Flutter/Spencer

21 Lads 18+

[sereneflutter]

Soft wings caught in the exhale of your breath

Welcome to my main blog! This is a place for lads fluff, comfort and maybe some nsfw content. My alt blog @sinfulflutter has dark content/smut if that is something you are looking for.

Reqests open!

Recent works

Disability comfort- Misophonia, PMDD

Valko- yougetyourperiod, waitingathome, kisseshc, headcannons

Rafxreaderxvalko- part one, part two

Series

About me

Call me Spencer/Flutter

I am genderfluid/genderslow

All gendered terms are good

I am dx autistic (that comes with a lot of symptoms and comorbities)

I am dyslexic and struggled to learn how to spell so I rely heavily on autocorrect and google (Pls be kind when fixing any mistakes I make)

[sereneflutter]

So no lads posting today. I am working on something to be posted tomorrow (a request).

Really just came here to vent for a sec during disability pride month about hypermoblity. I have generalized hypermoblity that causes joint pain and sublaxations. Recently no matter how hydrated i am, good electrolytes, ect (i had blood work recently and everything is good) I am getting bad muscle cramps like crazy. It always happens when I accidentally overextend/hyperextend. It's really effecting my life more than the hypermoblity itself. I got used to that and the joint pain that comes and goes for me. It's just a new symptom that will take time to adjust to. I read that it can be my muscles compensating for my joint instability. Does anyone else with hypermoblity/heds have to cope with this?

I have used k-tape before but i often have allergic reactions to those kinds of things. If you have anything else to suggest under 100$ usd i will appreciate it.

[sereneflutter]

SNDNBXJDNJDJD CRYING, SCREAMING RN!! They removed the coming soon......I am not stopping my boycott and I am never going to stop posting/talking about Valko no matter what happenes. FUCK THIS GAME MAN.

(not my screenshot btw from twitter. I still got it undownloaded)

[sereneflutter]

I FEEL CRAZY! I STILL WANT TO HAVE HOPE SO I DO FUCK!

I still have hope.....but not a lot.

Best case scenario they finally SAY SOMETHING and release him.

Bad scenario they release him changed/gutted or as a non-romanable character

Worst case they never address the wolf in the room and he is never released

I know they made an announcement cancelling valko and yet i am waiting possibly forever for another announcement just addressing all this push/hope for valko

[sereneflutter]

SNDNBXJDNJDJD CRYING, SCREAMING RN!! They removed the coming soon......I am not stopping my boycott and I am never going to stop posting/talking about Valko no matter what happenes. FUCK THIS GAME MAN.

(not my screenshot btw from twitter. I still got it undownloaded)

[sereneflutter]

Soooo just in case we never get valko, this is me now promising that I will always write for him. He may be more of an oc/headcannon, but I will always write for him.

Sidenote: BRO IF HE COMES BACK MAKE THIS MEME BUT WITH VALCO OMG

[sereneflutter]

The lads men help during PMDD symptoms

Request from @tsunamethyst

A/N I hope I handeled this with care and nuance. PMDD has a wide range of symptoms and severity.

Trigger warning: Sucidial ideation during Xavier's part. It is purposefully put at the end.

It can vary, but it always starts within those 14 days leading up to your period and lasts a few days in at least. It's exhausting. The headaches, bloating, joint pain, irritability, sudden crying, heart palpitations, sleeping too much or hardly at all and a depression that can settle deep in your bones. It's also much more than that. Worst of all PMDD has so many possible symptoms that sometimes a new one appears out of nowhere. It can make you question if something else is wrong and the uncertainty is frightening. On the worst days, getting out of bed feels impossible. Luckily, you also have good months where symptoms are decreased. Through it all your boyfriend is there to care for you and reassure you.

