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[senjuushi]

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[senjuushi]

[senjuushi]

How would F, Kirsch, L2, and Ninety react to a master that has a boyfriend and pays more attention to the boyfriend than the guns?👀

F

At first, he’s very worried that he’ll be “free use” for your boyfriend too. When that turns out not to be the case, F relaxes a little... right up until the next issue arises. He’s used to making himself useful through sexual use— and worse, his way of seeking attention is through flirting and innuendo. Not being able to do that leaves F floundering. He’s simultaneously confused as to why you’re not using him, scared of being ignored or unwanted, and grateful that he’s not being hurt. 

Kirsch

Oh, he’s jealous. Viciously, furiously jealous. Kirsch is accustomed to his use being found in sexual forms, and if you don’t do things like that, and especially if you neglect him, he gets extremely envious. He’ll vie for your attention in every way possible. If he thinks he can get away with it, Kirsch will even scheme to try to get you to break up with your boyfriend just so you’ll have more time for him. He plays innocent when he’s around you, but he’s seething with jealousy on the inside. 

Like2

If you’re paying more attention to your boyfriend than you are to him, Like2 is seething and frustrated. And we all know how well it goes when Like2 is frustrated. He gets testy and irritable because he feels neglected, and that’s likely to just get him in trouble. The sense of being unwanted both makes him nervous and is the worst thing he can imagine. Like2 will seek out your attention in whatever way he can, even though he knows it’s kind of useless. It’s obvious that he’s not the important one. 

Ninety

Honestly, he’s just disappointed. It’s not bad that you have a boyfriend... but he is kind of sad that he gets ignored so often. Ninety tries not to let himself care. He’s a gun and a dog, not a person, so it makes sense that you’d choose one of them over him. Whenever you give him affection, he’ll happily soak it up, but when you’re preoccupied with your boyfriend... Ninety just stays out of the way and despondently hopes that you’ll have more time for him later. He just has to be patient, right?

[senjuushi]

Noble Musketeer Story: Baker

Episode 8: A New Self

One evening, as (Player Name) was spending time in their room, there was a knock at the door. 

Baker: Master, are you still up? Could I have a moment? 

Master: 

Of course. 

Come in.

Baker: Thank you. Pardon the intrusion. 

Master: 

What’s up? 

Can’t sleep? 

Baker: No... nothing in particular happened. It’s just, the other day while we were cleaning out the storagehouse, I found these... and I thought we could maybe listen to them together.

Baker took out a stack of records. 

(Player Name) tries setting up the record on top of the pile into the record player in the room. 

Master: 

It’s classical music. 

What a beautiful song. 

Baker: Yeah... it’s magnificent and beautiful. 

Once they’re done listening to one record, they switch to the next, going through a variety of songs. 

The records Baker brought seemed to include a number of genres, such as classical, chansons, opera, and jazz. 

Master: 

Do you like music? 

Baker: I wonder... I think that I do. 

Baker: The other day... when I was shopping in town, I heard music coming from one of the shops. 

Baker: I stopped there for a while just to listen to it. 

Baker: I think... my heart must have been drawn to it.

Master: 

What kind of song was it? 

What kind of music do you like? 

Baker: What I heard in that shop was... a lively song with a somewhat fast tempo, I think. 

Master: 

Well then, what about this one? 

You might like this one too.

(Player Name) chose an upbeat jazz record. As cheerful and lively jazz music began to play, Baker moved along to the rhythm. 

Baker: Yeah, this one is nice. I like it.

Master: 

Yay! 

You’re getting excited!

Baker: Yeah...!

The two move their bodies to the music, and attempt to dance with on-the-spot choreography.

Baker: Haha, this is fun.

—after getting through all of the songs, they sit down for a break.

Baker: Master... thank you for today. I’m really having fun.

Baker: ...since coming to the hideout with you, I’m discovering more and more about myself. Every day, I learn something new. 

Baker: It’s all... thanks to you and everyone else.

Baker: Master, the one who saved me... I’m grateful to you. From the bottom of my heart. 

Baker: —(Player Name), my Master. 

Baker kneels down and takes (Player Name)’s hand.

Baker: I swear on the pride of the 95th Infantry Regiment, I will protect you, no matter what.

Baker: Let’s defeat Tolle Schaff. Absolutely— with our own strength.

Master: 

Yeah! 

Absolutely!

Baker: Yeah!

