NYC Subway Will Make & Break You
A white male sporting a cap to cover his shaved head, in an orange jumper turned around and started to tell me off. Somewhat audible through music playing on my noise cancelling headphones, I caught his words:
“So nice of you to be helpful to other people. It must be so hard for you to help others”
“Get out of the way and make room for me”
I stared at him as he took out his anger out on me, but didn’t say anything. Wanted to see how much longer he’d continue with his passive aggressive asshole-ry before he shuffled off. The two women standing next to me smirked. Did they agree with him? Did they enjoy witnessing some guy telling some girl off? There’s no way it was a grin of consolation because, this is New York. To my defense, the guy got on the train from behind me, and unfortunately for him, I do not have eyes on the back of my head.
Dear white guy on the subway today : sorry I didn’t get out of your way when you were squeezing into the car behind me, the world must be so hard for you. Your genetic lottery ticket to life of privilege didn’t afford you ample space nor eyes on back of human heads to make room for you on the crowded subway. Shame on the world. How dare it.
Every commuter on the subway experiences this first hand, or watches this happen one time or another. It’s part of this ungrateful city that makes you and breaks you. You grow thicker skin, while building up rage that you’ll bestow on another stranger shortly thereafter. You’d likely text some friend(s) and vent about it and position yourself above them, but inside you are seeking ways to stop yourself from throwing the finger or stalk that person home so you can see where they live to later revisit with necessary tools of revenge.
You start thinking and talking about how much you hate the city as you revisit every asshole that you had to encounter in the past.
The guy who groped my ass. (For that one, I did tell him off)
The black lady who was getting racist on me, an asian, “you can’t see? you can’t see through your small eyes? you blind?”
I vow I will make it one day that I won’t have to deal with the subways and the assholes that come with it. I vow I’ll never step foot in that subway even if means twenty streets takes an hour. I will be helicoptered into and out of the city. I will have a driver at my commend.
a glass bottle of wine will do.