Not here. That was what Midnight told him, not here.
At first it was not enough. The ache in Jackâs chest was too gratuitous, as if he was the one who had been shot, as if his was the bleed that couldnât be stemmed. It demanded, somewhere in its darkest depths, that the exchange at least be fair. Someone faces death for this. Someone has to look it in the eye and know that they are escaping by a miracle only. Right now, Midnight was the closest thing to someone who could give him, one way or another, the path to appease that toll. Jack twisted the shirt collar that was already tightly wound in his fists. His jaw ached with all the force he was channeling into it, pressing down instead of letting loose the wild yell that was beating on the inside of his throat. He would pick the fight if it was not given to him.
But it did not work. There was no indignation, no returning force, only hands that closed over his own with an gentleness he did not care for, a returned eye that calmly served as a mirror. Fuck you, he thought, fuck your empathy. But he did not swing. After a moment, he could not even bring himself to look. He broke away with the heels of his palms pressing into his forehead. The heels, because -for as little as heâd been permitted to hold her- the middle of his palms and up were bloodied. So much of it wasnât dry- just a tacky, macabre layer that had, without his notice until now, clung to his skin and begun to crack. Jack held his hands away from himself like they were coated in poison. They were shaking.
âI canât. have this conversation. like this.â He ground the words out through his teeth. It was as much of an invitation as Midnight was going to get before Jack stalked away to find something, anything that would take at least the actual blood off of his hands. The feeling, of course, would linger -it had been around this long, and certainly wouldnât be taking a break now- but heâd be less likely to drive his fist through something if there was nothing to hide the mark it would leave behind.
+ Although Dawn has a "real"/city/traditional name she's had the nickname since she was born. Before her parents settled on a name, they called her "baby dawn" because of the timing of her birth and even after they settled on Valerie, Dawn still stuck around a bit. Naturally, it was what she picked for her callsign after she lost her parents.
+ Vi had very minimal formal schooling, probably only to about the fifth grade. She's a poor reader, and struggles with complex vocabulary.
+ Fox (to his delight and most of the others horror) is really good at.. I guess I have to just call it throwing? Put a knife or dart in his hand and tell him to hit a bullseye three times in a row and you can collect your bet money from all the doubters at the end of the night because he can and will. EDIT: MARKSMANSHIP. HE HAS GOOD MARKSMANSHIP.
+ You know that video where the girl and guy race to drink like a whole pint of beer and the girl downs her glass in like .4 seconds and then dances to Thriller? Des can do that. (The drink thing not dance to thriller. She could probably dance the thriller dance too, though.)
+ Jack has broken the same finger (left ring) four times.
+ Phantom is really bad at holding his alcohol. (Any more than two drinks and he's screwed tbh)
+ Tox very rarely gets sneezy but when he does, does that thing where he sneezes like fifteen times in a row with no pauses.
////Thank u for ur interest in my most tragic of children wah
1. Do they have many personalities/masks, or only a few?I wouldnât say she has very many, no, but she does utilise them often, so it might seem like she has many. Itâs more of a quality/quantity thing, though.
6. Do they put effort into maintaining and cultivating each version of themself, or do they go with the flow and adjust their behavior without reflecting on it?Sort of? But also not really? The masks are just that, masks, and she does put effort into maintaining them, but not in a sense of like, as a complete, consistent personality if that makes sense? The masks arenât (usually) for appeasing others, theyâre for defense, her self-preservation, so itâs important to her that they work and are flexible enough to serve in many situations, while also not really mattering whether or not itâs something they buy into a lot of the time, yknow? Basically, she doesnât care if you believe the attitude sheâs presented is genuine as long as it keeps you from trying to get around or through it.
âŚ.And you know what. Itâs as I finished typing that sentence that I realize the âI donât really careâ position is the mask and Iâve been played by my own kid. Apparently her masks are cultivated really really well, she got me for a second there, I really believed she would not care about the strength of the believability when â thatâs the whole reason theyâre her crutch. Anyway sheâs spent a lot of time perfecting her select few masks and it must be super difficult for anyone outside of her immediate circle to identify them as facades. As far as her reputation and most of the population of the great, dusty earth is concerned, Vi is an secretive, short-tempered, masochistic bitch, and by god is that exactly how she wants it. (Well. Most of the time.)
