Something nobody tells you about transitioning is that it makes you crave group sex and friends you can fuck
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Something nobody tells you about transitioning is that it makes you crave group sex and friends you can fuck
Hey you can't just tarnish the sanctity of the fallen angel like that. No no no stop touching its halo. It's not right to sully a pure b—oh. Oh it's moaning. Stop fucking rubbing it like that .. and sliding your fingers along the rim ...
...
Yes I can see that it's nuzzling into your hand. That doesn't mean anything. You wanna pull out one of its feathers? Whoa now—oh my god the angel isn't supposed to say "yes please" and pant harder. Stop you're going to leave a lecherous stain upon its pure consciousnesssssand it just came from that. Never mind.
(shouting over the loud music to the guy next to me at a crowded bar) no no listen. there's two types of piss kink, okay? there's the wetting kind and the golden showers kind. the wetting kind is all about loss of control. desperation. it's about surrendering yourself to your irresistible physical urges. it makes pissing a submissive act. sit back down i'm not finished. the golden showers kind is about pissing as a dominant act. it's about degradation. objectification. turning a person with agency into something dirty to be used for relief. there's overlap between the two but both can be used to reinforce different power dynamics in bdsm contexts. where are you going
I keep having this dream about running into a guy I used to fuck in high school at a (gone too soon, never actually existed) childhood friend’s funeral. I make it through the service but I’m around the back with a cigarette as soon as it’s over, pissy and uncomfortable being surrounded by people who knew me at the earliest, most vulnerable part of my transition. This guy’s included—knew me in a way that none of the other attendees did, in fact. Seeing him again was practically a sense memory trigger for the feeling of hands around my throat.
He finds me out back, apparently to get his own fix. I scowl and almost leave him to it, but I decide that he can’t make me scurry off by projecting his masculinity all over the place anymore. Once he gets over the surprise (that I’m here, that I’m not leaving) he settles against the wall and lights up. He speaks first.
Younger trans man going to a dive bar for the first time with his Older Trans man friend. They share some drinks, have a good time in the Smokey dark bar. Then one of the older guy’s flings shows up, biker guy, real silver fox type, and starts flirting with the younger man, basically could be his grandson….
Do they get into a fight? Do they resolve the situation in the cheap motel across the street? The possibilities are endless!
- @bear-den-xxx ❤️
It takes three or four tries, but eventually I agree to let this older trans guy I’ve been fucking take me out to the biker bar on the edge of town. He drives. I’ve heard the stories of the day he had to sell his motorcycle enough to last a lifetime, and I honestly don’t mind his modest sedan—been bent over in the backseat enough times to even be sort of fond of it—but I tease him about missing his bike on way there anyway. How he must hate not being able to pull into the lot on a thrumming engine, a hot piece of ass clinging tight to his waist from behind. Coming in his car, I say, must make it a lot less clear that I’m his.
He looks over at me and shakes his head, smiling with the corner of his mouth.
“Nah, there won’t be any problem with that,” he sighs. “Young guy like you, showing up with an oldhead like me—everyone there’ll know it’s some kind of initiation.”
He’s barely forty, and I tell him that he needs to go way more grey before he can start claiming titles like ‘oldhead’. He tells me to be quiet and throws something into my lap to keep me that way.
It’s a worn black cuff, buffed grey and gleaming at the edges of the well-maintained leather. I notice for the first time that his pants aren’t a dark-wash denim—they’re slick black leather, just as worn and well-kept as the bracelet.
I swallow and put it on. I thought the faded t-shirt and boot-cut jeans did me enough favors, but there’s something undeniable about the black leather wrapped firm and thick around my wrist, the gleaming silver hardware a nice contrast with the dark wiry hairs on my forearm. It’s a very masculine portrait, and my arm does look undeniably better with the stark accessory punctuating it. Charitably, I give him a few more seconds of quiet before going right back in about the bike.
He’s a little pissed off at me when we get there, so he cuffs the back of my neck like a dog and leads me straight inside, boots crunching in the gravel driveway then clomping on the old hardwood. I barely get to take in the old vests hanging from the ceiling, the wall-to-wall framed photographs, or the few old men sitting in a cluster at the dark lacquered bar before he’s beelining me to a booth at the back and shoving me down into the old leather seats with a terse “Wait here.”
