I haven't abandoned this story. I just put it on the back burner for now. The story is just on a small vacation. It is currently out of office. It can't come to the phone right now. It just fell under my bed to sleep with the monsters. It never left my head. It is everywhere - except on paper.
I just wanted to tell you your Snape fan fiction is BEYOND good and I love how you actually have a set plot, also your talent for writing spicy scenes is second to none!!! SLAY, I can’t wait for more when you’re ready
hihihihi !!!
soso sorry for the incrediblyyyyy late answer! thank you so much anon! <3 it really means a lot when i receive these kinds of messages, i feel like the moment i press 'post' i'm like fuck EW that's ass but it's too late now, and then i reread it and i'm like omg why did i write that ksfasfghskgh. then i pretend it didn't happen LOL
(in regards to the set plot, let me tell you a secret, at first, i sort of just made it up as i went along, and then i kept adding ideas and it made sense so here we are hehe. but thank you!!)
honestly the only way i was able to get into writing was reading so much fanfiction by some incredible writers when i was younger (#peak marvel days omg) and just absorbing their creativity and talent, and i wish i remembered all of their names to give them the credit they deserve. there are so so many writers (fanfic or not) out there that deserve so much more. it makes me sad that the whole world won't witness it.
thank you so much again for taking the time to send me an ask, honestly, it's so very kind of you <33 i hope you have a fab day :)
(This isn't an ask, I just wanted to remain anonymous.)
Hey, I just wanted to say that your writing is so moving to me and I'm very glad that you're back! The way you write is so captivating and it's like I'm right there in the moment, so big kudos to you :] Honestly, anyone sensible understands that we all need a break sometimes and there aren't really limits when it comes to needing time to get back on the horse. I'm sorry you were struggling for so long, but I can assure you that I, along with a couple other friends, just kept re-reading your beautiful work and anyone who took your hiatus the wrong way can step on a nail. I haven't read the newest chapter yet but I'm definitely nervous about it, considering what happened in Ch. 14 lmao. Anyway, thank you for taking the time to create this AU in the first place, it's truly been an emotional rollercoaster (in the best way) and I hope you're doing well; take all the time you need for the chapters, we'll devour whatever you feed us regardless of how much time passes in between chapters 🤭
hello, :)
this message made me emotional and i don't know why, probably because it was incredibly empathetic and i am but a sensitive, soppy soul, so thank you for taking the time to write this out. <3 i know it's been so long since i've posted (april i think?), i sort of go through phases of like 'YES NEED TO WRITE' and then something like 'ahh fuck, need to write, but don't know what or how to-', and it just like.. suuucks. honestly how do authors pump out whole ass trilogies in such a short period.. but either way i feel like i'm sort of, potentially,, back into a writing mood? testing the waters atm. i don't want to just write something just to get it out, you know what i mean? i want it to actually be... of somewhat good quality, so i try and only write when i want to, mentally?
and no, thank you!!! for even giving my ideas a chance, like i deadass just woke up one day and messily wrote that first chapter because it just slipped into my head and this all sort of got out of control LOL, but in all honesty, i love it, but sure-- there are some things i wish to/want to change but it will just take a verryyy long time and i will for sure lose motivation and just.. end up scrapping the whole thing so i'm forcing myself to not do that. and i'll probably end up wanting to go back to how it first was anyway haha. but again thank you so much for reading and supporting this and me, i appreciate and love you, so much. the internet can be such a daunting and scary place but in the corner of it all, there's you guys <3.
ok before i literally start crying imma head out. <3
(thank you again honestly i was not expecting these kinds of messages when logging back on :') )
i hope you have a fantastic day, anonymous, and everyone else that did read all of this gobbidigook above ^ <3
not another one... oh yes it is... and please, respectfully, strap yourselves in cos it's gonna be a ROUGH RIDE. and not in the way you're thinking, sorry, but get your minds out the gutters. gosh.
in other news, i hope you're all doing okay. part 17 won't be for a while as i'm back to work tomorrow and i'm going to be tired because i stupidly ruined my sleeping schedule the past few days. massive L.
i hope you've all had a brilliant day, and thank you so much for all the love and kind, sweet comments you left on part 15, it really made my day when i read through them this morning :') i'll reply to them all when i have some extra time this week!! <3 remember to take care of yourselves, please. and enjoy this. <3
warnings: swearing, slight altercation?, angst
A pair of cold hands grasped your scarlet cheeks, forcing you to look up and into their eyes in a desperate manner. "Bloody hell, Y/N," Remus whispered, his face twisting into an anxious mix of worry and concern. Gradually, you let your tearful eyes slink up meet his own, and another sob fell from your quivering lips. "I should have stayed, I'm so sorry." He sighed. You watched as his brows slipped together; hazel eyes flicking between yours as he brushed his thumbs gently against the apples of your cheeks.