8. Have they encountered problems in the past, regarding their own inconsistencies? In terms of with strangers, I doubt it, because the odds of them even spotting an inconsistency in her seems unlikely. In terms of with people close to her, yeah, itâs no doubt caused a few issues here and there. Hurt feelings more than anything else, probably, when they realize that sheâs effectively been keeping them at an arms distance. (Luckily for Vi, most of the people she gets close to can recognize that, despite her initial distance, sheâs making real effort, and they tend to be prepared to forgive her.)
(((Not always but thatâs a different conversation)))
10. When, if ever, are they completely genuine?There are moments. They are scattered and often brief, and it can be hard to predict what will really, actually bring Vi out of her shell, but it happens. The situation often involves her being around Fox, Lith & Tech, or Jack (but yknow, doesnât have to, thatâs the whole thing, no one ever knows when itâs gonna happen) and all of the Haven kids are very deliberate not to make a big deal out of it when the little moments appear cause itâll embarrass her. Except, well, sometimes Fox canât help it, but he can get away with a lot in Viâs books. Heâs been really instrumental in breaking through all of her masks, actually. Heâs sort of brought her back to the light, in a sense.
11. If theyâre an adult, have they gained masks as they aged, or simplified?I donât think Iâd quite classify her as an adult (despite the fact that sheâs like 21(?)) but nevertheless Iâd say sheâs simplified, stopped using so many. She still relies on the ones shes kept a lot, but sheâs gotten the chance to put a number of them away, which -in her case- is a big step forward. Just because of the way the desert is I doubt sheâll ever be able to be rid of them all, but itâs nice to see her start to forget some of them as she keeps going and finds herself starting to feel, sometimes, almost kind of safe without them.
14. Pick a mask. What is its purpose?The main, most fleshed out one is a Vi that is aggressive and powerful and mostly just really, really doesnât give a single flaming shit about you or anything else. This is her go to, her comfortable day-wear; itâs rare to see her without it. Itâs purpose is, as Iâve kind of said, proactive defense. Itâs a front to warn people off in an attempt to avoid letting them have the ability to hurt her. Which isnât to say she wonât fuck you up, because she absolutely will, but even that -her willingness to cause people physical harm- can arguably be called a mask. She doesnât necessarily enjoy it, it just feels like the best choice. Theoretically speaking, you canât hurt her if sheâs hurting you.Â
19. Do their masks tend to exaggerate features of their authentic self, or mute them?Mute. Mute mute mute, itâs all about the safety of a thing to hide behind. I mean, I guess argument can be made that she does have a bit of a surly, short tempered streak, but ultimately so does everyone, and she just really wants to keep you as far away from capable of hurting her as she can. One big irl block button. Given the chance sheâs really kind, dependable, and supportive, and not to mention has something of a motherly streak (to her absolute horror the first time she met Fox. Realizing how quickly and powerfully she wanted to protect and love and care for him scared the everloving fuck out of her and she probably tried really hard not to. Of course she failed miserably but, hey, turns out thatâs been a good thing.)
///So this is me doubling back after answering several to preface this with: a lot of these operate on the assumption of a person depending on masks and shifts in their personality to deal with/interact with others and the thing isâŚwell, he mostly doesnât. Jack by and large deals equally across the board with people. Almost any variance comes from just the ease of familiarity (or the lack thereof), really, so some of this was really difficult and some of it just really didnât feel like there was an applicable answer besides, like⌠âhe doesnâtâ soâŚsryÂ
 Also goddamn this got longÂ
1. Do they have many personalities/masks, or only a few?He definitely has..I mean, at least one sort of .. impassive mask for dealing with less than savory types, but I think for the most part itâs more a matter of him being reticent by nature than specifically masked or of varying personality.
2. What are the most dramatically different masks they take on?Itâs not a mask he uses anymore, but the happy-to-be-a-pawn performance he had to give in the years after mayhem was found out and Mads was in detainment was definitely a very jarring thing to be met with if you knew him at all before (and ultimately became somewhat difficult for him to shake.) The most different one from that was probably from the era when he was fresh to the desert - he felt trapped in the puppet persona and tended to overcompensate with a lot of aggression and, sometimes, straight up antagonism as a way of making sure people knew he wasnât just another mindless drone.
