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@sexuallyconfusedcoathanger
I havenât posted anything in years but I just had to say this
If IT was set in the late 2010s Eddie would only be allowed to listen to Kidz Bop nothing else Sonia just wouldnât let him
Iâm not done
He wouldnât know these were covers of real songs until heâs in the car with one of the losers and a song comes on the radio and heâs like âI love this songâ and proceeds to sing the completely wrong lyrics
I havenât posted anything in years but I just had to say this
If IT was set in the late 2010s Eddie would only be allowed to listen to Kidz Bop nothing else Sonia just wouldnât let him
If anyone wants to know how much of an absolute gay disaster I am the girl I like has kissed me twice TWICE and Iâm still too afraid to ask her to date me
Iâm gunna deactivate in real life bc today at school I said lmao outloud
I genuinely fucking said lmao outloud infront of my friends
Toshinori is way too tactile and happy for Aizawa
two very bright boiz
Iâm listening to the howls moving castle theme rn and the beginning makes me feel like a widowed Hollywood film star in the 50s walking around her mansion in candle light with heels clicking on marble and stone floors as I delicately take off my jewellery that is worth thousands of pounds and the second half is a flash back to me and my wealthy wife spinning elegantly in our ball room wearing beautiful contrasting designer gowns as the live band plays and everyone watches in awe as these two film star lesbians fly around the dance floor
Flip your phone upside down
worth it
Iâm high rn and I just experienced pure joy
Coming into a fandom late
Coming into a fandom early and watching it become an angry clusterfuck
Being in a dormant fandom that suddenly comes alive again after a new book/movie
Donât forget about those who come in the midst of a fandom war.Â
Accuracy at its best
Being in a fandom and not even knowing thereâs a war going onâŚ
all of this shitâŚlol
When Youâre Not In The Fandom But Youâre Nosy AF
When you get into a fandom only to discover itâs dead
This gets better every time I see it.Â
@fuboos-mess
Being in a dead fandomâŚ
Or being in such a tiny fandom that it feels like youre the only one
The accuracy hurts.
Being in a fandom that had a shit ending.
When youâve been fangirling long enough, youâve experienced all of the above.
Being in a fandom meant for kids.
This just gets better..
@mi-kleos
When you realize that joining the fandom has ruined you
Fandom hell in general
Yes.
This^^^ just⌠ALL OF THIS.
Being in so many fandoms that you donât even know whatâs going on
THIS IS THE SKULDUGGERY FUCKING PLEASANT FANDOM IN ONE POST!!
Trying to recruit people to your fandom
Annnnnnndddd itâs back
Being in a fandom which has so many antis
Iâve probably reblogged this before, but that was before these great additions.
Being in a fandom that actually works together
Why is this so true? All of it.
being in a fanbase but all your mutuals suddenly turn into Kpop blogs
I always enjoy it when a good post comes around again and has been improved by the reblogs like the years for a fine wine.
Being in a fandom when shit goes down and everyone has different opinions
When you are in a fandom and donât care for others people opinionâŚ..even if they are rightâŚ(believe me, I have met several of those)
Being in a fandom you never meant to join
I love this. and itâs gotten better
After abandoning a fandom youâre still a little bit emotionally invested inâŚ.
THIS IS A TUMBLR RELIC! ALWAYS REBLOG!
The accuracy hurts
i recently found out spiders canât stand peppermint and all i could think about was peter finding out one day that heâs inherited that part of being a spider after trying to eat something peppermint flavored
tony: hey, want a stick of gum?
peter: sure! *puts the gum in his mouth, then expressionlessly opens his mouth and lets the gum fall onto the floor*Â
tony:
peter: what the fuck was that
Iâm crying
keith: why did you cut off the sleeves of all your shirts?
