sempiternal

alex, 21 some, writing for old men since 2017

[sempiternalmuze]

⇢ ˗ 𝒔𝒆𝒎𝒑𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒎𝒖𝒛𝒆 𝒏𝒂𝒗𝒊𝒈𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 ࿐ྂ

𝘩𝘪! 𝘪'𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘹 :) 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘴, 21, 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘢, 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳 & 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙄𝘾𝙀! You may see writing/stories similar to that of other accounts. I have one other writing account (@angel-anoetic ) which is currently begin left on hiatus as I decide what to do with it. My other account (@angelalxx ) is my personal account. just a quick FYI!

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩

𝙞𝙣𝙗𝙤𝙭 - open for requests, open to chat!

𝙛𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙢𝙨 - stranger things, the walking dead, harry potter, daisy jones & the six, pedro pascal, the pitt

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙨 - most from listed above fandoms, druig, Four (6 Underground), declan o'hara, most characters portrayed by: joe keery, pedro pascal

𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘺 ೃ⁀➷

𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘱𝘢𝘥

𝘢𝘰3

ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ

[sempiternalmuze]

how scarlet it was

declan o'hara x dbf!Reader

Maroon by Taylor Swift. after a whirlwind affair is cut short you must make peace with Declan. a dinner party going awry proves it may not be so easy- for either of you.

tags: declan o'hara, he loves reader, taggie's best friend (but not super explicit about it), affair, I don't like Maude so she is the villain here, some angst but happy ending, rain scene lol

word count: 2.2k

ϟ.·:¨༺ ♡ ༻¨:·.ϟw

You waved at Taggie, quickly whispering to your father that you were going to join the party before rushing over to the doe-eyed girl, wrapping her in a tight hug.

"Darling girl, how have you been?" You squealed, squeezing her shoulders warmly. She smiled wide, recounting the adventure of a summer in London, how she'd been shopping regularly thanks to the generosity of a certain Campbell-Black. You two giggled, talking about what she'd missed, the drama of her wonderfully beautiful family, until a strong arm appeared in a doorway just past her.

Declan stood with a tight white shirt that decorated his broad shoulders and chest handsomely. The top two buttons were undone, letting just the right amount of his dark curly chest hair peek out at you. What a dick.

"Good evening girls, you both look sporting " He smiled, walking over to you both, placing a gentle kiss against Taggie's forehead before his eyes glanced over to you.

"Not too bad yourself Declan." You smiled politely. It had been a few months now since you found yourself pressed against a wall, Declan's lips capturing yours, begging for more as your body pushed against his. It felt more like weeks since he told you that he and Maude would be trying again, another reconciliation in a string of dead ends.

And you accepted, the guilt of sleeping with your dearest friends father beginning to seep into the pit of your stomach. There had been no tears, no fight. Just acceptance on both ends that made you reconsider how much it really had all meant.

He gazed over your dress, a clean white number with small blue flowers sprinkled about. "Darlin', will ya give us a moment?" He smiled at Taggie, squeezing her hand gently. She smiled and nodded, saying something about helping Rupert with bags.

You held your breath, as Declan's gaze traveled over you, the way your dress hugged you just right, falling just above your knee. He scratched at his jaw and sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Wanted ya' to know I told her." He looked down at the floor, hand running over his mustache, then resting on his jaw.

Your stomach dropped. "Declan-" You groaned, frustrated. Of course he would tell her. You weren't very mad at that, more so at the shame that you'd have to carry as you walked into the dining room, of their home, with their children.

You rubbed your face and took a deep breath. Declan walked over to you, taking your wrists, gently pulling them away from your face. His thumb caressed your hand, drawing small circles.

"It was the right thing to do. If her and I are going to...try, we needed everything out in the open." He met your eyes, lowering himself to your level. "Nothing to do with you darlin'- I promise." He placed a gentle kiss against your knuckles, and pull you close to him, his broad arms enveloping you. And damn you, as much as you tried, you couldn't help but lean into him, taking in his scent, a mix of firewood and bourbon.

A clearing throat made you both jump apart, and you both found Maude leaning against the doorway, a glass of wine already swaying in her hand.

Her pointed eyes made their way over your figure, before she scoffed and turned away. You could feel the heat rush to your cheeks, as Declan called after her, giving you an apologetic look.

About an hour and a half later you were sat next to Taggie and Rupert, making quiet conversation with them as the food was served out. You couldn't bring yourself to make eye contact with either Maude nor Declan, instead opting to push the food around your plate, toying with the hem of your dress.

You glanced around, spotting a bottle of Rosé calling your name. You quickly grabbed it, unscrewing the top and pouring some into your glass. You took a swig, letting it hang in your mouth, cringing at its bitter taste. You remembered a night a few months ago. Declan and you, laying on the wooden floor of your home. The fire had long been burned out, cold air creeping through the cracks in the wallpaper. He laid next to you in the pile of blankets, both of you naked. His chest rose and fell with each deep breath he took, his eyes screwed shut as he slept. You remember running your hand over his cheek, fingers carefully tracing over his jaw. In the moment you'd thought you had all of him. Every grumpy huff as he told you about the network, every smile when he talked about Taggie and Caitlin, and every pleading sigh when you pressed against him. The Rosé you'd drank that night had tasted so much sweeter.

And now you sat here, surrounded by his family and friends–that were also hers. There was no late night dancing in your kitchen, nor was there early morning coffee. But maybe that was the point. You would never be Maude, the daylight, trips to the shops, garden parties, waiting for him behind his office doors. You couldn't be. Not like this.

The thoughts rushed to your head, making you feel queasy, your cheeks warm as you placed the wine glass down a bit too quickly. You abruptly stood up, mumbling an excuse as you pushed away from the table, stumbling to the kitchen.

You brace yourself on the sink, breathing heavily, head spinning slightly.

"Oh poor girl, are you okay?" Maude appeared in the doorway. God this was quite possibly the last thing you needed right now. It was actually your worse nightmare.

You turned around, nodding, steadying yourself. "Yes, of course, I am so sorry Maude. I don't mean to ruin your party." You sigh and smile tightly at her.

She hums and walks over, pressing a hand to your face, feeling your temperature. "I'm sure, please don't worry yourself about it." She takes a sip of her drink, her eyes piercing into you over the edge of her glass. "You certainly weren't worried when you were fucking my husband."

You look away, the air sucked out from your chest in a minute. How does one even respond? Yes, I did fuck him, and it was the best time of my life, or perhaps, I'm in love with him and it kills me that he's choosing you?

You look away, in shame mostly, but also because you can't stand the way her eyes travel down your face, like they're carving into you, trying to make you bleed.

She steps towards you as you gather something to say. "M-Maude, I swear it was never su-" you don't finish before the feeling of lukewarm, heavy wine slips down your front. You gasp, looking down as the red wine splashes down the white dress, the blue flowers now a sad purple.

"What the fuck are ya doing?" Declan's voice rang out from the doorway.

You aren't sure what happens next, as you turn and grab a towel, trying to salvage what you can before the wine seeps any deeper into the threads. Maude and Declan yell at one another, an argument full of pent up anger, dismissal and blame. You stand at the sink, a bit frozen and in shock. Two glasses of wine and suddenly you're starring in your own telenovela. At some point the yelling stops, followed by slamming doors and a silence that's deafening.

You don't wait for them to find you like this, alone and tipsy in the kitchen with wine staining your new dress, nor do you respond when Taggie and Lizzie try to grab your hands as you leave out the front door, jacket hugged around you as you walk down the path from the O'Hara camp, to the lower hills where your small home resides. How stupid of you, to put yourself in a situation laced with so much memory and feelings.

You pushed open your front door, throwing down your bag, leaving the coat in a piled heap and through yourself onto the couch. You didn't want to move, didn't care to take off your heels or even change the dress, without a doubt very much unsavable now.

The minutes ticked by, the only sound your quiet breathing, a sniffle here and there, and the static of your old radio in the kitchen. Then a knock broke the peace, firm but soft. You glanced up, every scenario running through your head, an angry Maude out for more, a peeved Taggie wondering why you left and her parents were in disarray, and worse...Declan, coming to tell you that the distance wasn't large enough. That he needed to leave, or that you should for a new place down the isle. And the worst part is that you would. You move across the world if he wanted.

Another knock came through, and you rose to your feet, standing tall as you could. You opened the door only slightly, peeking out. A light rain had begun to fall, and it framed Declan's figure perfectly. His hair was damp, and his shirt was covered in a few scattered drops, along with some spots of wine.

He looked up, his eyes meeting yours.

"Love I am so fuckin' sorry." He sighed, stepping forward. You put your hand up, stopping him.

"Please Declan, not tonight. I can't handle anymore...shit." You sighed, pressing your hands to your face then wrapping yourself in your arms, desperate to be grounded.

He sighed, nodding. For a moment he turned, almost accepting that defeat. But then he turned back, pressing his hand to the door, pushing it open, standing inches from you.

"A month and a half ago I told you her and I were going to try. That I couldn't keep seeing ya' and that it was for the best." He looks serious as the words spill out. And all you can think about is how he has never looked at you like that. Declan has never focused his eyes on you the way they are right now. Rather, you're used to soft looks, glances that trace you like he is trying to pinpoint ever feature of yours.

Your chest twists, as if the embarrassment wasn't enough, now he's here, degrading you, reminding you of why you were so easy to leave. And worst of all he's being serious, stern, unforgiving. You nod, tears stinging your eyes.

"And darlin'...it was the worst fuckin' mistake of my life." You look up, eyes frantic to find the deception, but all they find is tragic sincerity.

"Because you left that night and do you know what I did? I stood in my kitchen for hours after. I couldn't move swear to you. Maude came home, and she wrapped her arms around me and when her perfume hit me, I felt disappointed, because it wasn't you. I couldn't even close my eyes to pretend it was you I was holding in my arms, because you fill all my senses, my smell, my touch, my taste."

You hardly realize, but he's pushed himself inside, the door shut behind him. You stare up at him, his soft once more, eyes that you've searched for in your waking moments during the last few weeks. Your heart thumps, beating so fast you worry it may decide to stop completely. Declan's hand come to rest on your face, cradling you like you'll break.

"I chose- no, shammed myself into thinking it was her, that all of the bullshit between us could be fixed. But all I could think about was you. That night I laid next to her and I hated myself, for hurting ya', for losing ya'." His other hands presses against your side, grip tight. Not in a possessive way, not like he doesn't want you to leave his sight. This is desperate, a quiet prayer that you hear him, like losing this grip on you is more than losing his physical touch. Like letting go would be your rejection of him.

"I love you. And if I ever lose you again, I'll no point in anything else. I swear it, love." He says it quietly, carefully restricting himself to give you time. His eyes, dark brown, wide, waiting.

