TheEroticNoob

Just a simple, sexual imaginative girl sharing my dirty little fantasies. You can judge all you want but hey.... you’re the one reading them😏😉

[sexywriter316]

Dear me,

Why do I feel like I’m going to screw this up more? It’s hard to even go through this break up not thinking about how much he hurting. Was I in the right to break it off so he can focus? I just wanted to do best for us so we can be stronger and happier. Three years… that’s all I can think about. Three years of us going through so much pain, heartache and so much obstacles. Yet he stood by it all like I did. It’s scary to think I’m still not going to be enough for him even through this break up. So what can I do? Do I start over again and continue what we have or just be the “placeholder” for him until he find “The One”?

Do I still deserve the type of love he gives me? After the shit I done and put him through? In all honesty, I don’t think I do. Maybe freedom is in the cards of my life but I can’t decide. Hopefully fate is kind to me and make the choice I know that can make me happy and free. For now I have to focus on what needs to be done and make my dreams a reality. 2025 is the year things will come into plan and action. It’s going to be hard but I can do this. You got this Bre. I Love you

[sexywriter316]

What does it mean to be happy?

Have you ever pound this question in your mind, " What does it mean to be happy?" but you never really had the answer? Well, sometimes the answer can be either right in front of you or far away to a point of barely existing. For me, happiness can be good or bad, heck sometimes even painful but to what extent? In all honesty, happiness to me barely comes when it comes to myself. Now don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for each and every little thing that came my way...but am I truly happy? Am I happy to live my life? Am I happy for growing up to be the woman I turned out to be? Am I happy that there were some men in my love life who actually took the time to figure me out? Now that last question was hard to still answer due to different ideas about a relationship. So many things have not really been explained enough to answer but all we can do is see what happens and pray for the best to come. I'm not here to make people worry or be sad for me but to finally speak for myself for the first time in a long time. Right now, screaming and drowning in sorrow won't solve anything or even help. All that is said is written and done and the only direction t move is forward. Eventually, I'll be happy enough for myself to love myself but in the meantime now I just need to clear my mind and just worry about myself more than others.

This is the pause for this Tumblr writer. When will I be back? Who knows. See you hopefully soon and stay blessed.

[myniggazcrazy]

myniggazcrazy

[sexywriter316]

Theres something about this that is so wholesome and breathtaking to see such love blossom. It might be a vision on what the future could hold but so much effort and time is worth doing.

[sexywriter316]

Dear Bre,

You're tired. I can see it in your eyes and deep in your mind. You just want to escape so many times but never really had the guts to. So much has happened this month and mentally, you are not ok. You've been trying to keep a happy smile and attitude for now and so far it has been going good for now but now that storm coming back up.. that one dark, black cloud you tend to keep diminished is appearing again. On some days, you feel like drugs (medicated) might help keep you sane and calm just to survive the year but it won't help. You witness something that not only changes your perspective on life but sees so many things clearly now. Some nights be restless, heard, and tearjerking but you tried to make sure you still take care of yourself. Now you feel like your old self again...the constant low confidence, the urge to be perfect for so many people, and the problems you've been trying so hard to fix but they cant be fixed all the time. Bre, I think it's time to take some days off and find yourself again. Well... one day that will happen.

Sincerely, your mind

[sexywriter316]

A Perfect love?

One question that has been pondering in my thoughts... Is there such thing as perfect love? It's rare to find that special someone who wants to spend the rest of your life with but it's legendary to find your perfect soulmate. Someone whos willing to deal with the good and the bad sides you have, knowing you from inside and out, finding one small flaw that makes you imperfect. To some couples, they find a solution to keep the love alive while others just run away to make things easier. Little do they know that running away can have a positive or negative impact not only on themselves but the people who have been through the trials with them. We all know the stereotypical type of perfect relationships we see on tv... Martin and Gina, Will and Lisa, Steve and Laura and my personal favorite... Whitley and Dwayne. For now, I'm still searching for that "perfect" love but settling down with the person who sees me as perfect.