[senjuushi]

people who own guns will see an inanimate object and say is anyone going to starve that thing

FR YEAH

I am sooo glad that it happens (because sweet, sweet angst), but these POOR WEAPONS. Everyone is so mean to them all the time. :(

[senjuushi]

Noble Musketeer Story: Baker

Episode 7: Whatever You Eat...

One afternoon, in the hideout’s dining room, Baker was silently eating his lunch.

Baker: ......

Baker: Delicious... The person who made this must have been a genius, right...?

Tabatiere: Haha, Baker-kun, it’s awfully nice to see you gobble up anything I give you, and always leave a clean plate behind.

Baker: Today... it was Cobb salad and Genovese pasta, right? Both were absolutely delicious. 

Baker: The grilled chicken and onion soup from the other day were tasty too. So was the gelatin dessert.

Cutlery: ...on that note, can’t you be any more specific than just saying that everything is “delicious”? 

Tabatiere: Hahaha, it’s fine. “Delicious” is plenty high praise!

Tabatiere: Chassepot and Gras don’t usually tell me that, even if something is. However, they have plenty to say when they want something to be improved. 

Cutlery: I don’t know what to tell you about that... 

Tabatiere: Well, I know what they mean, so it’s all good. 

Tabatiere: Baker-kun, do you have any favorite foods? If you have any requests, I’d be happy to make them. 

Baker: Favorite foods, huh... 

Cutlery: Isn’t there some meal you liked that you’d have often? 

Baker: Something I often ate... well... When I was with Kathariste, I mostly ate canned food and rations. 

Cutlery: Huh... 

Baker: Since I would have to be re-summoned and repaired all the time, I was given the bare minimum of food to sustain my human form. 

Cutlery: Th-That’s... 

Tabatiere: Baker-kun... I’ll be sure to make you all kinds of delicious food from now on...! 

—After hearing about Baker’s miserable past, the other Musketeers began giving him their own recommended foods. 

Murata: Here, have a sweet potato. Enjoy this soft and crumbly treat. 

Baker: ...! Sweet...! I never knew that potatoes could be this delicious...!

Hachikyu: Hey, wanna try some ramen? We don’t have the premium kind of uncooked noodles here, but there are these cup noodles I have stocked up... 

Baker: Wow... you can make such a fine meal just by adding hot water!? Amazing... revolutionary... 

Cutlery: ...here, you can try some of this chocolate. It’s from my favorite shop. Don’t just scarf it down, savor it properly. 

Baker: Sweet... and it smells so good. Chocolate... this is the first time I’ve ever eaten it. It’s delicious. 

Cutlery: Th-The first time...!? Then, I’ll give you a different flavor next time.

Baker: Really? 

Since Baker would eat anything and say it was delicious, the Musketeers kept giving him their favorite foods. 

[senjuushi]

lol I know you said Chassepot was just as bad as Gras and just hid it better, but I’ve been subconsciously thinking of him as less of a disaster anyway…

Yep no they are JUST alike I can admit when I’m wrong 😂 good on Baker for shaming them into being helpful. I love him

They're both horrible little brats with envy issues <3 One of them is just a lot better at shoving his feelings down instead of having publicly visible meltdowns when the inner pain gets to be too much.

[senjuushi]

Noble Musketeer Story: Baker

Episode 6: Unsullied Pride

One day, at Dreyse and Herme’s request, nine of the Musketeers who were free decided to clean the hideout’s storagehouse.

Ghost: Whoa... it’s dusty in here... 

Siegblut: This place is... damn, it’s awful dusty over here too.

Herme: All the more reason why it needs to be cleaned in here.

Dreyse: First, we need to do something about the dust... Organization can come after that. 

Gras: Hey, now... you can’t expect me to go in a place like this.

Chassepot: Ugh... I feel like I’m about to sneeze. There’s an itchy feeling creeping up my skin, too... 

Tabatiere: Come on, you two aren’t going to run away, I hope?

Baker: ...what are we standing around for? Let’s hurry up and get to work.

Chassepot & Gras: Huh...?

Baker fearlessly enters the room’s dusty, mildewy, stuffy air. 

Chassepot: You... I would have thought you’re the type who’d despise this kind of thing. 

Gras: You’re really okay with that precious coat getting dirty?

Baker: I don’t mind. My coat may become dirty, but my pride will remain unstained.

Baker: Now, let’s get this done before the sun sets. 

Chassepot & Gras: Y-Yeah... 

