so i feel like i owe a lot of people some sort of explanation.
i’m currently in a very bad place mentally. my depression and anxiety have never been worse— my paranoia is off the charts and my self esteem is at rock bottom. i haven’t been dealing with any of it in the proper ways i should be, simply because i’m afraid of letting people down, but by not dealing with it properly to begin with i’ve been letting people down anyway.
as of right now, i have no motivation to write. i wish i did, honestly i do, but i simply don’t have confidence in my ability to write anymore, and it’s gotten to the point where i verge on a panic attack every time i think about it. it’s not fair to make my thread partners wait for what i would consider to be awful replies, and it’s not fair to keep putting myself through the stress of doing something that upsets me. where i am right now i cannot enjoy writing, or any of my characters the way i want to be able to.
i need to take care of myself. i haven’t been, and i really, really need to. so for the moment, i’ve decided that i’m going to let my characters drop at this coming activity check. they won’t be gone forever, and i don’t want anyone to think it’ll be forever— just for the moment. when i’m ready— when i decide that i’m ready— i’ll bring them back. i hope by the time that happens, i’ll be able to produce writing that not only others can enjoy, but that i can enjoy too.
if for any reason you need to talk to me— be it mod-related issues or simply to chat, you can reach me at my main blog ( @whimsicottier ) or my discord ( shiigures#8261 ). i’ll also still be in the group chat, for those of you there.
i don’t really know how to end this off so... i’ll just finish by saying i love you all, and this group, so very much. i hope you all know that, and that you never forget it. xxx
It paints the scene.
Bright reds, deep blacks, splatters of caution tape yellow.
How does she manage to get herself mixed up in this?
It probably had something to do with the fact that she could never keep her mouth shut. Such is a trait with one as bullheaded as she. A soft groan.
Why couldn’t she just be silent?
Her boots slam themselves into the pavement — one after the other. Legs thrusting forward, heart bursting. The adrenaline is screaming at her along with her head — keep moving!
They’re coming!
She doesn’t bother to look back. She knows she’s being pursued.
Lumiose gang members are a lot more prideful than she gave them credit for. After all, that sassy remark of hers was bound to come back and bite her in the–
She suddenly trips and is hurled into an innocent passerby. The collision startles her and she is unable to maintain her balance, toppling onto the concrete.
The footsteps are nearing, the shouts within earshot.
Keep reading
He doesn’t really know where he’s going-- with not a cent to his name Dark can’t buy a map or a guidebook, and is far too anxious and timid to ask for directions. And even then, what could he say? He can’t ask for directions to a place he doesn’t know he’s going to, and considering who he is, it might simply be for the best if he doesn’t involve any helpful strangers. So he settles for wandering the streets, likely looking like a lost tourist, or a child that had wandered from its parents and couldn’t find its way home.
It feels wrong, to not know where he is or where he’s going. But he supposes that he knew what he was getting into when he set out for Kalos.
Lumiose is a remarkably bright city, but the alleys and narrower streets are still as dim as the ones in Castelia that he’s used to. That’s where he find himself after a while, and he’s about to turn around and head back to the city center when he hears voices and loud footfalls coming towards him. He tenses, expecting an attack, but what he sees makes the blood drain from his face.
It’s the girl. The one Lord N was close to. He remembers her name. Touko.
He’s frozen in place, and she’s not looking where she’s going, which is why she runs into him and throws them both to the ground. Dark doesn’t have time to think before she’s dragging him away, and he might have resisted if he wasn’t still in shock. His mind whirrs with thoughts of Plasma; of N and of Ghetsis, of his brothers and sisters... and of this girl and her friends, the people he had tried to hurt. She must not recognise him, or not have looked properly... there’s no way she would be leading him away if she had, he thinks.
She hides them in an alley, and her pursuers are soon gone, voices distant and almost forgotten. Her apology is cut short when she looks at him, finally really looks at him, and he visibly cringes, prepared for anger, or... or... mostly anger, really. He’s come to expect anger from the people who know what he’s done.
“Please...” he utters, unable to meet her gaze. He folds his arms tightly over his chest and breathes in shakily. “Miss Touko, I do not wish to cause trouble...”
BTS! ▼ - opinion or value of theirs I disagree with ( one opinion for each Boy )
DARK: he does his best not to share his opinions and avoids conflict, even if something goes against his moral compass. i dont think thats something you should ever do, within reason-- stand up for what you believe is right.
JACE: jace very strongly feels that if you see someone in trouble or in need of help, you have an obligation to help them however you can. and while i think thats a very kind thing to be able to do, i dont think you have an obligation-- your first obligation of help should always be to yourself.
VOLKNER: volkner doesnt really work very hard for things; he used to, but nowadays hes more of the belief that effort and hardwork dont mean much because things will just happen however theyre meant to happen anyway. i... kind of sympathise with that i guess? but i dont think you should completely stop putting in effort. but i know that can be hard.
