Septy Does Mad Science

A blog for vague containment of my mad science posts. There may be a breach at some point, but that is not my fault. they/them, mad geologist

[septarian-sciences]

It's all "happy pride!" until your prideful nature leads you down a path of perverse ruin, I see.

How was I supposed to know my invention would leave thirty test subjects injured?

[septarian-sciences]

Bisexual? Demisexual? Sweetheart, the raucous crowd of scientists here are more vivisexual at the moment if anything— vying to see your torso bisected and splayed apart with care.

[ozempicofficial]

[silveredcircuitry]

Made some tiny rayguns with beads and wire.

[dumbfuckmoderateluck]

Hey so I know you’re my subject who I am unethically experimenting on but do you think I’m doing a good job at being an evil scientist ? I just worry, y’know, ,, :(

[picrewtiepie]

Potion Maker

made while I was 🍃

consume my bottle of toxic liquids

[sawkillz]

a friend of mine asks me to sedate her. i do not think she's REALIZED just who i am. rips off scientist mask to reveal my MAD scientist mask. cackles evily. she asks, again, for me to sedate her. i sit her down for a talk

[we1rdsc1ence]

Fuck it [injects you with weird fucked up science goo]

┣▇▇▇═─

[h0]

ahhh!!! AHHH!!! (turns into this)

[thoughtsofadom-deactivated20230]

youre cute i wanna torture you

[septarian-sciences]

Hi. Your lab experiment thing just bit me. Why did it do that.

[domwitch]

What if we were lab partners??? 👉👈 and I told you what to do all the time and you obeyed unquestioningly?? 😳😳😳 jk jk..... Unless??? 👀👀👀👀

[stjohnstarling]

Has anyone ever told you that you look beautiful laid out under a surgical light?

[toasthaste]

according to An Immense World, apparently giant squid eyes are, like, UNREASONABLY large, even for something their size living at those depths. the next largest eyes on earth, blue whale eyes, are less than half the size, and swordfish, who live at similar depths as giant squid and have the largest eyes of any fish, have eyes that could fit inside a giant squid's pupil.

eyes hit serious diminishing returns wrt resource costs vs vision quality as they get bigger, so the question became: what the FUCK do giant (and colossal) squid need to see so badly that they couldn't see with swordfish-sized eyes that's justifying that massive energy cost? that nothing else in the deep ocean needs to see so fucking badly??

turns out the one strength eyes that big really have over much smaller eyes is: seeing large glowing objects in water deeper than 500 meters from an appreciable distance.

sperm whales are the primary predator of giant squid. sperm whales don't glow. BUT! water that deep is full of bioluminescent creatures-- these creatures light up when bumped into. something a sperm whale's size is continuously bumping into those critters, it's just surrounded by a glowing field all the time when it's swimming at those depths, visible from a distance-- if you have the right eyes-- as a massive glowing shape. so basically the only reason to have eyes the size of soccer balls is if you live in the deep ocean and your life depends on having a heads up when a hungry sperm whale lurking around

and also I gotta say, the imagery... the huge lurking threat betrayed only by the ambiguous glowing shape of its movements through the water, is really evocative, if spooky deep-sea games aren't already using that to make things extremely ominous then they should really start

[labdynastes]

WOW. WRITING IS EXHAUSTING. INTRODUCING MYSELF IS EXHAUSTING ALSO. THE ONLY POSSIBLE SOLUTION TO " WIND DOWN " AND " RELAX" WOULD BE DRINKING EVERY UNLABELED CONCOCTION IN MY LAB WITH MY EYES CLOSED. HERE I G !

[labdynastes]

Im awak . Evil hopital☝️

[labdynastes]

FINE I tried to see just a scientist in you but I literally CANNOT look at you and not think of seeing what a bug person's insides are made of would you like to forfeit your place of work to me and be dissected

AREN'T YOU A STRAIGHT-FORWARD ONE. I LIKE THAT IN CREATURES LIKE YOU. SO BOLD. RUDE, AS WELL, QUESTIONING MY AUTHORITY THIS WAY. YOU KNOW , MAYBE I WOULD LIKE TO BE DISSECTED FOR A CHANGE, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY FUN ; BUT OH MY , DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD INVITE A BUG FOR DINNER FIRST BEFORE ASKING THAT? YOU REALLY HAVE NO MANNERS ... TSK TSK . I AM NOT GIVING UP MY LAB OR MY RESEARCH ANYTIME SOON, INSOLENT ONE. YOU NEED TO TRY HARDER THAN THIS TO GET ME.

[labcoated-lunacy]

please please please come to my party. i promise i won’t vivisect you again

[contemptible-scoundrel]

fuuckk dude I have science in ten minutes *puts on round goggles and starts stuffing vials of glowing fluid and whirring metal instruments and taxidermy creatures and ominously humming monoliths into my bag*