"It's not your fault, Remus, please-" You shook your head viciously and squeezed your eyes shut, letting your head fall forwards.
"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" Remus asked, his voice soft as a feather, cautious not to startle you.
"Yes- no, I... my shoulder, it hurts," You whined and winced as you lifted your head up to lean back against the cabinets of your kitchenette behind you. Another intense, piercing pain shot through your shoulder. "Fuck!" You hissed. Remus cast a furious glance in the direction of Ben's unconscious body.
"We're going to have to take you to Madam Pomfrey, Y/N," the professor sighed quietly, "I'm afraid Dumbledore will need to hear of this... matter." Instantly, your eyes darted to Remus and you sucked in a breath.
"No, I'm fine, honestly- please," you shook your head, "there's no point, I won't be here after he wakes up anyway." A defeated sigh left your lips as you let your eyes slide to where Ben laid, the burning words that he'd spat at you like vicious venom replayed in your head on repeat.
"What do you mean?" Remus frowned at you.
"He found out about Severus." A dry, pathetic laugh slipped from you. "He figured it out."
"What-" Though, before Remus could even finish his question, you interrupted him.
"He went through my drawers in my greenhouse."
"I'm not following." The professor offered you an apologetic, yet perplexed look.
You inhaled a deep, slow breath through your nose. "Severus had been leaving me notes everytime he'd taken something from my cabinets, be it asphodel roots or dittany.. so, in my pathetic way, I... kept them." You muttered, reluctantly glancing up at Remus, watching his eyes soften. You looked away, unable to stomach how he looked at you with pity. "In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have, but I was blinded by my feelings for him, and so... then when I had first started seeing Ben, he had also left me notes. But, of course, I didn't really care for him the same way I did Severus, so I shoved them at the bottom of my drawers, beneath..." You trailed off, unable to finish your thoughts. You felt so silly, pathetic.
"I see." Remus said softly, noting how you were struggling. His gentle voice silently soothed your racing mind.
You took a few seconds to speak your next words, still unable to understand the gravity of the situation you'd put yourself in. In fact, it felt like you didn't even want to acknowledge it. "Ben threatened to have me fired, and then blacklisted for every job in this area. So, Remus, I'm screwed, to say the least."
The professor paused for a moment, pondering on his thoughts. You were praying he'd speak soon before you went insane from the way your mind was beginning to chaotically brew up storms of worst case scenarios.
"Not quite," Remus's lips quirked up into a small, comforting smile. You could only frown at him in utter confusion. "It's not the most... erm, ...humane way of solving such a problem, however it is the only way." Your eyes widened at his choice of words.
"Remus, you're scaring me, what on Earth are you suggesting?" You whispered, eyebrows furrowing together in what could only be described as fear.
"We're going to need the help of another wizard, I'm afraid." He replied and stood up, groaning a tad. "Ever heard of the spell, Obliviate?"
The damp stench of the dungeons of Hogwarts was wildly familiar and a little emotionally testing for you as you stumbled down the corridors with Remus; his hand placed caringly upon your back. The amber glow of the lit torches illuminated the darkened path, and the quiet squelch of the wet, mossy floor echoed throughout the empty corridors as the two of you padded towards Snape's classroom.
"I'm sorry to have to put you through this." Remus mumbled from beside you, and you felt his fingers press into the back of you. "But Severus is the only wizard I know that's meddled with minds here at Hogwarts."
"It's alright." You swallowed awkwardly as the anxious and speedy beats of your heart began to pound in your ears once more. "He never liked Ben, so I'm sure he'll take great pride in performing such a spell on him." You joked dryly, earning a curt laugh from the professor beside you. A little smile formed on your lips at the sound of it.
