Adventure of a Slave and his Mistress

Follow me through my days of serving my mistress and pleasing her.

[submissivefeminist]

A major part of many kinky dynamics is a focus on discipline. While “discipline” can be a fun part of your everyday activities, it can also mean something more specific in terms of punishment. “Punishment” differs from the general sense of discipline in that it has a specific goal to focus on that changes a submissive’s behaviour.

Many people engage in what can be called “funishment,”–punishment-type activities, like regular spankings or other forms of play, that are not meant to alter the behaviour of the submissive but rather to provide enjoyment to either/both/all parties. However, it is important to distinguish the difference between playful discipline and serious punishments. Punishments are consequences of negative actions, whether this is based on officially-written regulations or unspoken general behaviours like brattiness, defiance, or dangerous behaviours.

The idea of punishment is based largely on psychological research in the area of behaviourism. It consists of techniques that are supported by science to effectively alter the behaviour of an individual. (If you want to learn more about the research behind punishments, look up B. F. Skinner’s work in this area.)

Two types of punishments exist: positive punishments, which add undesired consequences to the behaviour, and negative punishments, which take away desired privileges.

Now, before I get into some specific ideas for punishments, there are some important key points I’d like to make. Please be sure to read all of these before deciding on a specific punishment.

Punishments do NOT negate the right to a safeword. Some people are mislead into dangerous situations by being told they cannot safeword during a punishment. This is completely untrue. All parties have a right to safeword at any time during any kind of play or punishment. Taking away the right to safeword equates to abuse, plain and simple. Don’t ever tell your partner they cannot safeword or ignore their safeword for the sake of punishment. This is not effective and is extremely harmful to your partner’s mental and/or physical well-being. 

NEVER punish out of anger. Anger is never a healthy motivation for punishment. Punishments are meant for the submissive’s benefit, at the core. If the submissive’s behaviour has made the Dominant angry, they should have a cooling-off period where they can calm down, think about an appropriate punishment, and resolve the matter at a later time, after healthy discussion about what happened.

Limits are NOT to be used as punishments. Many people have activities they don’t particularly enjoy that aren’t on their limits list. Some people have specific ideas for punishments that suit them best. However, regardless of you or your partner’s experience with punishments, it needs to be understood that hard limits are not punishments. Hard limits are never to be used for punishment’s sake because “hard limit” means “I do not want to do this under any circumstance.” Using a hard limit as a punishment would be an abusive act, as hard limits come with an automatic safeword attached, since they are specificly stated as things the person does not feel comfortable with. Never, ever, threaten or use hard limits to punish a submissive. 

Use healthy discretion. This one should seem obvious, but don’t follow through with punishments if rule-breaking was out of the submissive’s control. Say the submissive has a 11PM bedtime, but they recently suffered a trauma or loss and can’t sleep. Let them engage in healthy coping skills instead of punishing them for something they aren’t doing on purpose. Above all else, make safety and well-being a priority.

Make the punishment fit the crime. Punishments that are relative to the defiance are much more effective at changing the behaviour than random punishments. For example, if the submissive cums without permission, try a punishment from the “orgasm control” section. This will better reinforce the reasoning in the submissive and more effectively guide them to make better choices in the future. There are also punishments that work best for specific dynamics like for littles or pets, so be sure to read into those, below.

Aftercare is absolutely required. Like any kind of play, aftercare is required at the end of the scene. This is especially important during punishments because often times, the submissive is consumed with feelings of guilt and disappointment. After a punishment, Dominants need to give their submissives aftercare that includes a conversation about why they were punished, how proud the Dominant is for them taking the punishment so well, and that there are no negative feelings between them. The submissive should leave the punishment scene feeling forgiven for their mistakes and proud of themselves for making things right with their Dominant. Do not leave your submissive alone after a punishment without aftercare, ever! This is highly abusive and can seriously harm your partner.

Humiliation

A great way to get a submissive to stay in line is to humiliate them when they’ve done something wrong. There are several ways to go about this, depending on your dynamic and kinks, but it’s an effective and amusing way to get the message across. 

Clothing Restriction

Clothing restriction can be done both domestically and in public. Restriction can be as much as not allowing any clothing (in legal or private settings), ordering a certain amount of skin be showing, or choosing a specific outfit or collar for the submissive. For shy submissives, clothing restriction can be intense. This is an especially good punishment for submissives who have said negative comments about their bodies.

Diapering

For ABDL or little submissives, this can either be a reward or a punishment. Depending on the comfort level with diapers, they can be used as a punishment that ties into humiliation. Making them relieve themselves in only the diaper for a set amount of time or wearing it around the house as their only clothing can be very humiliating for some people.

Sissification

Sissification is a kink that is most common in submissive men. It’s the act of dolling a man up like a girl and humiliating him based on his presentation as such. This can be very effective for some people but can be very problematic to others. Be careful not to use this kink as punishment with trans or gender non-conforming subs without their explicit consent, as it can very easily trigger dysphoria and cause severe emotional problems. 

Public Humiliation

Public humiliation can be done in any subtle way that embarrasses a submissive without breaking any obvious laws. Some examples include making them wear an anal plug or remote-controlled vibrator to dinner, public leashing, or making them kneel at social gatherings. Work this idea into the submissive’s specific kinks and limits to be sure it’s just enough to embarrass them, without making them unbearably uncomfortable.

Orgasm Control

Orgasm control is simply that–controlling the submissive’s orgasms. Most of these types of punishments are used for submissives who break rules about orgasms, be it without permission or when they were told not to touch themselves. Controlling orgasms is an amusing way to teach the submissive who their orgasms belong to.

Edging

Edging is the act of getting your partner right to the edge of orgasm, then denying them release. This can be done multiple times, even in short amounts of time. It’s a little psychological torture, best for those who cum without permission.

Toy Restriction

For a submissive, like myself, who is accustomed to using toys during masturbation or play, toy restriction is a very effective punishment. This is especially good for submissives who have a difficult time reaching orgasm without toys, as it makes things very frustrating very quickly. An evil punishment may even combine toy restrictions with a quota of orgasms for the day that they must reach in order to get off restriction. Desperation will sink in very quickly and this lesson will be easily learned.

Forced Orgasms

Forced orgasm is another great punishment for submissives who cum without permission. It turns a great sensation into a torturous experience very quickly. This is especially great with toys like the Hitachi or a Sybian. Focus on a goal–either for number of orgasms, or a specific amount of time. An hour spent riding a Hitachi can really be the most agonizing thing for some people due to heightened sensitivity after each orgasm. 

Denial

Denial is the complete opposite of forced orgasms. It’s like edging, but there is no orgasm at the end of the scene. This can be doing while using toys and not allowing the person to orgasm or it can be done by restriction orgasms or even touching oneself for a longer period of time.

Chastity

Chastity, much like denial, is the refusal of orgasms. However, with chastity, the submissive is completely unable to touch themselves, even if they wanted to. Devices for people with penises and vaginas are available to purchase online to assure your submissive is following orders properly.

Domestic Discipline

Domestic discipline includes things that can be done within the home. Some of these include behaviour modifications or restrictions. While some of these can be done outside the home, these are good examples of things for couples who live together can do for punishments.

Chores

Chores not only benefit the entire household, but they can also be an effective punishment for unruly subs. Added chores can be especially fun if you make her clean the bathroom with a toothbrush or make him do dishes with nipple clamps on. Combine with other punishments for your amusement!

Furniture Restriction

Especially fun for people into pet-play, furniture restriction involves limiting where the submissive can sit or lie down. Require that they sit on the ground instead of the couches or sleep on the floor next to the bed if they’ve been defiant.

Caging

Another good one for pets, especially. Caging can be used to make the submissive reflect on their reasons for being punished. Be sure to use a cage small enough to confine them, but still large enough so they aren’t going to hurt themselves by spending too much time in the cage.

Bedtime

A great one for littles! Bedtimes are good for college students who don’t do their homework, or easily distracted adults with work to do. Set up rules that require all obligations get done and enforce an early bedtime to be sure they are well-rested (and easily frustrated) when they don’t follow these rules.

Time-Out

Another punishment for reflection. Time-outs are good for brats and littles because it makes them analyze what they did wrong. Put them in a corner or a special “time-out chair” so they know they are being punished. Increase the time or add in other punishments if they break rules more than once.

Sensory Deprivation

Sensory deprivation is a lot like time-out, but can be used for added psychological torment. Plug the submissive’s ears or use headphones, blindfold them, bind them to a bed or chair, and completely ignore them for a set about of time. This desensitizes them and not only makes them reflect on their reasons for punishment, but makes it very uncomfortable, assuring they won’t want to end up in isolation again.

Objectification

Objectification is fun for Dominants who like their submissives in service to them during punishment. Make them kneel and become your footstool or coffee table while you watch TV or catch up on work. This is even better when you make them do it completely naked and/or in front of guests.

Dietary Restriction

If a submissive has done something against the rules, you can make them follow a strict diet. This is especially useful for those using behaviour modification to lose or gain weight. However, be careful to ensure the submissive is still getting enough nutrition. For littles, see how much they want to be a brat after you take away their dessert privilege. For pets, try making them eat out of a bowl on the floor for each meal.

