Judging fancy Oscars people until I collapse, part The End: Dregs and Stragglers Edition
This is the last one, I promise. Onward towards the breach.
Giancarlo Esposito
The brooch is nice. Such is the low bar of men's fashion.
Sterling K. Brown
The brooch is too tiny and gets lost in the white. What's the point?
Rachel Zegler
What a boring, boring dress. She is such a pretty person. Why does she dress herself like this?
Queen Latifah
There are some fit issues, but it's a fun color and jewelry is lovely.
Connie Nielsen
This pale mauve was not meant for white people, not even the very tan ones. The turquoise necklace is very pretty but doesn't match.
Lily-Rose Depp
Like Rachel Zegler, the queen of having all the advantages and then doing nothing with it sartorially. The dress is hideous.
Monica Barbaro
The skirt is very pretty, but the bodice looks like a bikini top and has nothing to do with the skirt.
Rita Wilson
She looks comfortable? I'm sure this was a very expensive dress, but it looks too casual for the Oscars. She looks like she could be on vacation in Hawaii.
Ben Stiller
Go get a bowtie.
Annabelle Wallis
Oh look, there's still hope left for humanity. The color is so dreamy I can't even be mean. The Greek goddess design has been done a million times, but it looks good and my goodness the color.
Mary Yeager and John Lithgow
JOHN LITHGOW FOR SHAME. This is the Oscars. Get a suit that fits. You can afford it. She looks like she's a lot of fun to hang out with.
Jon M. Chu
I can't be mean about this. He looks great.
Ava DuVernay
I can't be mean about this either! The architectural rigidity of the dress is gorgeous. Those sleeves are drama.
Denis Villeneuve
Black on black on black. So boring.
Bruna Marquezine
LAST ONE. I love the gauzy elegance of the bodice, but the skirt is an afterthought.
HAPPY OSCARS Y'ALL. I saw almost none of the stuff nominated, so I don't care who wins so long as it's not that annoying Bob Dylan biopic (sorry Timee).













