I'M DANCING ON MY OWN, I MAKE THE MOVES UP AS I GO

[shakeitoffsam]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEST BRO! I put a gift for you in your locker.

DUDE, THANK YOU. THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER. I’m seriously never taking this thing off my wrist. Well, I guess I have to while I’m showering and stuff, but the rest of the time I’m going to be wearing it.

[shakeitoffsam]

↳ INSTAGRAM: @captaintrouty uploaded a photo.

No cake because even birthdays are no excuse to break a diet, but my siblings got me this balloon. I also got a few comics and stuff. #dancingqueenyoungandsweet #onlyseventeen #ohyeahhh

[meerskank]

I’m sure that’s exactly what all those nuclear bombs are made of. 

Of course not. Egging the Skanks took up all your time. 

[shakeitoffsam]

If only, then again, I don’t know how that’d work. Maybe it’d be like a bomb of Amortentia or something.

Hey, I didn’t have anything to do with that. Who wants to waste egg whites that way? 

[themidnightsignal]

You may have seen the posters,

but Santana and yours truly are instating a new anti-bullying protection force. Tensions have been high ever since the incident in the gymnasium, and it’s my goal - and Santana’s, of course - that everybody feel safe walking the halls of McKinley. If you need an escort to class or if you want to report a situation in which you were bullied, shoot me (or Santana) a message, and we promise to handle it better than it’s been handled in the past.

School should be a safe place for everyone, despite our differences. Nobody understands that better than me. Or Santana. We’re here to help.

[shakeitoffsam]

Dude, that’s awesome. McKinley definitely needs something like that.

[thedivaskanks-deactivated201605]

I know my social media hiatus was unfortunate for everyone,

[thedivaskanks-deactivated201605]

I don’t know if I’ll even have to; they’ve been…getting along lately, which seems absurd but they were together for nearly 20 years before this recent bout of trouble. At any rate, Hiram came home with us again and though they’ve been staying in separate rooms, they’re in one house again. They say it’s to keep an eye on me, but they’re not exactly doing that anyways. 

[shakeitoffsam]

That’s awesome, Rachel. It’s like parent trapping them without meaning to. Do you think this’ll mean no moving to Chicago?

[meerskank]

You act as if we were all singing kumbaya before the assembly. Threats make the world go ‘round, Ken. 

[shakeitoffsam]

Love makes the world go ‘round, Sebastian.

And we weren’t all doing that, but at least we weren’t making banners with death threats on them.

[thedivaskanks-deactivated201605]

I know my social media hiatus was unfortunate for everyone,

but even more unfortunate was the undeserving grounding my fathers thought I deserved for ‘sneaking liquor out of the house’. I’ve barely been let out of their sight, and have had to deal with at least three lectures on the importance of my future, and how rebelling may be acceptable so long as I don’t put my ‘inevitable’ career on the line at the same time.  While I was fortunate enough to have Blaine with me for the past few days, and my fathers have been far more amicable than usual lately, all I want is a few hours of peace and quiet now alone while I attempt to figure out what I’ve missed around here - though, I’m sure it’s absolutely nothing. Lima never did have anything exciting. 

[thedivaskanks-deactivated201605]

[shakeitoffsam]

Did you get to parent trap them at least?

[themidnightsignal]

The good news is

[themidnightsignal]

I think I’ve officially gotten out of them, so Daily Broga is a-go.

I feel so limber and it’s only been one day. Coach is going to be impressed, and hopefully won’t re-suggest we try to stuff me in a cannon. 

[shakeitoffsam]

Becky’s loss is my gain then. It’s going to be awesome.

How do you feel now? No regrets? I don’t know, dude. She might still do it. She’s really serious about shooting someone out of that thing.

[shakeitoffsam]

TEXT MESSAGES ✉ SAMTANA.

SANTANA: I'm gonna say this one more time, Quinn got herself knocked up, jumped off the top of the pyramid and bailed, that had nothing to do with me.

SANTANA: You know, I'm done with this conversation. You don't understand, you're not gonna understand, and I don't care to explain anything to you anyway. I have nothing more to say about this.