Speech Restriction

For disrespectful submissives, punish them by taking away their right to a personal pronoun, making them refer to themselves as “this girl,” “Your slut,” “Master’s puppy boy,” or anything else you want to use. You can also make it a rule that they must refer to you by your Dominant title at all times, even in public. Having to remember their restrictions on speech will keep them thinking about their punishment all day.

Corporal Punishment

Corporal punishment is enforcement by physical contact. These types of punishments involve pain, which is a tricky subject for punishing. Typically, pain punishments don’t work as well to change behaviour, especially if the submissive is also a masochist. Be sure to carefully choose what kind of pain if you’re going with one of these methods.

Impact

If your submissive likes thuddy pain, use stingy pain. If they like stingy pain, use thuddy. Push their limits carefully, but make it clear this is a punishment and not for fun. Have them apologize as you strike them. Tell them why they are being punished and make it clear that they are to be good and learn from their mistakes. 

Rice Kneeling

Kneeling on uncooked rice is an age-old technique that leaves painful marks. Be careful with time, as this can scar if done for long periods of time or used constantly. Be present during this to be sure the submissive can take it and listen carefully for safewords. Use this as a time out or have them recite an apology to you as you do this.

Figging

Figging is done by carving a plug out of ginger and inserting into the anus. This causes a stinging pain that ranges in intensity depending on the person. Frozen ginger is a milder form of this punishment.

Writing Assignments

Writing assignments are usually meant to bore a submissive into obedience. Whether it’s writing lines or a random homework assignment, the punishment focuses on making it undesirable for the submissive to misbehave.

Lines

Writing lines is effective if you use it reflectively. For example, for a submissive who is disrespectful, you can have him write, “I will always be polite around my Sir,” a hundred times. For a submissive who cums without permission, you can order, “I will ask permission from Mistress before I cum,” until they fill up five pages. What’s even more fun is making them be stuffed with a toy or on their knees with nipple clamps on while they write.

Apology Letter

An apology letter is a simple task meant to make the submissive think about what they have done, analyze why it was wrong, and have them apologize formally by writing it down. Have them read their letter to you our loud or crumple it up and put in their their underwear for that added perk of remembering all day that they were punished.

Essay

An essay is a good assignment for submissives who don’t seem to understand their rules. Make them come up with reasons as to why these rules are in place and write a formal essay about the reasoning and purpose of these rules. Making them analyze the fact that this is for their benefit will remind them that rules are not just there to be mean, but to guide them to healthier behaviour.

Homework

Especially fun for people with school girl or teacher fantasies, assign a random homework assignment. Ever wonder about a certain subject but never have time to actually research it? Assign a paper to your submissive about a subject of your choosing and have them report back to you–because knowledge is power! Grade their paper and reward/punish again as necessary for the quality of their work.

It’s important to remember that reinforcements are also important in addition to punishments. When your submissive follows directions, reward them. Give them a treat or praise them and thank them for being so good. If you mix positive reinforcement with punishments when necessary, they’re sure to be trained in no time!

xx SF

[amber-wine-writes-deactivated20]

I get a lot of questions from dominants who find themselves unable to effectively punish their submissive because, most of the time, their submissive ends up enjoying the punishment too much. We call these “funishments” which are great for adding some spice to a scene, but not so great when actual behavioural modification is required. The above is an article that appeared on my feed today that I feel is a good summary of some of the techniques that dominants can use to correct their submissives. Enjoy!

[boobsbraidsandbruises]

Reblogging for reference.

[serveandgratitude]

Something more for mistress to try.

[toptobottombdsm]

101+ Ideas to Make Your Slave Feel Owned

http://www.submissiveloving.com/101things.html

One of the main factors, for me in feeling truly Owned is to be constantly reminded throughout the day of Master’s control. These reminders can be subtle or really obtrusive. The more often a slave is reminded of their submission, the deeper it becomes….and the more fulfilling. So here are some ideas you might want to try. And no matter what rules you decide to make on your own, please be consistent. If you’re unwilling to take the time to enforce the rules you make, then there may as well be no rules at all. There is nothing in the world that will make a slave feel less loved than to have a Master/Mistress who ignores their transgressions and does not exert their Dominance.

1. Have them wear slave bells. The constant soft jingling of the bells is soothing and a certain reminder of their submission.

2. When they have broken a rule, talk to them as you punish….and make them speak in detail about why what they  did was wrong.

3. Make them take their shoes off every day as soon as they enters your house.

4. A beautiful, special collar will make any slave joyous. Take the time to select the right one and have them wear it as often as possible.

5. Have them call you each day at a specified time, no excuses.

6. Give them anklets and tell them they must wear one of them every day, no excuses.

7. Whenever possible (i.e. no curious young-uns about), have them kneel before you and ask to accompany you upon the furniture.

8. Choose their hairstyle and go with them to get it cut to your specifications.

9. Whenever possible (i.e. no curious young-uns about), have them display themselves whenever you come into the room…..legs spread, shirt unbuttoned. No matter what position you take, they are to be sure your view is unobstructed.

10. When around the kids or vanilla friends/family, make sure they has an alternative title for you besides Master…..such as “my Love” etc.

11. Use them sexually in a rough, selfish way when you feel like it, interrupting whatever they were doing.

12. Choose a food that they dislike and have them eat a small portion every day for a week.

13. Have them crawl to bed each night.

14. Bring them a stuffed animal each time you go out of town. ~grin~

15. Choose their clothing each day.

16. Have them get your daily wardrobe ready for you the night before; laid out, ironed etc.

17. After punishment, have them kiss your boots and thank you for loving them enough to correct them.

18. Have them bring a warm towel to wash and massage your feet each day after work.

19. Get them tattooed (your choice of art and location).

20. Get them pierced (or preferably if you are trained, do it yourself).

21. Get them branded.

22. Respect, but push their limits.

23. Ask them each night what they did that day that you would not have approved of. *grin* This gets them in the habit of being completely honest and also makes them conscious of the things they could do better each day.

24. Teach them exactly how you want them to kneel and demand perfection.

25. Reward them by allowing them to please you sexually.

26. Supervise them workout routine.

27. Each night they are to kneel next to the bed asking permission to sleep with their Master, and each night they do, they are to kneel by the bed in the morning and thank their Master for the privilege.

28. Have them polish your boots weekly, on their knees at your feet.

29. Negotiate until you are both comfortable with the terms and then sign a contract.

30. Give them a writing assignment: “The definition of Pain – 1000 words”

31. Have them keep a diary of their journey into submission.

32. Instruct them that they may never get themselves something to eat or drink in your presence without first asking you if you want something.

33. Some evenings, keep them on a leash and take them with you no matter what you do, even if you do not speak to them or include them in your activities.

34. When appropriate, they are to speak when spoken to.

35. Reward them by giving them delicious pleasure.

36. On occasion, share them.

37. When it suits you, instruct them not to make eye contact with you without your command.

38. Have them keep their body clean shaven at all times.

39. Conduct random inspections of their body to make sure they keep themselves to your specifications.

40. Make them wear a butt-plug under their clothes whenever they go out alone.

41. For transgressions: have them write your name on the bottom of their foot and tell them to remember they are walking on you with each step. (This is harder to do that you might think….)

42. Master the art of the meaningful piercing stare…..

43. Give them reading assignments.

44. Test them on the reading assignments, to make sure they learned the appropriate lessons from each.

45. Instruct them to keep their toenails painted perfectly everyday and check to see that they are before bed

46. Make it their responsibility to put the toys away after play and punishment and to keep them clean and neat.

47. Reward them by letting them name their favorite scene, toys, etc.

48. Call them your slut, your pet, etc.

49. Have them make a list of the 10 things that make them the most self-conscious, uncomfortable or embarrassed.

50. Work with them, having them do the things on the list (if possible), so that they conquer those fears and hesitations.

51. Pamper them. Wash their body and hair, having them remain perfectly still as you turn them and move them about.

52. Hand feed them like a small child on occasion.

53. Have them eat from a dog bowl on occasion.

54. For transgressions: make them wear a sign to the next public function naming their crime. (ouch)

55. Praise their dedication when they have pleased you well.

56. Instruct them that they are never to touch your body without permission.

57. Have them write a meditation about their submission, devotion and trust in you….to be said aloud each night before falling asleep.

58. Some days allow them no clothing whatsoever (when practical).

59. For transgressions: deny them play.

60. For transgressions: deny them orgasm.

61. For transgressions: Command that they are to be silent for a week. They may not speak and will take whatever pain or pleasure you give as silently as possible.

62. Treat them like a pet in front of friends, making them present themselves, turn themselves, etc.

63. Give them a writing assignment: “The definition of Obedience – 1000 words”

64. Have them wear a toe ring.

65. Tell them one morning that they must cum for you 15 times that day and then write about the day.

66. Have them wear nipple clamps under their clothing out to dinner.

67. On your birthday, let them receive your spankings.

68. Spend time training them how to move gracefully to please you.

69. For transgressions: stand them in the corner like a 3 year old.

70. Always flog them after completion of a task, even if it was satisfactory. A well flogged slave is a happy slave.

71. Speak about them as if they were not present.

72. For transgressions: deny them any D/s at all for a week; letting them do just as they please, not allowing them to serve you in any way, no punishment, no instruction, no play, banning titles of respect, etc. This will shame them and certainly make them strive to please you when it is over and they are in their place again.