He goes to the bar and orders. I understand what he means immediately. I don’t get to choose for myself. That’s reserved for boys who arrived sweet and quiet, wearing more leather and a far sweeter expression. He comes back with a shot and a beer.
He watches me throw back the amber liquid. I barely flinch but my eyes burn. I look away to blink off the swell of wetness, but his smooth, worn fingers catch my jaw.
“Don’t look away,” he murmurs. “There’s a good boy.”
I remind him through gritted teeth that I am not a boy. He sighs and takes a deep swig of his beer. I watch his throat work. I fantasize briefly about pushing him down onto the floor of the bar he loves so much and making his throat work to breathe through the fat lips of my cunt, but it fritzes to static as soon as I feel a warm pressure on my inner thigh.
He’s working my cock through my jeans, fingers pressed with surefire accuracy to the underside of my clit. I feel his warm breath on my neck when he leans in close, for all the world looking like a friend sharing a private joke.
“This is the kind of place men fuck,” he says, his voice warm and low. “You know what I mean? I mean I’m feeling you up in the exact spot a hundred daddies have felt up a hundred boys before. This is where you belong. You understand me?”
I feel the words ripple up my spine as his fingers curl in closer. I open my mouth to answer, but—
“Well, I’ll be damned. I didn’t think I’d be seeing you around today.”
A deep, warm voice cuts through the still air, and my hookup stiffens. My eyes first fix on a pair of shoes, black beat-up boots brown and dusty from the road. My gaze flits up to well-fitting jeans, a white t-shirt so thin it must be older than me, and a bulky, structured black leather jacket.
The guy is a true-blue silver fox, a white beard neatly trimmed against a strong jaw flowing into a full head of grey hair. His eyes are punctuated by crow’s feet on both sides.
“Mind if I sit?”
My friend responds. “Sure thing.”
I really think the whiskey must be hitting, because I feel dizzy and oversensitive as this gorgeous older man settles in across from us, sitting with his knees splayed and his arms tossed back over the booth. His eyes openly rake over my body, but he doesn’t address me.
“You look good. It’s been what, five years?”
“Seven,” my hookup responds. “Holding up well yourself, old man.”
“Ah, I try,” he sighs. “Well, aren’t you going to introduce me? I always figured you’d do well for yourself, but surely we’re talkin’ jailbait with this one, right?”
“I’m twenty-two,” I say. Both of them swivel to look at me. Feeling a little put-on, I add, “And let me guess. An old friend of yours?”
My hookup knows exactly what I mean, the word dry and hyphenate. He smiles wryly and pulls me a bit closer to him, palm still spread across my groin. “Yeah, an old friend. When I was talkin’ about those men in this booth, well—Mr. Silver Fox over here showed me a good time once in a while.”
Silver Fox snorts. “Better than a good time. Shit, I doubt you even fuck this one right. You always gave in so easily.” He spreads his legs further. I can’t see his crotch through the table, but I imagine strained leather and let out a quiet breath. Did my hookup mean for this to happen? Drag me down to a bar full of men, sandwich me up against an old flame who looks like he wouldn’t take a cloud on a sunny day, fuck with my head to prove his power over me?
I don’t think so. I can tell when my friend is completely in control, and there’s not nearly enough slack in his muscles for that to be the case. He’s feeling threatened, or maybe turned on, or maybe both. My blood runs hotter every second the tense silence crawls on.
“I don’t think you know much of anything about me anymore,” my hookup says eventually. “He keeps coming back, that’s all I’ll tell you.”
Silver Fox whistles, low. He’s still looking at me, something like lust burning openly in his expression. I defiantly meet his eyes, but his cool gaze still makes blood rush to my skin. He’s old enough to be my hookup’s dad, who’s right on the fence of being old enough to be mine.
“What do you want?” I ask, suddenly, feeling empowered. This guy must have forty years on me. “I could be your grandson, dude.”
My hookup snorts. Silver Fox shifts in the booth, but he’s still smiling. He looks to my friend. “He doesn’t know, does he?”
“I don’t know why he would.”
