@seraphbled asked; jace had, in secret, been getting progressively sicker. a lifetime of shit catching up to him in the most painful ways. he'd kept it from jon - from everyone really. but one night, as jon wasnt home and he practically clung to the toilet to vomit wave after wave of black colored blood - he knew jon would find him dead like this when he got back. (*smooch smooch* ilu)
he’d noticed something was off about the other for some time, but with how hard they were pushing themselves - all of them - with increased patrols lately, he hadn’t thought to question it too deeply. still, something had felt off & even being out to gather supplies felt… wrong. he’d been in the middle of weighting cut & dried lavender he needed when every cell in his body started screaming for him to get home immediately. he’d paid & bolted, BARELY waiting until he was clear of the shadow market to throw a portal & drag himself through. the basket falls from his arm as the scent of blood washes over him in spades & he sprints to Jace’s side. ‘ Jace, ’ he yelps, already reaching for his stele when he realizes that might do more harm than good. ‘ Jace, wake up, ’ he pleads softly, begging such an unaccustomed timbre in his voice. do not leave me to wander this earth alone. he moves like bottled lightening, throwing a portal & not even caring that blood seeps into his clothes as he lifts him into his arms. the best place he can think is Magnus’, knowing whatever this is, it’ll take more than a Silent Brother to keep it at bay. he slams through Magnus’ wards, grateful the other had given him a charm to bypass them in the even of dire need. ‘ Jace, you need to stay with me. ’
he wasn’t fully unconscious, not yet anyhow. but he was on the brink - barely able to even register that jon had lifted him up, save for the slight gasp that leaves his lips. the taste of metal rests heavy on his tongue and he wants nothing more than for jonathan to leave and not see him like this. if he has to pass from this world onto the next, he doesn’t want jonathan to see. and even less so does he want to force the burden of jon holding him as he goes. that was too much to ask of the man he loved. too much and too terrible. if he wasn’t dying and too weak to even say anything, he’d tell jon to put him down and leave. let someone else find jace like this.
but it was also unfair that jace hadn’t even told jon that something was wrong. he knew it was selfish to keep his deteriorating health such a tight lipped secret from the people he cared about, but he never wanted to burden any of them. his hope had been that - before it got too bad, just when he was at the brink of death - he would have gone off on his own. gone somewhere they couldn’t find him and die alone. he never wanted anyone to find him like this. least of all jonathan.