Send a symbol to learn some of the inner-workings of my interpretation of and relationship with my muse:
∇ - opinion or value of theirs I share
▼ - opinion or value of theirs I disagree with
✿ - how I see them physically (favorite fcs or just description)
♥ - my opinion of their romantic/sexual habits
☼ - what I find most interesting about them
■ - my least-favorite thing about them
▶ - one plot I’ve always wanted to do with them
♪ - a song that makes me think about them
♦ - something I do “wrong” on purpose (canon or fanon)
♣ - hardest thing to “get right” about playing them
Everything… everything was terrifying. The way the floors creaked, the way all of those figures looked in their black outfits and their cloths over their mouths that hid their identities. All of their eyes were cold, and cruel, and heartless — with only but a few throwing a sympathetic glance his way. After all, albeit they were adults who’d signed up for this terrible team, he was still but a child — crying and alone and afraid. It was sure to tug on a few of their heartstrings, even if that wasn’t Christoph’s intention.
But beyond a few of their sympathy for him was their fear of others — be it their more cold-hearted peers, or that man in the thick purple jacket that did nothing but strike fear into the hearts of all around him. Everyone cowered at the sight of him, and the loud thud of his cane, his presence commanding and his voice booming with condescension and malice. As soon as Christoph was able to focus in on the sight of him, it was clear he was the boss of things around here — all obeyed him. All feared him. Even that one man with the white hair who had taken him.
Keep reading
There was no hiding the shame and guilt that twisted across Dark’s face, the tightness that locked his jaw in place, as he heard the boy plead for his mother. I would let you go if I could, he wanted to say, but he knew it would be pointless no matter how true it was. The words would fall on deaf ears, and really he couldn’t be mad about that. Dark would likely feel the same way if he was in the boy’s position-- but he wasn’t in the same position. He knew fully well just how complicated the situation was.
A part of him wished he didn’t know. Wished he could just get up and throw his conscience to the wayside, continue with the job and be done with it. It was what was expected of him, after all.
No, he couldn’t do that. It didn’t matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise-- he wouldn’t do that.
“... I cannot do that. I am sorry,” he said slowly. His eyes flicked back to the grunts, checking that they were still occupied, and then he lowered his voice. “You have done nothing wrong. The... people that I work for, they wish to hold the attention of the media. You are... prevalent in the media.” Despite being so young. It broke his heart even more. He pursed his lips and swallowed down the lump in his throat.
He could get through this. The boy could get through this. It was only a couple of days, until their capture had garnered enough attention, and--
But it occurred to Dark then, that he hadn’t considered what might happen if their little stunt didn’t get the attention Zinzolin desired. Were they supposed to hold him for as long as it took? Would they release him and call the mission a failure?
The sinking feeling in his stomach told him otherwise.
“I will not let any harm come to you,” he said after a while, voice firm. “I understand if you choose not to believe me, but... this is what I swear.” Dark bowed his head, almost in lieu of falling to his knees in front of the boy to show the depth of his oath.
[❀] :: ❛ Oh, not at all! It’s the least I can do, really, ❜ Élise assures. With a twirl, she faces the direction Dark pointed to. She hums thoughtfully and crosses her arms as she inspects the path. Like most of the Laverre Trail, it’s dark and foggy and just a little soggy. Unfortunately for Élise, it is still a bit unfamiliar. ❛ Do you happen to know where this path goes, Rouge? ❜
Keep reading
Dark stepped forward cautiously as his companion simply danced to the edge of the clearing and into the trees, much as she had entered not minutes ago. It was... slightly disconcerting that someone as young as her looked so at ease in a place like this, but he did his best not to pay it too much thought-- after all, he knew next to nothing about her other than her name. Perhaps this was normal for her, or even normal for the region.
He quickly followed Élise and Rouge through the trees, dodging branches and foliage with practiced movements he was admittedly more used to performing at higher speeds. It was a constant surprise to him, what exactly brought back memories of the life he’d left behind only a few weeks beforehand. The Shadow kept his eyes on the back of Élise’s head, unconsciously noting the small leaves and twigs that caught in her hair and poked at her sides as she walked. What caught his attention the most was how little it appeared to bother her. She definitely must have done this before, he thought.
The young girl called to him as they progressed through the trees, and Dark slowly stopped by her shoulder; red eyes scanned the mess of leaf litter and deep scratch marks further down the path, assessing and calculating. He stepped out from beside her to get a closer look.
“Something happened,” he said aloud as he knelt to inspect the parallel slashes going through the nearest tree. The tree that had been knocked over onto the path had small clusters of white fur trapped between the pieces of bark, as if a creature had been pressed up against it. “Something... not good...”
Again his eyes roamed the area, silently putting the pieces together. His backpack rattled noticeably as he stood, and although his hand reached back to hold it steady Dark didn’t pay it much more thought-- he had other, bigger concerns right then, so it would simply have to wait a moment.