73. Defend their honor to those who would disrespect your prized possession.

74. Pet them often.

75. Have them be a camgirl/boy for a night.

76. Whenever possible (i.e. no young-uns about), have them sleep in a cage.

77. Buy them sexy or slutty clothes to your liking.

78. Teach them things, expand their knowledge in a patient parental way.

79. When you are away, call them and have them masturbate for you.

80. If you choose to play with others, make sure your slave knows who is first in your heart and that some things are just for them.

81. Remember their birthday.

82. Lead them with a loving fist in their hair.

83. Wake them each morning with an assigned task for the day and make sure it is done by day’s end.

84. Teach them patience.

85. Videotape your sessions and watch them together.

86. On long trips, have them wear double dildo latex underwear.

87. Hand feed them chocolate.

88. Have them place their regular wear shoes in a line by the front door. They should be in a straight line with the laces tucked inside, or the buckles buckled. Inspect them periodically.

89. Keep a list of their transgressions in a little book. Let them slip for a while, thinking you are not noticing, then one day bring out the book and have a day of atonement.

90. Tickle them just because you can.

91. Have them be perfectly still and quiet while you bring them extreme pleasure. When they move or make a sound punish them then return to the pleasure.

92. Keep them locked in their collar when you are home. You place it on them, having them kneel. Wear the key to the lock around your neck.

93. When possible, have them cook and serve your dinner wearing nothing but an apron and collar.

94. Buy them a Polaroid camera and give them assignments to take pictures of themselves for you in certain outfits or positions, etc.

95. Remember to kiss and caress away their tears.

96. Don’t be afraid to bring them to tears, for they are yours as well.

97. Take them and the dog to the park, both on leashes.

98. Caress them, whisper into their ear that you love them, nibble on their belly, lick their thighs and make love to them until they cry.

99. Have them fall asleep with your cock in their mouth and tell them you expect it to be there when you awake.

100. Occasionally, fulfill their fantasy.

101. Master’s word is the last word.

Addendum

102. Make sure that they are safe at all times. When with you and when you are apart (to the best of your ability). Keep their vehicle in good working order, make sure they have emergency money and a cell phone to call for help if needed.

103. Be consistent.

104. Take the time to talk to them. Learn their fears, their dreams and fantasies. Use your knowledge.

105. When you go out of town, forbid them to shave their genitalia. Shave them yourself when you return.

106. Specify exactly how they will address you in private and in public.

107. If you are willing to correct them each time they forget until it is a habit, have them refer to themselves as “this slave” or “this boy/girl/pet” etc.

[iwanttobeafirefly]

There are some good ideas. Communication and Respect are the keys.

[toptobottombdsm]

Couldn’t agree more

[devotionaltraining]

Devotional Training.

[serveandgratitude]

Lets hope mistress will practice this soon!

[flr-reading]

Femdom experiences, ideas, and suggestions

I’d like to share some experience, ideas, and tips I’ve put together after about 4 years of dominating my BF. This is all my personal experience, so it won’t apply to everyone.

Firstly, I need to share that we aren’t in a 24/7 Domme-sub relationship. That doesn’t interest me or my BF. My BF came to me about 4 ½ years ago and confessed some of his desires for femdom sex, and I decided to entertain it with him. It’s been a lot of fun, but I’m not making it a “lifestyle”, although we do have some “extended” sessions, which I’ll detail later in this post. Its something we do for fun in the bedroom (well, not always in the bedroom). We still have frequent “vanilla” sex, he’s actually quite good at it. :) That being said, I’m not here to pass judgement on anyone else, or pretend to be an expert on the subject of BDSM. My current BF is the only person I’ve played with like this, but we’ve learned a lot about femdom by experimenting, reading, and talking to each other. A good portion of these ideas and suggestions were his idea, and many are mine. Some may think that this is topping from the bottom, but I don’t take it too seriously. This is all just in good fun for us.

Also, even though I talk about some of the stuff below being “forced”, that’s not to imply he hasn’t consented. We always have a safeword, and we discuss generalities before we decide on trying something new (although I do definitely surprise him with new activities to push his limits). Also, keep safety in mind with any activity. Not all of this is safe for every couple or every person. So, with all that out of the way, lets get to it!

I approach femdom by classifying activities into 4 categories, then I put them together for an experience. The categories I use are: Degradation/Humiliation, Pain and Control, Frustration/Teasing, and Service. I’ll go over activities in each then describe how I put them together.

DEGRADATION/HUMILIATION 

This is a very fun category and can include a lot of different things. Here’s a list of activities that I enjoy inflicting on him.

Forced feminization - I frequently make him wear women’s clothing during our sessions. This can include lots of different outfits. Feel free to mix and match to your taste. Amazon is great for getting lingerie on a budget. I like to go with really girly colors and patterns for my guy. My favorites are:

High heels. These are an absolute necessity. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on these, but you might want more than one pair if you insist his outfits match.

Lingerie. This can include teddies, stockings, babydoll, fishnet dresses, etc.

Just a pair of panties. This makes him feel very exposed. I like ones that ride up his little butt (cheekies, thongs), but still cover his entire penis. Don’t let him wear anything else.

Pasties. This is very, very fun. Pasties are cheap, and not something you ever see a man wearing. A pair of high heels, pink thong, and some pasties is great outfit for him to wear while he cleans the bathroom for you.

Schoolgirl outfit. This is a classic, and can lead to some incredible role-playing situations. The skirt should be short enough you can see his little white panties peeking out without even bending over.

French Maid. Another classic, useful for the Service category I’ll go into later.

Makeup. This is a favorite activity. I love giving him a makeover. Super slutty makeup is the best and can be combined with any outfit.

Tight jeans, yoga pants, leggings. Pair these with a skin tight top and you’ve got a great outfit for lounging around the house.

Short shorts. These can be cut off jean type shorts, yoga style shorts, or anything you like. The shorter the better.

Corset. Use this to give him a girlish figure!

Women’s bodystocking. These are hilarious. They come in all kinds of patterns and colors, and are really cheap.

Halloween costumes. Great for any time of year! Amazon has cheap playboy bunny outfits, tinkerbell costumes, sexy nurse, etc. There are so many to choose from!

Pegging/dildo play - This falls into the pain category as well depending on your mood. I really feel that in order to make this act as degrading as possible, its important to get a dildo that looks and feels like a real penis. It should have balls and be a realistic skin tone. It should also be at least slightly bigger than his own penis (within reason). A big aspect that makes pegging so humiliating is the mental side to it. Obviously, there’s some physical to it as well, but just being forced to “deal” with a dick is mortifying to most straight men. Some activities involving your strapon or dildo:

Deepthroat training. Let’s eliminate that gag reflex ladies! Seriously one of the most degrading things you can do to your man is fucking his face. I like to recreate positions from porn in this activity. Relax on the couch or chair while wearing your strapon. Put him on his knees and make him get to work. If he’s not going deep enough grab his hair and force his face down on that dick! Trust me, he can take it. Don’t be gentle. Make sure he maintains eye contact like a good little porn star! I also like to have him lay on his back on the bed or couch, with his head hanging over the side and cram my dick down his throat. Do this until he gags, over and over, he’ll be drooling all over himself soon enough. Have him lie down on his back, then straddle his upper chest/neck area so the only thing you can see is his face. Put your dildo in his mouth and jackhammer that thing down his throat. Don’t be scared of hurting him, even if your dildo is on the large side of realistic. he’ll eventually be able to take it balls deep. He might complain that it doesn’t fit. Well, its your job to MAKE it fit. Yes he’s going to cough and gag, a lot, yes he’s going to have a lot of drool and mucus coming out of his mouth. That’s OK. Don’t be deterred by any sounds, drool, or complaints. Also give him instructions and compliments when appropriate (“yeah, show me your tongue” “hands behind your back and open wide bitch” “give me that throat” “that’s a good little cocksucker”)

EDIT: I’ve received several questions about this point. I’ll clarify exactly what were doing here and why. When I make him suck my dildo, I’m not getting any physical pleasure out of it and neither is he. This is not meant to be physically pleasurable to us, it’s meant to make him feel like my bitch. When you do this, make it an ordeal he needs to suffer through. When he’s on his knees in front of you, fuck his mouth hard and fast. Really make an effort to get your entire dildo down his throat as you thrust in and out. Make him suffer here for quite some time, 5, 10, 15 minutes even. Don’t let him get away with pulling his head away or anything either. Make him keep your dick in his mouth, see how long you can keep it buried balls deep in his mouth, lock your legs around his head if necessary. His jaw and throat should be very sore after this ordeal, and his face should be a mess of slobber and spit. Once he can take your whole dildo down his throat without gagging, its time to upgrade to something longer and/or thicker. Your goal should be to have him performing at THIS LEVEL and he won’t get there without proper training.

