You hav literally no idea how much I relate.
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Peter Solarz
Xuebing Du

titsay

ellievsbear
Cosimo Galluzzi
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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oozey mess
sheepfilms
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❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
YOU ARE THE REASON
d e v o n

Andulka
Sade Olutola
Misplaced Lens Cap
Not today Justin
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seen from Türkiye
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@shadowstrike-mp3
You hav literally no idea how much I relate.
We all remember the Akinator game, right? The one that guesses anything you’re thinking of just by asking questions.
Yeah.
I broke it.
A while ago, I made up my own animal. Completely fictional. Body of a deer. Turtle flippers instead of legs.
It doesn’t swim. It floats. No wings.
Anyway—Akinator asks: “Does it fly?”
I say yes.
Then: “Does it have wings?”
I say no.
The game froze for ten minutes and then kicked me back to the home screen.
I didn’t beat Akinator.
I broke it.
Piece of advice one of my friends gave to another:
“If he don’t love you anymore, walk your fine gyatt out the door.”
My cousin has autism. Her mom comes over to my house to work out with my step-mom, and she tags along.
Her (opening my door): “Alright, I’m going downstairs. Call me if you need anything.”
A second goes by.
Her: “Wait—no—don’t call me. Let me know if you need anything.”
Then she just shuts the door.
Me: wtf????
I’m in my own house, bro. She doesn’t even live here.
Dying.
I take a Spanish class and I only use it outside of school to mess with my mom.
I asked her, “Donde está nosotros comemos?”(Where are we eating?)
She had no idea what I just said. And her face told me that.
Which is exactly what I was going for.
I was driving to school yesterday and there was this truck behind me. The lanes open up to a stop light and he gets in the lane next to me.
While sitting at the red light, he looks over at me with the angriest judgmental expression I have ever seen.
I smiled back at him. Spread a little kindness on that beautiful Tuesday morning. He shook his head and looked away.
As soon as the light turned green, he sped up and got in the lane in front of me. The same lane he was in before.
Buddy. I’m not the only speed-limit driver on the road. I promise you. Build some patience.
Anyways, he did not like me. I take a lot of pride in knowing when I make people mad.
I love this show🤣 Malcom in the Middle if anyone wants to watch it. I watch it on Hulu.
Got my vertical industrial piercing today. It hurt. A lot. Like a flipping female dog. Lord have mercy.
Didn’t even think about what it looks like.
I now have a stripper pole in my ear.
I have no regrets.
Except the accidental 25% tip on $73.
That hurt almost just as bad.
Woke up this morning and was not expecting this text.
“HE IS RISEN!”
Nearly had a heart attack. Until I realized it was Easter
Amen, Miya, but dang, did not have to scare me like that.
Literally put the fear of the Lord in me.
Anyways, Happy Easter everyone!
*Step-dad just now as we were passing a farm with sheep*
Him: “baa!”
Him: “I feel like their birds—calling them a flock of sheep.”
Him: “it should be ‘shoop’ for one sheep and ‘sheep’ for plural… or ‘shep’.”
Me and my mother: *laughing*
My little sister (10ish) and I were on the trampoline while it was raining.
Her: “Why is the sun crying?”
All of a sudden, it stops.
Her: “who made it stop? … So I can 👹 k*ll them”
I love rain as much as the next person but… I’m just here to bounce. Not witness a villain origin story. The forecast did not warn me for this.
Actual conversation between my mom and step-dad.
Her: “what are we doing for Mother’s Day?”
Him: “well, we only have one mother left, so I guess we better do something with her.”
Her: “well that was rather depressing…. Wait. What about me?”
Him: “you’re my wife-“
*mom wraps an arm around my shoulder*
Him: “-that’s for her to do something! Not me!”
How do I always come in between their debates? Literally. I’m always the tie breaker or “judge”. At this point, I’m should really start charging court fees.
I swear, my sister is a different creature. Actual conversation we just had. Out of nowhere.
Her: “hey, (my name)! Do you think Mark [our bald pastor] moisturizes his bald head?”
Me: *laughs*
Her: “…or Bubub?!” [our grandfather]
Me: “idk, but you should definitely ask him.”
Her: *in slightly creepy voice* “oh, don’t worry. I definitely will.”
I genuinely have no idea how this came up. She just randomly called this across our room at me. I don’t want to know why she was thinking about this. Little scared tbh.
My first time driving through a drive-thru was unforgettable. I ran over the curb turning into the parking lot of the Jack’s. My mom didn’t like that, but we were in her big truck, so it didn’t even matter. Then, when I got to the intercom, of course this lady had to hit me up with the ‘Bippity Boppity Boo. What can I get for you?’. Died. Absolutely died. Next, I proceed to go too fast and completely missed the window. Had to throw that thing in reverse — thank goodness no one was behind me. They might have lost a headlight, I didn’t even check for that factor. It was both a physical and mental roller coaster. 10/10 would not recommend.
Tell me WHY this was the practice test question for my permit test??? Like wtaf
I was riding in my brother’s car and we passed this girl and she gave me the weirdest look oh my gosh — maybe it had something to do with the stick-on mustache and eyebrows?? We may never know🤷♀️