DEATH - MIDAS *

- all people are driven to the point of eating their gods, after a time.

[sftantrot]

WHICH PART OF YOU IS HEALTHY FLESH AND WHICH IS ROT ??

SFANT ROT. a private, selective, and mutually exclusive writing blog for edhellis tavellan tisa, an original bhaalspawn oc based on larian's baldur's gate iii, filling the role of companion. sanctified by nyx. VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED ; violence and sexual content, whether covert or overt, may be present. trigger list found in carrd, section 005. minors dni.

AN STUDY IN : the ramifications of sainthood, what it means to survive a cult, worship seen through the lens of self-immolation, the guard dog, the sword, and the inherent tragedy of being both woman and feral.

TRAVELLING WITH : @raevildan, @weaverots, @selunight, @ch0sene, @victo1re

LINKS : carrd. pinterest. loose game timeline.

[zanaluna-a]

in   the   beginning   i   was   so   young  and   such   a   stranger   to myself   i   hardly   existed.   i   had   to   go   out   into   the   woods   and   see   it and   hear   it   and   react   to   it,   before   i   knew   at   all   who   i   was,   what   i was,   what   i   wanted   to   be.

[sftantrot]

quietly leaves this here

[sftantrot]

quietly leaves this here

[sftantrot]

a little update 💖 I've been toying with the idea for a long time, but I'm likely going to make a blog for the main character in my book (those who have known me prior to dnd-focused media in general know the journey that character underwent lmao and you're truly the best for sticking with me through it) so expect some exciting things happening this week

[sftantrot]

hello friends 💖 it's been a while and I truly am sorry for disappearing like this. it's been a very difficult period, with a few breakups - both romantic and platonic - happening symultaneously, and it's been a long process for my found family to recover. I will respond to the people who reached out tomorrow, as ever thank you for your continued patience

[sftantrot]

hey friends, i'm dealing with some difficult things out here irl, so if you see my activity fluctuate a bunch in the next couple of weeks, please be patient with me. I love you and I am glad you exist 💖

[sftantrot]

every time i babysit i am reminded how much i actually love kids

[sftantrot]

also ugh. something about being called good. here she is a thing made out of the thread nightmares are made from, devotion turned bloody and sharp, and she is good. she wants to be good. she'll break her back trying to find a way to become it.

[sftantrot]

you know where tisa likes being? on her knees, hands behind her back, serving.

[sftantrot]

watching star t.rek with my sisters and man. man. I forgot how much I love de.ana troi.

[sftantrot]

❛ my heart belongs to you, always and forever. ❜

there is a bright sort of softness in the way she looks at him. a kind of awe reserved for holy sites or particularly fantastical feats of ingenuity - which in more ways than one, is not that far from the truth. morena had done her hair, honey slow moments when weathered, agile fingers wove roses amidst the white strands, and that too is precious, that too is a gift he gave her among so many.

her skirts around her a waterfall of pale blues and glimmering purples, frothing white lace at the hem. the veil left somewhere in the hallway in the excitement of new beginnings. she'd insisted on embroidery, pretty things he can touch, the mound of clay in her workshop waiting patiently to be turned to living memory.

❝ ah, my husband the poet, ❞ she teases, cheeks flushed when the band of her ring catches the sunlight just so. two pieces intertwined into one just like they are. husband - so new and yet right, like two pieces slotting into place at last. like this is the reality she was meant to live. not saint or hero, but wife. ❝ i would walk across a thousand lifetimes to get to you, my sunlight. ❞

and then she kisses him. what is there left to do but that ??

[sftantrot]

that moment fathers begin hating their daughters these things they made so different from what they themselves are, something about that moment in which you become utterly unchangeable other

[millersamour]

I am my father’s daughter - I only know how to let people take

[governoir]

it's sordid business. the room reeks of curdled blood and other rusted things. room. cell. cage. haunt —- whatever one might call this place of abject horror and torture, general ketheric thorm performs a semblance of disgust when he steps into the space. he could always look grimmer when he comes down here, like the passage of time brings him no relief and coming closer to his goal is just another chore. he looks weak, haggard and bruised, a dried up corpse needing an injection of vitality to keep on moving.

he stands in front of her @sftantrot, his sacrificial lamb and unholy vessel for divine power of the foulest essence, and his gaze is already a hundred miles away. his face maggot white, like he's the one awaiting torture, cut open repeatedly and bled through and through and through to feed the dead.