3. Is it important to them that others believe theyâre being genuine?Rather than âbelieveâ heâs being genuine, I would say it is fairly important to him that people know he is being genuine. His reputation is, at this point, important to the way he lives and rather than have that be some kind of false front, itâs important to him that it stands as much as possible (people exaggerate) on truths. Heâd rather have a few instances of people having negative opinions about whats true than a bunch of false and varied impressions floating around.
4. Whatâs their favorite mask?This is.. I mean, n/a. Heâs never found any joy or comfort in fronting with anyone.
5. Whatâs their least favorite?He really hated happy-to-be-a-pawn. Not that he had ever been like, particularly inclined to public protest before (more like quiet disagreement) but just the total subservience and inability to even feel like you could feel differently than how youâd been told was brutal. Heâd always had a fairly strong sense of self, individuality, even when he was young, so forcing those kinds of thoughts and his sense of honor and pride as a person down and down and down (even in the name of a good end goal) really ate away at him. It broke down a lot of his previous certainty and had this effect of likeâŚbeing a mask that he himself almost believed, and it just about crushed him. It took a lot of work to pry it all the way off and leave it behind. He still, in a way thats very hard to articulate clearly, loves the city.
6. Do they put effort into maintaining and cultivating each version of themself, or do they go with the flow and adjust their behavior without reflecting on it?I guess the answer here is âgo with the flowâ though heâs not like, thoughtless about how he treats people. Iâm stuck again with feeling like he doesnât have different masks to really maintain, so itâs not like he has to plan how heâs going to react to things according to perceptions or anything, but at the same time heâs not going to be blase about how he behaves. Which might not actually but the question here, but felt important to distinguish.
7. When they see discrepancies in another characterâs behavior, do they feel betrayed? Unsettled?Not typically. Some of this stems from him being relatively skilled at reading people which leads me to think he probably wouldnât believe a front (or heâd at least have suspicions) to begin with, therefore rarely being shocked by the turn. Also, though, he just⌠gets it. Some people have to hide or amplify or duplicate or twist or conceal (or or orâŚ) themselves to survive. (*cough Tech cough*) Heâs not a big fan of it, but he gets it. Ultimately, if he feels like someoneâs hidden behind too many masks and doesnât even want to make effort to be sincere, he just avoids investing in them. Do what you have to, but donât expect him to play along much.
8. Have they encountered problems in the past, regarding their own inconsistencies?Um. I feel like yes but I other than the struggle with himself I donât have any specific examples.
9. How hard would it be for them to live as their single, genuine self?I mean. I think he already does and I donât think itâs a struggle. He had to struggle to get to the point where he could, but now its.. I mean heâs just Jack.
10. When, if ever, are they completely genuine?A walking genuine artifact, ladies and gentlemen. I mean, okay, heâs not above bluffing now and then and itâs not as if heâs an open book you can walk all over, but, as I feel like a broken record, thereâs just not a lot of call from him to be ingenuine. Thereâs nothing you can use against him that hasnât been already or that he hasnât used against himself. His identity -it being known- holds no horror for him.
11. If theyâre an adult, have they gained masks as they aged, or simplified?Simplified, definitely. Thereâs no demand for fake Jacks anymore, at least none he feels compelled to bow to.
12. How do they deal with situations where they canât tell which mask is required?(See the last part of answer 11.) You get what you get. You can outline your expectations but I mean..if youâre asking for something that would see him change his fundamental self youâre (very probably) not gonna get it.
13. Do they more admire adaptability or authenticity?He doesnât think theyâre mutually exclusive ((andâŚâŚactually I donât either đ)) You can be adaptable and multiskilled without sacrificing an authentic self. Itâs a disservice to humankind, really, to say there is just one thing you can be at a time with certainty, and certainly to say that one cannot be adaptable simply because they are authentic. Especially if adaptability is their authenticity.I mean, his callsign is âJack of All Trades.â âAnd thatâs less of a callsign and more of him making a joke.Â
If killjoy names hold identities you design for yourself, heâs still Jack. He chooses that.
(And I get that like⌠its more of a sense of âadaptabilityâ in terms of delivering on someoneâs expectations or desires rather than a broad application of the term, I donât mean to say this is a poor question because itâs not. It just. Feels like a point at which contention should be made. Context is key, obviously, but labelling authenticity and adaptability as opposites feels âŚwrong?)