"Even in dark times, your brilliant humour shines through." Remus hummed, offering a warm smile as he glanced down at you.
There was a moment of silence as you let yourself wander through the labyrinth of your mind.
"Do you think it will work?"
"Absolutely," Remus answered quickly, "though Severus and I have never truly seen eye to eye, I still acknowledge the fact that he's an incredibly accomplished wizard." He said, shrugging. "I haven't met many other wizards in my time that have come close to his abilities."
You let his words simmer in your brain for a moment, and suddenly you felt a little more at ease. Not that you doubted Severus, but from what Lupin had explained about the Obliviate spell, you were slightly worried. Would Ben remember something and come back with a vengeance? No, there was no way... right? He's not that... petty.
Before you could even finish your train of thought, three loud knocks from Remus's knuckles broke you from your daydream.
Almost immediately you wanted to run away from the door in front of you. But from the way Remus's hand was glued to your back stopped you from doing so.
The door to Severus's classroom creaked open, and all of the blood from your body felt as if it had drained away the moment the two of you locked eyes.
"Severus," Remus greeted quietly.
"Y/N." Severus muttered, his tone confused as his eyes snapped to Lupin beside you, and then down to his arm around your back. A short, sharp exhale of breath left his nostrils, and you knew that he wasn't too pleased about what he was seeing. "Lupin..." He drawled as he flicked his eyes back to yours, then to Remus's own. "What brings you here?" His voice was agitated, nothing new. You let your eyes fall away from the Potions Master, unable to look at him without having some sort of whirlwind of emotions stir up inside of you.
"May we come in? It's a matter of urgency." The professor beside you spoke with a serious tone that forced a curious frown to appear on Severus's pale face. Without saying anything, Severus moved aside in one swift motion and allowed his door to creak further open, silently inviting you and Remus inside.
Had it been just Lupin here, you knew he wouldn't have been so trusting.
Glancing up, you caught Severus's eye again, and that wave of gut-wrenching yearning had returned to your heart. As you looked away, you didn't see the way his eyes softened at you, wordlessly wishing he could return to the way the two of you had been.
Lupin guided you inside with his arm, earning another harsh glare from Snape as he passed by him. "Take a seat, Y/N." The shaggy professor mumbled, pulling out a stool for you to perch on. You obliged, of course.
"What do you so desperately need from me?" Snape drawled, sweeping his way towards you and Lupin; his biting glare quite obviously screaming at you to hurry up and talk. Wasn't it so kind of him to treat you like you were some sort of irritating insect, and not someone he cared about, albeit a little?
You clenched your jaw, swallowing as you opened your mouth to speak, but Lupin beat you to it. "Bluewater threatened to have her fired and blacklisted from every job in the area." Severus's black brows immediately shot together in confusion, then quickly softened, quite obviously realising why he'd demand such a thing. "If she is to keep her job and reputation, we need you to perform the memory erasing spell on him."
Of course, Severus would do anything for you, at this point, he'd kill for you. So killing the memories of a man he truly loathed was an easy ask.
"Done." The Potions Master cast a concerned glance at you, before looking back to Lupin. "Truth be told, it'd be my pleasure." Again, Severus looked back at you with his worrisome black eyes, staring, swiftly scattering themselves over your form; quietly trying to figure out whether you were hurt or not.
You noticed his quiet inspection. "I'm fine." You mumbled, sighing softly as you avoided his eyes once more, shuffling in your seat - but as you moved, your face twitched into a wince as your injured shoulder betrayed you.
"Yes, clearly you are." Severus muttered sarcastically as he padded towards you, reluctantly lifting a hand toward your arm. Your eyes snapped up to his, and you blinked at him, your jaw ticking with either anxiety or anger - you couldn't figure out which. "May I?" He whispered.
You gave a nod and turned your torso towards him, allowing him to inspect your injury. The second his fingers touched your skin, it ignited like a wildfire. You inhaled sharply, your body freezing at the way he trailed them down to your shoulder.
"I'll be outside." Remus muttered, noticing that perhaps the two of you need to be alone. He shuffled his way towards the door, and slipped out of it, the quiet thud and click of the handle signifying he'd left.