Zayne

You're in a lot of pain. Your joints and muscles ache. Bloating makes your stomach tight and waves of nausea make eating unappealing. A headache threatens to become a migraine while cramps radiate through your pelvis and lower back. And now you're ready to strangle Zayne. You were happy truly when he came back from the hospital hours early, but he's a doctor. So he gently pushes you for your better interest. He makes it as accessible and easy as possible to do yoga in bed. Pillows help support you and his hands are always there massaging away the tension. "Let's just try one stretch. If it hurts more, we stop." At first it's awful, moving slowly and breathing through the pain you can't ignore. You only feel the results when you lie back down after. The whole thing was maybe two minutes. No, it hasn't magically made everything better, but you feel a little looser. The bloating has released some and the cramps are less intense. Most importantly Zayne is comforting you. He brings you OTC medicine with water and massages your body before providing a heating pad. "I know it's hard and can feel pointlessly frustrating. It's worth trying though. The effects will range in effectiveness. Thank you for doing it and" he looks into your iris, "I am proud of you." Tears well in your eyes. He pulls you into a hug and presses a kiss to your head. "I love you."

Rafayel

Everything feels much bigger than usual. A small misunderstanding leads into you storming off. Rafayel debates following, but he knows space is best when your emotions are high. Instead he stays nearby where he can hear you. When you easily find him, you're crying and apologizing; he pulls you close. He pets your hair as he speaks softly, "That's not you cutie." You argue he doesn't deserve your anger either. "I know, but I also know you are trying your best right now. I can give you grace. Your mind is being especially cruel to yourself." Rafayel also knows that you were protecting him in your own way by walking off; talking further would only escalate the situation. You left before you ever crossed a line. He spends the rest of the night holding you close and reassuring you. "You're still the person I love. One misunderstanding doesn't paint over the masterpiece." His presence is comforting allowing you to drift into a peaceful dream.

Sylus

Your heart can't seem to stop racing. You've hardly gotten any sleep. You're overthinking every little thing and the heart palpitations are not helping. You stand up out of bed to splash some cold water on your face and your vision goes dark at the edges. You sway, dizzy and off balance as blood pools. Sylus's hands steady you. You blink as your vision clears, staring at him confused. The man just appeared. He helps you sit back down on the bed. "I cancelled everything for the day. I'm all yours." Your fingers grip his shirt as you lean your head against him. It's not something you really think about doing. It's an attempt at grounding yourself. Sylus stays exactly where you hold him as he pets your head slowly. "It's alright. Just breathe in deep through your nose and slowly out through the mouth." You stay like that until your heart rate slows. Sylus stays by your side the whole day. He helps roll on compression grippy socks to help you when you do get out of bed even though he'd never let you fall. When the panic comes back he helps you breathe through it and brings something cold for you to press against your skin. "You know I adore you." He kisses your forehead as you lay in bed together. "There is no love purer than mine."

Caleb

You're weighed down as if you are a wet blanket. Every limb feels 10 pounds heavier, your head throbs and even sitting up feels like climbing a mountain. You drift in and out of sleep. Caleb keeps the curtains closed, sits water on the bedside table, brings your favorite snacks and helps you sit up in bed. He brings cold wet cloths to wipe away the sweat that clings to your skin. He helps you brush your teeth in bed, water to rinse and a bowl to spit in. He brushes your hair slow and gentle so the brush doesn't pull. You honestly are embarrassed and try to say that you can get up. Yet, he urges you to stay in bed. He knows that exhaustion settled deep inside your body will only worsen if he lets you do that. He never complains or shows any sign that he is disgusted or upset. No. Caleb gets in bed with you and curls around you. He holds you close to his chest and whispers sweet nothings to you. Tears drip from your eyes despite the words. You're not sure why. You simply feel...adrift. He feels the wetness on his chest. He holds you a little tighter, "It's okay. I'm here. This will pass like it always does."

Valko

The television is too loud, the lights are too bright, and even innocent questions feel overwhelming. You snap before you can stop yourself, then almost immediately feel guilty for raising your voice. Concentrating is impossible, and the frustration only grows the longer the day drags on. Valko doesn't take your irritability personally. He quietly lowers the lights, keeps the house peaceful and gives you space when you need it. When night comes all the frustration is still there but it's buried under feeling hopeless. You're curled up with a heating pad, crying. Valko rubs your back gently. He listens to your every complaint, every feeling and every emotion. He brings you water and your favorite snacks. When you make a very specific craving request; no matter what it is, he makes it happen. "I'm always going to give you anything you need or ask for if it's within my power even when it's difficult. My little wolf is always worth it."