[marked as read]

[shakeitoffsam]

If you had a choice of meeting Taylor Swift or getting superpowers, which would you choose?

This is totally rude and cruel. I love Taylor, but I mean, superpowers. What if I got them though and they were horrible ones? Like what if I became Squirrel Boy? Not that Doreen Green isn’t super awesome, but there’s definitely a lot of other powers I’d pick before the ones she has and I’m pretty sure meeting Taylor Swift would be the best thing ever. What if I picked both?

[shakeitoffsam]

I WILL ADDRESS THE ISSUES I CANNOT IGNORE → HEVANS

[shakeitoffsam]

TAGGING → Sam Evans, Kurt Hummel.

Time Frame → 5/7, Late Thursday night.

Location → Sam’s room.

General Notes → Sam and Santana’s conversation sparks something in him and he knows he can’t keep ignoring stuff. He needs to talk to Kurt.

KURT HUMMEL:

Most couples experienced a sense of dread at the ‘can we talk’ text, but honestly? This was Sam– he was about as intimidating as a newborn puppy, so the text intrigued Kurt more than anything else. And besides, it’s not like they were in a real relationship, anyway. Not really.

[text] so, is this a late night talk, or a late night ‘talk’?

Kurt sent his reply, but didn’t wait for a response as he grabbed his jean jacket and climbed up the basement stairs into the kitchen. He didn’t bother being quiet about it, so he left a note on the counter (’gone to Sam’s’) before leaving the house and crossing the lawn to the Evans’ home.

The front door was unlocked, but Kurt entered it much more quietly than he’d exited his own, not sure if Sam’s parents were in or out or if his siblings were the same. Normally when Sam sent him a late-night text to come over (actually, nine times out of ten it was Kurt sending the late night ones), it was for one reason only, and he’d mention that he had the house to himself. Kurt shrugged it off though; he was definitely more than up for that, but even getting out of the house for a bit at night would do him some good at this point, regardless of the ‘activity’.

“You know,” Kurt began in a teasing tone, once he’d shut Sam’s bedroom door behind him to see Sam sprawled out on his bed, “if you were just going to sleep, I would have saved myself the trouble and stayed home.” A pause, and then casually, as if it didn’t really matter to him either way, “Your folks home?”

SAM EVANS:

Sam's hand reached out the second his phone started to make a sound. He grabbed it and checked the message. One side of his lips curled up and he shook his head. Then remembering Kurt couldn't actually see him. He responded, not wasting another second.

[text] first one, i think... [text] maybe second after.

He sent the second text a moment later after some hesitation. He was a teenage boy after all and sometimes his hormones could get the best of him. Rubbing a hand over his face, he dropped the cell onto his stomach and stayed sprawled out on his bed. Sam's mind started to drift a little, but it stopped as he heard his door open.

Smiling, the blond tilted his head to look at Kurt. "Hey." His smile turned into a full grown grin as he sat up and shrugged. "Totally not going to pass out so you're in luck." He glanced at his phone and thumbed over it to get the time. "Uh, mom should be, dad's still working. Don't worry." He didn't have a large bed, but he scooted over as best he could and then patted the space next to him. "C'mon." Taking a couple of deep breaths, he set his phone aside and folded his hands across his stomach, only to start twiddling his thumbs.

He knew he didn't really have to be nervous, but the flips his stomach were doing said otherwise. "Okay, so..." Sam started once Kurt was sitting down next to him, glancing at their feet. "You don't think I'm like, using you, right? For like, I don't know, sex, except not sex? Like the other stuff we do?" That's when he turned to face Kurt, biting his lip.

[hotpinkhummel]

What a waste of a weekend.

[hotpinkhummel]

Well, I would have had company while being bored out of my mind, at least.

Let’s not focus on my dull weekend of non-excursions. The most interesting thing that happened was my dad finding Oliver and not throwing a fit over him. At least if I had to put up even a small fight over the whole thing I’d have been entertained for more than 5 minutes.

[shakeitoffsam]

That’s true. I’ll remember that. It would’ve made the marathon a lot better.