He turns back to address me, leaning closer in the crescent-shaped booth so I can actually feel the heat coming off of him, the smell of motor oil and dust.
“That’s what I like about you, boy,” he murmurs, soft and deep. “I like ‘em young and pliable. I’ve turned bigger, older men than you into cocksluts. What makes you think you have a chance?”
I turn to my hookup. “This place have a back room?”
It turns out to be a pretty small back room, but the three of us fit just fine standing. My hookup fits up behind me in a way that I know all too well, from when he’s admiring the way my hips slot against his, how my back arches to press our shoulders together. Silver Fox bullies his way up between my legs and kisses me, forceful. It knocks my head back onto my friend’s shoulder and he makes a soft noise, his hands swiping up underneath my shirt as Silver Fox forces his tongue into my mouth.
He clearly has the experience he was insinuating at the table. I feel immediately dizzy with how confidently he claimed control, how his mouth against mine fits sure and hot. My friend’s hands go straight to my belt and start unbuckling it. Silver Fox pulls back.
“Fuck, you look so good holding a young piece of ass in place.” He tells my hookup. “Really reminds me how much you’ve grown.”
They kiss over my shoulder. It’s an incredible turn-on, to feel their throats working, to hear the soft hisses and groans that break the seal of their lips. Silver Fox starts petting the seam of my jeans. My hookup takes it a step further by shoving my pants down my hips a few inches.
“You gonna fuck him for me or not?” He finally asks, swallowing hard against my shoulder. “Otherwise we’re leaving. He’s well-acquainted with my backseat.”
Silver Fox laughs. “Oh, I’ll fuck him for you,” he says, and his voice seems to have dropped an octave. I hear the sound of his belt. “Can you get pregnant, boy?”
Dazed, I shake my head no. He grunts. I feel my hookup reach down and push my jeans and underwear to the floor at the same time as Silver Fox’s dick springs free, hard and leaking. Silver—ha—glints from the underside of his cockhead. I feel a rush of wetness go straight to my cunt. He’s big.
My friend behind me takes advantage of the pause to lean back against an old, disused bar stool and prop me in his lap. He hooks his hands under my thighs and spreads them open, presenting me for his older friend. For some reason, the setup has drained almost any fight from my body. I can’t believe I’m just going to take him like this.
Silver Fox takes a long, agonizing second to stroke himself, looking us over. “Christ, you’re a picture,” he murmurs. “One of my boys breaking a new’un in. How sweet.”
His dick slots against the facet of my cunt and I shudder out a ragged breath. He’s big, warm, firm, heavy, a litany of adjectives that do nothing but turn me on more. He smiles when he sees my slick glinting in the low light.
“Hope you’re ready for a ride, big guy.”
I’ve only been working with this boss for a few months, but he already knows me too well. One morning when it barely takes an hour for my frustration to surface—shoulders tense, knee bouncing, about as good at sitting still as a toddler—his hand settles on my shoulder, warm fingers brushing the exposed skin at my collar.
“Easy, it’s just me.” His voice is warm, despite how I jump. “You doing alright?”
“Fine. Just hit some walls on some projects.” I don’t even pretend to hide the edge in my voice. “I’m all good. Don’t worry about me.”
I can hear the smile in his voice. “You’re my responsibility, kid. If I’m not worrying about you they’re not paying me.”
It’s not until a half hour later, when I’m shoving my slacks down to my ankles in the single-stall tucked away on the fifth floor, that I wonder if this was always his plan. He’s hard and throbbing between my legs, and I wonder briefly if he still would have checked in with me, would have done so with the same intention, if I hadn’t been so transparently wound up. If he’s doing this to settle me or to satisfy himself.
I don’t care. I hiss his name (his first name, none of that Mr. shit) as he slides home, slicked by a handful of spit and the slick already starting to leak out of me. It feels good, to not have to think. To let the warm, heavy weight of him drape over my back as his hips jerk into mine, making noises that would have been suicide in any other bathroom in the building. I feel the angst draining out of me with every delicious grind of his cockhead into the back of my cunt. I come fast as a teenager, and so does he.
Later, when I’m listening to the metallic clinking of his belt buckle and dreaming about the cigarette I’m going to have on my lunch break, I feel his hand in my hair.