Xavier

Everything feels wrong. Your body, your mind, your life. You toss and turn in bed. You get up to pace when your body allows. Your heart is beating faster than normal, but not pounding. You actually don't notice it unless you stop moving which you hardly do. All you can feel is how everything is wrong, an impending doom and the pain in your body. Xavier feels helpless watching you. You're restless and any suggestion to slow down and breathe makes you want to scream because this is the only thing that feels good right now. Moving around. So he waits, listens to your needs and does anything you ask to help. After hours, you break down in his arms. You want to crawl out of your skin....honestly you want to die. Dying sounds preferable to this. You feel out of your mind and like a heavy burden on Xavier. You idealize passing away in your sleep. "My star, my light" his voice cracks, "you are so much more than this. You are not a burden. You are bright and intelligent. We can get through this together. I promise you that these feelings are not permanent, they are impossibly heavy so we will just have to ride them out. I'm not going anywhere."

[sereneflutter]

saw your disability/condition series and thought I’d send one I’d love to see a comfort/fluff piece on! I’m not sure if it’s too heavy but i struggle with something called PMDD, which is essentially an extreme and sometimes debilitating version of a monthly PMS. It lasts longer and is grossly underrepresented and under-researched which often leads to it being incorrectly treated or even rarely diagnosed because doctors are misdiagnosing patients with other things. Too often do i think a loving companion who cares to learn as much as they can would make all the difference during some months :’)

Thank you for your ask! I did a lot of research on this in my late teens along with pcos/pmos. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar at one point. I never did receive proper testing/dx (loss of insurance, lack of awareness/education) for my concerns with how awful my pms was and a lot of physical symptoms. I just saw that birth control can help some so that's what I did and luckily it has helped. I hope I handled this with nuance and care. I will be tagging you on the post when it is posted soon.

[sereneflutter]

How the Lads men handle your misophonia/auditory sensory issues

This will be a series. Feel free to request your disability and/or condtion. Happy disablity month! Use/wear your aids with pride. Disabled is not a dirty word.

It's never pretty when everything hits and you are reduced to a full breakdown-tears, sobs, hyperventilating. Your boyfriend never wants to see you suffer like that. He knows that having this condition means it will happen, but he is intentional to help prevent things from reaching that point whenever possible.

Xavier notices before anyone else. He picks up on the tightness in your shoulders, the change in your breathing, how you can't seem to focus. When you get snippy he doesn't get mad. He knows you're trying so hard to keep calm. Without drawing attention, he'd get you away from the noise and help you calm down. Even if that means simply waiting and being quiet.

Xavier would never tell you to "just cope" or "to deal with it". He'd start bringing an extra of everything you use to help; noise-cancelling headphones/earbuds, earplugs, ear defenders, stimming tools. His calm presence and attitude would help your nervous system settle.

As a doctor, Zayne is initially intrigued by the term misophonia. He researches it, learning how it's not a current medical term, but a helpful one for sharing people's experience. He'd look into any and all ways to be helpful. He learns how for some, a lot of sounds that are a struggle are actually "silent" to most- like the buzz of lights, the hum of the appliances.

Zayne would replace anything that made a low hum in his office and home. He'd make sure cabinets and doors didn't slam shut on their own. If there was ever a triggering noise he couldn't prevent he would kindly ask, "Would you care to leave for a few minutes?" His care is practical, patient and consistent.

Rafayel would complain dramatically about "horrible noises assaulting your delicate ears" while immediately doing something about them. If someone nearby was chewing loudly, he'd distract you with dramatic conversation or whisk you away under the excuse that he suddenly had a "far better idea."

Rafayel would fill his studio with music you enjoy, fountains, or ocean sounds that mask unpleasant noises. He'd also become surprisingly protective if someone mocked your sensory issues, making it very clear that your comfort mattered more than their opinions.

Sylus would treat your misophonia triggers like important intelligence to remember. He'd remember every single trigger and whenever possible simply make it a non-issue so you could enjoy time without ear protection. He has the money to reserve any private space for you to be comfortable. He did also buy you the most expensive headphones with the best noise-cancellation tech.

Sylus would be gentle and patient. He'd reassure you that it's not a problem or a hassle to accommodate you. He wants to.

