It's Always Sunny

[sgtembers]

i'm so tired of seeing these gay bitches (@ltsghostriley & @akariot) on my dashboard

their love makes me sick 🤢 🤢 🤢

[akariot]

he beats me

[sgtembers]

we both know you like it

[akariot]

Anyone else’s husband buy an iPhone just to track the multiple apple airtags he’s hidden in your stuff, or just mine?

[sgtembers]

He does know that Life360 has their own version of tags right? And the tracking is much better than airtags

[akariot]

He does it in case I lose my phone or it gets smashed. There’s a tag welded to the inside of my bike that I’m almost 90% sure he had to take off the frame to reach.

[sgtembers]

I still say that Life360 is better but alright ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[sgtembers]

i'm so tired of seeing these gay bitches (@ltsghostriley & @akariot) on my dashboard

their love makes me sick 🤢 🤢 🤢

[akariot]

Anyone else’s husband buy an iPhone just to track the multiple apple airtags he’s hidden in your stuff, or just mine?

[sgtembers]

He does know that Life360 has their own version of tags right? And the tracking is much better than airtags

[akariot]

why is there just a pack of hotdogs in the microwave?

What am I, the wiener connoisseur? I don’t fucking know, ask Gaz.

[sgtkgazgarrick]

I mean 😏

You’re married to Ghost aren’t you?

[ltsghostriley]

More of a bratwurst kind of man.

[akariot]

…

You both need your phone privileges taken away immediately.

[ltsghostriley]

On my laptop actually.

[sgtembers]

Y'all are terrible. But the hotdogs are my fault. Forgot I left them there...

I got hungry last night :)

[akariot]

The kitchen is on fire.

[sgtembers]

Uh. . . And that's my fault how? I definitely didn't use the microwave today.

[akariot]

You left them in the microwave 🤨 and then a recruit started the microwave 🤨 1 + 1 =2 🤨

[sgtembers]

Who the fuck starts a microwave without opening it to put something in????

If they had opened the microwave to put their own stuff in, they would have seen them.

Not my fault they didn't use their eyes.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[akariot]

Yelling at me like I’m the one who started the damn fire 🫩

[sgtembers]

If I was yelling, you would know. 🥰

[akariot]

why is there just a pack of hotdogs in the microwave?

What am I, the wiener connoisseur? I don’t fucking know, ask Gaz.

[sgtkgazgarrick]

I mean 😏

You’re married to Ghost aren’t you?

[ltsghostriley]

More of a bratwurst kind of man.

[akariot]

…

You both need your phone privileges taken away immediately.

[ltsghostriley]

On my laptop actually.

[sgtembers]

Y'all are terrible. But the hotdogs are my fault. Forgot I left them there...

I got hungry last night :)

[akariot]

The kitchen is on fire.

[sgtembers]

Uh. . . And that's my fault how? I definitely didn't use the microwave today.

[akariot]

You left them in the microwave 🤨 and then a recruit started the microwave 🤨 1 + 1 =2 🤨

[sgtembers]

Who the fuck starts a microwave without opening it to put something in????

If they had opened the microwave to put their own stuff in, they would have seen them.

Not my fault they didn't use their eyes.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[akariot]

why is there just a pack of hotdogs in the microwave?

What am I, the wiener connoisseur? I don’t fucking know, ask Gaz.

[sgtkgazgarrick]

I mean 😏

You’re married to Ghost aren’t you?

[ltsghostriley]

More of a bratwurst kind of man.

[akariot]

…

You both need your phone privileges taken away immediately.

[ltsghostriley]

On my laptop actually.

[sgtembers]

Y'all are terrible. But the hotdogs are my fault. Forgot I left them there...

I got hungry last night :)

[akariot]

The kitchen is on fire.

[sgtembers]

Uh. . . And that's my fault how? I definitely didn't use the microwave today.

[akariot]

why is there just a pack of hotdogs in the microwave?

What am I, the wiener connoisseur? I don’t fucking know, ask Gaz.

[sgtkgazgarrick]

I mean 😏

You’re married to Ghost aren’t you?

[ltsghostriley]

More of a bratwurst kind of man.

[akariot]

…

You both need your phone privileges taken away immediately.

[ltsghostriley]

On my laptop actually.

[sgtembers]

Y'all are terrible. But the hotdogs are my fault. Forgot I left them there...

I got hungry last night :)

[snakebites-and-ink]

"I want him" not sexually not romantically but a secret third way (squeaky toy)

[sgtembers]

i need to just shake him between my teeth until he's limp, that's all. it's all i need. better than any therapy a girl can get.

[kosmogrl]

daily affirmations

- I will own a house and decorate it just like I've been dreaming of for years

- I WILL OWN A HOUSE

- my house will have the cutest decor ever

- I will have the most peaceful house of all time

- house

[sgtembers]

I fear I am starting to get sick of these barracks.

I JUST WANT A HOUSE

[ltsghostriley]

It was Take Your Kid to Work Day.

[sgtembers]

Why's your son look like you've disappointed him one too many times?

[ltsghostriley]

He gets it from me.

[sgtembers]

Your poor husband :(

[ltsghostriley]

It was Take Your Kid to Work Day.

[sgtembers]

Why's your son look like you've disappointed him one too many times?

[akariot]

This is my public apology post to MY current and future husband, whom I love very dearly and will never divorce.

No, I am not being held at gunpoint.

[ltsghostriley]

He truly isn’t being held at gunpoint.

[sgtembers]

If not gunpoint, then possibly knifepoint.

[ring2002]

every day millions of men around the world are shocked that normal looking guys bag baddies with this one simple trick (being an ok person)

[sgtembers]

He can be a 5 and immediately become a 9 or a 1 depending on his treatment of me.

[prettypuppyguts]

Notice how Gaz absolutely mogs all of them❔ this is because he is a gorgeous angel sent directly from heaven.

[akariot]

It said so in the bible

[sgtembers]

@sgtkgazgarrick Did you ever consider a modeling career before the military? Also, apparently you're mentioned in the bible. Just thought you should know

[sgtkgazgarrick]

Saint Gaz, like the sound of that one 🤔

As for the modeling bit, was too powerful for the public eye. I like staying off the radar.

[sgtembers]

I'm not fucking calling you that 🤡 Everyone here knows you are not a saint.

And if you liked staying off the radar you wouldn't have made a tumblr.

[prettypuppyguts]

Notice how Gaz absolutely mogs all of them❔ this is because he is a gorgeous angel sent directly from heaven.

[akariot]

It said so in the bible

[sgtembers]

@sgtkgazgarrick Did you ever consider a modeling career before the military? Also, apparently you're mentioned in the bible. Just thought you should know

[ltsghostriley]

I'd do you, raw.

… @akariot . This one is all yours love.

[sgtembers]

Oh. Wow. People are definitely brave on here.