Sensei Barry

I'm Barry, but you can call me Sensei. I serve up truths about life, love, zombies, jazz drumming, gluten, the new Ford Escape and a girl named Skylar. You'll find out all about her and me on this blog and on YouTube: I should also mention, in a smaller font, that I’m not real. I am a fictional character whose thoughts and opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of the Ford Motor Company or any other company, person, place, thing or animal.

[senseibarry]

[senseibarry]

[senseibarry]

[senseibarry]

NAVIGATION, SHOW HER THE WAY.

Some people are searching for a destination, others, their destiny. Here's to hoping that the available navigation system in the new Escape guides Skylar back to me.

See if Skylar finds her way back.

[senseibarry]

AN ODE TO SKYLAR

This is a dose of pure, raw, gluten-free me – reaching out to a friend I dearly miss.

[senseibarry]

MORE THAN JUST A MEME MACHINE.

I started my own meme machine, first so that people like you would have the opportunity to post hilarious words on photos – photos that I hold near and dear to my heart – and second because I thought that maybe if it goes viral Skylar will notice it and call me and we'll be, like, BFFs again or something.

Create your meme on Barry's Meme Machine.

[senseibarry]

HOW MANY MILES TO WIN BACK HER HEART?

The distance between me and Skylar right now is almost greater than the distance the new Escape can travel on a single tank of gas ... That's a lot of miles to go to win back her heart.

*When I say, "High MPG," in the image above, I mean 33 mpg (EPA-estimated 23 city/33 hwy/26 combined mpg, 1.6L I-4 EcoBoost automatic FWD). When I say "a lot of miles to go to win back her heart," I mean that Skylar won't return my calls.

[senseibarry]

WHERE DO YOU FIND A CLEAN BULLETIN BOARD IN THIS TOWN?

It's tough enough to find a trustworthy roommate in L.A., but when all of the bulletin boards seem to be taken up by uninspired grade school projects or ripped up flyers from going-nowhere bands what does a person do? If you know anyone, I just need a temporary place to stay until I work out this business with a certain Hollywood wardrobe designer. 

Watch what happened between me and Skylar.

[senseibarry]

"YESTERDEAD" POSTER #03 of 03

Today is Halloween. Enjoy it, because none of us knows what yesterday holds.

[senseibarry]

"YESTERDEAD" POSTER #02 of 03

If you thought tomorrow was scary, you were wrong.

[senseibarry]

"YESTERDEAD" POSTER #01 of 03

How do you sell a zombie movie? Posters. This is the first of three I'll be releasing on my blog and showing to the Hollywood types to try to convince them to invest in my script, "Yesterdead." It's about zombies who can go back in time, but only one day. You can read it if you want your mind blown to hell.

[senseibarry]

Visit Original Link

SOOTHE JAZZ

If there is a civil war going on in my stomach, you know, north vs. south, nothing soothes me more than my Calming Beats – especially when heard through the available Audio System from Sony® in the new Escape. Ch-ch-ch-check out this track, exclusive to my blog readers.

[senseibarry]

HAVE YOU SEEN SKYLAR?

When last I left her, Skylar was in the Ford Escape trying to outrun some guys who were shooting at us. I'm just trying to find out if she made it out alive or whatever because she is not answering her phone and we could really use some things around the house.

Watch how I outsmarted the guys with guns.

[senseibarry]

GLUTEN PRANKS? NOT FUNNY.

I enjoy stand-up comedians. I think they’re funny. I’ve also attended several live tapings of situational comedies and have been recorded as part of the laugh tracks, because I think they’re funny. I think talking reptiles are hilarious. But people who serve pizza and tell you it is gluten-free when really it is not – not so amusing.

[senseibarry]

FILM SCHOOL DORKS – THE NEW CURE FOR INSOMNIA

Having trouble sleeping? Try listening to banal drug dialogue delivered by the nephews of TV executives. Puts me right out.

[senseibarry]

IT'S ALL ABOUT KINETICS.

The all-new Escape has what they call kinetic design. That means it looks like it's moving even when it's not. My friend Skylar, on the other hand, is what I would call kinetically-challenged. She looks like she's moving but in reality her life seems to be going nowhere. Skylar and I will be working on the set of a student film next week – not exactly what I would call a career on the up and up.

[senseibarry]

ANY FOLLOWERS OUT THERE KNOW A LAWYER?

I am in need of a lawyer who is willing to do some pro-bono work or maybe arrange a barter deal where we could exchange representation for some “Yesterdead” (my zombie movie) paraphernalia? You see, I kind of had this incident, a spat you might call it, with this teenager and he’s sort of a celebrity. It ended with his head in a toilet. Anyway, I was wondering if you think there might be any repercussions as a result of said incident? Call me.