(Side Note: For those who don't know the names of the couples I reference... they're from the '90s shows Martin, Fresh Prince, Family Matters, and A Different World)

[sexywriter316]

Dear Bre,

You have been going through the roughest patch in your life. You have been crying, you been ill and been so distant. Who knew the one moment you decide to change for the better can backfire. You have done wrong and claimed your wrongs to make things better. I lost my best friend, the person you thought would stay by me and never let go. The terrible part of all this is that you still love him. Why still be in love with someone who wasn't happy? You should've never changed at all and stayed the same Bre he was in love with in the beginning. At this point, you have to accept this fate and try to make it through the day. You'll never know what the future holds now but all you can do is just pray for a great and brighter future involving the one you love so deeply. How can four years affect you so hard like this to the point of feeling so depressed? The connections that were made, the love you both made, the soul-bonding from two people who seen each other for who they really were. It all happened so fast within a blink of an eye. If there was ever a moment, you would start over again and just never change. Everyone would be happy again and you would be happy Bre. For now, just try.

Sincerely,

Your Heart

[sexywriter316]

Confession#2: The Past Hurts

Memories from the past haunts me but in a good and bad way. Its like four years of love cant be replaced or even disappear. Why is my heart aching for someone who wasn’t happy with me 😔 Its my fault for not staying

[sexywriter316]

Confessions#1: My Desires and Cravings🍯❤️😈

Let's start with the lust cravings. Usually this never really happens much during my fair game of love vs lust. Lust always takes over my deep desires and fantasies when it comes to me being submissive. Now a combo of lust and love does sound great and satisfying to have but it's very rare to come across. The thought of being choked pleasurably and getting my little punishments makes me melt just by thinking about it. My desires are very simple... just treat me like a queen and in the bedroom, treat me like your dirty little slut/princess.

[sexywriter316]

Next Wednesday is going to be very painful. Year 5

[sexywriter316]

I Didn’t heal long enough

[sexywriter316]

Never leave me alone when my mental state and my emotions collide cause at this moment, I want to let go all my anger and pain and just scream. It just doesn’t add up how quickly this big move happened but I cant do anything about it. This is your life, not mine but I see how it is for a moment

[sexywriter316]

Dear Bre,

Its almost that day and its feels weird to you a little since it cant be celebrated perfectly. This can take a while getting use to but dont be afraid. Alot have happened over the past few months and you made it so far. So for that day, take some time to yourself and just breathe through it. I promise you that it will get better and better in time. I believe in you ☺️❤️

Sincerely,

Your mental mind

[sexywriter316]

Wonder if I go to sleep, will I ever wake up again? Just give me one lucid dream…

[sexywriter316]

Im ready for a new life. A new change. A new meaning of love. A new type of me. All my mistakes erased from my mind. Im ready to live again.

[sexywriter316]

Can’t lie to myself or anybody else but I know I’m a weak woman when it comes to love. Yes I make mistakes, I’m not perfect but who is anyway in this world. I let lust get to me at one moment and it made me weaker and weaker each minute. I changed my ways and better myself not only for me but for him but it didn’t work. The damage been done and it left a huge cut. I wish I was the woman he fell in love with again and not the woman I am now that drove him away. Its my own heart fault for not letting my guard down and letting all my imperfections go. I need to do better no matter how many tears came out of me. I will do better, I will make everything ok. I will behave and make him happy

[sexywriter316]

Vent Time #1: Sex and Crap

In my mind, I know to trust people and not overthink but for some reason my guts tells me different. It been a while (2 months to be exact) since I engaged in sexual intercourse due to either a busy schedule or just not having time. Its not a big deal or problem with me but for my partner is kind of is. I trying to make time but its not that easy since a lot of things are about to change. My gut feeling is telling me to not worry but I guess I wouldn't be surprised if they was getting it from someone else. Then again I'm just venting so its whatever.