He pets me. Like a kid or a dog, just a quick ruffle followed by a cursory but nonetheless meticulous rearrangement of my curls. It makes something very, very strange happen in my belly, and I just stare at him. The fuck?
“Come to me next time, hey?” he rumbles. “Don’t wanna have to seek you out, next time you need something like this. You’ll wear yourself down to nothing. This place ain’t worth that.”
I nod, still dumb. It’s not like I hadn’t considered him before, but having it—whenever I want, too—is a whole new ballgame.
The sound of his zipper puts a definite punctuation on the conversation. Back to work.
“Oh, kid?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t clock out for lunch. I’ll make sure nobody notices.”
I can’t help but grin at his retreating back as he closes the door to the stall. Favoritism, favoritism.
Whatever. I’ll take it where I can get it.
Part 1 Part 2
This goes on for a few weeks. I can tell he’s holding back a bit, overly conscious and even a little sweet about accommodating my packed work schedule. Since he’s only asking me to jerk off maybe once, twice a day, we’ve somehow made it to the middle of the month.
One morning he doesn’t text me. I spend a few minutes confused, then several more annoyed that this has become such a routine to me that I can even get confused about it. It’s not like I’m going to jerk off just for the love of the game, or God forbid because he got me used to it. It’s a work day anyway. I should be in the shower by now.
A few minutes after I finish drying my hair, still warm and loose from the blessing that is hot water, my phone vibrates. I don’t expect it to be him, so it’s a nice little shot of intrigue when I see his contact.
It’s a short text. Promise you won’t be mad, in tiny little characters.
The hottest day of the year when there's a blackout and my roommate and I are stuck with no ac. We're both stripped down to our underwear and through the haze of heat and sweat and booze from drinking every last cold beer in the fridge, I can't stop staring at his bulge. The way it strains against his tight boxers, twitching every so often as we talk about nothing. There's a lull in conversation and then he asks:
"You wanna see it?"
I'm not sure what he's talking about for a moment but then he reaches down and palms his cock. The look on my face must have given me away and he doesn't even wait for a reply before pulling off his boxers. His balls look full to bursting and his cock is thick and quickly getting harder as I feel something other than sweat start to drip down my legs.
"It's so thick..." I murmur.
"I haven't had time to jerk off lately," he tells me.
"Maybe you could show me how you do it?" I offer. He traces a finger down his length before grasping it and slowly beginning to stroke. I prop myself up on my elbows and inch closer to him from the spot where I'm laying on the floor. He stifles a deep groan as he squeezes the head, and then stops his movements.
"Sorry, it's more embarrassing than I thought," he tells me.
"...what if I show you how I do it too?" I suggest. I pull myself off the floor and slide off my underwear. The insides of my legs are already soaked with slick and I watch as his dick twitches particularly hard in his hand. I straddle his thighs and start to rub at my t dick. He starts his slow motions again and for a while we both watch each other, rubbing and stroking and panting like dogs. I steady myself with one hand on his shoulder and he leans into my touch. The head of his cock is dripping right under me and I just want to rub it across my pussy lips. Subconsciously my hips are lowering, and I don't even notice until I feel the heat of his cock right at my hole. I stop myself and look at him.
"It would be okay if you just rub the tip against my pussy, right? No penetration." I reason.
"Yeah... yeah that would be good," he agrees.
He slides his tip through my wetness and pushes it against my t cock, making me let out the first full real moan between the two of us. He repeats the motion and groans as I start sliding my hips into it. We rut against each other until a particularly hard roll of my hips catches his cock head at just the right angle, and it slides inside me. We both moan and pause our movements to look into each other's eyes.
"It's okay if it's just the tip right?" He asks.
"Yeah, we can always just pull it back out," I reassure him.
But we both know it feels too good. He strokes his shaft and I can feel his precum pouring into me. Every little shift has me rubbing my dick harder and faster. I'm getting close when he runs his free hand into my hair and pulls me in for a kiss. My knees give out. I moan into his mouth as his cock fills me completely, pressing right against my cervix.
"I can-- AH-- I can still pull out..." he whimpers again my lips.
