wtf bangtan

the bullshit bts would have probably said

[seok-jesus]

life advice with yoongi

yoongi: maybe if you sucked dick the same way you suck the fun out of shit, you’d still have a man. til’ next time, folks

[seok-jesus]

I just read your whole blog instead of sleeping and I have no regrets

You da best 💓🥂

I DO HOPE MY POSTS OFFER A LITTLE BIT OF HAPPINESS TO EVERYONE. I’m glad that you found them amusing, thank you so much. 😭

[seok-jesus]

yoongi: if the apocalypse happened right now, i would just pass away. why do people in movies always have so much will to live?

[seok-jesus]

jungkook: if you’re short, you were born from pre-cum

jimin: what the fuck is that suppose to mean

jungkook: don’t try to argue with me, half-nut

[seok-jesus]

yoongi: some of you guys are the reason why we have instructions on shampoo bottles

[seok-jesus]

hoseok: i make bitches laugh just to see if they’re missing teeth

[seok-jesus]

seokjin: i eat twice as much meat, just so that one vegan thinks he or she is making a difference, is actually making no difference at all

[seok-jesus]

taehyung: if you close your eyes while holding a warm pancake, it’s almost like holding hands with a real person

[seok-jesus]

seokjin: remember to take care of yourself and drink lots of water!

jungkook: no

seokjin: then become the dirt i walk on

[seok-jesus]

yoongi: say yes to drugs

hoseok: say no to drugs

namjoon: it doesn’t matter what you tell drugs. cuz’ if you’re talking to drugs, you’re taking drugs

[seok-jesus]

jimin: the food is too hot, i can’t eat it

jungkook: you’re too hot and i can still eat you

jimin, blushing:

jungkook winks at jimin:

seokjin: one meal. i just want to have ONE peaceful meal

[seok-jesus]

[ bts playing among us ]

jungkook calls emergency meeting: jimin

jimin: ???

jungkook: do you have a phone number

seokjin: really. you called an emergency meeting to ask for the dude’s phone number?

[seok-jesus]

[ seokjin is taken as hostage ]

kidnappers speaking on the phone line: give us $1,000,000 in exchange for your guy’s safe return

seokjin: i am worth more than that! make it $10,000,000!

yoongi on the other line: HYUNG SHUT THE FUCK UP

[seok-jesus]

namjoon being romantic: i wouldn’t even need the starry sky anymore because all i could do was look in her eyes

vs.

jungkook being romantic: her eyes were the color of potatoes

[jincorrectbts]

Namjoon: do you take constructive criticism?

Jin: i only take cash or credit

[jincorrectbts]

Jin: ok boomer

Namjoon: hyung, you're older than me?

Jin: its about the vibes, boomer

[seok-jesus]

no one:

jinkook in an argument: