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@self-help-me
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see the THING IS I don't feel like I ever worked hard enough to have "earned" the burnout, which is. probably how we got here.
idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol
One time when I was younger I was refusing to take headache medicine and my mom said “the person who invented that medicine is probably so sad you won’t let them help you” and now every time I find myself denying medicine I just imagine the saddest scientist making those big wet eyes like “why won’t you let me help” and whoop then I take the medicine
scientist when you don't take the medicine they developed to help your pain
As long as you are taking a SAFE dose of it, then it's *good* for you. Pain is bad for the body. The inflammation from prolonged pain can worsen chronic issues and make it harder to heal.
Ibuprofen is best for pain that has inflammation, while acetaminophen doesn't help with inflammation but is more broadly effective on other types of pain. As long as you are taking the recommended dose, you can even take them TOGETHER, since they have different mechanisms of action.
You do need to be aware of how much and how often you are taking any pain medication. Overdoses can be very painful (even lethal.) And if you are in chronic pain often enough that you need more than the safe dose, then you need to look into other medications to manage that pain.
(Also, if you are specifically taking Acetaminophen/Tylenol for your go-to pain management, getting some NAC and taking that with it reduces the risk of overdose AND may strengthen the effect.)
One other thing: NSAIDS (ibuprofen, aspirin, and naproxen being the three big ones) can cause digestive issues with chronic use, including stomach ulcers. That doesn't mean "don't take them," it means "if you're at the point where you're on them all the time, every day, constantly, you should talk to a doctor about either reducing that risk or switching to another medication that doesn't have those side effects."
I don’t have the source for this table anymore but I felt it should be added to this post.
Also please please please consult your doctor if you are on any other type of medication that put large strains on your liver or kidneys before taking any kind of NSAIDs as they can recommend alternatives.
Yes Chronic Kidney Disease and liver disease prevent the use of NSAIDS entirely. Please remember this. Tylenol is the least harmful to these organs. If migraines are your problem, ask neurologist about the triptan drug family. Downside with these is nausea.
I feel that it is worth bringing up again:
As a scientist, this is the way I feel when people in pain don't take the medication that was developed to help with pain:
Especially because as a scientist, I know that pain sensitization is a thing, and that experiencing pain for long periods of time can even train your whole nervous system to be even more reactive to potential pain. So if at all possible, I want my friends who are experiencing pain to try to control that pain as much as possible.
So if you are in pain, and you do not have any massive kidney and liver strain that prohibits you from taking a NSAID or paracetamol/Tylenol?
Please take the pain medicine. Please. Pleeeaaaaaase. I'm a scientist.
yeah i'm a scientist who specializes in designing new pain meds. suffering is not noble, this is exactly how i look when y'all don't manage your pain:
take the meds! i became a scientist in this field explicitly to help people! i became a scientist because i too experience chronic pain and i failed out of literally all pain meds on the market. those of us in this field, we make these things to be used. be safe, follow doses, and if you have questions, ask your doc and pharmacist!
Now if only they could come up with an NSAID that doesn't set off an IBS flare. (Yes, even ibuprofen triggers me.) Or maybe a pain med that reduces inflammation through a different mechanism? If it comes down to joint pain v. GI pain/symptoms, I'll take the joint pain.
I've been disabled for almost 29 years. Here's what I've learned.
Tablets sink and capsules float. Separate out your tablets and capsules when you go to take them. Tip your head down when taking capsules and up when taking tablets. Liquigels don't matter, they kinda stay in the middle of whatever liquid is in your mouth.
If your pill tastes bad, coat it with a bit of butter or margarine. I learned this from my mom, who learned it from a pharmacist.
Being in pain every day isn't normal. Average people experience pain during exceptional moments, like when they stub their toe or jam their finger in a door, not when they sit cross-legged.
Make a medical binder. Make multiple medical binders. I have a small one that comes with me to appointments and two big ones that stay at home, one with old stuff and one with more recent stuff.
Find your icons. Some of mine include Daya Betty (drag queen with diabetes), Stef Sanjati (influencer with Waardenburg syndrome and ADHD), and Hank Green (guy with ulcerative colitis who... does a bunch of stuff). They don't have to be disabled in the same way as you. They don't even have to be real people. Put their pictures up somewhere if you want; I've been meaning to decorate my medical binders with pictures of my icons.
Take a bin, box, bag, basket, whatever and fill it with items to cope with. This can be stuff for mentally coping like colouring books or play clay or stuff for physically coping like pain medicine or physio tape.