‘‘ i wonder what your father should think of this. ’’ he is in a mood to talk, or just to provide the barest comfort. he lifts the dagger prepared for him in a silver tray, along with a goblet, ornate in its pretense, like there could ever be enough finery or decor to make this not brutality. ‘‘ do you resent him? for letting these things happen to you, for forsaking you? do you cry out to him? does he answer? i will admit i find it an offense. what kind of a father does not come to his daughter's aid when she cries in pain? ... perhaps that will be my reparation to you. when this war is won and my lord myrkul raises the undead in legions, i will have felled your father and defeated his kingdom. and that will be his punishment ... and my penance. ’’

[sftantrot]

all that she is - an exercise in death. in dying. her father's symphony played on the strings of her body, the unspoken, unsullied truth: she will raise as she is bid and one day, when she has done his bidding and he will find her worthy, she will be granted rest. and yet the sky is empty when she seeks his terrible gaze, and his voice does not reach her here. as hours bleed into days, then days into weeks, and her prayers go unanswered, the hound finds herself for the first time without master.

or, well... a master of a different kind. there is something that itches about a place that will not allow death to take root. something entirely wrong about decay that has nowhere to go. still, she exists to be consumed, and in truth this is no different from any other blade that had turned her into a spring to sate the thirst.

she offers her wrist willingly, lamb and not wolf. "who am i to question his design?" voice rough with lack of use, as if ran through sandpaper. she knows not what the gods see in their eagle eyed wisdom - cannot pretend her own narrow understanding is enough to even begin. but something in thorm's anger chafes; sometimes he speaks to her and she does not know what to do with the words, even as they burrow under her skin to stay. edhellis closes her eyes, draws in a shuddering breath. "i am his weapon. he needs not answer me if not with a command."

[sftantrot]

[...] she is a child and a mannequin and death.

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑷𝑰𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 / 𝒀𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  i can't stop thinking about you even when i try.  ❜ ❛  every time i see you, it's like my heart skips a beat.  ❜ ❛  i never realized how much i needed you until you weren't there.  ❜ ❛  do you ever feel like there's something missing ... like a piece of your heart is somewhere else?  ❜ ❛  i wish i had the courage to tell you how i feel.  ❜ ❛  if only you knew how much you truly mean to me.  ❜ ❛  do you ever wonder what it would be like if things were different between us?  ❜ ❛  sometimes i wonder if you ever think about me the way i think about you.  ❜ ❛  i had a lot of dreams about you recently.  ❜ ❛  somehow, you're always on my mind.  ❜ ❛  i think i've been in love with you since the day we met - scratch that, i know i've been in love with you since the day we met.  ❜ ❛  my biggest wish is to hold you close and never let you go.  ❜ ❛  all my life i've felt like a part of me was missing, but with you i've finally found it.  ❜ ❛  you deserve better than who i am right now, but i'm gonna keep trying to become someone you do deserve.  ❜ ❛  every time you smile at me, i get this flutter in my chest.  ❜ ❛  do you think i'll ever be worthy of your love?  ❜ ❛  i want to be the person to make you happy. the one person you can always come to with whatever you need.  ❜ ❛  will we ever get another chance together?  ❜ ❛  you were the best thing that's ever happened to me.  ❜ ❛  my biggest regret is ever letting you go.  ❜ ❛  i'm still in love with you ... and i honestly never stopped.  ❜ ❛  when i wake up in the morning, you're the first person i want to see.  ❜ ❛  every time i wake up, i check if you wrote me another message.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could be as important to you as you are to me.  ❜ ❛  it hurts when you don't talk to me like you used to.  ❜ ❛  i miss everything about you, your touch, your laugh, your smile. i wish i could have that back.  ❜ ❛  i want to fall asleep wrapped in your arms.  ❜ ❛  hold me closer; i always feel safer when you're with me.  ❜ ❛  there's so much i wish i was able to tell you.  ❜ ❛  i know things aren't easy right now, but i want to remain a fixture in your life. after all, you're one in mine.  ❜ ❛  i miss the way you always made me smile.  ❜ ❛  you're the reason i keep holding on.  ❜ ❛  maybe we're supposed so to remain a case of 'right person, wrong time' forever.  ❜ ❛  if only you knew how i feel about you.  ❜ ❛  i'm yearning to hold your hand in mine.  ❜ ❛  i think you are the one for me, and i hope one day i'll be the one for you, too.  ❜ ❛  do you think i'll ever become more than a friend to you?  ❜ ❛  my heart belongs to you, always and forever.  ❜ ❛  my first instinct is to protect you, no matter the cost.  ❜ ❛  i've been thinking about us a lot lately.  ❜