"Did he do this to you?" Severus muttered through gritted teeth, brushing his thumb over the colourful blotch that was beginning to appear upon the skin he used to worship. He hissed at the sight of your bruised skin, it was like someone had ruined a beautiful painting and thrown some sort of hideous concoction onto it.
He should have known better than to abandon you like that. Bluewater had always been a wildcard. He should have stayed by your side, he shouldn't have let his emotions get the better of him like he always did. Maybe then you wouldn't have this... abomination painting your flesh black and blue. Severus would never forgive himself for falling into the foolish trap of his insecurities. He'd never forgive himself for ever listening to the deranged demons that resided within his mind, silently calling him into the darkness; their devilish, silver tongues persuading him to fade into the lonely void.
You and Severus sat in silence for a moment, and your eyes had been glued to the ground ever since the Potions Master laid his hands on you. If you looked into his eyes whilst he was so close to you, you weren't exactly sure if you could stop yourself from doing something utterly stupid.
"Where is he?" Severus suddenly mumbled, a burning hot fire of rage and vengeance was quickly spreading throughout his body.
"My chambers, but-"
"Stay here." Severus immediately began to storm towards the door of his classroom, his long black cape billowing behind him with a vengeance that matched its wearer.
"Severus, don't hurt him!" You cried out, leaning forwards to try and grab his arm. You gasped as your injured shoulder unleashed an unbearable pain across your back, making you squeeze your eyes shut in agony.
"Don't hurt him? Look at what he's done to you!" Severus whipped around, furious. "You can barely move your shoulder without wincing like a wounded deer!" He stormed back towards you, and for the first time in a while, the irate look in his eyes truly frightened you. If looks could kill, you'd be dead on the ground. Though, he was not angry at you, his anger was only focused on one man.
"I don't care! Think about what could happen to you if the Ministry found out you harmed one of their own!" You exclaimed, praying that Severus would see through his blinding anger and choose to not do something foolish to Ben, despite how fierce his wrath was.
Severus paused for a moment as if to contemplate your words - though his consideration of your opinion was cut short as he whipped around once more; that vicious fire exploding inside of him like a deadly inferno. He was truly devoted to the thought of inflicting more harm than necessary to Bluewater.
At this point, you couldn't stop him. There was no way you could follow him with your injury. You watched on helplessly as he sweeped out of the classroom, slamming the door behind him. There was only one other person that could help you.
"Remus!" You yelled, cursing your weakened shoulder as you stood, breathing sharply in a dire attempt to lessen the pain that was slowly burning its way through your torso. "Remus!" You yelled once more, and immediately the door swung open, his familiar face adorned with an utterly worried look.
"What's wrong?" He questioned, quickly rushing over to you.
"It's Severus, he's gone to find Ben, you need to stop him, please," You panted, desperately grabbing onto the the material of his suit jacket that sat on his bicep. "I don't want him to do something he'll regret."
"Merlin," Remus muttered and nodded, turning swiftly to rush after the Potions Master. "Will you be alright?" He stopped to ask, running a stressed hand through his hair.
"Yes, yes, I'll be fine, now, please just go!" You sighed heavily and leaned against a table beside you, hissing as your shoulder was now screaming at you in horrific pain. You were truly starting to worry now, had you fractured it- or broken it? Ben had shoved you quite harshly...
Your eyes darted around Severus's classroom, lingering on the potion ingredients that lined the wall. The only thing you could do was wait.
Or potentially brew a potion to help your agonising pain...
Severus's thunderous footsteps echoed hauntingly throughout the castle corridors as he stormed his way to your chambers; his fingers twitching at his sides, eagerly awaiting the chance to lay his hands upon Bluewater, the way he did to you.
That rotten bastard, Severus thought, he could kill him without a second thought right now. In fact, in the very back of the Potion Master's mind, he was truly considering it. The only thing Severus wanted to hear right now was Bluewater's bloodcurdling screams as he made him suffer through either physical or mental hell. All he had to do was lock the door, cast muffliato, and go to town. That was all too tempting for Snape. It was too easy. And that's what scared him.
As he neared your chambers, a stream of warm light began to pour out from underneath the door, and Severus deduced that Ben had awoken from Remus's spell. He quickly softened his footsteps and snuck towards your door, donning his wand in his hand. There was two ways he could go about this - he could barge in and surprise the bastard, or he could do it quietly. Perhaps the latter would be a little less idiotic.
