deeply darkly dreaming

| winnie | she/her | oct. ‘98 |

[shadowynn]

| main masterlist |

ateez ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆. ───

in love and lore

pairing: ot8 ateez x fem!reader

genre: fantasy!daemon!soulmate!au

warnings: cursing, violence, death, slight overarching yandere themes

summary: the daemon king and his seven black generals. names and faces of these eight have changed over the years as each new king is crowned, but their reputation as the most powerful daemons always remained the same. upon hearing the rumors one of the seven led the charge of the nearby battle, you should have stayed close to the encampment. you should have never wandered out on your own. but you did, and your life would never be the same again. good or bad, you would just have to wait to find out.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

the paradigm complex

pairing: ot8 ateez x fem! reader

genre: yandere!vampire!cult!poly!ateez au

warnings: yandere behavior, cursing, toxic relationships, violence, death, blood

summary:

They’ll do whatever you ask. Anything you need. Anything you want. It’s yours. They’ll fulfill your every desire and whim. Give you the life you had always dreamed about.

And in exchange, you wouldn’t just give them your soul. Oh, no. They weren’t demons. What good was your soul when your purpose was better served alive and well? Your soul was nice, sure, but it wasn’t all they wanted. It wasn’t all they needed. They needed your body, your mind. Your blood. You entirely. Every single fiber of your being was essential and would soon be theirs and theirs alone.

The moment you signed that contract, everything would change. For them and for you.

You just didn’t know it yet.

And there was nothing you could do about it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

hunter x hunter

♥♡♠♤♣♧♦♢

death's sweet kiss

pairing: hisoka morrow x fem! reader x chrollo lucilfer

genre: soulmate au

warnings: some cursing, violence, death, slight yandere themes

summary:

hisoka had never been interested in love and you were just another object to be used for his own personal gain. he never planned to get attached, but it's not long before he finds himself in deeper than he ever planned to be.

No one had ever treated him the way you did, and he often fought the urge to keep you locked up and far away from the rest of the world, where he could keep you all to himself.

despite his outward demeanor, chollo has always longed to be loved, and yet, no matter how long he searches, you always remained just out of reach. and then, just when he's given up, you come tumbling into his life in a whirlwind he had never expected.

It’s no wonder Hisoka is so enraptured by you. You’re so terribly pure, it feels as though it’s a sin to think I could ever have you.

♥♡♠♤♣♧♦♢

*images are not mine

[mint-yooxgi]

Tagged by the lovely @kwanisms so thank you for this!!

rules 🎶 :: when you get this, list 5 songs you’ve been listening to & tag people

Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) - Kate Bush

Meant To Be Yours - Heathers

Charmer - Stray Kids

Renegade - Styx

Earned It - The Weeknd

I tag @synthetickitsune @thetypingpup @shadowynn @honeyhotteoks @vixiethepixie @neoteezrenyoung as well as anyone else who'd like to do this!!

[shadowynn]

so, i'm a little late to this, but i still wanna tag some of the songs that have been plaguing my life these past few days! thank you for tagging me, jackie!!

plastika - joker out

need a break - jann

macarena - blitzers

bouncy - ateez

burning daylight - mia nicolai and dion cooper

i'm gonna tag @justhere4kpop and @hwaightme if either of you guys are interested or anyone else that would like to join too!

[shadowynn]

okay so like i haven’t been able to read ateez stuff in a hot minute bc i’ve been burnt out but coming back to two ilal chapters & a new chapter of tpc made me so happy 😭😭

aweee, i'm glad you enjoyed them! hope you've been doing well and remember to take care of yourself!! <33

[shadowynn]

i love ilal so much it’s not even funny 😭😭 chapter 11 just fed my yunho loving heart sm <33333

awweeee, thanks! i'm so glad you love it!! honestly, chapter 11 has refueled my love for the series as well. like, i always enjoyed it, but i haven't been this excited and happy to write for it in a while. <33

[shadowynn]

Everything okay? You haven’t been on in a bit?