The Musketeers split up the work and started cleaning. 

Baker: Hm... this stain doesn’t want to budge. 

Siegblut: Try this. It’s the special detergent we use. It has baking soda in it, which makes it easier to get dirt out of things.

Ghost: For mold stains... ethanol at the end works well. After cleaning, you have to disinfect everything... 

Baker: I see. Thank you, that’s helpful.

Baker: Wow... you’re right, the stains are coming out much easier now. This is amazing...!

Enfield: Yes, this corner is looking much better now! 

Baker: Great job, Enfield. The result is undeniably flawless. 

Enfield: Hehe, I’m used to cleaning Sir George’s room, you see! This work is no problem at all. Truly! 

Enfield: Whoa, there’s so much dust in back... Snider, could you please help me move this? 

Snider: ......

Enfield: Snider! Don’t walk away! 

Baker: Hey, you’re not going to do something as disgraceful as run from the battlefield, are you!? Help Enfield. 

Snider: Tch... You’re both obnoxious. 

Tabatiere: ...ugh, *cough*...!

Chassepot & Gras: Uwaahh!!

Baker: What is it!? 

Tabatiere: This crate... it looks like it’s been left here for quite a while with some fruit or vegetables in it... It’s all rotten and mushy, and there are a bunch of bugs around it. 

Herme: This is... quite bad.

Enfield: H-How should we go about cleaning this up...? 

All: ......

All: ......

All: ......

Baker: ...I’ll overcome this challenge. First, the crate needs to go! 

Baker rolled up his sleeves, took a deep breath, held it, and picked up the crate with both arms held as far out from his body as possible. He began to walk slowly, careful not to let the dripping liquid get on his feet. 

Enfield: He’s taking it...!? 

Ghost: Wow... 

Baker: There! 

Dreyse: What a wonderful attitude. A willingness to tackle dirty tasks... truly admirable.

Gras: I thought he was some nasty, stuck-up elite, and yet... 

Chassepot: It looks like we might need to change our opinion of him...

[senjuushi]

Noble Musketeer Story: Baker

Episode 5: High-Five

Kyoudou: ...alright, (Player Name) and everyone else are here.

Baker: Yeah. Tell me the mission, already.

Kyoudou: As you can tell by who’s here... this mission requires sniping skills.

Kyoudou: The enemy is vigilant and fast, and if you miss a shot, there’s a risk of harm to the citizens in the area, so we must engage carefully.

Kentucky: No problem! A sniper’s motto is one shot, one kill! I’ll never let my prey get away.

Marks: Well then, what kind of enemy are we after? 

Kyoudou: A wild boar.

All 4: ...huh?

Kyoudou: It seems that the nearby villages have been seeing significant damage from a wild boar that’s devouring crops and trampling their fields.

Kyoudou: It’s threatening their livelihood to the point that the villagers are at their wits’ end... so please, use your power to exterminate it.

Pennsylvania: Understood. Once we bring it down, we’ll have to make something tasty out of it.

Kentucky: I’m the one who will bring it down! Master, just watch! I’ll hit the mark in perfect form!

Master: 

Good luck! 

Let’s all do our best!

The five members of the wild boar hunting team quickly got ready and headed out for the village where the boar had been said to appear.

*scene changes to outdoors*

Baker: We’ll be in combat units, I suppose.

Master: 

Baker, you’ll come with me.

Since this is your first mission, I’ll be your support.

Baker: Alright. I don’t particularly need it, but since I’m still not familiar with everything here, I’ll take the help.

Marks: Ngh...! I’m the one who should be working by Master’s side...!

Kentucky: Damn it~~! I’ll have this done in five minutes!!

Pennsylvania: Let’s do our best.

Baker and (Player Name) pair up, while Marks, Kentucky, and Pennsylvania split up to patrol the area around the fields where the boar is said to appear.

Baker: You’re a sniper, aren’t you, Master? This is the first time I’ve worked with you on this kind of assignment.

Master: 

I’m not just a sniper. I’m a spotter too.

I think I’ll be a spotter this time.

Baker: Spottter? 

Master: 

A sniper’s assistant.

Baker: Huh, so that’s what it is.

Baker: ...hm? There are spots where the soil’s been dug up here. Perhaps it’s a sign that a boar was here, looking for food.

Master: 

Look! There are tracks, too.

There are tracks in the mud.