Severus pushed your door open gradually with his hand, cautiously moving forwards as he pointed his wand into your chambers. A pained groan came from the floor, and the professor cast his eyes downwards and was met with an embarrassing mess shuffling around on it. Just the back of his head sent Severus into an blinding furious spiral, and he stormed towards him, grabbing the back of his top to hoist him upwards onto his feet.
"Get th'fuck offa' me!" Bluewater drawled, still groggy from Remus's spell as he pathetically tried to fight the Potion Master's hand that had a hold of his flimsy shirt. Relentlessly, Snape dragged him through the room, the scratching sound of Bluewater's shoes scraping across the wooden floor and Snape's pounding footsteps filled the silence. He yanked the boy upwards and dropped him on his arse, watching in delight as a pained look flashed across his face.
"Watch your mouth, Bluewater," Snape snarled, poking the tip of his wand into his neck, earning a glare from the boy.
"You." Bluewater spat, his eyes narrowing into a glare. "You sonuva' bitch! You slimy fuckin' bastard, how dare you-"
"How dare I? How dare you lay a finger on her!" Snape bellowed at Bluewater, his teeth bared in a ferociously fearsome scowl.
"I never touched her." Bluewater's lips quirked into a vile smirk, and this only fuelled Snape's burning hatred for the boy. Without a second thought, he kicked the side of Bluewater, sending him tumbling onto his side, screeching in pain.
"Don't lie to me, Bluewater!" Snape growled as he fisted the front of his shirt, pulling him up to his towering height, the tips of his toes barely grazing the floor.
"You miserable git," The boy hissed through gritted teeth as he had one hand glued to his throbbing side. "She'll never work again, Snape. All because of you."
"Don't push me, you foolish boy." Snape huffed, his chest heaving uncontrollably as his anger got the best of him.
"In fact, neither will you." Bluewater added, his tone cocky and ignorant. Snape couldn't control himself any longer, and so he threw the boy to the ground again rather harshly, forcing a cry of pain from him. He felt nothing. Nothing but hot rage.
"Severus!" Remus suddenly called out from behind him, panting. "Expelliarmus!"
Snape's wand fell to the ground.
Remus felt his blood run cold as Snape turned to look at him with a face like a maddened bull. "Just... calm down, Severus, take a moment," The professor said softly, holding out a hand to try and defuse the situation. As he stared at the furious Potions Master, he was sure he could see red-hot steam pouring out of his ears. "You don't want to do this, Severus. Believe me." Snape's shoulders rose and fell rigidly as he looked on in disbelief at Lupin. "Y/N wouldn't want this."
Your name rolled off of Lupin's tongue like a bullet into Severus's chest.
"You must've drugged her," Bluewater spoke again, his voice making Snape's eye twitch, "there's no way in hell that she'd choose to be with you. She hates you. The amount of shit we used to talk about you, Merlin..." The boy knew he was getting underneath Snape's skin.
"Severus," Remus tried again helplessly. "Don't react."
"Silence!" Snape practically snarled at Bluewater as the seething blaze inside of him ignited once more.
"You don't deserve her, and you never will. You really think she'd fall for some ugly, pathetic and old git like you? Perhaps all that time in the potion classroom made you delusional." Bluewater spat, shuffling forwards on the ground. "You should ask her about what happened earlier, between us, I bet you'd-"
"Stupefy!" Remus yelled, aiming his wand at Bluewater, watching as his body fell limp once more.
Snape stared at Ben's unconscious body, his mind suddenly becoming a warzone after his last words before Remus had knocked him out. What happened earlier between you and Ben? Were his thoughts true? Was Bluewater right? Did you hate him?
"Severus,"
"What?!" Snape hissed, turning to face Lupin with a hideous look upon his face. Lupin offered an apologetic cock of his head, before nodding at Bluewater.
"The memories..." Remus muttered. Snape clenched his jaw at the words.
Memories. Right.
The Potions Master slowly padded over to Bluewater, pointing his wand at his temple. He paused for a moment, contemplating his next move.