hi!! yes, everything is pretty okay here now, thanks for checking up on me!! life just got a little crazy here the past few days and i sort of took an unexpected hiatus for a minute. hopefully, i'll be back to posting and writing here soon! <33

[shadowynn]

I’d like to added to the tag list for paradigm complex I just started reading it the other day and noticed it hasn’t been updated in 20 days so I wanna be ready when it comes out. Thank you💙

hi!! i'm so glad you like the story, i can definitely add you to the taglist! as for when the next chapter will be out, not really sure. took a sort of unexpected hiatus, but hopefully will be up to writing here soon again! :)

[shadowynn]

Just finished rereading chapter 11 cause it was SO FRIGGIN CUTE AND PERFECT🥺🥺 Yunho sweet boy wbk

Also jealous San is an adorable sight to be honest, him listening to Yunho describe his kiss with mc reminds me of a scene in Hannibal.

Anyways, I also wanted to ask something regarding the latest chapter and it's how would Hongjoong react to finding out about the kiss??

I mean, he is the daemon King and she is to be his queen, so in my eyes mc would be his mate first and foremost, and then the other guys' mate, and though I don't regret it being with Yunho (NOT.ONE.BIT) I can't help but wonder.

awwwww, thank you!! i'm so glad you enjoyed it! i had so much fun writing yunho's part and it was really nice to get to write some fluff finally.

and yes!! i had the exact same thought in my head when writing it! will going to tell hannibal about his kiss was one of my favorite scenes in the tv show and it was definitely on my mind when writing this part.

and, oooooo, good question. tbh, when i was writing this chapter i realized that mc and hongjoong definitely are in need of another talk, and it'll probably definitely happen here very soon due to events that will be happening most likely in the next chapter or so. as for his reaction, like, yeah, he's probably going to be the most upset about hearing the news. though i haven't gone too far in depth with their relationship yet, hongjoong definitely is struggling with how mc has been reacting because he blames himself a lot. if he hadn't done this than maybe mc wouldn't feel this way, etc... i don't want to give too much away, so let's just say hongjoong's beginning to struggle with his own insecurities and regrets which will all be dived into at some point in the coming future!

[shadowynn]

hiii :)) can i be added to the Paradigm Complex's tag list??

of course!! i will definitely tag you! <33

[shadowynn]

i can't even begin to verbalize how obsessed i am with tpc!yeosang but gods do i need more of him

don't worry, i may or may not have plenty more in store with him. ;)

[shadowynn]

Hi!! I just discovered your page and began reading your series ilal. But it’s so good!! I love how you write (y/n) and the boys sm!! You go into a lot more depth and detail than many other authors and I’ve really enjoyed reading your work!

I’m new to Ateez but have really liked the group and your work was a really pleasant find for a new fan! Much love <3<3<3

thank you so much!! it's a little crazy to me because i discovered ateez thanks to some random fics popping up on my tumblr a while back and though i didn't know the group, i loved the stories. eventually, i caved and started listening to them and the rest was history. i'm so happy to be a part of this lovely community here and am also very glad to have you here with us too!

[shadowynn]

just wanted to say i LOVE LOVE LOVE the paradigm complex! i love the movie you said it was loosely based on (1br) and the concept is amazing. plus you write so beautifully!

ahhhhh, thank you!!! i'm so glad you like it as it's been so much fun to write! <33 i watched that movie randomly several years ago and vaguely thought that i would love to do something with the concept after watching it. it sort of stayed at the back of my mind until i came up with a random thought a few months ago when i was wanting to come up with a darker ateez fic and it sort of took a life of its own.

[shadowynn]

Thank you so much for all the work you've done on In Love & Lore !!! May I please be added to the tag list?

ahhhh, thank you so much!! i've enjoyed reading your comments on it so far! i can definitely add you to the list! <33

[nebulousbrainsoup]

another tag game??? yes pls :)))

15 questions, 15 people!

tagged by: @monmonsu tysm my dear <333

1. are you named after anyone? - ... technically, yes. i did name myself; i plead the fifth on who lmao

2. when was the last time you cried?  - a couple days ago

3. do you have kids? - i have fraternity children that call me parent/grandparent/great-grandparent (i've been around a while)

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? - with select people who take to it well, yes.