Baker: There are...! Judging by the direction of the tracks, it looks like the boar was heading this way. Let’s go. 

Baker: ...oh, there are tracks over here too!

Master: 

This is fun!

This is getting exciting.

Baker: Hm... I guess it is. I’m glad I get to work as a sniper like this. It feels like I can be my proper self again.

Baker: ...! I hear something. Shhh. 

Baker: There it is. 

(Player Name) looks where Baker is pointing. There, the wild boar was laying waste to a field. (Player Name) relays information while looking through a night vision scope.

Baker: Distance approximately 100 meters, with a light breeze. Understood.

Master: 

It hasn’t noticed us yet.

No movement right now.

Baker: Alright, I’ll take it down now, while we have the chance.

After taking a deep breath, Baker readies his gun. He lightly places his finger on the trigger— and pulls. 

Immediately after the gunshot, (Player Name) watches the boar crash to the ground.

Master: 

Direct hit! 

Baker: Yes! Mission complete.

Baker: ......? Master, why are you raising your hand? 

Master: 

It’s a high-five.

We do this to celebrate everything going well.

Baker: I see. Well, then... 

The sound of a high five echoed quietly in the night.

[ashenmind]

“Living weapon” covers a lot and all of it is hot

[ashenmind]

[mishkakagehishka]

@senjuushi

[senjuushi]

Excellent tag, thank you. >:3c

[senjuushi]

that ask about ninety being a child really made me think, what are your personal hcs about how old each of the guns look? I know they don’t have ages, but most of them look pretty young to me, even though I feel like guns like ninety and belga probably look younger while I always imagine gras as an old man for some reason heheh

Obligatory disclaimer that gunboy physical ages are a guessing game at best. There would be no way to pin that down for sure, and it's not especially relevant to creatures that don't age like humans do.

Teenager. Baby. Just a little guy. — Belga, Ninety, Kirsch, Mauser, Karl, Cutlery

Young adult. Less than 21-ish — Ghost, 89, Like2, Parume, Muku, Like Two, Arisaka, Springfield, Hachikyu, Snider, George, Kentucky, Charleville, Lorenz

20s. Average, normal, unremarkable — F, Mikhael, Hokusai, Love1, Marks, Siegblut, Gras, Benetta, Carcanore, Enfield, Baker, Pennsylvania, Chassepot, Squelette

30s or older. Can be teased for being "old" — Eins, Fal, Herme, Murata, Tabatiere, Jitte, Dreyse

[senjuushi]

I was thinking about memory au Murata and he gives me vibes like he'd kinda try "herding" Arisaka and Master, if that makes sense. Like he want to stash them both somewhere safe or at least keep an eye on them, but can't really because Master has their own responsibilities (very unfortunate)

Murata is very doggie coded to me

Indeed, he's very protective <3

Arisaka and Master are both so, so precious to him. It's not his fault he wants to see you both safe and close, where he can stay by your side and protect you. When you're both trusting and relying on him, he feels so much more secure knowing that you're safe.

Surely, you don't have to attend to all of those responsibilities, do you? You can take a little bit of a break? Just for a while, with him—

[senjuushi]

gun religion more like the cult of the master? they might not believe in god but they believe that who ever holds their gun is the most important person in the world, and thats close enough

So true <3

[senjuushi]

Mauser's face tattoo😢 It looks like a tear drop, that's really sad.

And we know the reason for it now!

Supposedly, that mark formed because Mauser was so deeply distraught over the events of the original game's ending (aka, Ashley's defeat and the fall of the WE) that it manifested a physical representation on his body. Painful, huh? :)

[senjuushi]

about religions: there's a card story where Kentucky wears a cross around his neck and says he kisses it / bites it before making a shot (since he's a sniper), but on his actual artwork his necklace has a star and not a cross. make of that what you will?

Fascinating. Sounds like they're aiming for Vibes again. XD

[senjuushi]

About the guns having religions - I'm pretty sure that Mahmut has praying listed as one of his hobbies

A fandom expert on the old game weighed in on this one, and yes, you are correct! Based on his background, it seems the implication would be either that he's Muslim, or at least connected enough to the idea of that faith to pray, in the first place.

Again, though, I think that canon is going more for "vague vibes" than gunboys actually having personal religious faith.

[senjuushi]

if you are considering suggestions… i MUST see insane giant eins turned into a cute house pet in Things Like Us… I feel like the situation would fit marks super well too!!

Suggestions noted!