hi!

21 MDNI

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hii!! i've been lurking the tags for a while and decided to actually make an account to keep myself accountable,,,looking for 18+ moots!!!

i've been struggling with the since being a preteen,i'm 21, nonbinary, university student.

hw: 78 kgs/171 lbs

cw: idk man

gw: 50 kgs/110 lbs

gw2: 45 kgs/99 lbs

ugw: 42 kgs/92 lbs

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zyns are genuinly the best lax 😭

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how to not become homicidal when i feel like anyone judges my realtionship with my favourite person tutorial

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fighting two regenerating bosses (cleaning my room and trying to lose weight)

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does walking in heels burn more calories bc it feels like it should

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bought such cunty shoes but are they a bitch to walk in

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ngl i forgot restricting again means i cant trust a fart

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talked to my boyfriend and mentioned how im stressed and everytime it gets cold i get the urge to relapse and he responded "and how would that even help you?" which...fair but hey!

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i was genuinly considering getting psychiatrist help again after few years but then my friend said that they think about getting off antidepressants bc they only made them gain shit ton of weight and they dont even feel that much better so now im discouraged again </3

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also tmrw is my first day of my masters and im stressing so hard. weirdly enough recently stress makes me have no appetite at all when it usually turned my stomach into an endless pit so hey win is a win

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i slept from 6 am to 5 pm yesterday and then went to sleep at 11 pm till 7 am and im still tired af

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They fkn termed my ass again :// twice in one month and I haven’t even been reposting spo or anything

😭😭😭😭 whats going on everyone is getting nuked recently... mr john tumblr chill out

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well im back i guess

during that time i went from ana to bed to mia to eating semi normally but it all went crashing down when i got weighted at a doctors appointment soooo thats lovely

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two unstable people had a child and now i binge and purge and google lowest calorie alcohol at any inconvenience

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sorry for not posting, i turned for substance abuse as my go to coping mechanism recently but im still restricting!

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despite all the breakdowns i had this week already i weirdly locked tf in with exercise and restriction

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somehow ed content doesnt trigger me but having a bpd split makes me lock the fuck in. i need to get underweight RIGHT NOW so i get hotter and they get worried