5. what sports do you play/have you played? - nothing right now, but i've done a little bit of everything. soccer, softball, cross-country; my favorites were marching band/color guard and martial arts. i was in the best shape of my life

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people? - how they carry themselves.

7. what’s your eye colour?  - hazel!

8. scary movies or happy endings? - depends on the day. i'm a fiend for a good horror movie tho

9. any special talents? - i sing; used to sing opera but i do not have the pipes anymore

10. where were you born? - middle of nowhere, usa

11. what are your hobbies?  - writing, gaming, knitting, reading

12. do you have pets? - i have three pups :)

13. how tall are you? - 5'5" or 165ish cm? (idk if that's right, google told me)

14. favourite subject in school? - music history, currently. in high school i think it was english

15. dream job? - i dunno. software dev for a spotify-esque company or music production/sound mixing stuff, maybe? i also talked to a guy about tuning sound mixing equipment once and that sounds fun

no pressure tagging: @loving-strawberry @justhere4kpop @jaehunnyy @yunbug @cloudy-cranium @thatonenoona @pyeonghongrie-main & anyone else who wants to bc i don't talk to that many people on here?

[yuncheoligans-archive]

Tagged by: @nebulousbrainsoup (💕🩷💖❤️)

1. Are you named after anyone?

Ummmmm I don't know. I think I'm named after my mom's Russian dance teacher....but I also got kinda stuck with my name because my parents had a theme going.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Probably like 10 minutes ago. I got a big scary bill I have to call about and I saw a bug on my bed.

3. Do you have kids?

No.....I have fur babies! Personally one dog and one cat but my parents have 3 more dogs and another cat and my best friends cat thinks Im his owner who lives for a really long time all the time.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Im very fluent in sarcasm. I think its like an hourly thing.

5. What sports do/have you played?

In highschool I was on Varsity Soccer and Volleyball bur I haven't played since I was a sophomore. I did some like recreational stuff in college just because its my favorite thing.

6. First thing you notice about people?

Eye contact. I'm a big user of eye contact if Im talking to someone so I notice that stuff first I guess.

7. What's your eye color?

Brown/Hazel!!! They look so nice in sunlight.

8. Scary movies or Happy endings?

Ummmm definitely a both kind person. I love a good scary movie but I also just like to watch a good movie.

9. Any Special Talents?

Idk if its a talent or special but I can have an ok conversation in Japanese. Im self teaching Korean so thats rough but its...ok. I play the piano, viola, and can keep an okay beat on drums. I know all the words to Fergalicious by Fergie. I know a lot about backstage theater and can hang a mean light fixture. Maybe more???? Again not necessarily special.

10. Where were you born?

Literally nowhere, USA.......Great State of Misery.

11. What are you hobbies?

I don't feel like I have a lot but I love writing, gaming, baking/cooking....

12. Do you have pets?

See kids answer.....

13. How tall are you?

5'11" or about 180cm???

14. Favorite subject in School?

When I was in school I'd say Geography, Music(Choir and Orchestra), Japanese, World Religions, and probably English at some point.

15. Dream Job?

I really want to tour with any group I like kpop or not. Right now the dream dream is Ateez. But I want to be part of the touring management team and everything like that. I have a degree in Music Business/Live and Performing Arts Management so I really REALLY want to do something with that.....I want to see the world and have fun doing it and doing what I love.

Tagging but you don't have to!

@hanniiesuckle17, @byuntrash101, @starillusion13, @hwaightme, @shadowynn...... idk if I know 15 people???? If you want to do it go right ahead!!! It's fun!

[shadowynn]

@justhere4kpop thank you for tagging me!! <33

1. Are you named after anyone?

kind of, not really, but yes??? my mom saw my names in the credit of a movie or tv show (couldn't tell you which one though) and really liked the name. so, not really, i guess.