"Y-- yeah..." I agree, but I'm already grinding my hips into his.
"I'll just... pull it out right now," he says, gripping my thighs and pulling me up off his cock. We make it all the way to the tip again, but he can't stop himself from rolling his hips and slamming it back into me from below. His arms wrap around me and we both moan and whine and growl into another sloppy kiss as our hips thrust against each other mindlessly. I pull away from him as I feel my climax coming on.
"Fuck... I'm gonna cum!" I moan.
"Me too... fuck, you're so tight!" He moans back.
I scream as he thrusts even harder and I squirt and cum all over his cock as it twitches and fills me with his hot seed. After we come down from our drunken, cum-brained high, we come to our senses enough to decide we need a shower. Luckily our water is still on even though the power is out.
"Hey... it's kind of dark in the bathroom. We should probably shower together just to be safe," I suggest, "and maybe you can show me how you jerk off in the shower."
I don’t masturbate much, but this guy I’m seeing does every day, usually more than once. He tells me it’s a cis guy thing, about how a hard-on is way harder to ignore than “just getting wet”, which—well, that’s not why. I’m the first trans man he’s slept with so I can understand why he might be wrong, but I’ve known enough truly perverted tboys to know it’s not an anatomical thing. I just don’t need it as much as he does.
Anyway—No Nut November rolls around, and while we’re not quite at the stage where I’d be able to control his orgasms when we’re not together, I make a joke in passing that NNN for me would be having to masturbate every single day. That sense of frustration and obligation, of having to spend time I wanted to use differently doing something that’s just not what I want—I’m just making an observation, watching my cigarette smoke waft off into the night air—but when I turn to look at him, his pupils have swallowed his irises and he’s pitched toward me, eyes trained on my throat.
“What if we traded?” he rasps. I snort and pass him the cig. “I’m busier than you, boy. I don’t have time to sit around with my dick in my hand.”
He tries again. “I mean—if you, uh—if I told you when I wanted to get off. And I didn’t, but you did.”
That’s more interesting. I consider him lengthwise. “It’s like, three times a day, right? I have a job.”
He shakes his head. “Well, yeah, but—if we’re just talking about need? Once in the morning, maybe again to fall asleep. I think—I think you could do it.”
“Oh, I could,” I sigh. “And I won’t lie, I’m tempted. Would you show me?”
“What do you mean?”
I snag the cigarette back from him. “When you need it. Would you send me a picture of your cock?”
His throat works as he swallows. “Uh, I mean, yeah?”
I picture it for a moment. This boy, this young man I’m just starting to know, spending a month doing nothing with his boners but sending pictures of them to me. I normally would not at all appreciate being forced to cum on a daily basis, but the idea of him—lying back in the early morning, dick pink and weeping onto his stomach, hands twitching with the urge to touch while he imagines my fingers tucked inside my cunt—has a real ring to it.
“Alright.” I shrug. “Let’s try it.”
He texts me for the first time on the second day of the month. I’d been tempted to ask if he already failed or forgot, less than a day in, but it’s so early in the morning he didn’t really make it 24 hours anyway. I’m actually not at all bothered by the idea of him spending that first day conflicted—pent up, but still too anxious to text me, to see if I was serious.
Hey
If you meant it, I’m stupid hard rn
I smile at my phone despite myself. If I meant it. He’ll learn I always do, soon enough.
I think you’re missing an important part of this deal I send back.
He doesn’t reply for a minute. I wonder if that’s the rub. He has nothing to be shy about, both because I’ve seen his dick and because it’s absolutely nothing to scoff at, but some people are real prudes about photographic evidence. Guys with porn-rotted brains like him see it as a real loss of power, for someone else to have them in the objectifying form of an image. I suddenly feel my clit, in the way that it politely makes itself known when something’s starting to get me hot under the collar. Right as I’m starting to debate getting off regardless of what my boy does, my phone buzzes.