> an npc in my muse’s life ( no longer accepting )
Shadow Triad #1 & #3
(( so there aren’t actually a lot of npc’s in dark’s story; of the three i’ve talked about so far, i actually made one up specifically for this meme. so instead i thought i could talk about my own interpretations of the other members of the triad! i’ve put it under a read more since i’m technically talking about canon characters. ))
His mother died not long after his birth; he cannot remember her, and carries an old photograph of her at all times.
His father, a wealthy businessman, resented him for the death of his wife, and neglected his son. Eventually this neglect led to various forms of abuse.
Ghetsis found him at the age of six, and offered to take him to his home in Unova.
He was twelve when Ghetsis brought Liam back to the castle. He was by his bedside almost constantly while he recovered.
Emotionally stunted; distrusting of almost anyone that isn’t Ghetsis. He finds it difficult to interact with people on a social level, and mostly keeps to himself unless contact with others is absolutely necessary.
He sees N as a traitor, and still has not forgiven him for abandoning Plasma.
Kuro did not willingly leave Plasma; Ghetsis had ordered the Triad not to look for him, and his brothers had decided to leave (abandoned him, in his eyes), there was simply no reason for him to remain in Icirrus City.
He currently wanders Kanto, though he was in Alola for a short time.
Born into a large and extremely impoverished family. He was the second oldest of seven children.
A bright child, he understood from a young age that his family were unable to properly provide for him because of its size.
He was nine years old when he left home– a choice he made of his own accord. He believed his siblings would be better taken care of if his parents didn’t have to worry about him.
Ghetsis found him at age ten, and asked him if he would like to return to his home in Unova with him. He was immediately suspicious of the man, but decided to use him as a means of survival as long as he needed to.
He regularly acts as the voice of reason when Kuro and Dark butt heads, which is surprisingly often.
After Ghetsis goes back into hiding and Dark disappears, he tries to convince Kuro that they should leave too, now that there is no reason for them to stay. He is unable to convince him, and reluctantly leaves by himself.
While he is thankful that he met Ghetsis when he did, he feels no sense of obligation to the man, unlike his adopted brothers. If anything he would say that he has “paid his dues” to Ghetsis by being a part of Plasma for as long as he did.
The way to his heart is through his stomach. Coming from such an impoverished background where he regularly spent days going hungry, he tends to eat quite ravenously.
> an npc in my muse’s life ( no longer accepting )
Amelia Curtis
Age: 43Gender: Cis femaleStar Sign: AquariusHometown: Nacrene City, UnovaResidence: Opelucid City, UnovaOccupation: HousewifeHair: BrownEyes: BrownHeight: 5′10Personality: Curt; possessive; weary
Jackson Curtis
Age: 44Gender: Cis maleStar Sign: ScorpioHometown: Nacrene City, UnovaResidence: Opelucid City, UnovaOccupation: Factory workerHair: BlackEyes: NavyHeight: 6′1Personality: Aggressive; demanding; hot-headed
Liam’s parents. High school sweethearts, they met in their late teens and have been together ever since.
They share a love for travel and adventure; when Amelia graduated from high school at eighteen, she and nineteen-year-old Jackson took the next year to travel around the region. They eventually settled in Opelucid City for a time, but never planned to stay there permanently.
Their plan was to marry and then continue on their travels, this time to Kanto; however an unexpected pregnancy put a halt to those plans. Amelia and Jackson were both adamant they could raise a child on the road, but pressure from their families to “settle down for their child’s sake” kept them in the city.
The relationship only deteriorated in the following months and years; they came to resent their young son as the reason that their lives had taken such a downward spiral.
Amelia was verbally abusive to her son, calling him a waste of space and accusing him of never being obedient or pulling his weight around the house; Jackson was physically abusive and alcoholic, often shouting obscenities and hitting his son across the face for no reason other than he felt like it.
> an npc in my muse’s life ( no longer accepting )
Kazuma Fujimoto
Alias: K, KeiAge: 25Gender: Cis maleStar Sign: LibraHometown: Ecruteak City, JohtoResidence: Violet City, JohtoOccupation: (Ex) Plasma Grunt, Pokémon TrainerHair: Blue-BlackEyes: GreyHeight: 5′11Personality: Curious; compassionate; ambivalent
Like many others, he fell for Ghetsis’s propaganda and came to Unova in order to join Team Plasma.
Often went on missions with Dark / the Shadow Triad. He showed an interest in Dark and attempted to make conversation with him on numerous occasions. He hoped to be able to befriend Dark and learn more about him, as he was concerned by how isolated Dark kept himself from others.
He never did manage to befriend Dark, who kept everyone at arm’s length at the time, and wasn’t used to people trying to be his friend. Kazuma never pushed him.
Fled back to Johto after the first collapse of Team Plasma. He currently lives quietly in Violet City, and hasn’t been out of the region since.
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