Sesamseed

  I know it's misspelled

[bumblebeebats]

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

[spectralhauntings]

I've been using the pet poison hotline's poison list cause it has a search function. It also tells you whether something is mildly, moderately, or severely toxic which can be very handy! It doesn't contain like everything but it might be a good place to start, it also includes plants for fellow houseplant lovers <3

Explore Pet Poison Helpline®s vast knowledge on poisons by reviewing our pet poison list. Explore our top 10 poison and holiday poison lists

[littlemousling]

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

[blackheart-biohazards]

😈 You are not bound by the Hays code.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who are not punished by the narrative by the end of the story.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who win.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who make evil look fun and cool.

😈 You are allowed to make your fun, cool evil character the protagonist.

😈 You are allowed to glorify, romanticize and eroticize evil characters and villainous acts.

😈 You are not obligated to teach your audience a moral lesson.

[dovesndecay]

[were--ralph]

tumblr is the funniest social media site to go viral on

[were--ralph]

on tiktok people will quit their jobs after going viral once but on here not only can any post get 50k notes, but if it does theres nothing you can do with it. theres no monetization or any transferable skills at all. you just made a funny post and people liked it and thats the start and end of your career

[were--ralph]

you could say "i left the stove on" with no context and it might break containment on here and people start tagging it with ships and kins and theres no way to delete it forever unless staff gets involved. your mistake will never go away but your claim to fame will instantly

[were--ralph]

its like yes im the pineapple werewolf guy but no one outside of here and like 5 posts on reddit will ever know what that sentence means. i could jump on tiktok and no one would know me. no one on youtube or facebook. this is my little corner of the internet and i will die here before i give up that title and when i do know i lost nothing in the process

[were--ralph]

exactly

[starofhisheart]

Happy pride to those 5 seconds where Charlie Swan thought Jacob was coming out to him in the most insane way possible

[sister-lucifer]

i would trust weird al with my drink at a party. granted he may put one of those capsules that expands into a sponge animal in it,

[rhyme-plus-zombie]

sorry i had a vision and i just had to draw it

[waxenneat]

This was a man, dressed as a plant, making pigeon noises at people walking by. I said hello, asked if it was okay to take his picture, and then asked why he was dressed as a plant. He said, “I’m just working through some stuff. Thank you for asking. No ones asked yet.”

[anekie]

I’ve been dealing with stuff the wrong way. 

[haunted-skitty-doll]

So I screwed up the proposal minigame

[jan-seni]

[komaedalovemail]

i fucking hated your shoelaces this entire time

[butterfirefly]

for the uninitiated

[beardedmrbean]

Congratulations on the cat

[quailfence]

[Image description: Twitter thread by marqix (star) (@fwmarqix ) which reads as follows:

Me: entering Japanese cat café. employee stops me immediately. Employee: One rule. Me: Okay. Employee: Orange cat bites people from France. Me: I'm not French. Employee: Good. I sit down, cats everywhere, peaceful, adorable, therapeutic. then gigantic orange cat jumps onto table, built like retired wrestler. Cat staring at me aggressively. Employee watching nervously from distance.

Me: I thought he only hated French people. Employee: He improvises. cat slowly pushes my drink off table while maintaining eye contact. Me (in all caps: This is targeted small child nearby points at cat. Child: That one evil. Employee: No no, He just passionate. cat suddenly climbs onto my lap, starts purring violently. Me: …wait he likes me? Employee shocked. Employee: Impossible.

another worker comes over, then another, entire staff now observing me like chosen prophet. Manager arrives. Manager: He has never trusted customer before. Me: What does that mean. Manager bows slightly. Manager: You must take him. Me (in caps): Take him where. orange cat already asleep on me. Employee quietly bringing adoption papers. Me (in caps): I came here for coffee. End description.]

Do NOT delete my description if you reblog from me, it is for accessibility. If you do I WILL block you.

[meangirlnurse]

oh my god

[meangirlnurse]

[boypart-blog]

WHAT!!!!