"Legilimens." Snape whispered, shutting his eyes as he delved into Bluewater's memories. Snippets of him as a child, happy and screaming with laughter flashed before Snape's eyes, and so he continued deeper, watching the moment he met you in the pub, and when you spent the first night together. The professor hissed at the sight as a pang of hurt and jealousy struck him in his chest. He pushed through, skimming through more and more memories, finally finding the one thing he was looking for. It was you and Ben, sharing a glass of wine in your bedroom earlier on.
He'd stood up and stumbled towards you, clearly drunk. "I miss talkin' to you, Y/N." He sighed, taking his hand and placing it upon your cheek; carressing it with his thumb.
"Yeah." You'd replied. Severus felt his heart drop at this point.
Slowly, Ben crouched down until you two were eye-level, his hands slipping to your ankles. Severus felt his skin suddenly ignite with jealousy. "Ben.." You warned, sighing.
"Whaat?" Ben had whispered back, heavy-lidded eyes still glued to yours as his fingers began to trail up your calves. He began to stand up slightly, pushing his face dangerously close to yours, and so you leant backwards, your back gradually making contact with the bed. He shuffled forwards slightly, pressing a knee against the edge of the bed to balance himself.
Severus watched on in horror as you shut your eyes. Ben's fingers lingered along the backs of your soft thighs, pulling a breathy sigh from your lips. Slowly, you opened your eyes again as Ben's nose pressed into your neck, followed by his wet lips. You gasped as his hands found your torso, his fingers pressing into your flesh.
Immediately, Severus pulled out of Ben's mind. He couldn't watch anymore. He was right. Merlin, he was right. For a moment, he inhaled sharply, quickly regaining his composure. "Obliviate." He muttered swiftly, filtering through Ben's memories and erasing every single one that contained you or Severus.
"A job well done." Remus said awkwardly as he watched Severus sheath his wand. He frowned as he stared at the back of the raven-haired wizard, silently pondering why he hadn't moved. He stood there for another good few seconds, staring wordlessly at Ben's unconscious body. Then suddenly, he spun on his heel, storming past Remus and shouldering him rather harshly. He couldn't bear to look at anyone that reminded him of you, and unfortunately for Remus, he fell under that now.
He berated himself for even letting himself get so close to you. How could he have done this to himself? Of course you didn't just want him. He was just some sort of... twisted fantasy to you. And yet, he was still willing to help you get out of this mess. That's the undeniable power of love, he supposed.
Once you were free, he'd let you go.
As Severus walked away, he could hear Remus calling his name, but he turned a blind eye and focused on marching back to his domain, the one place he felt at home, even though it used to be your arms.
You coughed and sputtered as the smoke from the cauldron in front of you began to get a little too thick, lining your lungs with what felt like some sort of tar. Perhaps you added a little too much puffer-fish. It did smell a little... oceany. A defeated groan left your lips as you let your head hit the table - after all these years you still royally fucked up potions. Severus wasn't going to be too happy that you'd burned another one of his precious cauldrons.
Suddenly, the slam of a door caught you offguard and you jumped at the loud noise, whipping around to see a rather distraught-looking Snape. That was not what you were hoping for.
"Severus? Everything okay?..." You swallowed, watching as he slowly stalked towards you, completely ignoring the burning smell of the cauldron in front of you. He didn't answer you. "Did you manage to erase them? The memories?" You tried again.
"Yes." Was all he said, his eyes burning into yours with what felt like sorrow.
"What happened?"
"Why did you lie to me?" He suddenly asked, catching you offguard.
"What?"
"You were going to stay with him." He stated matter of factly, his voice quivering a tad as he tried to hide the indescribable hurt that was undoubtedly going to eat him alive.
"That's not true, Severus." You shook your head, your brows knitting together in a wild mix of confusion and hurt. His jaw clenched at your words.
"Do not lie to me!" Severus bellowed, sweeping away from you. You flinched at the volume of his voice.
"I'm not!" You cried out, attempting to follow him as he made his way to his desk. "Severus!" You cried again, making him whip around to face you, his eyes overflowing with hurt and misdirected anger.
"I do not have time for liars, Y/N."
"Severus, just please, explain what happened!"
"What happened between you and Bluewater earlier?" He inhaled with the same sharpness that pierced his chest as he spoke those nightmarish words.
Gods, how did he know about that? Ben must have said something to get back at him. You cursed the little bastard, but at the same time, this was also your doing. You gave into the selfish pleasure.