Decorate your shit! My cane for at home has a plushie backpack clip hanging from the end of the handle and my cane for going places is covered in stickers. All of my medical binders have fun scrapbooking paper on the outside. Sometimes, I put stickers and washi tape on my inhalers and pill bottles. I used my Cricut to decorate my coping bin with quotes from my icons, like "I've seen enough of Ba Sing Se" and "I need you to be angrier with that bell".
If a flare-up is making you unable to eat or keep food down, consider going to the ER. A pharmacist once told me that since my eye flares can make me so nauseous that I cannot eat, then I need to go to the hospital when that happens.
Cola works wonders for nausea. I have mini cans of Diet Pepsi in my coping bin.
Shortbread is one of the only things I can eat when nauseous. Giant Tiger sells individually-wrapped servings of shortbread around Christmas or the British import store sells them year-round. I also keep these in my coping bin.
Unless it violates a pain contract or something, don't be afraid to go behind your doctor's back to get something they are refusing you. I got my cardiologist referral by getting in with a different NP at my primary care clinic than who I usually saw. I switched from Seroquel to Abilify by visiting a walk-in.
If you have a condition affecting your abdomen in some way (GI issues, reproductive problems, y'know) then invest in track pants that are too big. I bought some for my laparoscopy over a year ago and they've been handy for pelvic pain days, too. I've also heard loose pants are good for after colonoscopies.
Do whatever works, even if it's weird. I've sat on the floor of the Eaton Centre to take my pills. I've shoved heating pads down my front waistband to reach my uterus.
High-top Converse are good for weak ankles. I almost exclusively wear them.
You can reuse your pill bottles for stuff. I use my jumbo ones to store makeup sponges and my long skinny ones to hold a travel-size amount of Q-Tips.
Just because your diagnostics come back with nothing, it doesn't mean nothing is wrong. Maybe you were checking the wrong thing, or the diagnostic tool wasn't sensitive enough. I have bradycardia episodes even though multiple cardiac tests caught nothing. I probably have endometriosis even though my gynecologist didn't see anything.
You can bring your comfort item to appointments, and it's generally a green flag when someone talks to you about it. I brought a Squishmallow turkey (named Ulana) to my laparoscopy and they had her wearing my mask when I woke up. I brought a Build-A-Bear cat (named Blinx) to another procedure and a nurse told me that everyone in the hall on the way to the procedure room saw him and were talking about how cute he was. Both of those ended up being positive experiences and every person who talked to me about my plushies was nice to me. If you don't feel comfortable having it visible to your provider during the appointment, you can hide it in your bag and just know it's there, or if you're in a video appointment, you can hold it below frame in your lap.
Get a small bucket, fill it with stuff, and stick it in your bed (if you have room for it). I filled a bucket with Ensure, juice boxes, oatmeal bars, lotion, my rescue inhaler, etc. in October 2023 in anticipation of my laparoscopy and I still have it in my bed as of January 2025.
If your disability impacts your impulse control (e.g. ADHD, bipolar disorder), you should consider setting limits around your spending -- no more than X dollars at a time, nothing online unless it's absolutely necessary, and so on. Or, run these purchases by someone you trust before committing to them; I use my BFF groupchat to help talk sense into myself when I buy stuff.
Feel free to add on what you've learned about disability!
Get the shoes with the arch support. Always get the arch support. If it doesn't have arch support, add arch support. I almost exclusively wear skechers, and when I want to wear heels I wear pumps from Hot Chocolate Design. They're very supportive.
Also; make sure you try multiple mobility aids if one doesn't feel like it's meeting your needs. Research them and make sure you're using them correctly. I saw someone on here say that a good rule of thumb for which mobility aids are helping your is whether or not it feels like it's getting in the way. I can confirm this has helped me choose which aid to use.
Another piece of advice; prioritize your wellbeing and comfort. Wear things a size too big, skip the bra, get a better bra, whatever you need babe. I go braless typically, wear loose clothes, and have a comfort cardigan I'm wearing to death that I wear to work. Comfort items and comfortable clothes help.
A real, unbutchered pain scale.
Based on this, my base level of pain is a 7. Sounds pretty accurate
this is the pain scale I use! I keep it on my phone to show to doctors so they have an idea of what I mean when I say my average is a 7.