You hardly realize it, but the tears have long disappeared. You're filled with something else now, hope or something similar. He loves you, and that's all you care about. Damn be Maude or wine or the weeks spent apart. All that matters now is the way Declan is looking at you and the words falling from his lips.

His lips. You glance at them once, then twice, then slam yourself against him. The kiss is desperate, needy, wanting of one another. It's a mess, his hand travels down to the small of your back, splayed across your center and warm as you find the tufts of hair at the base of his neck.

You both pull away, eyes closed, breath heavier than before. The rain has turned to a larger storm now, lighting shakes the house. Its fitting.

"I love you Declan, so fucking much. Please, don't ever leave me like that again."

"I wouldn't dream of it love."

ϟ.·:¨༺ ♡ ༻¨:·.ϟ

a/n: omggg I have been working on this one for almost a year and a half now! But I finally felt like I owed it a justice to post, and I feel really good about it. I hope you enjoy :)

[sempiternalmuze]

And we go on.

dr abbott x third year resident who feels with her whole soul. late night chinese takeout is how they connect

tags: dr. jack abbott x female!reader, jack calls reader kid ONE TIME, more off a slice of life deal we've got going on here, reader probs has anxiety ngl, full scope of relationship never really established, just kind of implied, jack abbott please save me pookie, reader loses patient, probably medical inaccuracy (sorry pitt and greys you raised me better), first fic in five minutes but I NEED this man, no use of y/n, female reader

enjoy and let me know <3

ϟ.·:¨༺ ♡ ༻¨:·.ϟ

"That's enough. Clock out. Now." Robby whispered, firmness and anger dripping from his tone.

You looked up at him, jaw clenched as you pushed around him, past Dana despite her best attempts to reach you, and straight to the elevator. You practically punched the fading 4 and waited for the doors to close. When they met in the middle you slid down the wall, breathing heavy.

Head pounding, fingers flexing as you recounted every step you'd taken on the patient. It should've been easy. Bag them, push the meds, step back. But something happened. She coded, her heart refused to cooperate. Robby had walked in, and that's when your head started spinning because god forbid you lose a patient in front of him. He'd told you to stop compressions five minutes ago. It wasn't fair.

The elevator stopped, you stood up, entering one of the empty rooms. This part of the hospital was empty, and the beds were heavenly after a shitshow in the Pitt. You sat, took down your hair. You glanced at your hands. They were shaking. A sob escaped you, a quiet, strangled sound that you fought hard to keep down.

The patient had been in her sixties, she was frail for her age. It probably wasn't your fault, but that didn't mean you weren't going to take it to heart. She had a life, a family. She woke up this morning, and now she was dead.

The tears had long run out. The AC was turning off and on, the buzz kept you awake. Your shift was over, but you didn't really want to go home. A buzz lit up your phone. You grabbed it, the text message bright as day.

Come downstairs, from Jack. You sighed, stood up and went back to the elevator.

When the doors opened, there he was. Dark washed out jeans, a tight blue tee, curls a bit disheveled.

"Robby called me." He barely had time to finish the sentence before you were pressed against him, arms holding tightly around his neck, as you breathed him in.

He didn't say anything, his arms wrapping around you, strong hands rubbing up and down your back. His head rested on yours, letting you take your time, regain your peace.

"Wanna get some Chinese?" You laughed and looked up at him, his soft eyes already looking down at you. You nodded. He presses the basement button, and the elevator moves. You two stand side by side, fingers brushing softly as the hum of the fluorescent lights sing around you.

You elect to grab your things during your next shift and soon enough you and Jack are off, walking in a hushed silence with the promise of orange chicken awaiting you.

At the restaurant (which is so courteous to be open late for the hospital workers or the loud college kids) Jack pays, much to your protests ("During my third year I could barely pay rent, you're not paying for your dinner") and you two sit in a booth in the back.

The food comes, the zesty warmth like a hug on what has been a shit day. After a few bites Jack pushes his white rice to the side and reaches across the table to you, his hand quick to find your own, fingers rubbing tiny shapes across the back of your palm.

"What happened out there today kid?"

Kid. It was such an arbitrary nickname that he'd assigned you when you two had first met. It made you feel small, like he didn't see anything past your age, past the gap of years between the two of you.

"I couldn't help her." Was all you could muster, barely looking up at him.

"No, you couldn't. She threw a clot. There wasn't anything anyone could do at that point. Not Robby, not me...not you sweetie." He leaned closer, his hand traveling to your arm now, pressing thumb into your forearm.

"You couldn't save her, but you've still got your pulse. You carry on. I'm not saying you should move on, I'm the last one to be giving out that advice." He smiles. And when Jack smiles you have to look, because its almost rare, almost a foreign action from him. So you look, and he catches your eyes, and you can't look away.

"I know you love with everything in your heart. I know you feel it all, its part of why I love you so damn much. But this work—and its work you are damn good at—you gotta pack it and set it on the curb."

You nod. His words have such power, they're so calculated but genuine. Never has Jack made you feel like your problems were small and stupid, or that you needed to get over it. But he did make sure you knew that you had to pack it up and move on to the next.

"How else are we supposed to live? We don't have to remember the reason, we just have to know its there." He'd told you after the fourth date.

You and Jack pack up the rest of the food, lunch for the next shift. He walks you home, he comes inside. Its quiet, the way you two interact. He doesn't push you, you don't need to thank him, because you both know where the line is, where the other person's head is at, and its so perfectly meshed for you both.

Its 10:43 pm when you crawl into bed, Jack laying beside you.

"You don't have to stay." You whisper.

"I know." Is all he whispers back, pulling you so your head rests against his bare chest, his arm hugging you close against his body. The night takes over, and you tangle your body with his.

And your head quiets.

ϟ.·:¨༺ ♡ ༻¨:·.ϟ

a/n: lol posting for the first time in MONTHS and I hope this is enjoyable. if you liked please like/reblog, it helps so much. give me feedback, I felt like I could see this "oc" coming together in my head and i'm wondering if I should make some sort of series from it. lots of love - muze

[sempiternalmuze]

Running Through the Halls of Your Haunted Home

Jack Abbott x doctor!Reader who has some problems being loved

tags: dr. jack abbott x female!reader, hurt comfort, reader runs away for a bit (story takes place when shes back), Robby being Jacks best friend, age/jobs not really established, implied not great childhood for reader, jack loves her ohmygod??, jack would never leave her tbh, a bit more flowery than i'm used to writing so let me know, let me know if i missed anything!

word count: 2.3k

Five months. That was the timeframe Robby had laid out for you when you'd came to him a few days after Christmas, explaining that you needed a break, need time away from the Pitt, the city, the state. He'd been kind enough to not ask too many questions, but you knew he'd hear it sooner than later directly from Jack during one of their therapy sessions.

So three days after Christmas you packed your bag, grabbed your passport, and changed your number. From one day to the next you had gone from Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center to Portel, Brazil with Doctors Without Borders.

And you lived. You took the time you needed to find your peace again, to pick up the pieces that you had left behind in the dusty apartment Jack and you had shared.

But now it was May-- and Robbie was calling your number every few days. And today when you answered he'd sounded at about wit's end.

"Time's up kid, we need you back here." He sighed, and you could almost see his hand running over his face, tired and no doubt thinking about a fourth—fifth—coffee.

You had stayed silent for a moment, playing with the sheet of your hammock. You glanced at the tents set up by the river, kids running around in a game of tag, parents watching from the sides as they spoke to the other doctors on your crew.

"What if I told you I liked it here more? Then what?" You said, glancing back at the water.

Robby lets out a throaty laugh, one that pulls you away and forces you back to the shuffle of the Pitt. "Because if you did, you would've just said that."

It's a valid point— and true. You wouldn't be asking, wouldn't be hoping he'd tell you any different. You probably would have blocked him, sent an email to Gloria and moved on with your life.

"And I also know what you've got waiting." He whispered. And he was right. You wouldn't just leave like that and not tell Jack. The only reason you had been able to do it the first time was because you knew it was temporary, and small fold in the story you two shared.

"How is he?" The weight was heavy on your shoulders, an invisible force that only left in the depths of night and that was if you were tired enough to fall asleep as soon as your head hit your pillow. Jack was strong, and smart. He'd been through so much worse than a girl who was afraid.

"Well...he visits the roof a lot more now. The first few weeks were...well they were real bad kid." He pauses, like considering what would be too much to tell you. "I offered him to come stay with me, get away from the apartment, but he said he liked it. It gave him a reason to hold on."

Reasons to hold, how very Jack Abbott of him. To want to have hope, to find the reasons even though he wasn't sure where any of it would lead.

"He'd doing better now, I don't have to act like a hostage negotiator too much these days. He comes out to the park with us after work and he makes jokes with the new med students. But he misses you, a lot."

You nodded with a hum into the phone. The sun was so peaceful this time of day, it bounced off the water and on to your skin. You let your eyes close and let your mind drift back to those months ago, from even before the fight, to when things were still solid between the two of you.

Walks in the park after a long shift, hands intertwined as he poked fun at you for your decisions during a shift. The nights spent in bed, room slightly too cold because otherwise you'd burn up with his body heat. Even on the days when it was hard, when his active duty days caught up to him, there was still something to have, because he'd let you hold him, let himself talk and talk about the people and the days of roughing it, of the bad things he saw, of the pain of a leg that was no longer attached to his physical being.

"Kid, I gotta let Gloria know by tonight. Are you back?" Robby's voice broke through the speaker with a crack of static.

"Of course I am Robby."

Now you were running through the airport, hair a mess, sanity hardly in tact. Cassie had been kind enough to come grab you after dropping off Harrison with Chad for the weekend. Today and tomorrow would be your days to get settled, then straight back to it on Monday.

"I've missed you so much!" She squealed, arms wrapped around your center tightly. "You have no idea how much it sucks to have to take on that waiting room with myself and Javadi." She laughs.

"Oh I bet, what would you ever do without me?" You laughed. You held her tight before you both crawled into the car. She started the engine, waving off some security yelling at her and took off.

"How was it?" She asks, face covered in excitement.

"It was amazing Cassie. The people, the pace, the location, all of it was just-perfect." You sigh and throw your head back. "I think it was exactly what I needed."

"That's great." She says. Her tone tells you that there's something else, something on her mind that she isn't saying out loud.

It takes about three minutes of uncomfortable silence and a red traffic light for her to turn to you. "Have you talked to him?"

Cassie was one of about four people who definitely knew what was going on between you and Jack, one of a few who knew lengths you'd go for one another. Her tone is soft, prodding but not overstepping.

"No, Cass I...I didn't want to do anything that might...I don't know, hurt more than it already would?" You sighed. You covered your face with your hands. "I felt horrible, for taking off on him the way I did. But I just...I knew that he'd make me stay."