2. When was the last time you cried?

ummm, friday night i think, but for a really silly reason. things just got really intense there for a minute when i was playing the outlast trials with my brother and i started crying when i thought we were going to have to redo the last trial in program x but my brother swooped in and saved both of us and then i cried again because i was so relieved. oops.

3. Do you have kids?

nope. someday though, i hope to.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

i didn't really think i was that sarcastic growing up, but i've come to learn i use it a lot.

5. What sports do/have you played?

i did gymnastics for about ten years, with half of those me actively competing in the sport. i quit when i was about 13 to do sports at school and because i was just burned out from gymnastics. after that, i did basketball and track for about 7 years and then volleyball for 4. out of all of those, though, i only really look back fondly and miss volleyball.

6. First thing you notice about people?

probably someone's smile??? but like, i really don't know. i'm super shy, so eye contact is a big no for me and i tend to avoid looking at people if i don't know them.

7. What's your eye color?

blue! i also have anisocoria, so my pupils are different sizes. i hated it as a kid, but now i absolutely love it!

8. Scary movies or Happy endings?

i really don't think i can choose. i'm such a sucker for a happy ending that it's become a running joke in my family that it has to have a happy ending for me to watch it and my mom will actively let me know if it has a happy ending when she's recommending things to me. (which has been a lot of k-dramas lately thanks to my father getting her to watch alchemy of souls a few months back) but, like, i also am such a huge horror movie fan and would probably chose a good horror movie over a happy ending movie in the end.

9. Any Special Talents?

uhhhh, not really. i'm one of those people who's just sort of mediocre at everything, so nothing really sticks out. like, i'm pretty decent at a lot of things, but none of them stick out as, yes, this is what i'm good at.

10. Where were you born?

somewhere technically in the midwest, but close enough to the south that i think it identifies with that part of the states a lot more.

11. What are you hobbies?

on most days you can catch me playing video games or writing as those are my two biggest hobbies, but i also enjoy singing, baking, and painting.

12. Do you have pets?

i have an adorable, but incredibly stubborn husky named hakoda and will be getting a cat here in a few months! (i will also claim my parents' cats momo and appa because they had both before i moved out and i did sort of name both of them.)

13. How tall are you?

5'9"

14. Favorite subject in School?

i know this is weird, but i really do love math, specifically calculus. like, i was always good at math, but calculus was my jam and the one subject that really ignited my love for math.

15. Dream Job?

i'm not too sure, actually. i have a bachelors in aerospace engineering, but i hate engineering and wish i could go back and have chosen something else. if i could do anything though, i think i would love to have the dedication to write consistently and well enough to be a published author or create my own video games.

~

also, i don't really have anyone to tag for this, so if you made it this far and want to do it too, please do! and make sure to tag me in it so i can read your answers! :)

[shadowynn]

When is the TPC coming out I know its a lot to ask but its just so good your writing is just like a professional writer straight up from a best selling novel

hi!! so, i'm not really sure when the next chapter will be out, but it'll probably be a little bit. even though i'm totally psyched about many of my works and want to write more, i've been struggling with some writer's block and haven't quite been able to get anything out. so, i'm taking a few days to relax, play some games, and just sort of take some pressure off myself and let the works come when they come. and when they do, i honestly can't tell you which one i'll be working on next. could be tpc, could be ilal, and could be on my new work. not quite sure yet.

also, this is something i've meant to talk about here at some point, and just keep forgetting/procrastinating, but i think this is a good place to put it. i know there's been some stuff going around, and though i cannot speak for other writers, i just wanted to let you all know i am okay with you and others asking me when updates are, etc. while these sort of asks and questions used to bother me a lot, i'm pretty much okay with them nowadays. i'm sometimes bad at communicating, so it usually just gives me time to update you and everyone else on what's going on. with that being said though, please do not flood my inbox. if you haven't seen an update in a while and you're curious, feel free to ask what's going on, i usually don't mind. :)