Butt fucking. Work up to this using your fingers, plugs (he should wear a large sized one for a while before a pegging session), and other toys, but eventually your goal should be forceful pounding. Make him feel what its like to really get fucked. While pegging him, yank his hair, push his face down into the bed or floor, slap his ass. Be creative with positions and locations. One of my favorites is the tile kitchen floor, he doesn’t have to be comfortable while getting fucked. Use lots and lots of lube here, it makes getting your dick in a lot easier on both of you.

Dildo masturbation. Make him suck and fuck himself with a dildo or other toys for your amusement. This one can be done with very minimal effort on your part. Just give him a toy, order him to the corner, and tell him to get it up his ass.

Using other objects to fuck him with. This can be a lot of fun, but be careful. Some items I’ve fucked him with: Beer bottle, drumsticks, vodka bottle,

Forced Nudity - This one is simple, but you can spice it up with toys if you like. Simply order him to be naked while you remain clothed. If you like, make him wear a butt plug that you can smack and wiggle around while he gets you a drink. Put a collar on him if you want, or combine this with forced feminization from above (for example make him wear only high heels, lipstick, and a chastity cage for the evening). Sometimes its fun to combine this with pegging. I’ll strap my dick on over my jeans, while he’s completely naked. Its a very humbling experience for him. I also frequently have him sleep naked.

Forced Performances. This is very entertaining and again a low-effort humiliation. Sometimes I like to put on some music and have him dance for me. I’ll make him perform a little strip tease, twerk, etc. Sometimes I will have him masturbate for me. I’ll give directions. (these are great times for video recording)

Spitting. We’re getting a little more extreme here. Don’t be afraid to spit on your male. This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training. While he’s making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face. He’ll love you for it! It can also be degrading while you’re criticizing his performance to spit in his face.

Golden showers. We haven’t worked our way up to here yet, and to be honest, I don’t know if I want to. Something we have tried in this area though, making him lick me clean after I take a piss.

Verbal humiliation (Disclaimer: Talk to your partner about this first if you’re worried about crossing a line with him, because this can be emotionally charged.) I really like this, and to me, there are two components. 1. You degrading him with words. 2. Making him degrade himself with words.

You degrading him.

Name calling. Call him degrading names. This can include the following: Bitch, sissy, cunt, slut, whore, piece of shit, stupid, worthless.

Penis humiliation/emasculation. This is common on femdom porn sites. Make fun of the size of his dick, his sexual ability, the things he lets you do to him, etc. Terms like shrimp-dick, bitch boy, butt boy, fuck-hole, cum eater, cum dumpster, cocksucker, limp dick. etc.

Combine insults. Example: “You’re a little limp dick cocksucker.” “You’re a little cum eating bitch, aren’t you?”

Being forceful and insulting with your directions. Example: Instead of saying “get on your knees and suck my dick”, say “Get on your fucking knees and get this dick down your throat you little bitch.” Instead of using his name and telling him to bend over the kitchen table for his pegging, say something like, “Hey shrimp-dick! Get in here, bend over the table and get fucked.” Instead of saying come here and lick my pussy say “get over here and make me cum you little piece of shit”.

Tell him what you’re going to do to him later. Send him a text letting him know you’re going to make him eat your pussy and send him away hard and frustrated.

Order him to do things for you. *MOST IMPORTANTLY: Don’t be afraid to raise your voice, or even yell. Its encouraged in this situation that you will be very forceful with your voice. Yell in his face if he isn’t licking your pussy correctly. Yell in his face after you cum and tell him to get the fuck off the bed and do the dishes.

Making him degrade himself. This can be really fun.

Make him beg. Use this for anything, make him beg to fuck you, beg you to peg him, beg you to let him masturbate, beg you to let him eat his cum, beg you to spank him, etc. It doesn’t even have to be something he wants. The key to this though, is to make sure his begging meets your standards. If you don’t believe he really wants it, punish him and make him try again, and again until you really believe him.

Make him apologize. Maybe the orgasm he gave you was mediocre. Maybe he didn’t take your dildo up his ass with enough enthusiasm. Maybe when you told him to deepthroat your strapon, he couldn’t get his nose to touch your stomach like you insisted. He should be punished for such infractions, but he should also tell you how sorry he is first. (maybe after his punishment too.) Make sure he apologizes sincerely for any shortcomings. Shit, sometimes I make him apologize for having a small dick (even though he doesn’t).

Make him thank you. Did you let him have an orgasm? Did you fuck his little butthole really well? Did you let him lick your asshole? He needs to thank you for the privlege.

Make him confess. Make him tell you his fantasies. This works especially well if you have him on the edge of orgasm. Make him confess a deep, dark fantasy that he’s never told anyone before. (He’ll probably run out of ideas at some point, you can punish him for that)

Public Play. There are some really fun ways you can take this play out of the house for some really great humiliation that doesn’t involve violating other people boundaries.

Clothes shopping. I enjoy taking him to stores, wal-mart, target, etc. and picking out some really girly panties and outfits for him to wear. If there isn’t anyone around, I’ll occasionally make him go try them on in the dressing room.

Wearing plugs or other toys in public.

And finally, for one of the most humiliating things a man can ever do……

Swallowing cum and/or getting a facial. He fucking hates this, which is why I love it. Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, he’s eating it or its going on his face. I don’t care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesn’t want to. That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat. There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it. Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that he’s going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums he’s absolutely repulsed by it. Some of my favorite ways to do this are:

Make him cum into a condom, then empty it into his mouth.

Make him have a ruined orgasm (I’ll explain later) onto the tile or hardwood floor. Then make him lick it up. If he resists, shove his face in it. If you have carpet, that isn’t a problem. Make him suck the cum out of it until its all gone.

If you let him cum inside you or on you, make him suck the cum out of you or lick it off of you.

While he’s wearing a pair of panties, rub his dick until he cums in them. Then peel them off and make him lick it out, or smear them all over his face.

Flip his legs over his head into the piledriver position (good for pegging also) and make him shoot his load all over his own face. This is a favorite of mine, simply because of the role reversal mind fuck going on in his head. I also like making him leave the jizz on his face for the rest of the day.

Make him cum into a glass and then pour it into his mouth, or pour it all over his face and/or hair.

However he gets the cum into his mouth, occasionally I’ll have him “play” with it. Gargle it, show it to me on his tongue, drool it out and then suck it back up like a porn star.

EDIT: Ladies, he’s going to be much more compliant with eating his semen if he has had a ruined orgasm instead of a pleasurable one. I mention this below but I’ll go into some more detail here. When your man has an orgasm his sexual desire drops off a cliff. He won’t want to eat his cum and will resist. But if you give him a ruined orgasm, he doesn’t get much pleasure at all, and his sexual desire remains high, but he still can expel a good amount of sperm. The goal here is to make his semen come out of his dick without pleasure, but for most men, the pleasure and orgasm actually begins several seconds before he ejaculates. So I like to have fun with this. With him on his knees and his hands restrained I’ll stroke his dick until he gets very close to orgasm, and then when I think hes right on the edge, I’ll let go and watch. I’ll wait about 20 seconds and if no semen comes out, start again. If you’ve done this perfectly, his semen will leak out about 10-15 seconds AFTER you stopped stroking it. He’ll be left sexually frustrated, but you actually DID give him an orgasm, its not your fault he didn’t feel it! He’ll be much more compliant in regards to consuming semen in this way. I like to combine this with chastity sometimes too. I’ll have him locked in the cage for a few days, give him a ruined orgasm and then put him back in. Its wonderful!

ADDED HUMILIATION BONUS!

For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions. I keep these and then use them later for addiitonal humiliaiton. Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strapon well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini top….well that’s just good entertainment. Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him. It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha.

PAIN AND CONTROL

DISCLAIMER: It seems online, many people are nervous about this category, and with good reason. Its sometimes hard to tell what your partner is comfortable with, and they may not even be sure of it themselves. So take all of this slowly at first until you and your partner can figure out what works for you. That being said, I seek to push right up against my boyfriend’s limits here. This is where the “forced” part of the humiliation listed above becomes more real.

There are several ways to inflict some pain on your male, here are some of my favorites.

Face slapping. I really enjoy this. Nothing gets his attention so quickly as a pop to the side of his cheek. Several (5-6) in quick succession create a look of fear in his face that I love. He can take a lot of punishment here too, just watch out for his eyes and ears. This is an especially good thing to practice while you’re fucking his face or he’s licking your pussy and/or ass. Use your slaps to get his attention, give direction, and have fun. “I slap told slap you slap to slapfocus slap on slap my slap clit!! slap”

Hair Pulling. Grab his hair and yank his head around. Do this while pegging (in any position), while he’s giving you oral (or sucking your dildo), to lead him where you want him, to hold his head in place while you slap him, to force his face into a puddle of semen, etc.

Spanking/whipping. The most common. I like to use a belt, flogger, occasionally a cane.

Cock and Ball Torture. Another common theme on femdom websites. Here’s a list of techniques I use.

Squeezing/Pinching. Grab his balls and squeeze. Pinch the head of his dick.

Slapping. Simple. To make it hurt worse, you can grab his balls into one hand and hold them tight and steady while you slap.

Punching. Same as above but creates a lot more pain. :)

Kicking. Kicking him right in the balls after you just fucked his ass can be quite the experience for both of you. Take this one more slowly haha.

