Hi i cant believe I still have access to this account? I've been getting back into art lately and I thought to check it out and holy shit it's all here lol
I'm probably not going to be active on here again but since I logged back in and I've had a few messages since I left I thought to do a life update in case anyone comes across this relic of a blog (for whatever reason lmfao)
trauma dump warning lmao, mentions of like depression, EDs, alcohol, grooming, just all that heavy stuff in general idk if i missed anything, but i promise there's a wholesome ending lmfao it gets better
i'm still not sure why I quit tumblr it's not like I was posting nsfw stuff so I don't know why I participated in the great exodus at the time💀 I think I just wanted an excuse to quit tbh, I was like burnt out or something
I think the real reason was bc my life was in a really bad place at that point, I was struggling with alcohol and what i've come to realise was an eating disorder
but the main issue is I was in a toxic relationship that made me hate my art, made me hate myself, made me feel less than and like everything that I liked was cringe and childish (undertale, anime, basically everything that brought me joy) and he was 5 years older than me too (I was 18 he was 23) so uhh... canon event I guess? every girl has that one groomer ex don't they 😭
Aaaand I was also estranged from my family, I had basically run away from home to go live in a crack den in a city on the literal opposite end of the country and get drunk every single day, I wasn't talking to my family, I didn't have any friends, and the cherry on top was that the pandemic started like 3 months after I got into that situation, and THEN I started online uni, so yeah I just had a lot of shit going on lmfao
probably the biggest red flag is that I was running a discord server at the time so thats how you KNOW I was at rock bottom lmao
anyway that's enough trauma dump, so what have I been up to since the crack den, covid, and groomer boyfriend? I'll try to keep it short as it's already quite heavy and long uhhhhh soooo (proceeds to not keep it short at all):
I quit alcohol thankfully, and moved into a nice(r) home eventually (aka like last year 💀)
I got rid of the groomer bf, and started talking to my family and friends againnnn
still working on the eating disorder thing, uni did not help and just morphed it from a restrictive ED to a binging ED and I've gained a ton of weight bc of it but we ball ✌🏼i'm doing better and I feel like i'm starting to have a healthy relationship with food for like... the first time in my entire life
btw I am now 25 (unc)
I graduated uni this last summer yaya
i got married like almost 2 years ago (???!?!?!?) to my lovely perfect amazing handsome husband whom I met 4 years ago, we were LDR for a while until he finally came to live with me almost 2 years ago!
I have a dog now :) not like a puppy he is like really old (my husband's dog) im so happy i've never had a dog before and he is my son x
no human babies or anything like that yet, but hopefully soon! I barely finished uni after all lmao
i'm still drawing and i've continued drawing all this time, albeit not as much as I used to
I've got into writing and fabric art, i've kind of been focusing on that instead more than digital art or illustration tbh
btw i've never gone pro with art or anything like that, if anyone ever thought that I was going to lmfao, it was never my plan to begin with, I went into compsci instead and that's what my degree is in :)
I am in therapy if you were wondering lmfao, necessary after *gestures* all of this
Yea that's about uhh yea thanks to like all the 100 or so probably inactive people that are still following me that is so nice of you I love you, this is me haunting your feed one last time
here's a little shitty drawing of my family bc why not :)
Hi i cant believe I still have access to this account? I've been getting back into art lately and I thought to check it out and holy shit it's all here lol
I'm probably not going to be active on here again but since I logged back in and I've had a few messages since I left I thought to do a life update in case anyone comes across this relic of a blog (for whatever reason lmfao)
trauma dump warning lmao, mentions of like depression, EDs, alcohol, grooming, just all that heavy stuff in general idk if i missed anything, but i promise there's a wholesome ending lmfao it gets better
i'm still not sure why I quit tumblr it's not like I was posting nsfw stuff so I don't know why I participated in the great exodus at the time💀 I think I just wanted an excuse to quit tbh, I was like burnt out or something
I think the real reason was bc my life was in a really bad place at that point, I was struggling with alcohol and what i've come to realise was an eating disorder
but the main issue is I was in a toxic relationship that made me hate my art, made me hate myself, made me feel less than and like everything that I liked was cringe and childish (undertale, anime, basically everything that brought me joy) and he was 5 years older than me too (I was 18 he was 23) so uhh... canon event I guess? every girl has that one groomer ex don't they 😭
Aaaand I was also estranged from my family, I had basically run away from home to go live in a crack den in a city on the literal opposite end of the country and get drunk every single day, I wasn't talking to my family, I didn't have any friends, and the cherry on top was that the pandemic started like 3 months after I got into that situation, and THEN I started online uni, so yeah I just had a lot of shit going on lmfao
probably the biggest red flag is that I was running a discord server at the time so thats how you KNOW I was at rock bottom lmao
anyway that's enough trauma dump, so what have I been up to since the crack den, covid, and groomer boyfriend? I'll try to keep it short as it's already quite heavy and long uhhhhh soooo (proceeds to not keep it short at all):
I quit alcohol thankfully, and moved into a nice(r) home eventually (aka like last year 💀)
I got rid of the groomer bf, and started talking to my family and friends againnnn
still working on the eating disorder thing, uni did not help and just morphed it from a restrictive ED to a binging ED and I've gained a ton of weight bc of it but we ball ✌🏼i'm doing better and I feel like i'm starting to have a healthy relationship with food for like... the first time in my entire life
btw I am now 25 (unc)
I graduated uni this last summer yaya
i got married like almost 2 years ago (???!?!?!?) to my lovely perfect amazing handsome husband whom I met 4 years ago, we were LDR for a while until he finally came to live with me almost 2 years ago!
I have a dog now :) not like a puppy he is like really old (my husband's dog) im so happy i've never had a dog before and he is my son x
no human babies or anything like that yet, but hopefully soon! I barely finished uni after all lmao
i'm still drawing and i've continued drawing all this time, albeit not as much as I used to
I've got into writing and fabric art, i've kind of been focusing on that instead more than digital art or illustration tbh
btw i've never gone pro with art or anything like that, if anyone ever thought that I was going to lmfao, it was never my plan to begin with, I went into compsci instead and that's what my degree is in :)
I am in therapy if you were wondering lmfao, necessary after *gestures* all of this
Yea that's about uhh yea thanks to like all the 100 or so probably inactive people that are still following me that is so nice of you I love you, this is me haunting your feed one last time
here's a little shitty drawing of my family bc why not :)
