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Haven't been on in a while!
Check out this video!
Real Housewives Parody.
Wow.
It's been awhile
It's been a really shitty day.
I took some adderall though, and it is helping me focus. I need to knock this paper out. I've just been thinking a lot. About school, about life, about teachers. I really appreciate the teachers that kick your ass. I think for the past three years, aside from my music courses I haven't been challenged enough. I have had easy "A" classes, I have talked my way into a better grade...and it just isn't right.
I have a teacher this year that is amazing. She challenges us, she makes us write papers, critical thinking logs, read plays, rehearsal logs, and it is only a 3 credit course. I get an insane workout in her class three times a week and she is SO inspiring. I want to learn, I need to learn more, and I need to fight through my challenges. Like math this past summer. I cried at least 3 times a week, and went to office hours everyday, and I hated it, and wanted to drop the class, but I fought and fought and had no sleep and got a B. I worked so hard. So many people give up when things begin to get tough, but you can't!
I'm tired of half reading books. I'm tired of quitting workout programs! I'm tired of being lazy!
I'm tired!
I need to just bust through the things that are hard and keep going. So...I'm going to go work on my paper. I can do this. I will do this.
How I get through college.
Pot.
Good Books.
Pot.
I haven't worked out in 4 days bahh! I will tomorrow, I will tomorrow!
In other news, my audition tonight was awesome :D
Sad
Sad today. I really miss Chicago. I miss my friends there and I am jealous that they get to take more classes, see shows every night and take workshops. I know that I'll be able to move there eventually but it just sucks. I've been in bed all day, reading harry potter. I had a dream about Emma Watson and how she was in my Io program. lol. I guess I only have two things on my mind.
I start school on monday, which is exciting. I'm working on a monologue but not as much as I should be. I'm trying to think of ways to make it fantastic. I only have a minute to impress. I know that I am WAY more comfortable on stage, and in my own body now because of the past 5 weeks, and THAT will show. I guess I am afraid of judgement within the theater department. I feel like I am so different from everyone. I love improv, and being silly, and having fun. They love tormenting people, and flashing off their egos.
This will be the semester where I am going to try and "Not give a fuck." No one will stand in my way. I will get in a show and If I don't I will write my own dammit. I will get in shape, be healthy and happy and not put up with bullshit people that I have clung to for 21 years. I am done. I can't like everyone, and not everyone can likeme. But I will say this. I plan to work hard, and accomplish all of these goals and that is more important than trying to patch up some relationship with a douchebag.
Peace.
More harry potter reading.
Improv Crush.