14. Pick a mask. What is its purpose?For the sake of argument, weâll call Haven Leader⢠a mask. I suppose it does, at times, call for him to put aside a bias or embrace a bit of false bravado, so you could say itâs something liek an altered personality. From that angle its purpose is to protect and inspire. (Really though it just feels like more of a facet of him than a separate identity. Part of the package, not a separately sold item.)
15. In a life or death scenario, what mask do they wear?Okay so on this I have wiggle room. I still hesitate to call it a mask because itâs more like layers of the thing as opposed to any intetional coverup. Heâs going to present with a ânot if I kill (person/threat/etc.) firstâ kind of righteous determination/anger, but I feel like, at the same time, itâs clear that thatâs the surface of a torrent of emotions that also includes ripe desperation and corpulent fear that arenât actually all that hard to detect.
16. At The End Of All Things, a la Frodo on the slopes of Mt. Doom, what mask do they wear?ThisâŚfeels like itâs going to be really similar to the last answer. You might primarily be presented with one thing (in this case ⌠acceptance I think? Very âIâm glad to be here with you, Samâ feels right, since you mentioned it) but itâs not in an attempt to guise anything else, per se, itâs just whatâs most important to him. You know itâs sad and crushing, and thatâs still present, but thatâs not the point that stands to be made.
17. Alone with the most important person in their life, what mask do they wear?None. (And the ease of familiarity draws out more of his physically affectionate displays and itâs the best, I love.)
18. Are they easily pressured into taking on altered roles, or do they only do so out of necessity?Absolute necessity, and Iâd say heâs really almost at a point where a ânecessityâ for it canât exist to him anymore. (I mean, see the last part of answer 11 (again))
19. Do their masks tend to exaggerate features of their authentic self, or mute them?His former masks uh..both. Obviously there were faces he put on that almost deconstructed his entire identity, but things like the new-to-the-desert-and-angry was an exaggeration of his outrage and sense of injustice. A belated response to everything his mother caused, if you will, reawaked by her freshly abandoning them a second time and having (as he thought at the time) lost Maddy forever.
20. Whatâs an example of a mask thatâs become more comfortable over time?I guess for the sake of argument we can go with Leader again. If I want to really really break him down I can say that, even though others have often defered to him easily, giving him the natural leader trait, he probably wasnât always very comfortable with adopting it as a real piece of himself. Especially when he was âleadingâ by following orders. That could just as easily be attributed to him being young, though, and heâs definitely aged into a figure more collected and accepting of himself, so with that came the acceptance of it being role he fills in other peoples lives. They look to him, and itâs not a bad thing anymore â and heâs self aware to know that heâs going to make mistakes within the role, but hopes that those mistakes will be looked on with grace due to the knowledge that he has done and will always do his genuine best.
Most everyone takes on different personalities and behaviors depending on what our circumstances require and who weâre interacting with. In regards to your character(s):Â
1. Do they have many personalities/masks, or only a few?
2. What are the most dramatically different masks they take on?
3. Is it important to them that others believe theyâre being genuine?
4. Whatâs their favorite mask?
5. Whatâs their least favorite?
6. Do they put effort into maintaining and cultivating each version of themself, or do they go with the flow and adjust their behavior without reflecting on it?
7. When they see discrepancies in another characterâs behavior, do they feel betrayed? Unsettled?
8. Have they encountered problems in the past, regarding their own inconsistencies?
9. How hard would it be for them to live as their single, genuine self?
10. When, if ever, are they completely genuine?
11. If theyâre an adult, have they gained masks as they aged, or simplified?
12. How do they deal with situations where they canât tell which mask is required?
13. Do they more admire adaptability or authenticity?
14. Pick a mask. What is its purpose?
15. In a life or death scenario, what mask do they wear?
16. At The End Of All Things, a la Frodo on the slopes of Mt. Doom, what mask do they wear?
17. Alone with the most important person in their life, what mask do they wear?
18. Are they easily pressured into taking on altered roles, or do they only do so out of necessity?
19. Do their masks tend to exaggerate features of their authentic self, or mute them?
20. Whatâs an example of a mask thatâs become more comfortable over time?
origamiaround
kaledo-art
germansingergirl
blakekathryn
2087
turnnoffyourmind
janainaart
jbbartram-illu