Cass nods along, listening. She takes your hands in hers, holding it softly over the center console. She doesn't push or try to interject her own thoughts about the whole thing into your mind. She knows you well enough to know that no decision you made came lightly, that it took hours and hours of thought and careful planning.

The light turns green and the car starts moving again. "You don't have to go back so soon. You can stay with Harrison and I if you want to." Cass offers, a small glint in her eyes.

You take a moment to consider before looking out the window. "I need to go back Cass. To my home, to my stuff. I need to go back to him. I ran once but I'm ready. I finally feel ready to face what we left behind." You smile, hands gripping the door handle a bit too tight.

Cass nods and hums. "Just know I'm there. If you need me."

And that's what the conversation is left at. Fifteen minutes later your left staring at your building. Cass offered to go upstairs with you, but you'd elected to face it all yourself.

There were two options that stood in front of you. One, Jack was home, asleep, getting ready to head to bed and face another grueling night shift. The blackout curtains would be drawn and the apartment quiet. Would the floorboards remember your steps or creak under the unfamiliar weight of your long lost body? Maybe they would, and then they'd wake him, and you'd have to explain the last five months of your life to him while he was half asleep.

The other option was simple, he wasn't home, maybe getting groceries before he inevitably came home to crash out on the couch. It had irked you so much when you first started dating. The way he'd get off a few hours before you and offer to do the shopping, just for you to come home and find him asleep in the most neck sore position possible, jacket barely off, jeans twisted too tightly across his legs. But eventually it became a comfort, the way you could rouse him and make him follow you to bed, where you'd help him take off his prosthetic, rip off his scrubs in return for a clean shirt and pj pants. Or sometimes when you were both so tired after a rough day you could snuggle yourself between his arms, him hardly waking up, but still opening his strong arms so you could press against his chest.

And you find yourself hoping it can be like those distant couch sleeps. That he'll be there, asleep on the couch, and you can just lay with him, head pressed against his chest, snuggled right below his chin as his fingers splay over the middle of your back, gripping you as to not let you disappear again.

So when you turn your key into the lock, you take a deep breath. With the click sounding, you push the door open. You roll your suitcase in first, setting it to the side. Then you pause, listening. There's silence, and for a moment you think you're safe. The buzz of the AC when it clicks on startles you, but not as much as the man standing before you.

Jack stands near the couch, hand holding on to it, like he might fall over. He wears a tight black tee, some washed jeans and his tennis shoes. When you finally meet his eyes you see something, a glint of pain? Maybe sadness, maybe shock. His hair is slightly longer along the sides, his facial hair a bit more clean shaven than the stubble you had last seen him in. He doesn't move, neither do you. Its like the saddest cowboy stand off you've ever witnessed.

The click of the door behind you finally breaks the silence. You take a step forward, placing your keys down on the entry table. You can't tear your eyes from his. You wish you could read his face, know where to start on the long list of apologies and begging of forgiveness.

"I know you probably hate me. I know you maybe wish I would have never come back. And I know when I left we were in a bad position, a position that I never wanted to be at with you." Jack opens his mouth to say something, but you're quick to silence him with a raise of your hand.

"But I'm here. I'm here because I love you. Because I never wanted to leave in the first place. And you are the first stable thing I've had in my life since med school." A sudden hiccup burst from you, followed by tears. You couldn't stop it. In an instant your face was crumpled, warm, tears spilling from your eyes.

"Sweetheart..." Jack mutters, marching towards you until his arms swaddled your frame, arms pressing tight around your ribs, fingers grasping at your hair. His face pressed deeply against the crown of your head, and his chest pressed perfectly against your ear until you could hear the thumping of his heart.

"Jack Abbott you— God you fucking took my life and put it back together in ways I didnt think possible. You showed me that I could be loved. I was worthy of love and attention."

You pulled away, Jack's arms still resting across your waist, fingers digging in, as though fully releasing you would mean you walking out the front door forever this time.

"And I ran. I ran because I was so fucking scared that you'd wake up and decide that I wasn't worthy, that you didn't need to be here. And I wouldn't be able to handle that." You glanced at him, and while your vision remained slightly blurred, you found that he was already looking back at you. For a moment you thought pity might be the thing coursing through his dark eyes, but you realized it wasn't even close. It was more like concern, fear.

"I picked that fight because I thought it was the only way to get you to leave. But you didn't. You refused to leave, to give in. And that made me mad." You laugh, wiping your face. Jack cracks a smile, followed by a small chuckle of his own.

"You made me mad because instead of doing what everyone else has done, you planted your feet. And that made me the most scared." You said, staring down at the ground. Jack gave you a moment to collect yourself, and when it seemed your breathing had finally calmed a bit, he took your hands in his, fingers intertwining with his own, his calloused palms pushing against yours.

"I planted my feet because I knew exactly what you were doing." He says, soft, speaking more into your hair than into the open space around you two.

"It was a stupid battle, and you're not stupid, so of course I knew what you were doing. Because I know you, sweetheart." he chuckles a little, the sound vibrating in his throat. "And more importantly, I planted my feet because I wanted to stay. You have never ever been anything short of the most beautiful, loving, smartest, strongest woman in my life. You are the best thing I've had in years." He sighed, his hand lefts yours as it moved up your arm, until it fell onto your jaw, guiding your eyes to his.

"And you put me back together. And I love you for that." He finishes. Neither of you two move, letting each others words swell around your embrace.

Your eyes drop to his lips, soft and kind. He doesn't hesitate, pulling you against him, letting your lips grace each others for the first time in months. You sigh, pressing your body against his. He holds you close as you two drink each other in.

Eventually he pulls away, rests his forehead against yours.

"I've missed you."

ϟ.·:¨༺ ♡ ༻¨:·.ϟ

[sempiternalmuze]

how scarlet it was

declan o'hara x dbf!Reader

Maroon by Taylor Swift. after a whirlwind affair is cut short you must make peace with Declan. a dinner party going awry proves it may not be so easy- for either of you.

tags: declan o'hara, he loves reader, taggie's best friend (but not super explicit about it), affair, I don't like Maude so she is the villain here, some angst but happy ending, rain scene lol

word count: 2.2k

ϟ.·:¨༺ ♡ ༻¨:·.ϟw

You waved at Taggie, quickly whispering to your father that you were going to join the party before rushing over to the doe-eyed girl, wrapping her in a tight hug.

"Darling girl, how have you been?" You squealed, squeezing her shoulders warmly. She smiled wide, recounting the adventure of a summer in London, how she'd been shopping regularly thanks to the generosity of a certain Campbell-Black. You two giggled, talking about what she'd missed, the drama of her wonderfully beautiful family, until a strong arm appeared in a doorway just past her.

Declan stood with a tight white shirt that decorated his broad shoulders and chest handsomely. The top two buttons were undone, letting just the right amount of his dark curly chest hair peek out at you. What a dick.

"Good evening girls, you both look sporting " He smiled, walking over to you both, placing a gentle kiss against Taggie's forehead before his eyes glanced over to you.

"Not too bad yourself Declan." You smiled politely. It had been a few months now since you found yourself pressed against a wall, Declan's lips capturing yours, begging for more as your body pushed against his. It felt more like weeks since he told you that he and Maude would be trying again, another reconciliation in a string of dead ends.

And you accepted, the guilt of sleeping with your dearest friends father beginning to seep into the pit of your stomach. There had been no tears, no fight. Just acceptance on both ends that made you reconsider how much it really had all meant.

He gazed over your dress, a clean white number with small blue flowers sprinkled about. "Darlin', will ya give us a moment?" He smiled at Taggie, squeezing her hand gently. She smiled and nodded, saying something about helping Rupert with bags.

You held your breath, as Declan's gaze traveled over you, the way your dress hugged you just right, falling just above your knee. He scratched at his jaw and sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Wanted ya' to know I told her." He looked down at the floor, hand running over his mustache, then resting on his jaw.

Your stomach dropped. "Declan-" You groaned, frustrated. Of course he would tell her. You weren't very mad at that, more so at the shame that you'd have to carry as you walked into the dining room, of their home, with their children.

You rubbed your face and took a deep breath. Declan walked over to you, taking your wrists, gently pulling them away from your face. His thumb caressed your hand, drawing small circles.

"It was the right thing to do. If her and I are going to...try, we needed everything out in the open." He met your eyes, lowering himself to your level. "Nothing to do with you darlin'- I promise." He placed a gentle kiss against your knuckles, and pull you close to him, his broad arms enveloping you. And damn you, as much as you tried, you couldn't help but lean into him, taking in his scent, a mix of firewood and bourbon.

A clearing throat made you both jump apart, and you both found Maude leaning against the doorway, a glass of wine already swaying in her hand.

Her pointed eyes made their way over your figure, before she scoffed and turned away. You could feel the heat rush to your cheeks, as Declan called after her, giving you an apologetic look.

About an hour and a half later you were sat next to Taggie and Rupert, making quiet conversation with them as the food was served out. You couldn't bring yourself to make eye contact with either Maude nor Declan, instead opting to push the food around your plate, toying with the hem of your dress.

You glanced around, spotting a bottle of Rosé calling your name. You quickly grabbed it, unscrewing the top and pouring some into your glass. You took a swig, letting it hang in your mouth, cringing at its bitter taste. You remembered a night a few months ago. Declan and you, laying on the wooden floor of your home. The fire had long been burned out, cold air creeping through the cracks in the wallpaper. He laid next to you in the pile of blankets, both of you naked. His chest rose and fell with each deep breath he took, his eyes screwed shut as he slept. You remember running your hand over his cheek, fingers carefully tracing over his jaw. In the moment you'd thought you had all of him. Every grumpy huff as he told you about the network, every smile when he talked about Taggie and Caitlin, and every pleading sigh when you pressed against him. The Rosé you'd drank that night had tasted so much sweeter.

And now you sat here, surrounded by his family and friends–that were also hers. There was no late night dancing in your kitchen, nor was there early morning coffee. But maybe that was the point. You would never be Maude, the daylight, trips to the shops, garden parties, waiting for him behind his office doors. You couldn't be. Not like this.

The thoughts rushed to your head, making you feel queasy, your cheeks warm as you placed the wine glass down a bit too quickly. You abruptly stood up, mumbling an excuse as you pushed away from the table, stumbling to the kitchen.

You brace yourself on the sink, breathing heavily, head spinning slightly.

"Oh poor girl, are you okay?" Maude appeared in the doorway. God this was quite possibly the last thing you needed right now. It was actually your worse nightmare.

You turned around, nodding, steadying yourself. "Yes, of course, I am so sorry Maude. I don't mean to ruin your party." You sigh and smile tightly at her.