Shiro: Adam is back on Earth and heâs basically 85% of my impulse control
Shiro *turns up at Adams door 4 years late with a new arm, white hair, the old kid whos now 6â, three new kids, four aliens, 6 pets and one (1) frozen mocha frappachino from starbuck*: sorry im late honey i ran into something
Adam *clearly hadnt had enough coffee to deal with Shiroâs bullshit*: next time im getting the groceries
i really want lance to come out to shiro after hearing he was engaged to adam and while i want it to be an emotional and touching moment i also want it to be like
lance: shiroâŚiâŚi like guys. like, like like them.
shiro: [knocks back another shot of nunvil] lmfao me too
ADAM!!
i cant believe it
Does anyone remember the ââKwanzaa Cakeââ by Sandra Lee?? that thing was such a fucking trainwreck. she stuck fucking dinner candles in it the kind you use in a candlestick she just stabbed them in
âteaspoon of cinnamonâ idk sandra u sure thatâs enough
she just dumps a whole can of canned apple pie filling in the center. just. cold apple goo from a can
âDecorating is so much fun! use acornsâ
pictured above: corn nuts
not pictured above: acorns
Sheâs stabbing the cake so that the dinner candles will fit iâm crying
there she go
Now we just spinkle some unflavoured pumpkin seeds and âacornsâ on top of this chocolate-cinnamon frosting covered, apple pie filling stuffed angle food cake for that authentic Kwanzaa Flavourâ˘
sheâs cutting into it i have tears in my eyes it looks so sad
âkil me motherâ
âleT ME DIEâ
behold. the food of kings
this is what pure bliss looks like
I love this every time
Iâm going to add the confessional from the ghostwriter who came up with this thing. It originally appeared on HuffPo, but has been taken down. Hereâs the link to where I found it, though:Â http://www.eurweb.com/2010/12/woman-behind-sandra-lee%E2%80%99s-%E2%80%98kwanzaa-cake%E2%80%99-explains-debacle/
âThe Making of the Infamous Kwanzaa Cake
Okay, Iâm only going to say this once and then Iâm leaving the country. Seriously, by the time this post is up, Iâll be in Thailand. I think itâs better for everybody.Hereâs the truth. I wrote and sold the recipe for the Kwanzaa cake to Sandra Lee and, while Iâm confessing my soul, yes, for Christâs sake, the Chanukah cake, too. There, I said it.
Forgive me Father.
I can honestly say Ms. Lee had nothing against African Americans or Jews. She just has incredibly bad food taste. She was not discriminating about who would be harmed from her culinary âcreations.â Think what your taste would be like if you came from carnival or circus people. Did I just offend Paris Hilton?
When the Angel Food Cake Collection came to life, Ms. Lee was converting to Judaism herself for her new husband and she seriously wanted to bring her new âcuisineâ to an entire nation. Well, letâs put it this way, she wanted to sell a shitload of books. And she did. She wanted fame and money. And she succeeded. I believe thatâs often thought of as the American dream by many, isnât it? Note to all American Dreamers: This may be a good time to take a look inward.
I think I hear the audible gasps. Iâm wondering how long before the angry mob will be gathering on my front yard. Crap, will they bring torches? Will my neighbors call the fire department?
In my defense, I must start at the beginning. Iâve been developing recipes for cookbook authors and food companies for over twenty years. At least twenty of the fifty cookbooks Iâve ghostwritten or contributed to have ended up on the New York Times Best-Seller List. Many celebrities or TV chefs hire me because they are too busy to write their own recipes. This is not unusual.
In some cases, the âtalentâ, as they are known in the business, have no talent. They do not know how to write a recipe or even cook, for that matter. Therefore, as a trained chef, food stylist and recipe writer, I come in handy.
I sell recipes from $100-$400 dollars apiece plus the cost of groceries. I love it. Not only is it fun, creative and challenging, I get to study all kinds of food. Most projects are just plain terrific. Iâm humbled by the amazing people Iâve gotten to write and work for.
But (isnât there always a but?)âŚwait for itâŚwait for it.
One night in my office, at least 10 years ago, my phone rang. I answered it. If only I had noticed that my dogs started to howl and blood mysteriously started seeping from the walls. Alas, I did not. So excited to close the sale, I made an appointment with a personal assistant to meet âthe next Martha Stewart, only bigger.â I was happy to think about this latest project that would help feed my assistants.