The most interesting and the best thing. I’m sure if he had, Stevie and Stacey would’ve thrown one too. They love Oliver. 

[unrulyrose-deactivated20151231]

I guess I can now cross “get stalked out of a 7-Eleven at two in the morning” off of my bucketlist for sophomore year. Went inside to get a gatorade and something to eat, came out with a huge stranger right on my butt. I’m not on the back of any milk cartons though, so the crisis was adverted.

Still really frickin’ weirded out, though. Never again, you guys.

[shakeitoffsam]

I miss 7-Eleven. I never go in there anymore or else I’m tempted to get a Slurpee and a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.

[shakeitoffsam]

I WILL ADDRESS THE ISSUES I CANNOT IGNORE → HEVANS

TAGGING →  Sam Evans, Kurt Hummel.

Time Frame → 5/7, Late Thursday night.

Location → Sam’s room.

General Notes → Sam and Santana's conversation sparks something in him and he knows he can’t keep ignoring stuff. He needs to talk to Kurt.

SAM EVANS:

Sam's conversation with Santana wasn't exactly a wake up call. It was something he'd put on the back burner for a while after finding that letter addressed to his dad. It was something that still weighed on him, but not enough to actually make him do anything to fix it. Taking care of his family was definitely one of the things that came first to Sam. But after he'd held a crying Brittany in his arms while she spilled everything going on between her and Santana, he knew he couldn't put this off, especially after his conversation with the other girl. He had to talk to Kurt. He cared about the boy a lot, but he wasn't sure where they stood on a lot of things. Their relationship was more on the physical side of things lately and with the way things were going on at home for the both of them, he hadn't minded. While they weren't sleeping together, they were doing enough to keep them both distracted about the harder stuff they had to deal with. Because of that, he hadn't looked too closely at things.

Now though, he was worried about the other aspects of their relationship. He was sure what they had couldn't be compared to what was going on between Santana and Brittany, but it was easy for him to find the similarities. Sam wondered how he would've reacted had he sent something like what Brittany sent him to someone that wasn't Kurt. Biting his lip, he texted the boy in question about wanting to see him and talk. It was late, but he knew his conversation with Santana was going to keep him up. And no video game was going to tire him out tonight.

Waiting for the reply and hoping Kurt was even still up, the blond paced in his room. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to say to the other, just that he wanted to see him. Sam wouldn't be able to tell him what was going on, that wasn't his secret to tell, but he could at least talk about them. He wasn't ready to come out of the closet, but he wondered if there would ever really be a right time. Was it selfish to keep this going in the meantime? He knew he'd hurt Kurt by dating girls, it was one of the reasons he stopped. Groaning, he collapsed on his bed and waited to hear the tone of the Power Rangers wrist communicator come from his phone to signal a text from Kurt.

[shakeitoffsam]

TEXT MESSAGES ✉ SAMTANA.

SANTANA: Correction, Guppy Face, Brittany's my best friend. Sure, she may think she can walk away from me right now, but she's gonna realize soon enough that I'm the person around here that cares about her the most, so you can shut that inflatable mouth of yours right now.

SANTANA: I haven't been doing anything to her. I love Brittany, she's my best friend. Whatever crap you're feeding her, you best be stopping.

SAM: If this is how you treat your best friends, it's no wonder you aren't best friends with Quinn anymore. Are you serious right now, Santana?

SAM: I'm not feeding her anything. And if you loved or cared for Brittany at all, I doubt she would've spent most of the night here crying. You pushed her too far and for what?

[shakeitoffsam]

TEXT MESSAGES ✉ SAMTANA.

SANTANA: Since when do you think you can talk to me the way you are doing? Last I checked, I was your captain and you're on /my/ squad.

SAM: Since you hurt one of my best friends. You can treat me however you want, I don't care, but what you've been doing to Brittany is seriously messed up.

[shakeitoffsam]

TEXT MESSAGES ✉ SAMTANA.

SANTANA: I told you, I don't owe you any answers.

SAM: I know, not like I'd believe you anyways.