She hums and walks over, pressing a hand to your face, feeling your temperature. "I'm sure, please don't worry yourself about it." She takes a sip of her drink, her eyes piercing into you over the edge of her glass. "You certainly weren't worried when you were fucking my husband."

You look away, the air sucked out from your chest in a minute. How does one even respond? Yes, I did fuck him, and it was the best time of my life, or perhaps, I'm in love with him and it kills me that he's choosing you?

You look away, in shame mostly, but also because you can't stand the way her eyes travel down your face, like they're carving into you, trying to make you bleed.

She steps towards you as you gather something to say. "M-Maude, I swear it was never su-" you don't finish before the feeling of lukewarm, heavy wine slips down your front. You gasp, looking down as the red wine splashes down the white dress, the blue flowers now a sad purple.

"What the fuck are ya doing?" Declan's voice rang out from the doorway.

You aren't sure what happens next, as you turn and grab a towel, trying to salvage what you can before the wine seeps any deeper into the threads. Maude and Declan yell at one another, an argument full of pent up anger, dismissal and blame. You stand at the sink, a bit frozen and in shock. Two glasses of wine and suddenly you're starring in your own telenovela. At some point the yelling stops, followed by slamming doors and a silence that's deafening.

You don't wait for them to find you like this, alone and tipsy in the kitchen with wine staining your new dress, nor do you respond when Taggie and Lizzie try to grab your hands as you leave out the front door, jacket hugged around you as you walk down the path from the O'Hara camp, to the lower hills where your small home resides. How stupid of you, to put yourself in a situation laced with so much memory and feelings.

You pushed open your front door, throwing down your bag, leaving the coat in a piled heap and through yourself onto the couch. You didn't want to move, didn't care to take off your heels or even change the dress, without a doubt very much unsavable now.

The minutes ticked by, the only sound your quiet breathing, a sniffle here and there, and the static of your old radio in the kitchen. Then a knock broke the peace, firm but soft. You glanced up, every scenario running through your head, an angry Maude out for more, a peeved Taggie wondering why you left and her parents were in disarray, and worse...Declan, coming to tell you that the distance wasn't large enough. That he needed to leave, or that you should for a new place down the isle. And the worst part is that you would. You move across the world if he wanted.

Another knock came through, and you rose to your feet, standing tall as you could. You opened the door only slightly, peeking out. A light rain had begun to fall, and it framed Declan's figure perfectly. His hair was damp, and his shirt was covered in a few scattered drops, along with some spots of wine.

He looked up, his eyes meeting yours.

"Love I am so fuckin' sorry." He sighed, stepping forward. You put your hand up, stopping him.

"Please Declan, not tonight. I can't handle anymore...shit." You sighed, pressing your hands to your face then wrapping yourself in your arms, desperate to be grounded.

He sighed, nodding. For a moment he turned, almost accepting that defeat. But then he turned back, pressing his hand to the door, pushing it open, standing inches from you.

"A month and a half ago I told you her and I were going to try. That I couldn't keep seeing ya' and that it was for the best." He looks serious as the words spill out. And all you can think about is how he has never looked at you like that. Declan has never focused his eyes on you the way they are right now. Rather, you're used to soft looks, glances that trace you like he is trying to pinpoint ever feature of yours.

Your chest twists, as if the embarrassment wasn't enough, now he's here, degrading you, reminding you of why you were so easy to leave. And worst of all he's being serious, stern, unforgiving. You nod, tears stinging your eyes.

"And darlin'...it was the worst fuckin' mistake of my life." You look up, eyes frantic to find the deception, but all they find is tragic sincerity.

"Because you left that night and do you know what I did? I stood in my kitchen for hours after. I couldn't move swear to you. Maude came home, and she wrapped her arms around me and when her perfume hit me, I felt disappointed, because it wasn't you. I couldn't even close my eyes to pretend it was you I was holding in my arms, because you fill all my senses, my smell, my touch, my taste."

You hardly realize, but he's pushed himself inside, the door shut behind him. You stare up at him, his soft once more, eyes that you've searched for in your waking moments during the last few weeks. Your heart thumps, beating so fast you worry it may decide to stop completely. Declan's hand come to rest on your face, cradling you like you'll break.

"I chose- no, shammed myself into thinking it was her, that all of the bullshit between us could be fixed. But all I could think about was you. That night I laid next to her and I hated myself, for hurting ya', for losing ya'." His other hands presses against your side, grip tight. Not in a possessive way, not like he doesn't want you to leave his sight. This is desperate, a quiet prayer that you hear him, like losing this grip on you is more than losing his physical touch. Like letting go would be your rejection of him.

"I love you. And if I ever lose you again, I'll no point in anything else. I swear it, love." He says it quietly, carefully restricting himself to give you time. His eyes, dark brown, wide, waiting.

You hardly realize it, but the tears have long disappeared. You're filled with something else now, hope or something similar. He loves you, and that's all you care about. Damn be Maude or wine or the weeks spent apart. All that matters now is the way Declan is looking at you and the words falling from his lips.

His lips. You glance at them once, then twice, then slam yourself against him. The kiss is desperate, needy, wanting of one another. It's a mess, his hand travels down to the small of your back, splayed across your center and warm as you find the tufts of hair at the base of his neck.

You both pull away, eyes closed, breath heavier than before. The rain has turned to a larger storm now, lighting shakes the house. Its fitting.

"I love you Declan, so fucking much. Please, don't ever leave me like that again."

"I wouldn't dream of it love."

ϟ.·:¨༺ ♡ ༻¨:·.ϟ

a/n: omggg I have been working on this one for almost a year and a half now! But I finally felt like I owed it a justice to post, and I feel really good about it. I hope you enjoy :)

[undyingdecay]

FARMER'S DAUGHTER; MASTERLIST 

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

summary: a reckless farmer’s daughter gets sent to spend the summer with her father’s oldest friend, bucky barnes — a gruff, solitary man running a quiet farm on the edge of town. what starts as punishment slowly unravels into something heavier, tense, and dangerously complicated.

cws: eventual smut, past and present minor violence, tense father-daughter dynamic, age gap / older man-younger woman dynamic, suggestive conversation, smoking, ocs (READER IS NOT AN OC.), brief homophobia, religious theme's and guilt, parental abuse, domestic violence, alcohol abuse, addiction religious guilt, internalized homophobia, substance use (smoking, drinking), sexuality repression, identity struggles, toxic masculinity, casual intimacy, emotional detachment, emotional neglect, unresolved trauma, family dysfunction, rejection, heartbreak. please be sure to check the content warnings for each chapter.

reader mood board | faith's mood board | luke's mood board | jayson's mood board

TAKE ONE

TAKE TWO

TAKE THREE

TAKE FOUR

TAKE FIVE

TAKE SIX

TAKE SEVEN

TAKE EIGHT

TAKE NINE

FINAL CUT

[sempiternalmuze]

Running Through the Halls of Your Haunted Home

Jack Abbott x doctor!Reader who has some problems being loved

tags: dr. jack abbott x female!reader, hurt comfort, reader runs away for a bit (story takes place when shes back), Robby being Jacks best friend, age/jobs not really established, implied not great childhood for reader, jack loves her ohmygod??, jack would never leave her tbh, a bit more flowery than i'm used to writing so let me know, let me know if i missed anything!

word count: 2.3k

Five months. That was the timeframe Robby had laid out for you when you'd came to him a few days after Christmas, explaining that you needed a break, need time away from the Pitt, the city, the state. He'd been kind enough to not ask too many questions, but you knew he'd hear it sooner than later directly from Jack during one of their therapy sessions.

So three days after Christmas you packed your bag, grabbed your passport, and changed your number. From one day to the next you had gone from Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center to Portel, Brazil with Doctors Without Borders.

And you lived. You took the time you needed to find your peace again, to pick up the pieces that you had left behind in the dusty apartment Jack and you had shared.

But now it was May-- and Robbie was calling your number every few days. And today when you answered he'd sounded at about wit's end.

"Time's up kid, we need you back here." He sighed, and you could almost see his hand running over his face, tired and no doubt thinking about a fourth—fifth—coffee.

You had stayed silent for a moment, playing with the sheet of your hammock. You glanced at the tents set up by the river, kids running around in a game of tag, parents watching from the sides as they spoke to the other doctors on your crew.

"What if I told you I liked it here more? Then what?" You said, glancing back at the water.

Robby lets out a throaty laugh, one that pulls you away and forces you back to the shuffle of the Pitt. "Because if you did, you would've just said that."

It's a valid point— and true. You wouldn't be asking, wouldn't be hoping he'd tell you any different. You probably would have blocked him, sent an email to Gloria and moved on with your life.

"And I also know what you've got waiting." He whispered. And he was right. You wouldn't just leave like that and not tell Jack. The only reason you had been able to do it the first time was because you knew it was temporary, and small fold in the story you two shared.

"How is he?" The weight was heavy on your shoulders, an invisible force that only left in the depths of night and that was if you were tired enough to fall asleep as soon as your head hit your pillow. Jack was strong, and smart. He'd been through so much worse than a girl who was afraid.

"Well...he visits the roof a lot more now. The first few weeks were...well they were real bad kid." He pauses, like considering what would be too much to tell you. "I offered him to come stay with me, get away from the apartment, but he said he liked it. It gave him a reason to hold on."

Reasons to hold, how very Jack Abbott of him. To want to have hope, to find the reasons even though he wasn't sure where any of it would lead.

"He'd doing better now, I don't have to act like a hostage negotiator too much these days. He comes out to the park with us after work and he makes jokes with the new med students. But he misses you, a lot."

You nodded with a hum into the phone. The sun was so peaceful this time of day, it bounced off the water and on to your skin. You let your eyes close and let your mind drift back to those months ago, from even before the fight, to when things were still solid between the two of you.

Walks in the park after a long shift, hands intertwined as he poked fun at you for your decisions during a shift. The nights spent in bed, room slightly too cold because otherwise you'd burn up with his body heat. Even on the days when it was hard, when his active duty days caught up to him, there was still something to have, because he'd let you hold him, let himself talk and talk about the people and the days of roughing it, of the bad things he saw, of the pain of a leg that was no longer attached to his physical being.

"Kid, I gotta let Gloria know by tonight. Are you back?" Robby's voice broke through the speaker with a crack of static.

"Of course I am Robby."

Now you were running through the airport, hair a mess, sanity hardly in tact. Cassie had been kind enough to come grab you after dropping off Harrison with Chad for the weekend. Today and tomorrow would be your days to get settled, then straight back to it on Monday.

"I've missed you so much!" She squealed, arms wrapped around your center tightly. "You have no idea how much it sucks to have to take on that waiting room with myself and Javadi." She laughs.

"Oh I bet, what would you ever do without me?" You laughed. You held her tight before you both crawled into the car. She started the engine, waving off some security yelling at her and took off.