Nipple Play. Most people know about this already. Use clamps, clothespins, pinches, flicks, twists, and scrapes to inflict some pain here. He can take more than you think.

Chemical Play. Ok, we’re getting to some more extreme areas here again. This is not to be taken lightly, as many people’s bodies react differently. Here’s a list of things we’ve tried.

Ice cubes. Rub on his penis, balls, asshole, and nipples. This can sometimes eliminate a pesky erection in a pinch. I’ve inserted cubes into his anus as well, he doesn’t like that lol.

Ben-gay/Icy Hot. Rub this on the penis balls, taint, and anus. This creates a very unpleasant burning sensation. My pet feels very intense pain for about 10-20 minutes. It then subsides to a mild cooling sensation.

Tabasco/hot sauce. Same as above, rub on genitals and asshole. Your man’s experience will vary here depending on the type of sauce you use, the duration you leave it on, and the amount you use. I reserve this for serious punishment. I once poured some hot sauce on the dildo I fucked him with. Let’s just say he didn’t have a great night.

Electricity. You need to be even more careful here. My only experience is a dog shock collar. I attach the collar around his penis and testicles. It has a vibrate function (for when he’s been a good boy) and 8 levels of shocks. We’ve gotten up to level 6. He really hopes I don’t have to use 7 or 8 on him. You can experiment with the position of the collar on his genitals. If the contacts are touching his balls, he’ll feel it throughout his sack and his perineum. If you flip it over and the contacts touch the base of his penis, shocking sensations will affect his entire penis, all the way to the head. We’ve experimented with different levels here, and it seems his penis is much more sensitive to electricity than his balls are. Your man’s experience may vary. This collar also has a sound/beeping function that I use as a pager when I need him. If his balls beep, he has 10 seconds to be on his knees in front of me, regardless of his prior activity, or else he’ll face punishment.

Bondage and Restraints. I keep this simple as I don’t enjoy taking the time to set up intricate bondage situations. I’m sure my BF would like it, but its just too much effort when I can use simpler items to accomplish the same things. I own a few types of gags, a collar and leash, handcuffs, bed restraint system and, my favorite, a spreader bar (bar with cuffs for hands and feet).

Control. A lot of the more severe pain and control items above are essentially just a method to get my guy to do what he’s told. This is where the “forced” aspect really comes into play. For example, he absolutely hates eating sperm. But if I want him to eat sperm, he’s going to fucking eat it. So I use pain to get him to do it. One way I do this is with the electric dog collar and handcuffs. After he cums, and there’s a load of sperm sitting there on the floor, I give him a choice. Either put your face on it and suck up all that lovely sperm, or, get shocked in increasing intervals and strength. Eventually he’ll do it. This is an area where we’ve both agreed that he doesn’t get a choice any longer. He submits to being forced to lick his jizz off the floor.

Another example is dildo play. If i instruct him to deepthroat my strapon, and get the entire 7 inches down his throat while maintaining eye contact, that’s his job to do. If he doesn’t, I inflict pain. For example, I might start by slapping his face as a warning if he’s disobeying, increasing the strength and quantity of the slaps as I try to work the dildo down his throat. If that doesn’t work, I move on to other means. I may whip him with the belt, or punch his balls a few times then give him another chance. I increase the pain until he obeys. Its really fun to give him tasks that are hard to acheive. I also use pain as punsihment for failure. If he can’t make me orgasm in a certain time period, or its less pleasurable than what I expected, I may attach the spreader bar to his ankles and wrists, gag him, slather his cock and balls with ben-gay, and then go have a glass of wine while he contemplates how he can improve his performance next time.

This doesn’t mean I need a reason to hurt my toy. When we’re playing, I may slap him for fun or for no reason at all. If he’s getting pegged, he should expect to get popped in the face a few times just because I fucking feel like it. Maybe I’ll kick his little blue balls afterwards while he’s still on all fours on the kitchen floor, just because I want to be a bitch.

FRUSTRATION/TEASING

This is really quite simple. When we’re playing, I cum when I want, he cums when he’s allowed to. I enjoy making him suffer in this way, its honestly the most fun part of all this. There are a lot of ways I enjoy teasing and frustrating him and I’ll go over some of them now. There is one hard and fast rule in this game for us. He must always ask permission to ejaculate, no exceptions. He’ll be punished severely for an unauthorized orgasm or ejaculation.

Chastity. This is a must for us. While we don’t play 24/7, I enjoy making him wear a chastity device frequently when we’re apart. I work nights, so if I’m at work, chances are he’s locked into “The Vice”. This is a locking chastity cage, similar to others, only this one has an anti-pullout mechanism that makes it very difficult to remove without the key. Basically “The Vice” (available at  www.lockedinlust.com ) is a plastic sheath for his dick that attaches to a ring around the base of his balls. It prevents erections and masturbation very well for the price. I don’t want my man’s dick mangled by a piercing for this game we play, and some of the other devices out there require that to be secure. The Vice keeps it secure and out of his (or anyone else’s) hands. Its so empowering to be able to restrict access to his own dick. I have the power to grant him erections and orgasms, he can’t have them without me or my approval. The length of time he wears the device really changes, but is up to me. I usually don’t keep him in it for more than a couple days, but we’ve had times that I left him in there for over 3 weeks. He really wasn’t happy about the time I had to leave town for 4 days and took the key with me, AFTER he’d been locked up for a week already.

There are a log of fun chastity games you can find online. Some fun chastity games we play:

Try to cum. I enjoy leaving the device on him, and tell him to try to have an orgasm with it on (no vibrator allowed!). Its fucking entertaining to see him hump his hand, finger his asshole, shake the cage around, pinch his own nipples, etc. I like to offer some cheering words of encouragement here for him. Usually I have him do this on the floor in the middle of the living room while I sit on the couch and watch. He hasn’t been able to cum yet, but maybe one day he’ll get there. (Another great video opportunity)

Coin flip. If he’s been locked up for several days, I’ll strap him to the bed or handcuff him to remove the device. Then I’ll start stroking his dick until he’s very close to orgasm, right on the edge. Then I flip a coin, heads I finish him off. Tails, I immediately stop, put an ice pack on his dick and lock him back up once he’s soft again. Better luck next time honey.

Roll of the dice. If he rolls a six, he gets to cum. If not, that’s the number of days he stays locked up until he gets another chance. This went on for over 3 weeks for us at one point. He was really on edge lol.

Chastity can also play into the control aspect as well. Sometimes when we play I don’t take the cage off. For example, he doesn’t need an erection to get fucked in his ass or to use my dildo and vibrator on my pussy, so why take it off? If he starts giving me a bad attitude, I’ll simply add another day or two to his lockup time. I use this as punishment for disobedience when playing, so it gives me more control.

One of the big things you’ll notice if you start incorporating chastity into your sex life, is that he will become more and more agreeable and obedient as time goes on, if you restrict his orgasms. If we’re playing with chastity more seriously, I like to make him wait 1 to 2 weeks between orgasms. He has a high sex drive, so when I do this, he gets so horny he’ll do anything to get out of his chastity cage. Its really entertaining to see what I can get him to do. Once, after 13 days locked into the Vice, I insisted he detail my car if he wanted out of the device. He whined and complained, so I told him that he just earned himself another 3 days in the device, and I still expected the car detailed.

The MOST IMPORTANT thing when incorporating chastity into your sex life is this. SAY NO. Don’t be swayed by his begging, whining, or complaining. Firstly lets get this out of the way, no one NEEDS to have an orgasm. He wants to cum, he doesn’t need to. So lets get that little idea out of the way immediately. We have a rule, when he’s locked up, he gets to politely ask for an orgasm once per day. If I feel like it, I’ll have him earnestly beg me. This is great for extracting promises from him. But if I say no, he needs to shut the fuck up about it immediately. Occasionally I’ll say yes, but most of the time I’ll say no as I’ve already decided on how long he’s going to be locked up. Do not feel bad about this. In fact, relish your power here.

I get off on having him go down on me right after I tell him “No, you’re staying locked up.” While we both agreed to incorporate chastity devices into our sex life, the lockup duration is my decision alone. Use the device to modify his behavior to your liking. If you want something from him, sexual or not, give him the order. If he doesn’t comply, add time in the device. The power is intoxicating.

Teasing. Sometimes he wears The Vice around the house, sometimes not. But regardless I like to wear skimpy clothing, rub up against him, feel and squeeze his balls, ass cheeks, and body just to see him get a boner (or try to, hehe). I’ll take this a lot further sometimes, stroking his dick until he starts leaking precum, getting him close to orgasm, only to stop and tell him to calm down. Sometimes I even let him fuck me until I have an orgasm or two, then tell him to stop. This is delightfully frustrating for him. Other times I’ll leave him in the chastity cage and masturbate right in front of him. One of my favorite teases is to use his mouth to make me cum and send him away completely denied. Sometimes I tell him I’m going to make him cum, only to stop at the last second and tell him I changed my mind.

Ruined Orgasm. By far the funniest aspect to this whole femdom thing. Its really an artform. The basic idea is that you get your man very, very close to the point of orgasm and then stop all stimulation. If you do it right, he’ll just tip over the edge, and his semen will dribble out of his dick with barely any force, and next to no pleasure. This works best with his hands restrained so he can’t try to finish the job himself. I like to pair this sometimes with the shock collar to make it completely miserable.