"He just kissed my neck, that was it, I promise." You said slowly, praying he'd believe you. Severus stared down at you, unwavering, his eyes glossing over. Your heart broke at the sight.
Perhaps you deserved this.
Severus paused for a moment, letting his black eyes study your petrified face. Clearly, you were terrified of losing him. He could see it in your eyes. That broke him. But it did not break him as much as the hellish thing he saw in Bluewater's mind. "I can't trust you."
This was your karma.
It suddenly felt as if the floor had given way beneath your feet. Your knees went weak, and all trace of feeling in your body went numb like you'd been paralysed. "No, Severus- please, you have to believe me-"
"I'm sorry, Y/N." Severus turned away from you as he felt a wave of unruly sadness and betrayal wash over him - something he hadn't felt in years. You desperately grasped onto his arm, the rough, black material beneath your fingers felt so uncomfortably familiar - and now it was going to be something you could only remember. "Let me go, please." The crack in Severus's voice made you release your grip.
This was it. He was really ending things between you two, for real.
"No," You sobbed. The pain from your shoulder injury felt like a pinprick compared to what you were feeling now. "Sev, please." Your cries broke his heart, and all he wanted to do was cradle you in his arms, and tell you everything was going to be okay - but he couldn't do that. Not now. Not ever.
You watched as his head raised upwards, his back still towards you. "Leave me, now, Y/N." Severus muttered and a trace of venom lingered in his words.
Without another word you left, making a straight beeline for Remus Lupin, wherever he was.
angst is my middle name, guys, i can't get enough of it. HA
I know a good chunk of people don't know this because of the over censorship of other sites so I just wanted to let you know this! Please don't censor out certain words in posts like violence or abuse as it messes with the algorithm on tumblr and people that have those words filtered/blocked see the content because they have the actual words blocked and not the word written like ab*se. Tumblr doesn't have the same censorship rules as tiktok or twitter.
Hope this helps!
oh shit- thank you so much!! i’ll change that now, thank you so much for letting me know!! <3 whoops 😖 sorry!
Also guys holy shit?????????????? thank you so much for over 1,000 notes on this?????? never in my life did i think it would pass maybe 10, 50 notes max!! i know this is a fanfic BUT i'm so incredibly thankful to you all :) <3 love you. thank you.
hiii! i just wanted to pop in real quick and tell you how amazing i think your work is. i read through your shameless story and oneshots and they hit just the right spots i needed scratch. i cant wait to read what else you have!!
also that latest part for shameless 😤😤😫😫😡😡
hey thereee anon :) thank you so much :( you're too kind, i think my work is incredibly mid compared to other writers on here!! like i sit here reading some work and i'm just in awe. but thank you for even considering my work to be good, honestly. <3 i've just posted part 15 to Shameless if you were still interested in it! :) hope you a great day anon. love ya.
Hello! i was wondering if you could make a fic of snape finding a fem reader in a carriage at the yule ball {she is alone pleasuring herself} and he decides to help her out, but this is a repeat occurrence and they do yk in the forest behind a painting maybe in his classroom? or the quittich stands , i really want it multi chapters and i havent found ANYTHING like this, please please please write this!{i would prefer if it was his assistant but student is also fine by me}
tysm,
sniffelus <3
{owl pecks your hand and nudges to its pouch for payment}
hey sniffellus!! maybe after shameless is done, i'll consider this :) it might be a while though, that's the only thing!! just a forewarning ;( thank you for considering me to write this though, it seems quite interesting.. i'm always down to write smut, it's one of my guilty pleasures hehe. i hope you've had a fantastic day! <33
Hey, just wanted to say that the first thing I check when I wake up in the morning is your masterlist to see if you had posted any update, because I love your writings it's litterly the best. <3
hey!! that's really sweet of you, and i'm sorry i took so long to write the next part, i just had no motivation or creative juices to do so. after yesterday and today i believe they're back, so perhaps i'll get writing part 16 tomorrow. :) thank you so much for following my story, it really means a lot <3 i hope you had a spectacular day :)
Happy new year, hope you're okay, miss u and ur incredible work.<3
hey anon! this is so late but happy new year to you too! <3 i missed you and your incredible self too. part 15 is now live :) hope the start of your year was brilliant!