So I go to the dentist and the appointment I had was not the appointment that I thought I was going to have (normal maintenance vs deep clean) so i warned the dentist "hey heads up I burn through dental anesthetics super quick and also I'd like to use as little as possible because putting the dental anesthetics in my body is the most painful part of the process unless I'm having a root canal or something" and she's like "Hmm. Okay. Is it just the injection site?" and I was like "no, it will feel like burning on the opposite side of my face and in my nose and eyes and stuff." And she was like "Hmm. Do you turn really red when this happens?" And I was like "I don't know, I can't really see myself when it happens." And she was like "are you willing to experiment with this a little?" And I was like "sure, no worries" and she injected me with one anesthetic and it hurt like a motherfucker and she and the assistant both went "OOOH" and she was like "Yeah you got really red right away let's try the other," and it was the same thing and then she was like "okay I think this is the one that will work" and it hurt a little bit but it was fucking NOTHING compared to the comprehensive full stabbing burning facial pain from the others and long story short the dentist was like "You're reacting to the epinephrine in these other anesthetics," which I guess is fairly common for people who have autoimmune disorders.
So I guess this is to say: If you get spreading, burning, stabbing pain when you are being injected with local anesthetics it's not supposed to do that and you should say something.
the amount of openly far-right doctors and nurses in this country should scare you
litcherally it's so freaky when like liberals are constantly exhorting each other to "believe in science/believe medical professionals" like that gives us so little room to express skepticism about the political aspects of modern medicine without coming off as a covid denier anti vaxxer strawman. even (perhaps especially) if you're talking about something totally unrelated like psychiatry or trans healthcare
and if you criticize the amount of power doctors have over patients people coming to their defense employ the exact same arguments for protecting cops “just because you had a traumatic experience with a bad apple it doesn’t mean they are all like that”, “most doctors are good people”. it doesn’t matter! the fact I can’t disagree with a doctor without either being denied care completely or face some form of repercussion is the problem, and the existence of particularly sympathetic doctors doesn’t alter my lack of autonomy within the institutions they represent
Self-care is constant practice of not letting more pain accumulate. It is about continually remembering that our lives are of value. It is active process of settling our nervous system so that we have more access to the present moment.
Susan Raffo
Your purpose in life is not to love yourself but to love being yourself.
If you goal is to love yourself, then your focus is directed inward toward yourself, and you end up constantly watching yourself from the outside, disconnected, trying to summon the “correct” feelings towards yourself or fashion yourself into something you can approve of.
If your goal is to love being yourself, then your focus is directed outward towards life, on living and making decisions based on what brings you pleasure and fulfillment.
Be the subject, not the object. It doesn’t matter what you think of yourself. You are experiencing life. Life is not experiencing you.
Thank you this is the first post about self love that hasn’t made me want to throw things
this sort of kind of reminds me of this class i had a few years ago where we talked about boundaries, how to keep them, and how to make sure people near you are safe too. probably because i think about it most of the time lol
the instructor was this big tall kind of imposing man who commented on how this exercise was one of the only times he thought that was a good thing. he asked for a volunteer and had them stand a few feet away from the wall on one end of the classroom while he walked over to the one opposite them. it was a big room so he was pretty far away
“i’m going to walk towards you and talk to you about my son,” he explained, in a totally friendly and disarming way. “im just going to talk and maybe gesture a little and walk towards you, just talking! and when i get too close, all you have to do is tell me to stop and i’ll stop. its ok! really! i wont be upset at all and this is just a class, i’ll stop on a dime!”
and then he did exactly what he said he was going to, but very loud and walking kind of fast. the room echoed and everyone was watching. he hadn’t lied at all, but it was just kind of a lot. the volunteer immediately took a step back and looked more guarded but didn’t say anything until he was basically on top of her.
he stopped, and then he asked her “when did you WANT me to stop?”
she admitted that she was a little uncomfortable about how fast he was moving from the start, but halfway across the room is when she really didnt want him closer.