SERVICE

So now we get to the fun part. A lot of the above is playing into my man’s fetish, and that’s ok. I do love him, and I don’t have a problem doing stuff for his enjoyment. But you can be sure I’m going to be getting something out of all this! A big part of femdom is serving the woman in the relationship. And I’ll detail how that all works for us now.

Sexual Service. This encompasses everything. If I want my ass eaten out for 2 hours while I watch TV, he does it. If I want a full body massage from a muscled, naked man, that’s what I get. If I want to fuck and get off two or three times, I get that. If I want my nipples sucked while I use my vibrator on myself, that’s what I get. Nothing is off limits to me sexually. I speak, he obeys. That’s just how it goes. I typically don’t orgasm from oral sex alone or penetrative sex alone, and sometimes it can take quite a while for me to get there. The point is, I get what I want. Not that I want him eating my ass for 2 hours necessarily, but I’ll make him do something like that sometimes just because I can. (Then sometimes make fun of him for it.)

Facesitting. I love sitting on his face. Its a great experience to cum all over his face. Sometimes I use just his tongue, while other times I’ll shove a dildo in his mouth and ride it while using my vibrator. I also have a gag that has a dildo sticking out of it. Whatever I’m using, its important that I’m only concerned with my own pleasure during this experience. Don’t worry about whether or not he’s able to breathe, if his tongue is tired, if his neck hurts, etc. In fact, its quite enjoyable to put him in intentionally uncomfortable positions for this. We have a hard wooden chair that I like to use for this. He’ll be required to sit on the floor and lean his head back onto the seat of the chair. This hurts his neck and head when I really start riding and bouncing on it, but who gives a fuck? He needs to focus on my orgasm, not his temporary discomfort.

As part of the sexual service aspect of femdom in our sex life, we’ve decided that he no longer decides when and where he gets to orgasm, when and where I get to orgasm, and he doesn’t decide on when or where any other sexual activity takes place. That’s up to me now. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t initiate sex any longer, far from it. But it does mean he doesn’t get to complain, and he doesn’t get to turn me down when I want it either.

The goal of sexual service is two-fold. One, for you to get all the pleasure you want. Two, for him to feel completely objectified. When you are using him sexually, think of him as just another sex toy, a dildo that you can use up and throw away when you are finished.

But this isn’t limited to sexual service only.

Domestic Service. Basics. When we’re in femdom mode, he does the chores. All of them. We get to spice up mundane things like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming in easy ways. For example, if the dishes need washed, and the kitchen mopped, I tell my bitch to get his maid outfit and shock collar on and bring me the large butt plug. While he gets dressed I may watch TV, text friends, do some shopping online, or anything else I want. When he’s ready, he lubes up the plug and I put it up his tight little ass. He then goes off to do whatever I’ve told him to do while I relax. After he’s done I may or may not inspect his work, if he did a good job then he may get a reward. His reward may be the privilege of kissing my asshole for example. If its not up to par he may get punished. This can be implemented immediately, or added to a play session later. If you are going to go this route though, I would suggest using punishments he really wants to avoid (extended chastity time, severe spankings, etc.) or else you may find him purposefully messing up in order to get some “punishment” he wants.

This applies to any chore we need completed. My laundry, dishes, car washes, lawn mowing (its funny seeing him on a riding mower when I know there’s a plug up his ass), cooking, etc.

Personal Service. These are generally intimate things that I want done for me. They can really play up the tease element as well. Some examples: 

Shave me. In the shower or bath, I like to have him shave my legs and pussy.

Toenails/pedicure. I pick the color, then he massages, moisturizes my feet. Then polishes my nails for me. He’s also responsible for removing any old polish from my nails. 

Massage. Sometimes just a shoulder rub, other times I’ll be nude and he is required to give me a full body massage with oil. I like for him to be nude for this as well. It’s really torture for him to give me a few orgasms afterwards and stay denied. 

Body worship. It can be really relaxing to have him kiss and nuzzle my thighs, feet nipples, and pussy. I especially enjoy having my asshole worshiped though. Just light kisses, licks and nuzzles. Basically he’s making out with my asshole. It’s a serious power trip to have him do this while I watch TV or play games on my phone, ignoring him except to give instructions if I want something done differently.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER

I’ve outlined several ideas and topics here, and now I’ll give an example on how I’ve put all of it together. Remember when reading this, its all in fun, and it doesn’t necessarily have to make a lot of sense. Remember, if your guy is into femdom, he likes a lot of this kind of stuff already.

I like to choose something from each category when we play, just to round out the session. Not always, but frequently.

For one session I decided we were going to do some pegging, so before I got home I told him to get himself cleaned up, naked, and get a plug in. I got home about an hour later, so he’d been stretched out for a little while. I got home, grabbed him by the hair and dragged him into the garage. I told him to get on all fours in the middle of the floor and wait. He waited there for 20 minutes. I know he was scared, he’d never been fucked on the garage floor before. It wasn’t clean, and he was completely naked except for the plug in his ass.

I came in turned all the lights on and started taking pictures. I was already wearing the strapon. I made him smile for the camera, and pose for me. It looked like a really trashy photoshoot. I took several pictures in varioius positions and then I told him it was time to get busy.

I lubed up my cock, slowly pulled out the plug and got to work. I fucked him on the floor of the garage for about 5 minutes, eventually really pounding him. I pulled him up by his hair, bent him over the hood of my car and pounded some more. I insisted he fake an orgasm like a girl. It was reallly funny listening him attempt to moan and scream like a woman orgasming.

Once he was done, I pulled him around by the hair and spit directly into his face. I told him that was the worst fuck I’d ever had and told him to “go clean my fucking bathroom”. He stared at me dumbfounded, so I slapped him hard in his face and repeated it louder. He quickly scurried off to the master bath. About 5 minutes later I came in and threw the strapon and butt plug on the floor and told him to clean up my toys as well. When he came and reported that he was done, I went to inspect his work. It was spotless.

So I told him to get himself cleaned up and ready for bed. As a reward I let him go down on me for a while and then use my vibrator to give me an orgasm. He didn’t get to cum that night. (but we did cuddle and watch a movie)

There are many more ways you can mix and match categories, and many of them run together. For example, you can facefuck your man with your strapon, while you rub his dick. Once you’re satisfied he’s learned how to deepthroat, pull him off and make him beg for the privilege of masturbating in your presence. You can record this on video if you like, then, make him eat his own cum on video. The possibilities are endless! Again, I know a lot of this isn’t “authentic” if you’re doing it for your submissive partner, but that doesn’t really matter to me. What matters is that we’re having fun, and I get what I need out of it too.

Amazing add from one or the subscribers! Thanks for that!

[serveandgratitude]

For all the new mistresses out there who are trying to explore more, here are some suggestion.

[beautifulsecrets42]

Femdom Punishment Ideas...

By Mistress Kylie,

This post contains all of the ideas I have been able to come up with or find on the internet for female-dominant, male-submissive scenes…

You’ll probably notice that a lot of the ideas are designed for use over many days and are associated with orgasm control. This theme emerged over time because orgasm control is so effective at heightening male desire. We use this list in a very simple framework when setting up scenes. First she picks one or more of the ideas below (either by hand or randomly) and makes rules and tasks out of them. Then, after a few days of suffering through them and pushing me to peak sensitivity, the frequency of rules and tasks increases (over a weekend, for example) and she adapts punishments from the list (or comes up with them on her own) to achieve a good, intense session.

So anyway, I hope you enjoy them and they inspire ideas of your own! Please note, though, that we haven’t tried all of them. Some of them may not be practical.

1) Hold Pennies Against the Wall

This task is very hard: have him hold pennies against the wall using only his fingertips — one penny per finger. Depending on how you position his arms, this can be easy or extremely difficult. Arms spread wide apart forces him to get his face very close to the wall and will tire his arms quickly. Same with his hands being very high up.

For every penny that drops, punish him. Keep the punishments severe enough that he really fears dropping a penny.

You can also make him hold a penny against the wall using his erect cock. This will force him to keep himself hard.

2) Controlled Orgasms

Rules that control his orgasms are the most effective and psychologically impactful rules you can impose. These rules also become good excuses for torment and punishment. The mix of wanting to orgasm and facing big punishments feels very exciting.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He has to earn orgasms –> After you have had five orgasms, he gets one. –> He chooses to undergo a punishment or humiliation in order to flip a coin. Heads grants him an orgasm. Tails gets him another punishment or humiliation –> He earns points toward his next orgasm by acting the role of the “perfect slave.” These can only be earned by doing things for you without being asked, and acting the part perfectly. 20 points per orgasm.

He must ask permission prior to orgasm.

He is allowed to orgasm, but doing so carries an automatic set of punishments or humiliations.

Every time he orgasms, he owes you a favor.

You pretend to believe that he will take any opportunity to have an orgasm, and go to great lengths to prevent it (chastity belt, lots of restraints, careful supervision).

After every orgasm, he must collect his semen and do something embarrassing with it.

Come up with a “training regimen” to teach him to resist orgasm. He wears a chastity belt until he can resist your best efforts to get him to come while you reach two or three orgasms.