When you were younger Caleb at first teased you about it, but as soon as you had a panic attack he realized how serious this was. Over the years he has been your biggest advocate. Telling off bullies, your grandma and friends when they were teasing you. You and Caleb didn't have a name for it until you were older. Having a name was a relief because it made it easier to explain and talk about without it becoming a mouthful.

Anytime you became overstimulated/your misophonia was triggered he'd be there to offer headphones, a shoulder to cry on, someone to help distract you or simply sitting with you until the moment passed.

Valko would understand better than most. No, he doesn't have panic attacks or get affected the way you do, but he is more sensitive. He can hear what others naturally block out. Most times you never have to specify what noise was bothering you because he already knew. He would also already be planning to leave/move or already taking out noise-cancelling protection.

Valko loves the sound of a good clicky keyboard, but there is more to a good keyboard than that. He starts choosing quiet keyboards and it naturally becomes his newest interest. You feel kinda bad, but it goes away when he shows you his newest keyboard with such a happy and bright smile.

[lupusbaby]

Say it with me! Wheelchairs aren’t sad! Mobility aids aren’t sad! Mobility aids are instruments of freedom!

[goth-princess-gwennie]

Forgive me if this is inappropriate but

So are

colostomy bags

Diapers

insulin pumps

Oxygen systems

Braces

[cuntpunkop-ed]

catheters

rollators

hearing aids

compression garments

prosthetics

FREEDOM AIDS

[seraph1c-mo0n]

- canes

- service animals

- noise cancelling headphones/ear defenders

- wheelchair attachments

- fidgets

IT’S DISABILITY PRIDE MONTH YALL

BE UNAPOLOGETICALLY DISABLED AND TAKE UP ALL THE SPACE AND TIME YOU NEED!!!!!

[sereneflutter]

Tags: Valko, fem!reader, period

Warnings: none(?)

Inspired by this post

Thinking about Valko who is absolutely clueless the first time you get your period with him around. He's worried. Anxiously looking you over and sniffing you everywhere. When he mentions he smells blood; you hint at it, too embarrassed to spell it out. He doesn't catch on. He keeps sniffing you as you now lay on the couch until his face is getting lower and lower. You squeeze your thighs tight and try to push him away. It's useless as he almost stuffs his face to your clothed core. His tail wags happily like he's proud of himself for finally finding it. He looks up to tell you he found where the scent is from when the look on your face stops him. Finally it clicks and his eyes widen. He profusely apologizes. He offers to make up for being so dumb with chocolate (for the both of you), backrubs, massages, a new heating pad and anything else you could need.

[tikvin]

Wolfie

[sereneflutter]

After Hours

Part one.

Tags: Flirting, jealousy, Valko, Rafayel, xmcreader

Warnings: None

Word count: 459

"And here I thought I was your favorite employer" Rafayel huffs dramatically. You hold back the urge to roll your eyes. "Worst of all it's all private information with you."

"I told you what I can."

"You're lucky your cute otherwise I'd be terribly offended." He admires his own paintings. The exhibition is nearly over; most people have left already. "Which one was your favorite, cutie?"

Your eyes flick away to the painting a little further down. "The sunken statue. There was something oddly familiar about it."

"Isn't it funny the things we can't remember still leave an impact?" He looks like he's remembering something. A pained expression crosses his features for just a moment. Just as quickly his face changes into a dramatic pout. "I think you have spent the whole night looking at my paintings and that bulky man."

"He's not bulky."

Rafayel glares, "He is." He turns his body fully to you. "This night is about me shouldn't you be paying attention to me?"

"Isn't your art an extension of you?"

"An extension of me, yes." He takes a step closer. "But the original is much more interesting."

"I don't know. Your paintings are giving you some pretty stiff competition."

He places a hand over his heart. "Betrayed... by my own creations."

"Only you could compete with your own paintings."

His color shifting eyes met yours with a smile. "Tell me then who's winning right now?"

"Don't make me inflate your ego any more than it is."

He gasps, "You think my ego is big?"

You don't even offer a response instead choosing to change the topic. "It's getting late."

"Don't run away because you just gave away that I won."

"Winning against yourself doesn't count."