[shadowynn]

hey there, im sam, nice to meet you!

im a recent follower and started reading ilal around last month i think? i guess i got here when you had just released chapter 8. im such a big fan of this fic, you have no idea! its probably one of my favorites in all ateez tumblr rn. i wasnt a fan of fanfics that have chapters (ive read one-shots for the longest time) but this preference has started to change recently and ilal has a major role in it. the story and universe is amazing, im truly amazed!

and i love how you write y/n, i see myself A LOT in her. major intimacy and vulnerability fear gang here :)) i swear that some of her thoughts have been literally the same as mine's and thats so endearing and self indulgent to me. i also love her relationship with her sibilings! then being so close is such a heartfelt element in the story for me, as a person whos rlly attached to my sibilings too. and im not even gonna start talking ab the members or else ill write a full thesis about every. single. one. of. them. and. how. they. treat. and. treasure. y/n. so. fucking. much. even though ther relationship has problems.

just wanted to say hi, present myself and say that ill probably be a frequent in your asks specially to talk ab ilal. you're a wonderful writer! thank you so so much for sharing your talent with us! :)

ps. (1): a special thanks for using hongjoong's cruella hair in ilal. as a joong biased who was obssessed w cruella in teenage and loves his hair like that ive never been hapPIER

ps. (2): just saw this reel right b4 sending this ask and althought i imagine their clothing to not be so fancy during the trip (is is the correct word? struggles in non native english speaker) to taeyang, but this is chapter 11 yunho to me. i dont make the rules.

hi!! it's so nice to meet you too!

i'm so glad you enjoy ilal! it's been an absolute pleasure to write, and i enjoy nothing more than getting to share it with all of you! and wow, i'm so glad you gave ilal a chance! that really means a lot! i've always been more of a chapter person myself, but i completely understand why one-shots can be preferable because then you don't have to wait weeks/months to get more. i've wanted/thought about writing more one-shots myself, but sadly, i'm not very good with it. an idea gets into my head and then i write way too many words. which is also a problem because i usually struggle with finishing things. my drive is literally full of unfinished works. oops. but don't worry, i have never been more motivated to finish a fic before ilal. like, this one is going to be the one that i finally finish.

i'm so glad you love y/n's characteristics. i'm honestly really bad about using my own personalities and characteristics in characters i write because it's easier. and i think ilal y/n is probably the closest person i've written to myself. i didn't really mean for it to be that way, but oops. i'm glad though that you and others can relate to y/n though, and to know you're not the only one who struggles in areas like those. (like literally, i've been with my partner for almost three years now and i still struggle with being vulnerable around them.)

i don't usually write characters with siblings in my works, which i don't really know why because i also am lucky to have a very close relationship with my siblings, but it has been very fun to write!

i'm so glad you dropped by! i literally love chatting with all you lovely people, so always feel free to send an ask or a dm my way! i may be a bit slow to reply at times, but i will always try my best to reply!

(and cruella hongjoong is my favorite joong, so i couldn't not. and i won't lie, i have to restrain myself from using him for every one of my writings. oops.)

(ahh, this actually made me laugh. and, yes, while it would not technically be canon clothes wise, please feel free to imagine things however you want in your head. because, let's be honest, i think everyone wants this version of yunho.)

[shadowynn]

this recent chapter had me wanting to reread the entire story and allll of their interactions. I loved her entire interactions with yh. Just the way they het along with each other is amazing. I can’t put to words how much I enjoy ilal and i think I tell you that every update. Thank you sooo much!

ahhhh, thank you so much!! this is literally the sweetest!! i appreciate your sweet words and your support!! it's literally people like you who keep up my motivation to continue writing, so thank you! <33

[shadowynn]

Hi love I just found your love and lore story and am absolutely obsessed💕😩 if you are still writing it is it possible for me to be added to the tag list please 🙏🏽

hi!! i'm so glad you enjoy it! i can definitely add you to the list! <33