1. Make Eye Contact.
Your first reaction to this one might be, "duh." And yes,it SEEMS
obvious, but you might be messing this one up without knowing it.
That's because in order to send an effective signal with eye
contact, you need to hold your gaze longer than might seem natural.
Three whole seconds.
That's ONE one-thousand... TWO one-thousand... THREE one-thousand.
But then be sure to look away. You don't want to overdo this one.
There's a fine line between sending the "Hey, I noticed you. Come
talk to me," signal and "I'm a creepy stalker chick" signal.
2. Smile.
This is another seemingly simple tip that women screw up all the
time. It's not about mastering some super-sexy, sly, I'm-smiling-AT
-you smile.
You want to convey that you're warmhearted, fun and approachable by
smiling NATURALLY - at the girlfriend you're standing with, at the
people around you, at the bartender when he hands you your drink,
and - yes - at the cutiepie you've been trading glances with. Guys,
for all their tough talk, are just as scared of rejection as we are.
If you radiate friendliness to everyone around you, he's going to
get the message that if he takes the initiative to approach you,
you won't bite his head off.
3. Open with something playful.
Now whether he approaches you (recommended) or you decide to chat
him up (risky, but possibly effective if done right), I recommend
breaking the ice with a lighthearted, fun and, well, flirty
statement.
For example, I met my husband through my then-roommate (they were
longtime friends who talked on the phone a lot). When she first
introduced us, the first words out of my mouth were, "Oh... so
YOU're the guy I'm always taking phone messages from."
Of course I said this with a big grin on my face.
This set the tone for a playful, uber-flirtatious conversation that
resulted in him asking me on a date.
(After we had dated for a while, he confessed that my smart-alec
comment caused him to immediately be smitten with me. His words:
"I knew right then that you were a sassy one and it drove me
crazy... in a good way.")
Obviously you can't use my line since it was unique to my
situation, but try one based on your own.
Say, for example, you're at the dog park. Try something like,
"Your boxer is totally snubbing my pug! She can't help it if she
snorts."
Or if you're at a bar, "Oh...so you're a martini drinker? I've been
warned about guys like you."
Just remember - smile, keep it light - you're going for PLAYFUL,
not biting or sarcastic. Sarcasm will immediately play into his
fear of rejection and he'll flee faster than you can bat an eyelash.
4. Ask him questions about himself.
When you show interest in a man's life, he feels on top of the
world. By asking him questions about his career, his family, his
friends, his interests, etc - you create instant attraction. He
feels important and interesting, and he'll begin to associate that
feeling with being with you. He'll want to feel it again, which
is one of the subconscious motivators for him to ask you out.
(Of course if he is content just to talk about himself without
reciprocating questions about you, you may decide you don't want to
go out with him anyway. Who wants to date a self-centered
egomaniac?!?)
5. Laugh.
This goes along with #4. Women love a man with a sense of humor,
and guys are acutely aware of this. If you laugh at his jokes, his
confidence will skyrocket. He's succeeded at charming you... which
means he's got the green light to ask you out.
6. Reveal something unique about yourself.
As I mentioned in #4, hopefully this guy is doing his part to keep
the conversation flowing by asking you questions. This is your
opportunity to reveal something unique about yourself.
Maybe you have a talent like songwriting, do awesome things for
your community like building houses for Habitat for Humanity, or
are an aspiring inventor.
These things will pique his interest, intrigue him, and set you
apart from other women he knows.
Just be careful not to resort to "stupid human tricks" like showing
him that you're double-jointed or tying the stem from the cherry in
your drink into a knot with your tongue.
You're not trying out for the circus here and by the way, that
subtle sensual innuendo you think you're sending? Not so subtle.
7. Pay attention to body language.
I read a surprising statistic the other day: only 7% of
communication is verbal (that means 93% is nonverbal body language).
In other words, your actions (very literally) speak louder than
your words.
If a man spots you across the room but you have your arms folded
across your chest, that sends the subconscious signal "Stay away.
I'm closed off."
Conversely, if your posture is good and your shoulders are back,
opening up your frame, it sends the message that your heart is open
to possibilities (even if he's not consciously aware of it).
When you're engaged in conversation, leaning in toward him conveys
interest (that's when being in a loud, crowded bar can work to your
advantage! It gives you a legitimate reason to lean in and speak in
one another's ear, which creates a connection).
If you're seated, crossing your legs and pointing them toward him
also sends a message that you're interested. Very literally, it is
the act of aligning your body with his that signals, "we're in line
with one another."
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
So, the next time you're out and spot a guy you'd like to meet, try
using as many of my 7 Secrets as possible. If he's available (that
is: single and not emotionally closed off) and interested, he
should respond very favorably to these techniques!
prguitarman
origamiaround
vaporwave
blakekathryn
2087
baratheonpilled
snowghoul
dededos
areudirty