He is forbidden to clean up his own semen if it lands on him.

He gets a very short window every day to bring himself to orgasm while you watch. The chastity belt goes back on at the end whether he succeeds or not.

He gets a set limit of orgasms per week, which he can trade like currency. (His limit could be one. Or one every two weeks. Just because he can trade doesn’t mean he needs a lot of them.)

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Instead of a promised orgasm, he has to edge instead and thank you at the end as if he had an orgasm.

Lengthen the time he has to wear the chastity belt.

Treat pre-cum as orgasms for punishment purposes.

Warn him about a severe punishment if he orgasms, then tie him down and ride him until he does.

During the time when he is permitted to orgasm, position his body so that he can’t prevent himself from coming on himself.–>Make him put his knees on the wall behind him so that his cock points toward his face

If you are on top and he comes, keep going. The sensory overload is really overpowering. Even though it feels great, it’s a good “mean” thing to do to him.

Punishment Ideas

Remember that if your slave just had an orgasm without permission, he’s less in the mood than he was before. So instead of a regular punishment, pick one that is more severe, and execute it after he’s back in the mood (possibly the next day).

Make him write out a coupon for a certain number of days spent in a chastity belt. Spend it whenever you like. If he picks a number that is lower than what you picked, make him choose again and double his next result. (You can choose to have him give you a number of orgasms instead of a number of days.)

If he comes inside of you, sit on his chest while his semen drains out of you. Tie him up until it dries.

Chain a heavy weight to his chastity belt for a while, giving him something he either has to drag by his balls or deal with as he does other tasks for you.

3) Edging

Edging is the practice of bringing someone very close to the point of orgasm and then baking off. It’s usually done repeatedly, which both increases sexual need and results in the closest thing to multiple orgasms for a man. You can force your Slave to edge himself a few times to increase his sexual need. Or, you can do it to him and punish him if he orgasms. This will force him to resist orgasm.

4) Must Volunteer Information

This is similar to the “Must Not Lie” rule, but forces him to give you extra details whenever he’s answering a question. It can be very useful, because he has to actively think about what other secrets he can divulge. Use it to force him to keep you aware of the things he’s thinking about.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He must tell you when he’s horny

He must go into detail about what he wants sexually and why

Whenever he’s asked a question, he has to answer it, and then say “Also…” and add more details.

He must try to help you come up with more effective punishments, more humiliating tasks, and tell you how he might try to get out of obeying you

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Since you can’t read his mind, there’s no way to know if he’s holding something back. Rely on punishments if you find out that he didn’t tell you something.

Punishment Ideas

This is a rule that focuses on helplessness and humiliation. It’s also oral, since he has to tell you things. If you catch him leaving something out, punish him accordingly.

Make him write out several punishments and rank them according to desirability. Pick one or more for him to go through.

Make him tell you the most humiliating punishment he can think of. If he disobeys again, he has to go through with it.

Take away his right to speak for a while. Use a ball gag or tape if necessary.

Tell him to apologize. Don’t accept his apology until he recommends a good physical punishment or humiliation for you to employ.

5) Must Keep Legs Spread

Here is a very simple rule that is designed to keep things awkward for him and emphasize that his cock and balls belong to you. Usually the rule is that his legs can’t touch his cock or balls while you are in the room. Tell him that you want to see his balls hanging down.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He must keep his legs spread whenever you are within reach of his genitals

He must spread his legs on command

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He must keep his legs spread at all times, just in case.

Tie his legs up by the knees and spread them out. Then tease him by doing things to him that would make him want to close his legs

Punishment Ideas

Breaking this rule is all about not giving you access to his cock and balls, or about him not putting them on display for you. Punish him accordingly.

Tie his ankles to his wrists. Then tie his elbows to his knees. Last, pull his cock and balls behind his legs and tie his legs together so that they are trapped down by his butt. Now he gets to keep his legs closed, but you have full access to the genitals. Torture them for a while until he becomes more compliant.

Since he won’t put his genitals on display on his own, take away all his clothes and tie him up in a full-body rope harness. That way he can stay on display for you until you get tired of him.

6) Must Obey

Make it unconditional that he has to obey you, or anyone you specify, and punish him if he doesn’t do it promptly or well. This is one of those rules that you’ll talk about a lot, bringing it up to him to remind him that he doesn’t have a choice (or that you’ll punish him severely) if he doesn’t obey.

Ideas for Normal Situations

Have him acknowledge every command with “yes ma’am,” “yes, mistress,” or similar.

Give him a time limit to obey. For example, he might get punished for not jumping to do what you say within three seconds.

If he’s being forced to obey someone else, have him ask that person to give you an evaluation of how well he did.

Test him by giving him a list of things to do while you are away. Demand proof that he did them.

Come up with a word you can use to tell him that you are giving him an order while he’s in public so that others aren’t aware that you’re giving him a command to obey.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Dramatically increase the number of things he has to do so that he’s kept very busy

Use toys, locks, and complicated tasks to make obeying very hard, such as –> Blindfolding him, then telling him to get a specific item that can only be identified by sight –> Chaining up his hands and then giving him something to type (with his tongue?) –> Give him an enema, and tell him he can’t release it until a task is done.

Give him tedious tasks, like writing out a sentence fifty times.

Punishment Ideas

Failure to obey you should carry the harshest punishments. The point of this game is to use punishments to force him to obey you. Therefore, the punishments have to be intense enough that doing humiliating and painful tasks is less miserable than going through with the punishments. Generally, you want to pick very painful or very humiliating punishments for this kind of error. Try to get him to call out in pain several times. He’s got a safe-word if you go too far.

Chain him up so he is completely immobile, then leave him like that for a while, maybe periodically torturing him.

Take away a sense or a privilege for a long time, such as use of his hands for 24 hours.

Add a couple extra rules to his list of rules

Make him pick a few punishments he would rather not be forced to undergo and then draw one randomly

Add a few days of slavery to his sentence

7) Must Become Hard

With this rule, the slave must force himself to become hard. This usually carries a time-limit, or is just a way for you to keep his hands on his cock, constantly fumbling with it. This has more to do with him having to make himself hard with you watching than it does with him getting hard. He is putting himself on display. Keep that in mind and see if you can think of ways to change things up.

Consider making him exaggerate the process so that it’s extra disruptive. Some ideas are to have him stretch out his cock, or use both hands, or kneel until it’s done.

This rule can be fun if he can’t use his hands to make himself hard. He’ll be left humping you or the furniture to comply.

Ideas for Normal Situations

When Mistress enters the room, slave has a certain amount of time to make himself hard.

On a schedule, such as once every three hours, slave has to make himself hard and present his cock for your inspection. If it’s not hard enough, or if it offends you in any way, he can be punished.

When seeing something arbitrary, such as a high heel, he has to become hard –> You might say, “You like skirts so much? Well, you’re going to show it!” And have him make himself hard every time he sees one on TV.

Upon hearing an arbitrary word, such as “songbird,” he has to make himself hard.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Instead of just making himself hard once, he has to become hard, become soft, and become hard again –> Add a time-limit to complete this task to make it harder.

Make it more uncomfortable for him by keeping him from freeing his cock from his clothes or adjusting it while it’s getting hard.

Forbid him to use his hands to make himself hard or simply tie his hands out of reach of his cock. This will make it much tougher, but still possible.

Make him stay hard for five minutes before he can let go of his cock or stop stimulating it.

Punishment Ideas

If he fails to become hard for you in time (or if he forgets), change the rule so that he isn’t allowed to become hard for a day. See if you can catch him breaking that rule and slap a chastity belt on him.

The next time he has to be hard on command, put him in a lot of pain by slapping at his balls with a ruler or squeezing them (or similar) while he is trying to get hard.

Make him get hard without physical contact on his cock of any kind. (This might be very difficult.) Tie him up to be sure that he can’t move, of course.

8) Must Use Specific Names

This is a rule in every slave contract: that he must refer to you by a name of your choice. You can extend this to involve other women or other people. Common examples are:

Ma’am

Mistress

My Lady

Goddess

Madam

Ideas for Normal Situations

He isn’t allowed to use your name.

He has to answer “yes, <special name>” whenever you give a command

Must call other men and women “sir” or “ma’am,” even if he knows their names.

Must be sure to state your special name before asking any question

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Once again, this rule is so common that it’s almost always in a contract. I can’t think of tougher ways to implement it.

Punishment Ideas

This rule is a vocal one, so punishments can involve the mouth or speech. But don’t let that stop you from popping him in the testicles for forgetting to say your name before a question. Just be sure to catch him every time.

Make him wear a ball gag for thirty minutes every time he forgets

Tape his mouth shut when he forgets

Make him eat or drink something (like alcohol?) every time he messes up.

Place a clothes pin on his tongue for a while

Make him hold something with his mouth

9) Must Kiss

Slave must kiss some part of Mistress under some conditions. Type of kiss, duration, and number of kisses are up to you. You could, for example, make him practice kissing until he gets it exactly right.