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proud owner of a sonos 5500 ultrasound machine
I wish kinky sex ed wasn't so stigmatized even among left-leaning "sex positive" circles. Everyone's all "uwu I'm a sub I'll do anything you ask" okay mommy wants you to read The New Bottoming Book so you learn how to sub without hurting yourself since your sex ed up to this point is porn and your ex boyfriend Jared who liked to choke you incorrectly
I’m so glad you asked! Let me list off what I’ve got for you:
Books I personally recommend:
- The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
If you’re having kinky sex at all, you need to read at least one of these two books. Point blank. They’ll teach you the very basics of negotiating properly (which is critical!), and help you identify what you are and aren’t into.
- Mindfucking Mindfully, by Sir Ezra Where this book really shines isn’t actually in helping you “mindfuck” people, it’s in taking a close look at how to do so ethically. It’s a great answer to the question “how do I get someone to consent to something and still surprise and shock them with it?”
- Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny This is a slightly niche pick but there simply isn’t a better book on the subject. It’s written from a 24/7 M/s perspective, which is not what I do, but the book itself is an indispensable guide to giving and receiving service. The phrase “if the Master doesn’t want it, it isn’t service” will be burned into my psyche for quite some time. I love this book a lot. Maybe my favorite out of all of these.
- Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation, by Princess Kali This one’s high on my reading list; I’ve heard it recommended by a number of people whose opinions on these things I trust.
- Pretty Much Anything Midori Has Ever Done Midori is a great resource for this stuff - I haven’t personally read much of her work, but she’s a well known sex educator and great at what she does. She’s known for bondage, but has a lot of range beyond that.
- This Negotiations Worksheet from Bex Talks Sex This is what I default to using a lot of the time for negotiations. Forget BDSMtest, you don’t need that, it’s no good. Just look through this worksheet’s wordbank with your partner. Big fan especially of the “how do you want to feel?” section.
Books I can kind of recommend:
- The Ultimate Guide to Kink, edited by Tristan Taormino This book is weird. There’s a lot of good info for experienced players, but some of what’s written here skeeves me out. I think if I had a top that thought the way some of the tops in here think, they would not be topping me for long. But there’s some good techniques and so on to pick up that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I liked the distinction one of the authors makes between being sadistic in the sense of inflicting pain and being sadistic in the sense of doing something your sub doesn’t “enjoy.”
- The Ritual of Dominance and Submission, by David English Man, this book fucking sucks. The writing and editing are garbage, and the fear and protocol play described need way more careful negotiation than he ever lets on, let alone recommends. This is some 50 Shades bullshit. The only time I recommend this book is to tops like me who tend to be very affirming to their partners and need a guide on how to really scare them - when their partner consents and when you negotiate it, which this book sucks at teaching you. Really good content on fear, punishment, and protocol play, really terrible presentation of the topic though. Don’t read this if you don’t already know what you’re doing.
- Paradigms of Power, by Raven Kaldera I love this book. Great book. Very focused on 24/7 M/s play though, and, being an anthology, some chapters are better than others. If you can’t read something and pick out what is and isn’t for you, don’t bother. But some really great inspiration, and generally pretty well written. Big fan of the discussion of leather throughout the book.
Hope some of these are helpful for people ^-^ for the average person reading this I recommend New Bottoming/Topping, but they’re all important parts of my library and I’ve recommended all of them to friends at some point or another.
May I also suggest Hell on Wheels and Kneeling in Spirit by Raven Kaldera, d/s companion books that address kink with a disability. They're a should read for everyone, imo. You never know when you or a partner are going to have changes in your body that affect what you can physically do. Temporary illness/injury and even just age can affect your sex life.
I'd like to suggest Better Bondage for Every Body! It goes really in depth on anatomy, pain processing, self-tying, and has chapters specifically focusing on how to do rope bondage on/for someone who is disabled or has chronic pain, which was really important to me.
reblogging specifically for these last additions bc I don't think I've ever seen resources for kink w/ disability
from a beanie baby catalogue I found
Josh O'Connor as Jud Duplenticy WAKE UP DEAD MAN: A KNIVES OUT MYSTERY (2025)
i wish i could experience my own love i bet it would feel so warm
Cupid's Arrow <3
divinity kink in less of a "fuck me in a nun habit" way and more of a "put me on my knees and rewrite my understanding of faith and show me what a loving god's hand feels like and give me mercy and wrath and splendor and leave your communion dripping from my lips and teach me how every part of my body was meant to worship you"