"How was it?" She asks, face covered in excitement.

"It was amazing Cassie. The people, the pace, the location, all of it was just-perfect." You sigh and throw your head back. "I think it was exactly what I needed."

"That's great." She says. Her tone tells you that there's something else, something on her mind that she isn't saying out loud.

It takes about three minutes of uncomfortable silence and a red traffic light for her to turn to you. "Have you talked to him?"

Cassie was one of about four people who definitely knew what was going on between you and Jack, one of a few who knew lengths you'd go for one another. Her tone is soft, prodding but not overstepping.

"No, Cass I...I didn't want to do anything that might...I don't know, hurt more than it already would?" You sighed. You covered your face with your hands. "I felt horrible, for taking off on him the way I did. But I just...I knew that he'd make me stay."

Cass nods along, listening. She takes your hands in hers, holding it softly over the center console. She doesn't push or try to interject her own thoughts about the whole thing into your mind. She knows you well enough to know that no decision you made came lightly, that it took hours and hours of thought and careful planning.

The light turns green and the car starts moving again. "You don't have to go back so soon. You can stay with Harrison and I if you want to." Cass offers, a small glint in her eyes.

You take a moment to consider before looking out the window. "I need to go back Cass. To my home, to my stuff. I need to go back to him. I ran once but I'm ready. I finally feel ready to face what we left behind." You smile, hands gripping the door handle a bit too tight.

Cass nods and hums. "Just know I'm there. If you need me."

And that's what the conversation is left at. Fifteen minutes later your left staring at your building. Cass offered to go upstairs with you, but you'd elected to face it all yourself.

There were two options that stood in front of you. One, Jack was home, asleep, getting ready to head to bed and face another grueling night shift. The blackout curtains would be drawn and the apartment quiet. Would the floorboards remember your steps or creak under the unfamiliar weight of your long lost body? Maybe they would, and then they'd wake him, and you'd have to explain the last five months of your life to him while he was half asleep.

The other option was simple, he wasn't home, maybe getting groceries before he inevitably came home to crash out on the couch. It had irked you so much when you first started dating. The way he'd get off a few hours before you and offer to do the shopping, just for you to come home and find him asleep in the most neck sore position possible, jacket barely off, jeans twisted too tightly across his legs. But eventually it became a comfort, the way you could rouse him and make him follow you to bed, where you'd help him take off his prosthetic, rip off his scrubs in return for a clean shirt and pj pants. Or sometimes when you were both so tired after a rough day you could snuggle yourself between his arms, him hardly waking up, but still opening his strong arms so you could press against his chest.

And you find yourself hoping it can be like those distant couch sleeps. That he'll be there, asleep on the couch, and you can just lay with him, head pressed against his chest, snuggled right below his chin as his fingers splay over the middle of your back, gripping you as to not let you disappear again.

So when you turn your key into the lock, you take a deep breath. With the click sounding, you push the door open. You roll your suitcase in first, setting it to the side. Then you pause, listening. There's silence, and for a moment you think you're safe. The buzz of the AC when it clicks on startles you, but not as much as the man standing before you.

Jack stands near the couch, hand holding on to it, like he might fall over. He wears a tight black tee, some washed jeans and his tennis shoes. When you finally meet his eyes you see something, a glint of pain? Maybe sadness, maybe shock. His hair is slightly longer along the sides, his facial hair a bit more clean shaven than the stubble you had last seen him in. He doesn't move, neither do you. Its like the saddest cowboy stand off you've ever witnessed.

The click of the door behind you finally breaks the silence. You take a step forward, placing your keys down on the entry table. You can't tear your eyes from his. You wish you could read his face, know where to start on the long list of apologies and begging of forgiveness.

"I know you probably hate me. I know you maybe wish I would have never come back. And I know when I left we were in a bad position, a position that I never wanted to be at with you." Jack opens his mouth to say something, but you're quick to silence him with a raise of your hand.

"But I'm here. I'm here because I love you. Because I never wanted to leave in the first place. And you are the first stable thing I've had in my life since med school." A sudden hiccup burst from you, followed by tears. You couldn't stop it. In an instant your face was crumpled, warm, tears spilling from your eyes.

"Sweetheart..." Jack mutters, marching towards you until his arms swaddled your frame, arms pressing tight around your ribs, fingers grasping at your hair. His face pressed deeply against the crown of your head, and his chest pressed perfectly against your ear until you could hear the thumping of his heart.

"Jack Abbott you— God you fucking took my life and put it back together in ways I didnt think possible. You showed me that I could be loved. I was worthy of love and attention."

You pulled away, Jack's arms still resting across your waist, fingers digging in, as though fully releasing you would mean you walking out the front door forever this time.

"And I ran. I ran because I was so fucking scared that you'd wake up and decide that I wasn't worthy, that you didn't need to be here. And I wouldn't be able to handle that." You glanced at him, and while your vision remained slightly blurred, you found that he was already looking back at you. For a moment you thought pity might be the thing coursing through his dark eyes, but you realized it wasn't even close. It was more like concern, fear.

"I picked that fight because I thought it was the only way to get you to leave. But you didn't. You refused to leave, to give in. And that made me mad." You laugh, wiping your face. Jack cracks a smile, followed by a small chuckle of his own.

"You made me mad because instead of doing what everyone else has done, you planted your feet. And that made me the most scared." You said, staring down at the ground. Jack gave you a moment to collect yourself, and when it seemed your breathing had finally calmed a bit, he took your hands in his, fingers intertwining with his own, his calloused palms pushing against yours.

"I planted my feet because I knew exactly what you were doing." He says, soft, speaking more into your hair than into the open space around you two.

"It was a stupid battle, and you're not stupid, so of course I knew what you were doing. Because I know you, sweetheart." he chuckles a little, the sound vibrating in his throat. "And more importantly, I planted my feet because I wanted to stay. You have never ever been anything short of the most beautiful, loving, smartest, strongest woman in my life. You are the best thing I've had in years." He sighed, his hand lefts yours as it moved up your arm, until it fell onto your jaw, guiding your eyes to his.

"And you put me back together. And I love you for that." He finishes. Neither of you two move, letting each others words swell around your embrace.

Your eyes drop to his lips, soft and kind. He doesn't hesitate, pulling you against him, letting your lips grace each others for the first time in months. You sigh, pressing your body against his. He holds you close as you two drink each other in.

Eventually he pulls away, rests his forehead against yours.

"I've missed you."

ϟ.·:¨༺ ♡ ༻¨:·.ϟ

[sempiternalmuze]

Is anyone else having Jack Abbott as a cowboy thoughts or is that just me

there is a story brewing in my drafts

[sempiternalmuze]

And we go on.

dr abbott x third year resident who feels with her whole soul. late night chinese takeout is how they connect

tags: dr. jack abbott x female!reader, jack calls reader kid ONE TIME, more off a slice of life deal we've got going on here, reader probs has anxiety ngl, full scope of relationship never really established, just kind of implied, jack abbott please save me pookie, reader loses patient, probably medical inaccuracy (sorry pitt and greys you raised me better), first fic in five minutes but I NEED this man, no use of y/n, female reader

enjoy and let me know <3

ϟ.·:¨༺ ♡ ༻¨:·.ϟ

"That's enough. Clock out. Now." Robby whispered, firmness and anger dripping from his tone.

You looked up at him, jaw clenched as you pushed around him, past Dana despite her best attempts to reach you, and straight to the elevator. You practically punched the fading 4 and waited for the doors to close. When they met in the middle you slid down the wall, breathing heavy.

Head pounding, fingers flexing as you recounted every step you'd taken on the patient. It should've been easy. Bag them, push the meds, step back. But something happened. She coded, her heart refused to cooperate. Robby had walked in, and that's when your head started spinning because god forbid you lose a patient in front of him. He'd told you to stop compressions five minutes ago. It wasn't fair.

The elevator stopped, you stood up, entering one of the empty rooms. This part of the hospital was empty, and the beds were heavenly after a shitshow in the Pitt. You sat, took down your hair. You glanced at your hands. They were shaking. A sob escaped you, a quiet, strangled sound that you fought hard to keep down.

The patient had been in her sixties, she was frail for her age. It probably wasn't your fault, but that didn't mean you weren't going to take it to heart. She had a life, a family. She woke up this morning, and now she was dead.

The tears had long run out. The AC was turning off and on, the buzz kept you awake. Your shift was over, but you didn't really want to go home. A buzz lit up your phone. You grabbed it, the text message bright as day.

Come downstairs, from Jack. You sighed, stood up and went back to the elevator.

When the doors opened, there he was. Dark washed out jeans, a tight blue tee, curls a bit disheveled.

"Robby called me." He barely had time to finish the sentence before you were pressed against him, arms holding tightly around his neck, as you breathed him in.

He didn't say anything, his arms wrapping around you, strong hands rubbing up and down your back. His head rested on yours, letting you take your time, regain your peace.

"Wanna get some Chinese?" You laughed and looked up at him, his soft eyes already looking down at you. You nodded. He presses the basement button, and the elevator moves. You two stand side by side, fingers brushing softly as the hum of the fluorescent lights sing around you.

You elect to grab your things during your next shift and soon enough you and Jack are off, walking in a hushed silence with the promise of orange chicken awaiting you.

At the restaurant (which is so courteous to be open late for the hospital workers or the loud college kids) Jack pays, much to your protests ("During my third year I could barely pay rent, you're not paying for your dinner") and you two sit in a booth in the back.

The food comes, the zesty warmth like a hug on what has been a shit day. After a few bites Jack pushes his white rice to the side and reaches across the table to you, his hand quick to find your own, fingers rubbing tiny shapes across the back of your palm.

"What happened out there today kid?"

Kid. It was such an arbitrary nickname that he'd assigned you when you two had first met. It made you feel small, like he didn't see anything past your age, past the gap of years between the two of you.

"I couldn't help her." Was all you could muster, barely looking up at him.

"No, you couldn't. She threw a clot. There wasn't anything anyone could do at that point. Not Robby, not me...not you sweetie." He leaned closer, his hand traveling to your arm now, pressing thumb into your forearm.

"You couldn't save her, but you've still got your pulse. You carry on. I'm not saying you should move on, I'm the last one to be giving out that advice." He smiles. And when Jack smiles you have to look, because its almost rare, almost a foreign action from him. So you look, and he catches your eyes, and you can't look away.

"I know you love with everything in your heart. I know you feel it all, its part of why I love you so damn much. But this work—and its work you are damn good at—you gotta pack it and set it on the curb."

You nod. His words have such power, they're so calculated but genuine. Never has Jack made you feel like your problems were small and stupid, or that you needed to get over it. But he did make sure you knew that you had to pack it up and move on to the next.

"How else are we supposed to live? We don't have to remember the reason, we just have to know its there." He'd told you after the fourth date.