Body Parts to Kiss

Vagina

Ass

Feet

Hand

Mouth

Ideas for Normal Situations

You can assign different body parts to kiss under different situations. If he forgets or gets one wrong, he gets punished. For example –> He must kiss a chosen body part when you enter the room –> He must kiss your clitoris after you orgasm –> When Waking –> Before Bed –> While showering, he must constantly kiss your vagina –> When seeing something arbitrary, such as a high heel –> Upon hearing an arbitrary word, such as “songbird.”

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He must practice kissing the chosen body part. The more disobedient he has been, the longer he has to practice.

Instead of a simple kiss, you can make a complicated series of kisses that he has to get right every time.

You can put a blindfold on him before he kisses. If he misses the spot, he gets punished.

Punishment Ideas

Kissing is an oral act, so you might want punishments to involve the mouth. Here are some ideas.

Leave him in a ball gag for a period of time for every mistake he makes with this rule.

Force him to wear bright red lipstick and gloss (make his lips kissable) to remind him what his duty is.

Take away the use of his hands (using ropes or chains) and let him use his mouth as hands for a while. When he has had enough, give him a test to see if he has learned his lesson.

10) Must Wear Collar and/or Cuffs

You require your slave to wear a collar, wrist cuffs, or ankle cuffs, or any combination both as a symbol that you own him and so that you can quickly restrain him at any time.

Since the collar and cuffs can’t be ignored, it will force him to remember the situation he’s in. You might want to avoid making him wear a collar while he sleeps, but that is the only one you need to be careful about. Cuffs while sleeping are just fine.

Ideas for Normal Situations

When he gets up or gets home from work, he must lock a collar and cuffs on himself. Only you can unlock them.

He has to lock chains that hang freely from his collar and/or cuffs.

He has to sleep with wrist and/or leg cuffs on.

He has to lock himself to the bed when he goes to sleep.

He has to lock something embarrassing to his collar.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Not only does he have to lock cuffs on himself when he gets home, he has to lock his wrists together and his ankles together. You unlock him when you get home or by telling him where the key is by phone.

He must lock something very heavy to his ankle cuff. Like a locked bag of bricks, or a suitcase full of heavy items.

Make him lock himself to the toilet or to some other immovable object by running a chain behind it.

Punishment Ideas

Usually, the punishment comes from him unlocking the cuffs ahead of schedule. Sometimes this is necessary for safety or for other reasons (like a friend comes by), but you can still punish him for it. Simple restraint is perfect for that.

Run a rope or chain over a beam in the roof and raise his wrists as high as possible, maybe even making him stand on his toes. Tie it off so that he has to stand like that. Torture as desired. He won’t be able to stop you.

Before he goes to bed, make him wear short chains that either link his wrists, his ankles, or link a wrist to an ankle. You can also lock his wrists to a bondage belt.

Tie him in the frogtie and the chicken-wing tie at the same time. Torture him, make him walk on his knees and elbows, or just leave him stuck on the ground for a while.

Tie him spread-eagled on the bed. Use your imagination after that.

11) Flexibility, Strength, and Weight

I’ve combined three rules into one here. You can force him to reach (or maintain) a specific weight, achieve a certain degree of flexibility, or force him to gain strength. All of these require a test after a long period of time to see if he meets the goal. Failure needs to have a significant-enough punishment that it will push him to exercise and stretch for so many days to try to reach the goal.

It also gives you a convenient way to punish him in a way that will hurt for a long time. You can force him to do 100 situps, for example, and his ab muscles will ache for days. However, this can interfere with other games where you are pushing his body to its limits.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He has to lose a certain number of pounds by a certain date.

He has to become flexible enough to perform yoga moves of your choosing

He must become strong enough to hold something heavy for a period of time

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Force him to exercise in a tedious and very challenging way, such as crawling to every room in the house fifty times.

Force him to exercise until he is too exhausted to stop you from overpowering him

Punishment Ideas

These rules require him to exercise so often and for so long that you need to have punishments that will motivate him to work through the pain and boringness of exercise over a period of weeks. Pick punishments that make him pale, or that are worse than the exercise itself.

Add a period of slavery for every pound he fails to lose by the deadline, maybe a week per pound.

Put together a list of extreme hard labor that he must do if he fails to make his goal. Make him do the work naked, in chains, or while wearing uncomfortable toys like a large butt-plug.

12) May Not Flinch

Slave is punished for flinching. Pulling away counts as resistance, just like saying “no.” You have free reign over the slave’s body. You can even make him act like he is happy when you touch him. But he can never show you the disrespect of moving away when you want to touch him.

Ideas for Normal Situations

Once he realizes what you’re reaching for, he must try hard to put that body part in your easy reach, either by moving closer, removing clothes, or assuming an agreed-upon position (like putting his hands behind his head).

When a Slave’s Been Bad

Add a line in your notes or itinerary to try to get him to flinch a certain number of times each day. Once he passes the test, this rule can be dropped. But be convincing!

Tie his hands behind his back, and tie those ropes around his balls. Then try to get him to flinch. If he moves, he will yank on his balls. Train him to hold very still by trying to get him to flinch.

Add extra physical punishments or humiliation if you catch him flinching. (Two punishments instead of one, etc.)

Punishment Ideas

Tie his hands and legs very securely so that he can’t flinch. Then give him several reasons to flinch while he’s unable to. That way, he can tell the difference between when it is appropriate to flinch and when it isn’t.

Tie or wrap his hands (which are primarily used to protect body parts) in very awkward orientations so that they are not only useless, but uncomfortable or awkward. For example, tape his thumbs together and secure them to the back of his collar with a short rope.

13) May not Say a certain word

This is both a teasing rule and a very serious one. Consider these two situations:

He is not allowed to say “no” to anyone.

He is not allowed to say the word “is.”

In the first example, you make it clear that he’s expected to do whatever anyone asks. This is a straight-forward and common rule.

In the second example, you pick a common word and wait for him to forget the rule, giving you frequent opportunities to punish him.

Ideas for Normal Situations

He may not use the word “no.”

He may not use personal pronouns (me, my, our) and instead has to substitute “the slave” for them.

He may not speak unless addressed by someone (asked a question, etc.)

You force him to use an embarrassing word for his cock.

When a Slave’s Been Bad

He has a limit of words (or sentences) that he can say, after which he must be absolutely silent. (If you have a hard time keeping track, just count the number of times he starts talking.

He may only speak while wearing a gag or with something held in his mouth.

Punishment Ideas

This is simple: if he speaks out of turn, focus on oral punishments. Bad tastes, gags, extremely hot foods, and so on.

Gag him for a while, possibly sacrificing a meal.

Make him hold something in his mouth. (Your freshly-worn panties, a jalapeno, or a piece of soap.

Make him conduct a complicated task with his mouth (such as sorting the sex toys, sorting your panties by color, and so on.

Thanks to Mistress Kylie, Her slave & femaledomination

[serveandgratitude]

Great ideas for all the mistresses out there.

[foryourusemistress]

[serveandgratitude]

“Remember when you asked why does mistress always collect your cum each time you cummed without permission? Now you know slave, mistress has been preparing this nice cumsicle for you to eat. From today onwards, you’ll think twice about cumming without permission.”

[humiliation-cuckold]

[serveandgratitude]

“Now slave boy, we have a new toy here. This is called the Kalis cage, mistress is going to put it on you and you’re going to worship mistress’s pussy. It’s filled with spikes, so if you ever get hard you’ll be punished immediately. So let’s start your training, you worthless slave.”

[fuckyoujeffceo-deactivated20181]

Shortened length to make lighter on piercing not to bad now for a cheap eBay device

[serveandgratitude]

“Come on slave boy, this is just the beginning of your chastity dream. Next month, we are going 1 inch smaller.”

[cadrxrererere]

밑에꺼 뒷부분인데 좀길어서ㅎ

password: 1152

[serveandgratitude]

“Cum slave! Cum for mistress, you don’t deserve to be wank to orgasm only fucked to a ruined orgasm.”

[serveandgratitude]

For all my mistresses out there, here’s a little game you can play with your slave while you’re away. http://edgemeplease.com/ <- Feel free to donate to them, force your slaves to have a go. While you watch them begging you to stop the game and let them cum.

[cadrxrererere]

텀블러 또 접어버릴까ㅡㅡ 비메오말고 그냥영상 잘올리는법아시는분

password:1152

[serveandgratitude]

“Cum for mistress! Good slave! You’re learning how to be a good girl, mistress shall reward you by letting you clean her pussy.”

[pegosaurus-deactivated20180318]

New chastity device came in😈😈😈punishment spikes and urethral insert

[serveandgratitude]

“This shall be your new home slave boy, the catheter is meant to ensure you’re always clean in your cage. There’s no need for any excuses such as; mistress please release her slave so that he can clean. From today onwards, this shall be your permanent chastity.”

[serveandgratitude]

Nude man play River Flows in you

Nude man play River Flows in you

Now perhaps I should do this for my mistress one day, sitting there playing the piano and yet naked but in chastity cage. At the same time, having mistress beside her slave, teasing and torturing her slave. For each note I play wrong she will give her slave 5 minutes of edging or her slave has to give her 1 orgasm for every wrong notes.

[serveandgratitude]

Sometimes I enjoy taking photos to unwind, posting them into a little album of collection for my future mistress to enjoy as well. :)