"You make it very difficult to be charming."

"You were trying to be charming?" Rafayel glares with a pout. You give a small smile. "Goodnight Raf, I'll see you later."

Your getting ready for bed when a notification comes through. You check your phone.

Valko: I hope I didn't cause too much trouble tonight

Valko: I didn't get a chance to tell you...you looked exquisite

You smile as the light illuminates your face in your dimly lit bedroom.

You: Why were you there?

You: Should I be concerned?

Valko: No

Valko: I was simply curious after hearing about him from some investors

Valko: They have interesting taste

You: Is Rafayel's art not up to your taste?

Valko: I wouldn't say that

Valko: He clearly has an eye for beauty

You: I think he might appreciate hearing that

Valko: Perhaps

Valko: but I wasn't referring to the paintings

You stare at the text, not knowing how to respond.

Valko: Rafayel himself seemed a little dramatic I suppose artists usually are

You: He can be a lot, but he's a great guy

Valko: He's protective I can respect that

Valko: I am too

Valko: and competitive

You: It isn't a competition

Valko: Goodnight, lil pup

You sigh and send a quick goodnight back. Your heart is racing. It's hours of tossing and turning before you are able to fall asleep.

[sereneflutter]

To me it does feel this way. Rn I am feeling pretty hopeful, but if Valko does not return I truly think in a year or two the game will shut down all or multiple servers. Many will leave the game and the story will feel like it's missing pieces. If they don't address issues as well that created some of the big lash out over Valko they will continue to lose players. They need to work on the pity system, diamond farming/battle, lighting for darker skin tones and catching up new Li that are missing content. This battle is not just about Valko and it never was. So even if we do get Valko i hope the fans can stay together like we are rn to push for all these issues to be addressed.

[sereneflutter]

A wolf and a fish walk into an art gallery

A/N Valko is supposed be Rafayels foil supposedly and yet I haven't seen anything about them interacting. I have seen caleb and sylus tho which is so fucking good, keep doing that. Anyways this is my effort in creating valkoxreaderxrafayel and I may make this a series that will turn nsfw.

If you can't find it write it yourself.

Part two

Tags: jealousy, first meeting, Valko, Rafayel, xmcreader

Warnings: none

Word count: 267

Rafayel's latest collection is truly breathtaking, as usual. Each painting at first glance is calm, but as you look a little closer something is unsettling. One is of a lost city under the ocean; columns on each side and in the middle light filters down over a school of fish as they swim up in a funnel. When you look closely a handprint is on one of the columns, in a shade that almost blends in seamlessly. Another is of a sunken merfolk statue; the statue has a muscular lean build that one would assume is from a man, but as the view is on the statue's back there is no way of knowing for certain. The figure holds a trident and on the tips barely there is blood. The last one you look at is of the beach at night; shells and tops of waves catching the moonlight, but within a wave about to crash down is a pair of eyes staring at the viewer.

"It's amazing what people can hide in plain sight." Valko's voice rings clear in your ears as his breath tickles your skin. You step back as you turn to see him dressed in a well-fitted suit. He wears a smirk, "I am surprised to find you here. Didn't think of you as one to spend your free time admiring art."

Before you even find the words to ask why Valko is here Rafayel has stepped in close to your side and wrapped an arm around your waist. "I hope you aren't harassing my bodyguard" Rafayel smiles brightly. "They are off duty tonight."

Valko flicks his eyes down to where Rafayel now has his hand. His smirk has now fallen replaced with an assessing look. "Harassing?" He lets out a quiet dry laugh. "Not at all. We were discussing your work."

"You seem awfully interested in that one." Rafayel tilted his head.

Valko's eyes drifted back to the canvas. "Most people just admire the composition" his gaze lingered on the eyes hidden among the shades of blue. "I prefer the details."

"That is the fun part of art. Some people only see the paint. Others start telling on themselves."

Rafayel and Valko stare at each other for what feels like an impossibly long moment. You clear your throat to break the growing tension.

"Valko, this is Rafayel, my employer. Rafayel this is Valko a-" your mind hesitates wondering what to call him. Valko seems to take enjoyment in that while Rafayel frowns.