You and Jack pack up the rest of the food, lunch for the next shift. He walks you home, he comes inside. Its quiet, the way you two interact. He doesn't push you, you don't need to thank him, because you both know where the line is, where the other person's head is at, and its so perfectly meshed for you both.

Its 10:43 pm when you crawl into bed, Jack laying beside you.

"You don't have to stay." You whisper.

"I know." Is all he whispers back, pulling you so your head rests against his bare chest, his arm hugging you close against his body. The night takes over, and you tangle your body with his.

And your head quiets.

ϟ.·:¨༺ ♡ ༻¨:·.ϟ

a/n: lol posting for the first time in MONTHS and I hope this is enjoyable. if you liked please like/reblog, it helps so much. give me feedback, I felt like I could see this "oc" coming together in my head and i'm wondering if I should make some sort of series from it. lots of love - muze

[sempiternalmuze]

Just finished the pitt and I'm having UNHEALTHY thoughts about Dr Jack Abbott

[sempiternalmuze]

smoking cigarettes on the roof

Druig x Makkari x Reader

description: a short blurb of reader and Druig having a sweet moment on the rooftops. honestly I wrote this in my journal and decided I wanted to have it here...enjoy :)

word count: 495

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: . . :☆ﾟ. ─── ➶ ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: . . :☆ﾟ. ───

Makkari would tell you to put it out, to stomp it into the ground below your feet.

"We don't know how these will affect us! You're just polluting your body, or maybe something worse and you don't even know it!" She'd angrily sign.

Smiling back, you would sign to her, "You worry too much darling. You've been saying that for nearly three thousand years now."

But not Druig. He didn't like the use of impure substances either but he understood the need for something imperfect in your life. Something that wasn't written in the stars for you to fulfill. He only wished you did it less, and farther away from the house.

"Darling..." You sighed, keeping your eyes shut as you accepted the sun's rays against your skin. The roof shook a bit as he made his way to the roof, the careful dance of his steps sounding closer until he stood over you.

The cigarette was removed from between your lips and taken between his own. You looked towards him in time to see the grimace run across his face as he inhaled, before flicking it over to the ground below.

"That was my last one." You sighed, annoyed but not upset.

"Good." He smiled at you. "Why are you up here alone, love?"

"It's quiet. I love our dear Makkari but I didn't want to argue about the cigarettes again, and I know the smoke bothers her." I bit my lip.

He offered a hum in response. You returned to your sunbathing, redirecting a small breeze to hit you. There was a slight shuffle from him, and you turned to face where he'd be.

This time you were met with Druigs grey eyes as they stared down at you with an intensity you'd come to love these past centuries. It was as if he was reading past the surface, trying to see the deeper picture.

"You're interrupting my alone time, which I never get when you two are around."

"Mm..." He smiled. "How come you don't want any time with me?"

You laughed at the pout he gave. "So dramatic.." You lifted yourself to your elbows refusing to break his cryptic eye contact. He pushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear, tracing your cheek with his lingering hand. He was so soft and gentle with you and Makkari. So much so that it almost drove you insane sometimes.

You gave no hesitation as you placed a hand on his neck, pulling him into a kiss. It was slow, soft, delicate. You pulled away, looking between his eyes and his lips, desperate for more.

"Dinner's ready." You groaned, rolling off the roof, landing on the softened ground below. Druig followed, slipping his soft hand into yours.

Makkari was waiting at the door, arms crossed.

"What am I? Chopped liver?" She signed.

"Of course not baby! You're the cherry on top." You wrapped your arms around her, peppering kisses all over her face.

･ ｡ﾟ☆: . . :☆ﾟ ･ ｡ﾟ☆: . . :☆ﾟ ･ ｡ﾟ☆: . . :☆ﾟ ･ ｡ﾟ☆: . . :☆ﾟ

[sempiternalmuze]

Hi!! First and foremost, I love your writing!! Don’t know if you’re still up for requests, but I was wondering if you’d be able to do an Eddie x reader where they’re kind of going through a rough patch and she writes silver springs about him? She pitches it to the band for the album and billy is reluctant but everyone agrees bc it’s good. No one knows who the song is about except for Eddie. (Years later they all laugh about it) And then she performs it to him on tour like Stevie nicks did. Super angsty and everyone is like wtf is happening. Ends with fluff!! Somehow lol. I’ve been listening to way too much Fleetwood Mac. Thank you so much!!!

So. Its been approximately...14 months since I wrote. But I was reading my drafts and realized I never posted this one. And I kind of really like it. So take this as a early holiday gift, and enjoy. reblogs and hearts are always appreciated :) - alex

Silver Springs

eddie roundtree/loving x f!reader

description: req! - word count: 2.7k

The hotel room next to yours was so loud. You couldn't keep your eyes closed for more than a few minutes. There was a sudden bang against the wall against the head of your bed. You groaned, sitting up and turning your table lamp on. Eddie was still missing, likely in the other room.

You sighed, head sitting in your hands, arms resting against your knees. It had been getting hard for you, going up each night and performing to a new crowd, just to return to the hotel room and have to wait another two hours for your boyfriend to return to your shared room. And you didn't want to be that girlfriend, the one who was clingy, never wanted him to have fun with the rock lifestyle. And it wouldn't be an issue, if it wasn't for the way he pulled away from you in front of others, the way he had begun avoiding your kisses and compliments.

It left you confused for the moments when he'd kiss you, the way his arms snaked around your body as you two slept, or the way that he place his hand against yours when you and the band sat on the bus.

The door to your room shook, pushed open and allow a disheveled Eddie to waltz in, hand empty beer bottle in his hand. He smiled when he saw you sat up in bed, crawling to your side, hand quick to wipe your hair away from your face, light kisses following suite.

"Hey angel, what're you doing up?" He sighed, attempting to rest his head against your shoulder. You pulled away quickly, standing up from the bed, and walking away.

Eddie felt a pang in his chest, like something hit him deep inside. You stood at the foot of the bed, pacing, trying to carefully put together your thoughts.

"I have a question." Was all that you could muster out before a tears teased at your eyes.

Eddie moved himself to the edge, guiding you by your elbows to face him, standing between his legs. "Anything. What's wrong?" he asked, his hands grasped softly at your chemise dress, fingers travelling between the folds.

You looked to him, face painted in worry and confusion. "Do you love me?"

His eyes met yours, gaze painted with intense questioning. "Why are you even asking me that? Of course, I do."

"Then say it." You whispered.

Silence. Nothing filled the room but the bumps of the other room, and the breathing between you and your lover. He didn't move. His eyes searched rapidly, looking for what, you couldn't tell. You pulled away, taking a step back, his grasp hardly attempting to keep you nearby.

"I think you should go. I'm gonna...I need time." You stared at the ground, eyes tracing the shapes of the carpet. You wouldn't do this front of him. You would not cry, or yell, about any of it. Not now. When his eyes were red and wild, his breath layered with a mask of whiskey and vodka.

Eddie stood up. He rubbed his face, silent. He didn't mean to be. He wanted so desperately to say those three words back to you. To wrap his arms around you and kiss you as long as you'd let him. But he found himself caught, the words like knives scratching against his throat.

He took his leave, grabbing the jacket you'd bought him a few months ago, the first tour stop in Reno, Nevada.

It had caught your eye because of the color of the leather, a dark navy that reflected the light of the shop nicely. Combing the shelf until you found one is his size you picked it up, smoothing the shape over with your hand.

When you climbed on the tour bus Eddie had locked himself in the room farthest back. You knocked, the package wrapped nicely, hidden behind your figure. When he opened it a smile crawled slyly onto his face, arms wrapping around you and pulling you flush against him. He spun you around, closing and relocking the door behind him.

"I missed you," He whispered, head buried in the crook of your neck.

You smiled, pushing him back, sitting on the edge of the bed. "We were together all morning, I've been gone for what, two hours?" You giggled, pulling the package from around you, holding it up to him.

He smiled, hands wrapping around the paper wrapping. He sat next to you, fingers careful to untie the string bow. He pulled the jacket out, fingers digging into the skin of it, eyes twinkling.

"For me, honey?" You nodded, smiling brightly, quite proud of yourself. Eddie wasn't one to show deeper emotions, to get excited for an unexpected gift. You liked doing little things for him like this, it was nice to see him light up.

"Aw baby, I love it. Thank you." He wrapped his arm around your waist, placing a soft kiss at your temple.

Things had seemed so simple, so much warmer and brighter. So why had it changed? He was tender and soft with you, kept you close. And now he couldn't even look you in the eyes as you threw him out.

That night you tossed and turned, unable to decide if you should let tears flow or screams out.

You couldn't sleep tossing and turning over once again to face the patio doors. The moon was bright that night, lighting up your room, reflecting off the pool. You took a deep breath, thinking against the soft sheets, words beginning to form in your mind. You sat up, turning up your lamp, pulling your tattered journal from the drawer.

The next morning you were up bright and early. You did your hair, your makeup, putting up your best jeans. You strode out of the hotel with confidence, making your way down to the studio. No doubt the only ones that would be there would be Billy and Camilla, maybe a sudden appearance from Warren. You could only hope Eddie would be too hungover to show up.

When you pushed the door open you caught a glimpse of Camilla, foot tapping to the beat the Warren and Graham were hammering out. You smiled, walking over to her. She saw you, immediately stretching her arms out to you, pulling you into a tight hug.

"How're you doin sweetie?" She whispered, taking your hands into her own.

"I'm okay. I just wish things were different. Or that I could read his mind."

"Don't we all." She laughed. "Billy's in the back. I don't think Eddie's coming in till about three."

You nodded, making your way through the back doors and beelining straight to the tall Dunne brother.

"I have a song and I want to record it."

He glanced up, his fingers resting against the guitar neck. "What?"

"I wrote something last night, and I want to record it, and put it on the album."

"Thats not how that works. Daisy and I already have songs figured out." Warren, Graham, and Karen walked over. Karen wrapped an arm around you, taking the book from your hands. She turned to the mark page, tapping her foot along to the few notes you'd scratched over the page.

"Billy, this is pretty good. I love it." She smiled, handing the books off to the three boys, each taking their time reading the words.

"Didn't know you had all this in you." Warren laughed.

"Well either way, Eddie and Daisy won't be back until later, so it's not like we're going to get anything done today anyway." Billy smiled, standing up.

"Let her record it baby!" The intercom squealed out. All of you turned to the window, a grinning Camilla giving a thumbs up. You turned back to Billy, eyes pleading with him.

He looked down at you, jaw clenched. "Alright," he sighed. "But we're not using more than two hours on this!"

