SentientSapphic

[sentientsapphic]

Brain Thoughts™

Okay, I’m 100% sure my brain is secretly plotting against me. Like, it’s in there doing weird stuff, firing neurons like it’s throwing a rave and I’m just the confused guest. I think my prefrontal cortex is actively trying to make me cry over grocery store receipts, and my hippocampus is hiding all the important memories like, “Nope, you don’t need to remember that one, have fun with this random song stuck in your head instead.”

Who’s in charge here?? Am I the brain or is the brain me?? Help. Send brain juice. Or a lobotomy. Whatever works.

[sentientsapphic]

The Time I Accidentally Came Out at Book Club

So, this is going to be one of those stories where I wish I could just pretend it didn’t happen, but unfortunately, I have zero chill, and it was just too perfect for me to ignore.

Okay, so picture this: I’m at my weekly book club meeting. It's a small, casual group of people, mostly friends and acquaintances, just chatting about whatever book we’ve all been assigned to read. We’re all sitting in a circle in someone’s living room, talking about the latest YA fantasy novel (you know, the usual).

Now, I’m not the most talkative person in the group. I usually hang back, nod along, and give my opinions when I feel like it. But this particular week? I had thoughts. (Like, really strong thoughts. Specifically about the character who was, and I quote, "unexpectedly" gay, but it was literally the entire plot twist of the book, and I was ready to talk about it.)

So, we’re all discussing the book’s “big reveal” when I get a little too passionate. Without thinking, I blurt out, “Yeah, I kind of knew the love interest was going to be gay, honestly. I mean, come on. The way he kept looking at the other guy? So obvious. I would totally fall for someone like him.”

And, you know, silence. Complete silence.

I looked around, expecting people to be nodding along or maybe just acknowledging my opinion like normal people. But no.

One of the members, Sarah, leans forward with this very confused look on her face and goes, “Wait, so you’re saying you like the character because he’s gay? That’s a weird reason to like someone...”

I just blinked at her. “No, no! That’s not what I meant—what I meant was, if I were the character, I would totally fall for him. I—uh, you know, if I were straight, which I’m not. So…"

And then it hit me. Oh no.

Aaaaand cue the awkward realization that I may or may not have accidentally come out to the entire book club.

Like, there was no going back now. My face was a full-on shade of tomato as I tried to backtrack, but my friend Lauren (who knows full well I’m gay) decided to throw some gasoline on the fire. She smiles and says, “Yeah, we know. It’s pretty obvious. She’s just trying to act like she’s not crushing on every fictional girl in these books.”

Everyone turns to look at me.

The silence that followed was so thick I could cut it with a knife. Then, finally, Sarah looks at me with wide eyes and goes, “Wait... are you actually into girls?”

I swear, time slowed down. I looked at her. Then I looked at Lauren, who was fighting to hold in her laughter.

At this point, I was like, screw it. “Yeah. Yes. I’m gay. Happy now?”

And Lauren just goes, “You’ve literally been dropping hints for months,” and everyone else just stares.

I think the best part was how everyone acted like they didn’t know what to say for the next five minutes. It was like I had told them I was secretly a time traveler from the future or something equally shocking.

Finally, Sarah just nods and says, “Well, I guess that explains why you were so into the female lead's character development."

And I, naturally, facepalm and mutter, “Yeah, I really need to stop making everything weird."

The rest of the meeting? Just an awkward mix of “Oh, cool” and “Good for you,” and me trying to pretend my face wasn’t on fire.

Moral of the story: book club is a terrible place to accidentally come out. Just stick to discussing character arcs and avoid romantic subplots unless you want to get way too honest.