“yeah, i know! i was paying attention. i saw your nonverbal cues right away, but a lot of people who preface their actions with a speech like mine won’t. by constantly reassuring someone they can tell you to stop, the responsibility falls on YOU instead, in their eyes, and also makes you second guess using that to begin with! because you knew i didnt want to hurt you, or thought you knew that, the idea of telling me to stop, of suggesting i wasn’t safe, made you second guess your gut and worry about my feelings. it’s good to check in like i did, but it doesn’t mean you can stop being perceptive, and you have to keep in mind that just because you give them this tool doesn’t mean they’ll feel comfortable using it. once you understand that, there will be a lot fewer cases of people “blowing up” at you”
good evening, gamers
its 3am and i just wanted to say that this post has 10k notes now and its the only self-helpy people-decodery post ive made that spread this far without people twisting it into absolute garbage, so thank you so much for that alone
but the thing that really makes me feel emotional about it is that with most posts like this you see around, picking at how manipulation works and how abuse can bloom, they’re either presented or taken as things to watch out for in others, as things to look at and go ARGH, THIS EXPLAINS MY EX!!! and there is some of that! a lot of that! and its good and i love that people might be a little safer now dealing with others
but a significant portion of the tags and replies are from people who realize they do this, or even that they might do this. and of those, people have seemed embarrassed, mortified, scared, saddened, sure, but every single one has had an underlying current of “well, now i know a thing i can get better at”. you want to treat people better, and thats amazing. it also says that even if it feels disgusting to see this in yourself, that somewhere on some level you know you can improve. and its true!
thats so fucking cool i cannot get over it.
You know…I’ve seen this post before but it didn’t hit me until this time. Especially the idea of “just because someone has a tool doesn’t mean they’re comfortable using it.” And it goes in both directions, too, because I’ve seen people who feel bad about not using tools–people who say things like, “well, I should’ve said stop” or “if I really felt strongly about it I should’ve said something, that’s on me” and while maybe there’s some truth to that, there’s also a lot of truth to the fact that we should never stop sharing the responsibility for one another’s safety and comfort. Yeah I’ve said “hey you can tell me if I’m making you uncomfortable” and you’ve said “I can speak up if I need to” but that doesn’t mean I can’t respect your non-verbal cues and it also doesn’t mean you are at fault if you weren’t able to use a tool you’ve been trained to be afraid of using
anyway OP this is mind-opening and I appreciate you lots
Stretching Exercises for Wheelchair Users and workout on Chairs
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[ID: Five screenshots of a Twitter thread by iza @plant_homo:
First Screenshot:
ADHD might be easier for neurotypicals to understand if you know that adhd means that our baseline dopamine is lower than a neurotypical's. A thread on understanding ADHD a little bit more.
Second screenshot:
The most obvious result of this is depression, but not like clinical depression. It looks similar though. Boredom, nothing seems exciting anymore, and even surface level things like not getting out of bed and bad personal hygiene are there.
Because as you can imagine, low dopamine sucks. In its basis, it causes underexcitement. Someone with ADHD will take any opportunity for a shot of extra dopamine.
To an outsider, this looks like intense and always changing interests, inability to focus on mundane tasks, recklessness with money, overeating and snacking, always doing multiple things at once, inability to sit still, etc etc.
Third Screenshot:
And that's what ADHD was named for: what it looks like from an outsider's perspective. The hyperactivity. The symptoms that are inconvenient for neurotypicals.
ADHD is a disability. It causes us to be impaired or unable to function in a neurotypical world. It impacts our schooling, socialization, work etc.
But that's not how it's known to the outside world. People don't know about how it feels for us to be understimulated, to have a brain that just. will. not. do what you need it to, to be marked as lazy because our symptoms are misunderstood.
Fourth Screenshot:
The biggest thing of which is the inability to start and focus on mundane tasks. When a brain is at low dopamine, it does NOT want to do something that will lower that even more. It'll always be looking for something to increase it.
And that's why you'll often see us on our phones. They're a handheld dopamine machine. Social media, games, music, all the information about our special interests is at our fingertips. That's extremely interesting and tempting.
And before anyone compares this to addiction: stop it. Right now. All we want is the normal amount of dopamine. Compare it to being thirsty all the time instead.
Fifth Screenshot:
So, please, before you judge someone with ADHD for something you don't know a lot about, consider researching a little bit or asking that person if they can describe what's happening inside their brain. We're not lazy, just always looking for a normal dopamine level.
End ID]
want your own life dude! don’t long for anyone else’s life. even with the hardest most painful parts don’t pretend they’re not there, just fill your life up with as much of what you love what moves you what fulfills you what makes you happy and the hard shit becomes easier to deal with because you know there are all these things that keep you going. want your own life! it’s yours, only yours, no one else could have possibly been you isn’t that cool?
sometimes it’s better refrain from deep introspection and allow yourself to just be.
and by that I mean: I don’t have to sit with myself and overthink and analyze and rationalize every ounce of my being. I am not a case study I am a person. faults and all. like any other person. sometimes I have to look at my mistakes and avoid self flagellation. sigh and learn what I can and move on. remembering that I’m living, and this is part of the process. free myself of that inner critic. allow myself to be, and try again.