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

The next night was a show. You sat on the bus, playing with the loose strings the hung from your blue shawl. Your skirt had long been picked clean of its bedazzlements, and your anxiety was through the roof. Eddie and you had managed to avoid one another for the last two days, but now he sat across from you, taking turns staring at his hands then back at the floor of the tour bus. Not a word shared between you.

When Teddy called everyone off you rushed away, sticking close to Daisy's side, thanking her for letting you take the last show of the night. She giggled, squeezing your hand.

"Not a problem. Show him what he's missing." She winked, bumping her hips against yours.

The set played amazing. the crowd was electric, full of life, singing the words back to Billy and Daisy.

Billy finished the ending of 'Please' then turned to you. You nodded, placing your guitar in its stand.

"Alright ladies and gentlemen, you guys have an extra special performance tonight." The crowd cheered loudly; your ear's ringing as you removed your earpiece. "Tonight, you'll be hearing from someone a little different. Give it up!" He screamed into the mic, doing a dramatic wave with his hand towards you.

The crowd cheered louder as you got closer to the mic. You smiled and waved, giving a small bow towards them.

"Hey everyone! Alright so I asked Billy if I could sing this little song I wrote. It's called 'Silver Springs', something new for you all." You laughed, the crowed giving you another round of applause and claps.

"I hope you all enjoy this one as much as I do." You smiled. From behind your figure, you could feel Eddie's gaze. Eddie was shocked, caught off guard as you riled up the crowd. He smiled but was quick to look down.

He'd been beating himself up for the past two days, sitting, reflecting on the way he'd hurt you. He wanted so desperately to tell you he loved you back. And he did, truly, from the bottom of his heart. Since the day he'd seen you in the crowd at The Six's second show, and you'd let him buy you a drink. Part of him wanted to blame it on the way he had seen his own parents live, one ignoring the other at all times. Another thought was because of the way he had lived life with Camilla, unable to have her until it was too late.

But that wasn't fair to you. Not when you had treated him like the only boy in the world. The nights where you'd hold him close, let him breathe you in, wrap your fingers around his own, squeeze his hand before a night on stage. And for two days he wrestled with his head, until he finally realized: there was no justification. He had to take the lead, say sorry, and tell you exactly what he felt.

Karen started the soft melody of your song, taking the time to get the beat just right. No one had told Eddie anything about the song, when he showed up to the studio Billy handed him his music and told him to play. So he knew what to do. But he had no idea what you had planned.

The others joined in, taking their parts in stride. You took a deep breath, tapping your foot to the beat, letting the words fall out, just as you had practiced.

"You could be my silver spring, blue green colors flashing...

I would be your only dream, your shining autumn, ocean crashing..."

You carried on, taking the time to breath and calm yourself at the moments when it felt like you were choking on nothing. You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, not yet, despite feeling the eyes drilling into you to your left.

Until you reached the chorus. You gripped the microphone, removing it from the stand and turned to your left. He was watching you, the wind blowing against his hair so gently, eyes watching your movements, his hands gripping his guitar, his knees jerking to the beat of the music.

"Time cast a spell on you, but you won't forget me..." Eddie's face twisted, he glanced away for a moment, looking back to the others, before he turned back to you.

You took a step, then another, drifting towards him, "I know I could've loved you, but you would not let me..."

The band took up the rest of the backup vocals, as you sang along, leaning towards Eddie. You couldn't help it. And he did the same to you, playing the chords of his guitar, fingers aching as you sang, your hair flying crazy in the wind. The crowd cheered, and band looked at one another, confused, slowly clicking the pieces into place.

"Oh, was I such a fool?" You shook your head, pulling back, turning back to the crowd as your voice broke. You recovered, "I'll follow you down 'til the sound of my voice can haunt you..."

The song fizzled out, the crowd cheering and clapping as you pulled away from the microphone, breathing heavily. A hand came to your shoulder, and you flipped around to find Daisy, smiling, he eyes searching your face.

You nodded, assuring her that you were okay, and she took the mic, announcing your name as the crowd went wild. You walked off the stage, not wanting to stick around for much longer. You tore off your ear piece, handing it to stage crew, then ran out to the tour bus. The crowd was so loud that the bus's walls hardly blocked them out. You went to the farthest cabin, shutting the door. Your make up was running no doubt, your hands were still shaking.

A soft knock pulled you back down to Earth. "I'm fine Camilla, really." You wiped your face, rolling your eyes at the smudged sparkles that decorated your hand.

"It's me." You stopped. Now you wished it was Camilla. "Please open the door baby." The voice was muffled, but it was undeniable. You swallowed your pride.

You opened the door, looking up at the man that stood on the other side. His eyes were wild, his breathing hard. He looked down at you. His hand reached up to your cheek, calloused fingers wiping it clean. You leaned into his touch, eyes fluttering shut as you took in his heat.

"I'm so sorry-" His voice cracked, and you opened your eyes to find him tearing up, his eyes softer. He feel to his knees, hands gripping your hips, fingers bunching up your skirt. His head pressed against your middle, and you couldn't help by run your fingers through his hair, shaggy golden brown strands shaking as he let out small sniffles. He looked up at you then, his eyes red, pleading and desperate.

"I love you. I love you with everything that I am and everything I hope to be. I would give it all up tomorrow, or work myself to death for you, you would only need to say that words." He stood up then, his hands reaching for your face, holding you softly. "I'm an idiot. I don't know why I couldn't say it before, but I will spend everyday making up for it, for the rest of time, if you let me."

You smiled, a soft one, that barely crinkled your eyes. "You are an idiot." He broke a smile at that one, laughing as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling your body flush against his own.

"I'm so sorry baby." He said again, quieter this time, whispering so only you could hear it. Because you hearing it was all that mattered to him.

You nodded. "I love you Eddie. And I want us to work. I want my life with you. But I need more. I want your hands all over me, everywhere we go. I want you to run off stage and for you to let me kiss you even when your groupies are hanging over the whole tour bus." He chuckled, his chest vibrating against yours.

"Those groupies don't mean shit. Not when I've got the prettiest girl in the room." He smiled crookedly, leaning down to catch your lips in a delicate kiss, breathing you in.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

[jonquilandlace]

[sempiternalmuze]

Hi all!! I'm so sorry for how long its been since I last posted anything here. I did not want to let this account just sit and collect dust, but that is what I have been doing.

These last two months have been crazy, seeing as I graduated, moved to another state, and have been trying to get settled in my college classes. There are currently two Eddie Roundtree requests which I am trying to my hardest to get done (sorry if you're one of the lovely people that has requested one) and some other works that have been sitting in my drafts. forgive my absence, but I please know I haven't forgotten you. <3 Lots of love !!

= alex (sempiternal muze)

[sempiternalmuze]

Hi, I saw you are open for Eddie Roundtree requests, so here's my idea.

So reader is an actress or actor and they basically meet at an event and just have a one nightstand and Eddie just gets fond of them and asks them on a date.

Hope I'm not bothering you with this

kiss you fool!

eddie roundtree/loving x f!reader

description: req!

word count: 1.5k

warning(s): none

a/n: hi! sorry this took so long to respond to, but pls its no bother at all!! I actually had a lot of fun thinking about this one and rewrote it a few times. And I ALMOST wrote smut but I decided it would be better suited for another time. Please enjoy and remember, reboots and likes help <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: . . :☆ﾟ. ─── ➶ ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: . . :☆ﾟ. ───

The music that was blasting throughout the house was disorienting on its own, but mixed with a few lines, too many beers, and the aftermath of a sold out show at the bar downtown, Eddie was starting to feel the effects of it all as he stumbled through the living room.

Bodies were pressed up against one another, the air in the room was lacking, despite every door and window in the house being open. The Six had opened their home up to the limited music scene they had made connections with, an attempt to get their name out there, as well as an excuse to drink and party.

Eddie smiled lazily as he found his way onto the couch, sitting in the middle of it, head thrown back. His hair was a mess, the mix of sweat and alcohol only made the pounding in his chest faster.

He felt the couch next to him sink in, looking over he found you. Your hair was up, away from your face, a drink in your hand that made the rings scattered around your fingers shine as you lifted the cup to your lips.

Eddie was a bit dazed by you if he was being honest. The way the low lighting of the house played against your makeup, the way you looked around the party, eyes scanning for something - or someone - made him curious.

"How did a pretty thing like yourself stumble in here?" Eddie shouted, the music almost enough to drown him out.

You looked over at him. His eyes were shiny, glazed. He was high, and his sudden words had caught you off guard. But you recognized him instantly. He was the bassist of one of Teddy's bands. You'd only seen them once or twice in the studio, and had spoken to Billy a handful of times, but you were too busy trying to find your own way in the fame scene.

You gave him a small smile, not wanting to judge too quickly about the powder around his nose.

"The front door was open, and I figured that the rock stars would have something fun to drink." He let out a laugh, nodding his head, wiping his nose clean with his sleeve.

"Yeah, we wanted to welcome the community into our home. I'm in a band you know?"

You nodded, playing along, pretending you could have no possible clue who he was.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, you know we're nothing special yet, just working on an album right now but I mean…I am pretty good if I say so myself." He held a hand up, playing up on his sarcasm and faux chilled nature.

You rolled your eyes, taking another swig of your drink, shaking your head, "Who are you signed with?"

Eddie sat up at this question, more surprised that that was the first question you asked him, rather than what band he was in.

"With um, Runner Records, specifically we're working with Teddy Price. He," Eddie could feel the high drifting away from him, his mind trying to focus on the conversation you two were working your way on, "He's the only one that thought we might have a chance. Why do you ask?" He asked, unsure if the words he was saying even made sense.

“I know Teddy. He’s a sweetheart, he’s been trying to help me get my own thing out here. I’m acting.” You smiled, placing the empty cup back on the table.

He stuck his hand towards you, "It's nice to meet you. I’m Eddie."

You took his invitation, shaking his hand. The party goers came and went, people leaving to their own homes and apartments, or finding somewhere to sleep in the house itself.

Eventually you found yourself and Eddie alone, the music nothing but a lazy guitar coming from the porch. Eddie had told you about his childhood, how he had become quick friends with Graham, and moved out to LA as much as it broke his heart to leave behind his family. You told him about how you had packed it all up one day, found Teddy, and got lucky. You both found that note similar between you two, both of you felt that you had been more lucky than likely deserved. He was a hard ass who wished he had more power over his sound, you were always trying to find the best path for yourself and your career.

Eventually you two found yourselves bumping shoulders, leaning into one another.

"I should get going." You whispered. You were looking down at his hand which sat resting against your leg, rubbing soft circles against your knee. He was so gentle, which threw you for a loop considering the absolute asshole he could be at a moment's notice. But he had been nothing but sweet, and inviting.