It turned out that the premise of this cookbook would be âdelicious desserts with nothing made from scratch.â This book would be the second in a series. The first book was almost done, but apparently the writer, food stylist and recipe tester from that first book had all gone sailing in the Bermuda Triangle to celebrate and had disappeared. The books were being self-published by Ms. Lee, unless she could find a publisher, ASAP. She really, really wanted a publishing partner.
I âm not sure if it was because my head was spinning 360 degrees and my retinas had become burned by some horrible smoke that seemed to fill the room whenever she moved, but I wasnât grasping the concept. âNo fresh food. Just canned food. Nothing fresh, do you understand me? All food out of cans or boxes, so itâs easy for the homemaker âŚand write the brand name of the cans or boxes right in the recipe.â
I assumed it was the ten years of smoking dope in my formative years that was making me stupid. Then I thought, okay, this is another slant on The Cake Mix Doctor, by Anne Byrn. A book that had been wildly successful. I can do this.
Before you say a word, let me say one more thing in my defense.
I have people that depend on me for their livelihood. Assistants, designers, photographers, and especially my American Express Platinum card. I sign the checks, so I have to bring in the money. To make my small business work, I took the job. First time I ever signed a contract. Of all the truly big stars and real celebrities Iâve worked with, it was always just a handshake and my reputation for getting the job done that created the deal. To put it simply, I deliver what I say I will.
Ms. Lee insisted on a contract. Her attorney at the time also sold Mexican art.
Please, I canât make this shit up.
Fuck me; of course I should have seen the writing on the wall.
Thirteen months past and after exactly 151 recipes, I tried to fake my death.
Ms. Lee called and though we were done with the book, she needed at least ten extra angel food cakes for âfunâ sugary holiday times to sell to a magazine. Just a readerâs note, it wasnât Gourmet, but the magazine I designed those âadorable cakesâ for is still in business.
Read it and weep.
Please ask yourself, what would you have done in my place? See how that Kwanzaa cake is looking better from my perspective? I will tell you truly, the candles were her idea.
I guess I imagined something more refined. And I know the Corn Nuts were disgusting, but she didnât. As a matter of fact, the more tasteless the recipes got the more she liked them, the faster she approved them, and I could get home and drink some medium-priced wine after our meetings. Sheâs not a good role model for abstinence.
Get it?
The last words Iâll speak, before I board my plane and go to a land where nobody knows Sandra Lee, is that I had to fill the cavity of the Chanukah cake with marshmallows so it wouldnât collapse under all that frosting, and so that much-discussed pearl Star of David âcrownâ wouldnât topple. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Iâve never watched any of the videos on YouTube. My priest says, âNever call the devil.â
And to think, Anthony Bourdain was afraid of her. Crap, he was never even close.â
@sassking-trevor @peppapigvevo i am losing my fucking mind rn
The plan had some holes...
Context: I played a human princess skilled in alchemy. Me, a ranger, and a mage weâre trying to solve a famine crisis by creating a stampede to fall down a cliff.
Dm: Okay, so the stampede starts and Marus (the mage) is leading the herd as a beautiful white stag.
Ranger: (Ooc) waitâŚthe other two donât know he was going to turn into a stag, right?
Mage: âŚ
Dm: No, they donât.
Ranger: I roll to shoot the stag. (Proceeds to get 14)
Mage: (Ooc) I knew there was something we forgot in the plan.
Dm: (trying not to laugh too much) okay Marus, roll for constitution check.
Mage: (rolls 18) (Ooc) THANK GOD
Dm: Okay Cyto (ranger) although you hit your mark and the stag is bleeding heavily, it wonât go down.
After the plan was a success, the mage was a hawk.
Mage: (Ooc) can I roll to shit on Cyto?
Dm: Go ahead
Mage: (rolls a 5) (Ooc) dammit!
Dm: (to ranger) You notice a hawk circle you and proceeds to try to shit on you. You slide to the left and dodge
this has probably been done before