[transhumanisticpanspermia]

No

They can leap 36 feet

As in leap forward 36 feet

They don’t jump 36 feet into the fucking sky do you know how terrifying that would be the human race wouldn’t have survived because we’d have all had heart attacks while still in Africa

[handsomeamoeba]

[endquestionmark]

#death from above

[uhouse]

this post makes me cry every single damn time

[gabbigabriella]

This is one of those legendary posts that’s been around since I first made a Tumblr. When I didn’t have access to my Tumblr for a few years I would sometimes reference this post. Iconic lol

[venndaai]

have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.

[venndaai]

they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.

their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.

longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years

toxic flesh

has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.

lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion

largest genome of any shark

eats everything including moose and polar bears

ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you

[fluorescentbrains]

this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard

just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !

[muffinlance]

Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!

Eye-opening research: Greenland sharks maintain vision for centuries through DNA repair mechanism

Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir

I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks

[kiwi]

as a former escape room host i highly recommend doing an escape room as a first date. its a great way to learn how ppl react under pressure and how well they collaborate with you right off the bat. also more than once ive seen people enter an escape room as a couple and exit broken up LOL its a fantastic litmus test

[kiwi]

sorry to broadcast ur tags but this is also a valuable part of the litmus test! it seems like you learned a lot about how this person makes you feel in their social group. they didn't go out of their way to include you, and neither did their friends. therefore you can come to a pretty good conclusion about how you might feel being part of their life outside of an escape room; someone who doesnt include you or your feelings in a game is likely going to do the same in other situations

[softness-and-shattering]

An experiment with a clear negative outcome is still a successful experiment.

[godlessondheimite]

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

[nobodys-odyssey]

Taylor Swift does this

[godlessondheimite]

no she doesn’t

[nobodys-odyssey]

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

[dancinbutterfly]

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic

[dangerousducktape]

So it has come to my attention that the audiodrama community has quite some representation in the 2026 sexyman competition.

Therefore I'd like to give you reasons to vote for my personal favourite bastard, Elias Bouchard.

First off, the source media, the Magnus archives is an amazing horror podcast that started of with a small creator casting his family members and friends, and it has actual GOOD queer representation. (Including the main character(s)

NOW WE GOT THAT OUT OF THE WAY, LET'S GO TO ELIAS. (contains spoilers for up to s4 of TMA. But hear me out on him PLEASE)

● He is this at the first glance average middle aged guy in a suit, in charge of a completely disrespected academic institution that researches paranormal phenomena.

● He sold his soul to an eldritch god of watching and knowledge, yet spends most of the time in an unassuming office.

● LOVES SCHEDULING. Commited pipe murder. When interrogated about said murder he pulled an uno reverse card on the officer by listing HER crimes back to her along with her own THOUGHTS and proceeded to blackmail her about it. He wasn't even the suspect.

● He can read your mind, look out of any eye or depiction of an eye, know anything and put information in your mind. (I'll let the potential of these powers to your imagination)

● He later confessed to this and another murder, not out of necessity but simply to be a smug cat meme. HE IS the smug cat meme. He let himself be arrested and spent an entire season in prison before revealing he could've walked out at any point. He just didn't.

● He provides stable employment that you can never quit.

● He is in a CAST-APPROVED fanon on and off marriage with a man who serves the god of loneliness and funds his little academic institute. They single-handedly raised the statistic of divorce in britain because they always re-marry after each divorce.

● He MOANED when the main character used eldritch powers on him.

Listen to mag 82 eyewitnesses if you want proof, it's the interrogation episode. You won't regret it. His voice actor has an extremely attractive voice.

Last but not least, he's in one of the most dramatic polls here, there's loads of notes and percentages barely budge by 0.1s. It's better than a sports match to me.

Vote for him so we keep the poll fun

[aeyriabird]

sorry to post religious ads but i got this ad

and i can't get over how the artist/graphic designer clearly went in knowing they were replicating classic holy white bird imagery and did a decent job with the editing too, except they either don't know what a dove is, don't know that the bird being specifically a dove matters, or just got real lazy and chose the first all white bird that came up in search results because that is fully a seagull in that image

[delgrosso]

GOD IS COMING FOR YOUR FRENCH FRIES

[capybaralovers]