“Why don’t you stay the night?” He asked, looking down at your face. Eddie was starting to feel something deep in his chest. The drinks and the drugs were long gone, replaced by something he felt was much stronger. He felt relaxed, which was hard to do in a house filled with 20 somethings that were up on drugs, drinks, and energy.

You returned the glance, smiling coyly. “You asking me to spend the night? Haven't even bought me dinner yet.” Your eyes traveled down to his lips, unable to resist the way they turned into a coy smile.

He laughed but it didn’t deter him. His hand moved past your knee, sliding his fingers gently across your thigh, your breath caught as his lips lingered closer to your neck, whispering, “I’ll do anything you want.”

Within a moment something changed, and eventually you and Eddie were tripping over the solo cups and discarded decorations, forcing your way into any room that was yet to be occupied until you eventually found one. It was quiet and in an area in the far back of the house that you were sure that no one wouldn’t stumble upon you two.

You pulled away for a moment catching your breath as Eddie leaned his head next to you on the door. He stared down at you, his eyes tracing over your lips, down to your neck. His fingers run softly against your sides, toying with the hem of your shirt until his fingers hooked themselves in your jeans loops, pulling you closer to him.

“You're so pretty sweetheart.” He mumbled.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: . . :☆ﾟ. ─── ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: . . :☆ﾟ. ───

The next morning came bright and loud, with the banging of pans and drums. You shifted, letting out a low groan at the disturbances, rolling over until you stopped, feeling the chest of a warm body next to your own.

Your eyes shot open to find a sleeping Eddie, resting gently against the pillow, hair a mess and covering his face in a way that just perfectly captured his jaw and eyes. You couldn’t help but stare at him for a moment, the way that his eyebrow was frozen in a pointed way that made you question if he was actually sleeping or anticipating your next move. His lips parted slightly, and a soft beauty mark rested just above it.

A knock at the door brought you back to your senses, someone calling to Eddie that he had to get up for a meeting in the city. You took that as your cue, collecting your garments from the floor, redressing yourself as quietly as you could.

Or you thought, until you felt two strong arms wrap themselves around your waist, then a scruffy face leaning against your shoulder.

“Good morning sweetheart. Did you sleep well?” He asks, his morning voice making you smile. He lays a soft kiss against your shoulder, sending chills down your body. You almost want to try to encourage a part two of the night before but elect to take your leave, not wanting to be the kind that tries to hang out after what could be seen as a one night stand.

“I’ve gotta head out. I’m sure I’ve missed a few calls by now.” You turn, facing him. He looks even better awake, staring back at you with a soft pout. You lean down, tracing his jawline with your fingers, pulling him in for a soft kiss.

You smile, whispering a small, “Bye Eddie.”

You stand, ready to do a walk of shame through the house, until his fingers wrap around your wrist, gently.

“Wait” He says, “I’ll walk you out.”

Eddies gets dressed, then the two of you walk out of his room, to the front door. There’s a few people scattered around the living room. The two girls smile, giving you a wave that you return. Eddie opens the front door, arm wrapped loosely around your waist.

Your turn to face him, smiling as you try to find the right words to say.

But he speaks first. “Please tell me I can see you again.” He says. It's almost a question, almost a soft begging from him.

“Don’t worry, I think you will.” You giggle, grabbing your bag strap nervously.

“Could I take you out to dinner?” He smiles, lifting his eyebrow, meeting your eyes with his soft brown ones.

You roll your eyes, grabbing the collar of his shirt, pulling him into another much more chaste kiss. You pull away, hand resting against his chest.

“Is that answer enough?” He nods, a dumbfounded look on his face. “Eddie, relax, I can feel your heart beating.”

[sempiternalmuze]

Hey, love your work :) Maybe you could write something for Eddie along the lines of him having a crush on the reader, but thinking the reader and Graham are in a relationship bc they are so close, but the reader also has a huge crush on Eddie and they have some sort of fight or talk, where they realise they both have a crush on each other :)

Heartstrings

eddie roundtree/loving x f!reader

description: req!

word count: 1.4k

warning(s): none

a/n: yesyesyes! Thank you so much by the way, I try :,). I've never written something like this before, so give me a chance here. Some slight deviations from the story we know and love. Thank you for the prompt <3 sorry it took like 5 months to get it done!!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: . . :☆ﾟ. ─── ➶ ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: . . :☆ﾟ. ───

Graham’s arm wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you against him as you lounged on the couch together, whispering like you usually did. You whispered something to him, making him laugh so loud that Eddie could hardly keep pretending to focus on the TV set. He rolled his eyes, readjusting himself on the love seat as he tried to drown out the laughter of you and Graham.

“You know, there’s rooms all over this house you two could go to if you need some time alone.” Warren laughed, teasing the two before sliding himself down next to Eddie, pushing his legs off.

Eddie couldn’t help but glare at him, rubbing at his temple. A few hours ago he had felt so good, so refreshed when you came walking through the door, bags in hand for a two week visit from upper Cali. Eddie had been home with Warren, watching some sitcom, bored out of his mind. When he saw you standing in the doorway he almost knocked you over by how quickly he wrapped his arms around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“God, I’ve missed you.” He sighed, pulling away enough to look you right in the eye.

You couldn’t help but look away in an attempt to hide the heat rising in your cheeks. You smiled, taking in the way his fingers pushed against you, the way he carried this glint in his eye that you swore he held only for you. “Could say the same for you.”

Warren entered the room with open arms asking where his hug was. You placed a hand on Eddie’s cheek before pulling away to give Warren a much more casual hug. You’d spend a few hours with the two, mostly answering questions asked about what you had been up to, if you’d been booked lately, how long you would be around. Then the Dunne brothers had arrived and Graham had all but scooped you off the couch, the two of you laughing and quick to fall into step in order to catch up on everything you’d missed while being away. 

So now Eddie was stomping around the house like some big kid, making his annoyance known. And you picked up on it, watching from your peripheral as he paced around the kitchen, picking at the leftovers in the counter and cold beers in the fridge.

Graham leaned over to you, poking at your shoulder before whispering another joke into your ear that made you giggle.

“I’m going for a smoke.” Eddie muttered, slamming the fridge shut and walking out to the balcony. You bit your lip as he walked out, contemplating if you could go join him.

You went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer. Warren waltzed in and grabbed a box of cereal, pouring a bit into his hand and giving you a goofy smile.

“Hey, need help?” He pointed at the bottle in your hands which you handed to him gladly, glancing out the back door to Eddie who was leaning against the railing, the cigarette glowing a soft red against the low light.

“He’s had the biggest crush on you forever y’know?” Warren laughed, popping the lid of the bottle and returning back to his cereal.

You whipped your head around to look at Warren, eyes wide. “What?”

You asked, trying to figure out if you may have been hearing things. Warren was high, that's why he was eating cereal out of his hand and giggling like a mad man.

“Dude, you’ve never wondered why he always looks like a ray of sunshine everytime you come around? Or why is he the first one to get up and hug you like it’s the last time he’ll do it?” Warren shook his head, grinning. “That’s not just because he wants to.” Warren walked away, leaving you to consider what he told you.

One one hand, he was high, and giggly with or without the leaf. On the other hand, there was something about the way Eddie held you, the way he kept you near him even if some model or groupie had her arm slung around him.

Eddie looked back, quickly straightened up when he saw you coming through the door, smiling softly when you leaned against him. The two of you remained silent until you plucked the cigarette out of his hand, taking a hit of it before stomping it out under your foot.

“Those things will kill you, you know?” You asked, looking up at him. He smiled down at you and motioned towards the beer.

“You aren’t doing much better, how long do you think casting directors will let you get away with the drinking?” He teased, referring to the booked shoots you had told him and Warren about.

Your smile faltered a bit, something he was quick to pick up on. “What’s wrong love?”

“Oh Eddie,” you teared up but quickly wiped them away and bit your lip to try and deter the tears, “I haven’t gotten booked in months. My mom’s threatening to send my brothers to come get me, doesn’t want me to be up here anymore, not if I’m not working.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed as he hesitated to wrap his arms around you. You leaned against him, tears still rolling softly. His hands ran themselves against your hair, doing his best to comfort you. “Does Graham know?”

You nodded a yes. “It doesn’t matter. He thinks it would be good for me to see my family for a bit, and maybe stay there. I was never made for the California lifestyle like you guys.”

Eddie scoffed, shaking his head. He pulled away from you, walking back towards the balcony. “Well that’s a shitty thing. Why would he encourage you to go back? Doesn’t he love you enough to try and keep you here, help you anyway he can?”

“You guys have so much going on with the band- I mean you’re on the brink of hitting it big, I don’t wanna be a bother either.”

“No.” Eddie walked back to you, gently taking your arms into his hands as he held you softly. “You could never be a bother okay? Not to me, never. I-” He hesitated, choosing his next words carefully. “I’d do anything to have you stay by my side. Anything.”

Your breath hitched. For a second you forgot that you and Eddie weren’t alone. You forgot that a few feet away your friends sat drinking and smoking and that the balcony wasn’t your own oasis to share with the boy you were sure you had loved since you were 16, the first time he performed on a stage that wasn’t set up in someone’s backyard and there had been something more than just a passion for the music.

“Eddie…I really like you.” You smiled, watching his face for any kind of reaction.

His eyebrows furrowed and he stepped back slightly. How could you say that? How could you admit that you had feelings when your boyfriend was sitting feet away from the two of you. “What about Graham?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed.

You follow suit, looking back at the house then back at Eddie. “Why do you keep asking about him?”

Eddie stayed silent, a blush rising to his face as he pushed his hair out of his face, looking out towards the city. “I thought the two of you were going steady.”

You stood there not really sure how to react. You wanted to laugh, ask him if that’s why he’d been so sour the minute the Dunne’s had arrived. But the more overwhelming sense in you wanted to grab him and kiss him, show him that you and Graham had never been anything but best friends and that he’d been the one you thought about late at night. Eddie was the one that you had dreams and hopes for, more so than the boys you’d known since birth.

And so you did. Before you even knew it you captured Eddie’s lips against your own, your hand resting gently against his cheek as his hands found their way against the small of your back. And he smiled. He smiled against your lips like he was the happiest man in the world. When you both pulled away you looked up at him but his eyes remained closed.

“What’s wrong?” “Just scared I’ll open them and it’ll be a dream.”

You laughed, hitting against his chest softly. “Why didn’t you say anything?” “Was worried about losing you.”

“Hey”, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. He looked down at you, his arms finding their way around your body, like it was the most natural thing to him. “Not one person is more important to me than you.”

[sempiternalmuze]

The lack of Eddie Roundtree/Loving fics on here is a CRIME!! If anyone sends me ideas and such I will be MORE THAN WILLING to turn that into a story. I need it. We all need it. I am so in love with him.

As a fan of the book and hater of the show, I have a lot of ideas that are all just me projecting.