Luckily or unluckily Valko finishes for you, "business partner." Rafayel shoots you a quizzical look. You would have to answer for that later.

[sereneflutter]

Waiting on you

(Tags:Fluff, Valko Warnings:feet/shoe smelling lol)

Everything at the lab has finished or is currently processing for results, the board is pleased, the moon is new. It's a rare night where Valko is completely free and overwhelmingly bored. He tried working out to help...but his thoughts kept coming to you. He texted you an hour ago now; your response finally came through, just a small message to say you don't know when you'll be done. His face was illuminated by the message as he made his way up to your apartment.

As soon as he was inside your scent hit him. He took in a deep breath through his nose letting your scent overwhelm him. A small smile displayed on his lips while his tail unknowingly swished behind him as he wandered around. In the kitchen, a few dishes from breakfast. He quickly washed and dried them before putting them back in the cabinets. His feet wandered into the living room where a book sat on the coffee table; he flipped it open to a marked page and scanned the words before returning it. It felt nice to be here; in your space. He sat on your couch grabbing at the pillows to inhale deeply again looking for your scent. His eyes scanned your shelves. Honestly looking for a picture of him, but then he realized you never got to do that yet. That had to change.

The next few hours Valko spent his time waiting on your couch; occasionally looking through your stuff. Disaster struck when his tail knocked off a succulent. The pot and dirt scattered across the floor. The poor succulent now on it's side. Just his luck too, you opened the door to see him standing over the mess. His ears pinned back to his head as his tail stilled. He looked absolutely guilty. "Valko, what in the world?"

He didn't reply as you came in letting the door close behind you. Instead he chose to start picking up the mess he made. First he gently picked up the plant in his hands and looked to you. "Do you have another pot?"

You took the succulent from him and nodded before telling him where the broom was. You went out onto the balcony to repot the little green guy. When you came back inside Valko had the mess cleaned away. Now he was standing with his tail wagging happily. You crossed your arms and gave him a quizzical look. "I see you came here to wait for me and apparently make a mess while you are at it."

"It is what dogs do when they are left alone for too long." You could almost see him pout despite his playful remark.

"Good pups wait patiently."

"Well in my defense I was-"

"By sneaking in?"

He ignored your interruption, "until my tail acted of it's own accord not to mention I saw you had some dishes and took care of them."

"Oh so you weren't a bad pup?"

His eyes lit up at that. He leaned in and of course took the chance to smell you. "I am a good one in fact."

"Hmmm I don't know. Prove it."

He looked at you a little surprised, but he gave a wide smile. "How?"

"I think some pampering will do." You sat on the couch and propped up your feet. "A foot rub." He smiled just a little wider at that.

"Anything for you, master" he teased. He kneeled down and began taking off your boots. He slid each one off carefully. What you didn't expect was him smelling them!

"Valko! Don't do that." You leaned forward trying to grab your shoes from him. He simply pulls back his nose still inside the opening.

"Why?" He asks it so innocently like he doesn't know how weird he is acting.

"Because it's gross."

"Oh so your feet are gross and yet you want me to rub them?"

"That's not-" you are rendered speechless. He chuckles, but sets your boots aside.

"Don't worry I'll still rub your stinky feet." You shoot him a glare as he begins to rub one of your feet. Your socks allows for a little separation from your likely sweaty feet now that you think about it. You wondered if you should let him continue.

"Well you can't complain after sniffing my boots like a bed of roses."

He hums in response. His thumb presses into your arch with just the right amount of pressure. You relaxed into the couch as his motions eased your aching feet. Soon enough you had started to drift in and out.

"Pup you going to sleep on me?"

You don't respond on the edge of sleep, you don't even catch his words.

When you wake up you are in your bed, alone. You groan as you stretch and check your phone. A message from Valko. Left a little gift for you in the living room.

You smile and pad out to the living room. You look around, but can't find it. You ask him where.

Top shelf.

You look at your shelves and there on the top one is a framed picture of Valko...smelling your boots. That little freak!

[sereneflutter]

[sereneflutter]

People have been theorising on when Lads/infold/papergames will make an update and time will tell, but I am thinking after the 7th if we keep boycotting and making noise. I am saying rn by the 9th if there is no update i am crying again. Lol