What's it like to be a Sergio?
It's one of the best things in the whole wide world
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@sergiospectacles
What's it like to be a Sergio?
It's one of the best things in the whole wide world
Check this out. Carlita
FUCK.
This is just what I have written today. I will probably have more by tomorrow.
Untitled song.
Some days we just need some reassurance.
When we met I said I was 85 percent full of bad jokes. You never asked me what the other 15 was before you left. It's what ifs.
Heroes are not meant to survive.
sleeplessness
Some nights I feel inundated, and I can't sleep at all. It's not one thing or two things. It's my entire world.
I decided that after all the mistakes I made, I could no longer stand idly by and just watch people suffer and hurt. So I made it my job to help people. It's what I do for a living. I travel all over the place now, and I meet all sorts of people. Make relationships with them, and make them feel like there is absolutely nothing in the world that can stop them from achieving their goals. Always walking this path with them, never letting myself think that I am better in any way. I get in the mud with them, and don't hesitate about it at all.
I can't sit alone doing nothing, because that's when It starts catching up to me. So I have to constantly be doing things, or hanging out with people. So you can tell how dreadful it is for me to try and go to sleep. Sitting alone in a dark room all by myself, it can be an intimidating thing. So I try to find projects or random things to keep me awake until I can't keep my eyes open any longer. It comes off as a little weird most of the time, but it keeps me from me.
Truth is, I try to keep myself busy doing things with my job, or with company; so that I can just keep myself from thinking too much. Thinking about myself, and about my mistakes. Thinking about things that could have been, and things that never will be. I guess I'm just running away from myself, and I'm really hoping that I don't catch up.
So, I am sorry. Sorry to the people I have hurt, and the people I will hurt. Sorry for the negativity that I convey at times, and for the lack of hope that I so tend to have. The one apology that is long overdue, is an apology to myself. Sorry me, for being such a shitty you.
I understand today, that I have to face the things that I ran away from. I have to look at what I have done and where I am now because of it. I understand that I did not make the best choices in the past, and that I do regret them. But I don't regret who I turned out to be in light of them. I know that I cannot be the perfect guy, but I can try my hardest. I can protect the people I love, and the people that need me the most. I can help the ones who need that helping hand and ask for a mending touch. I can stop running and let myself be whole.
This moment.. this exact second.. I feel peace like I have never felt before.
If you have gotten this far and you are currently reading this, Jessica. I want to say thank you for being there for me, even for the stupidest thing. I'm sorry I didn't talk with you about any of this. I just felt like I had to take care of myself tonight. Sorry I lied to you, but you know Rule #1.
THUSNELDA.
I Guess that's a new one! Never really met someone names thunselda... Glad to meet you though! Now I have a story next time someone asks me about that name!! =D
Doo eeeeet
How come your blog looks cooler than mine? its not fair... help me make mine pretty please.
I have no Idea what you mean!! My blog looks like a big old mess! haha
My mind (Right Now)
You,
I still remember when you came along. You told me everything was going to be fine.. You said that there was no physical force on this earth that could tear us apart. Then you went as far as to say that you loved me. You said that it would last forever and you said that it would never die. You promised that you would always be by my side, no matter what happened; and you even said you would die for me. You said that when we kissed it felt like the first time. Then one day you disappeared. I thought you were coming back, but you didn't. You took my heart, and fixed it. Made me believe every single word that you said, and then you broke it. I just want you to know, it is because of you that I have grown. It is because of the pain that you brought into my life, that I was able to understand what I really wanted out of life. It is this pain that made me understand that my time will one day come. Perhaps you lied to me, and never meant anything you said, or maybe you did. Either way I thank you for letting me experience what for me was the best relationship I ever had, and for giving me the toughest lesson I had to learn. On the 31st of last month it would have been our anniversary. So this is for all the things that could have been, and never were.
Cheers,
Me