thoughts about ilia in ch6 & the future:
he really is mostly okay. the olympics were tough and he's done a lot to distract himself instead of having to dissect that properly, but he also learned a lot from that experience and is coming out on the other side better equipped to deal with that kind of pressure. it's just that the concept of wtt brought the mess of feelings from milano back to the surface, which i think is actually normal and might not be a bad thing. he's learned a lot and is becoming a better person and athlete through it. though he is struggling sometimes and needs a little help, but everyone does, that's just a part of life. he does not have a sports psychologist because he thinks he can deal with it himself, and it's not going too badly right now, because he really is mostly okay. (the fact that this will change in a few chapters is unrelated, but he does get one eventually, though for different reasons)
what this entire arc in chapter 6 is for the most part me setting up ilia's programs for the 2027/28 season. i have thought about the music choices a lot, and i'm very proud of what i decided on, because i think it's very fitting and describes the journey he's on. i will be spoiling the programs that only are 'released' in chapter 8, so if you don't want to know that yet i advise you to not read the rest of this ;)
his short program will be to the 30th by billie eilish, mostly chosen because it's kind of beautiful foreshadowing, but also because it very nicely reflects his experience at the olympics. it starts of pretty soft then builds up dramatically, and will end on "you're alive, you're alive, you're alive" because that really is the essence of it. no matter what happened, he came out on the other side and he is alive & well.
the free skate is going to be to mr/mme by loïc nottet (one of my personal favourites, i recommend listening to it & looking up the translation because it's such a painfully beautiful song) and it's something i feel fits his situation perfectly. it's basically about the pain of living in this world we live in, about feeling like you're left out and don't really fit in, and there's a part along the lines of "success makes lonely, little life, little friends, no exits" and needing someone to hold your hand and help you, and i feel like that very perfectly describes the situation he's in. and ilia deals best with his emotions when he can express them artistically on the ice, so this will be how he properly heals from everything he's been through the last few years, and he'll come back stronger from it. (he might come back after that season a little later and different than usual buuuuut no matter) [the fact that he'll be skating in all white for that program including skates is just a bonus but it is something i really do need to happen irl]
so yeah, he's on a journey and he is going through it, but he is getting better, and this story will have a happy end don't worry :) it's still life so it's going to be a little tricky and dramatic at times but they both will be so happy eventually
