(nothing)

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Elaine: You wanna taste mine? George: Oh, you wanna taste mine? Elaine: No I don't. George: If you wanna taste mine, you don't have to offer me some of yours. Elaine: Alright, let's just forget it.

5.07 - The Non-Fat Yogurt

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Frank: ...And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and tell them ALL THE WAYS THEY HAVE DISAPPOINTED YOU OVER THE PAST YEAR! Kramer: And is there a tree? Frank: No, instead there's an aluminum pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting. Kramer: Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch. Frank: Let's do it, then! Festivus is back! I'll get the pole out of the crawl space!

9.10 - The Strike

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Elaine: What? George: Nothing. It's a card from my dad. Elaine: What is it? "Dear son, Happy Festivus"? What is Festivus? George: It's nothing. Jerry: When George was growing up -- George: Jerry, NO! Jerry: -- his father hated all commercial and religious aspects of Christmas, so he made up his own holiday. Elaine: Ohhhhh, and another piece of the puzzle falls into place. George: Alright. Jerry: And instead of a tree, didn't your father put up an aluminum pole? George: Alright, Jerry, stop it! Jerry: And weren't there always Feats of Strength that always ended up with you crying? George: I can't take it any more, I'm going to work! You happy now?!

9.10 - The Strike

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Jerry: What are you doing? Kramer: Getting some cereal. Jerry: That's -- that's tomato juice! Kramer: That looked like milk to me!

8.08 - The Chicken Roaster

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Jerry: It was a scratch!

4.13 - The Pick

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Newman: Okay, what is it? Jerry: Here, take a look at this card, tell me if you notice anything unusual about it. Newman: Yeah, your nipple's showing. Jerry: Okay, thanks. Newman: Anything else? Jerry: No. Newman: Alright. See you later.

4.13 - The Pick

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TV Announcer: It looks like Woody Woodpecker is running out of air. In fact, he's collapsing. Kramer: Those kids look pretty disappointed. Jerry: Especially that big kid up in the front. How old is he?

6.08 - The Mom and Pop Store

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Kramer: I really like those glasses he was wearing. Where'd he get those? Elaine: Why? You don't wear glasses. Kramer: I know, I know, but I need a new look. I'm stagnating. George: I have to say, as a glasses wearer, I take exception to that. That's like me buying a wheelchair to cruise around in. Kramer: Yeah, I've considered that.

6.13 - The Scofflaw

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George: Can't you just switch with another midget? Mickey: It's "little people". You got that?

5.16 - The Stand

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Susan: I'll tell you, I'd never name my child Soda. George: Oh, no, no, no, of course not. I've got a great name for our kids. Real original. You wanna know what it is? Hmm? You ready? Susan: Yeah? (George whistles and draws a seven in the air) Susan: What is that, sign language? George: No. Seven.

7.13 - The Seven

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8.04 - The Little Kicks

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Jerry: I never knew what to say to her about it! It was one of those problems I hoped would just go away!

8.04 - The Little Kicks

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8.04 - The Little Kicks

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Elaine: Hey, George, can you feel this?

5.14 - The Dinner Party

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Elaine: You should see his bathrobe, man. It's all silk. Jerry: Yeah? Does he wear slippers, I bet he wears slippers. Elaine: He does! How'd you know that? Jerry: I can tell.

3.11 - The Alternate Side

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Jerry: Leo, I saw you at Brentano's yesterday. Uncle Leo: Why didn't you say 'Hello'? Jerry: Because you were too busy stealing a book. Uncle Leo: You still say 'Hello'!

9.17 - The Bookstore

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Walter: So, Elaine...are you going to dance this year? Elaine: Maybe. All over your face! Waitress: If you do dance, the cooks want to know so they can be brought out of the kitchen. They missed it last year.

9.17 - The Bookstore