Evelyn

She/Her

[deadbeatmaker]

My favorite banned terms on this site are "suicide prevention" and "safe sex"

[breadcunt]

Fuck nasty and kill yourself inmediately after

[dagny-hashtaggart-deactivated20]

Salmon male grindset

[bitcoitus]

Please remember that almost everyone around you is traumatized. I didn’t understand this when I was younger. I wondered why people acted so strangely and irrationally. Maybe all children wonder this. The author Robert Anton Wilson said (paraphrasing), “We have never seen a completely sane adult human.” No one makes it out of this life alive. It’s not their fault. Mercy, kindness, forgiving — these are what makes one human. They are other names for love. People break in the strangest of ways.

[bitcoitus]

“Under the present brutal and primitive conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. we have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief. we have never seen a totally sane human being." — Robert Anton Wilson

[what-even-is-thiss]

I like the idea in fantasy that humans are better at maintaining things long term because they set up societies or professions to do it whereas dwarves and elves and stuff are like “just get bob to do it he’s got a good few hundred years left” and then bob doesn’t teach anyone else how to do it

[what-even-is-thiss]

Elf: How have you kept this castle maintained for a thousand years if your lives are so short?

Human: We just train new people how to do it?

Elf: *gears visibly turning in their head*

Human: Are you alright?

Elf: I just realized that we didn’t have to let that whole city fall to ruin just because my grandfather died.

Human: What?

[what-even-is-thiss]

Human: Wait that’s why there’s ruins of elven cities even though you live for so long? You just keep not asking people how to do things? How do you learn anything?

Elf: There’s a lot of “you’ve got time to figure it out on your own” attitudes floating around in our society that I’m starting to question somewhat.

[unassimilatedsoul]

Elf: That sword, where did you get it?

Human: My cousin made it.

Elf: Impossible! Those metalworking techniques were lost a hundred years ago!

Human: What do you mean lost? My great-grandmother learned to make these swords from an elven smith, then taught it to her kids.

Elf: That's ridiculous. No elf would give such secrets to a human.

Human: They didn't. Meemaw delivered the metal to the forge, and no one kicked her out when she stayed and watched. She always said they barely acknowledged her even when doing business with her, like she wasn't worth noticing.

Elf: Come to think of it, my great-uncle always was rather single-minded when he started working.

Human: So he wasn't ignoring her, he just forgot she was there?

Elf: Oh, he was definitely ignoring her, too. He was super racist.

[realtransfacts]

Respect they/them pronouns 🌈🏳️‍⚧️

[thottistani-deactivated20220220]

No gay has all 5:

- A job

- Good relationship with father

- Neurotypical brain

- Ability to top

- Driver’s license

[garbage-empress]

this is a fun post because people will say how many they have in the tags then you get to figure out which ones.

[philcollinsenjoyer]

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

[infectiouspiss]

blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

[thegenderdruid]

blowjob? more like job blows! #employed

[tiktoks-i-enjoyed]

[ivy-saurs]

randomly remembered this tweet and had to stop myself from bursting out laughing

[zizicat]

[laterovaries-deactivated2017022]

This will always be my favorite gifset. Ever.

[onceuponamirror]

im morally obligated to reblog this every time i see it

[holylulusworld]

It’s back on my dash. 😂

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gentle reminder that if u feel hungry soon after eating, it might be bc you’re eating mostly carbs without adding enough protein. try eating a handful of nuts or smthing alongside your next meal.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

and you don’t have to change the recipe or anything! you can eat what you were going to, just add some cheese cubes or a handful of nuts or salami slices on the side. u don’t have to change your meals, just add a little extra protein

[kreature-ofthenight]

thats nice but what do I need to do If I wake up around 3 am every other night with an unquenchable hunger for flesh even tho I ate normal balanced meals trough the day?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

spoonful of peanut butter

[trustworthymedicaladvice]

another way to manage the undying hunger for flesh is to eat 15-20 live crickets. their souls are weaker than most other animals that size but they are easy to get a hold of and have the best flavor

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this checks out!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

a few people have commented that sometimes heartburn gets mistaken for hunger. I’d never heard that before. If you regularly feel hungry after eating certain types of foods (and adding protein/fat doesn’t help) maybe try chewing an antacid. the digestive tract is dark sorcery basically. an ancient worm coiled in your body whose impish mischief u must appease

[theconcealedweapon]

[997]

this bitch is so iconic fr

[thewickerking]

day one after changing sheets: ok im gonna kick my bad habits i won't eat in bed or leave knives or scissors or lighters in bed I'll have only normal bed things in my bed and I'll change the sheets more often too

day two after changing sheets: oh yeah this half eaten bundt cake is sleeping with me tonight

[felipeiv]

[anxietyproblem]

[captain-price-returns]