Shakespeare Troupe of Knaves

Shakespearean Comedy - but not the way your English teacher defined it. R&J, Twelfth Night, Hamlet and other plays. Bencutio.

[shakespearetroupeofknaves]

I would like to say I love your blog and my boo is feeling down so now I’m sending them memes from your blog to lighten their day and it seems to be working so thank you :)

Thank you! I'm glad to hear it! :D

[shakespearetroupeofknaves]

Ghost of Mercutio: I just wanted to prove to Romeo that it is fun and cool to play with sharp objects.

Benvolio: And was it worth it?

Ghost of Mercutio: Well, it WAS pretty fun until I died.

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“I befriended all the skulls in the graveyard and spoke with them for hours. We really bonded over how dead we feel. I’m so socially skilled today.”

- Hamlet

[shakespearetroupeofknaves]

I need a version of “I Just Can’t Wait to Be King” but sung by Macbeth and Lady Macbeth.

Just imagine it for a second...

I mean, The Lion King was based on Hamlet among other things anyway...

[shakespearetroupeofknaves]

“My husband is a mess. He never cleans up anything... dishes, laundry, bloody daggers, etc. I mean, give me a break. Don’t leave stuff lying around.”

- Lady Macbeth

[user0987654321876543]

Horatio: Claudius killed the king, the queen married Claudius, Hamlet stabbed Polonius, Ophelia killed herself, Laertes died but kinda accidentally, Hamlet killed Claudius but definitely on purpose and that’s the prince of Denmark lying dead on the floor

Horatio: got it?

Fortinbras:

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Hamlet: I hate it when the authorities dig into your private business. Every time I carry a bulky bag that's about 6 ft. in length and kind of smells, they have to ask me if there's a body in there and demand that I open it. Like, it's none of your business, officer!

Horatio: Did you have a body in there?

Hamlet: That's none of your business either...

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Mercutio: Wait. What do you mean you're not supposed to have sex under the mistletoe?

Benvolio: You're supposed to kiss someone when you're under the mistletoe and leave it at that.

Mercutio: Well, that's a stupid rule. Who has that sort of self control?

Benvolio: This is why we never go to Christmas parties.

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Horatio: Oh look, a gravedigger.

Hamlet: If I wasn't a prince, I would have liked to be a gravedigger... That would be fun. All day in the graveyard. Digging up skulls all day and talking to them.

Horatio: You already do that all day, my lord.

Hamlet: *soliloquizing to skull* What was that, Horatio?

[shakespearetroupeofknaves]

Okai I just want to say. I found your account because you kept popping up in the 'hamlet x horatio' tag, and then when I read your bio is says 'bencutio'. I swear to the heavens above, let me be your friend, and you shall be mine, for such a person, I have been blessed to come across, and I will be damned if I try not to hang onto such a wonderful creature. -Prince H

(OOC: The world needs more Bencutio and Hamlet X Horatio. Happy you ship them too and thanks for the nice message!)

Mercutio: What the hell is a Bencutio?

Benvolio: It’s a coined name to describe our romantic relationship.

Mercutio: Why’s your name first then?

Benvolio: Because it sounds better that way.

Mercutio: And who are Hamlet and Horatio?

Benvolio: Horatio and I were part of the same support group for people with semi-homicidal, crazed, overly loquacious partners. Hamlet is the semi-homicidal, crazed, overly loquacious partner who denies that he is any of those three things. He says it’s all part of his “public persona” or “antic disposition” or…

Mercutio: Give me this Hamlet’s contact info right now, so we can go out drinking. I need to befriend this man.

[garbagegold]

I’m rereading Hamlet.

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Hamlet: I think I've had a productive week.

Horatio: Oh, really? What did you do?

Hamlet: I killed Polonius. I also sent Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to their deaths. Oh, and I disrupted my ex-girlfriend's funeral and got in a fist fight with her brother.

Horatio: You did all that?!

Hamlet: Yes. Why do you sound so upset that I was productive?

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Hamlet: I tried to start today on a positive note.

Horatio: Today, you woke up in the morning, talked to Yorick's skull in the shower for an hour, walked to the mirror and said to yourself "O that this too, too sullied flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew".

Hamlet: Exactly. Isn't that a lot more positive than what I said in the mirror yesterday?

Horatio: Yes. It's a definite improvement. Good job.

[shakespearetroupeofknaves]

Actually, this is VERY much how my theatre teacher in high school introduced her classes to Shakespeare. :D This is marvelous!

You must have had an awesome theatre teacher! Some teachers take Shakespeare so seriously that it becomes really sterile. Hopefully, more teachers will focus on all the fun stuff the plays naturally have in them. Happy that you’re enjoying the blog and thanks for your message!

[shakespearetroupeofknaves]

Romeo and Juliet Epilogue

Ghost of Mercutio: If not for your stupid libido and hormones, we would still be alive!

Ghost of Romeo: If not for you wanting to taunt and fight everything, we would still be alive!

Ghost of Mercutio: You're asking me not to taunt and fight people, which is exactly what makes me who I am.

Ghost of Romeo: Well, my libido and hormones are exactly what makes me who I am!

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Gnome version is better, do you think that?

(OOC: Thanks for the question! I wasn’t sure whether you meant this for the RP or not, because this is actually the first question I have gotten on this blog. So, as for myself, gnomes are cool but nothing can beat the 1968 R&J and the 2010 French Musical in my own humble opinion. I do approve of the notion of Gnome!Benvolio having a hat that’s twice his size.)

In terms of Bencutio RP:

Benvolio: Gnome version? Of what?

Mercutio: Someone made a version of your cousin’s messed up love life into a gnome soap opera kids’ movie. I saw it. It didn’t really have enough sex for my taste, but it got pretty violent in good ways. Tybalt Gnome got shattered into pieces. That was fun.

Benvolio: Mercutio, did you seriously expect a kids’ movie with animated gnomes to have a sex scene?

Mercutio: Well, I thought that considering that that’s the only thing on your cousin’s mind and it’s based on him, there needed to be one.

Benvolio: Why are you like this?

Mercutio: Benvolio Gnome is a lot shorter than real life you, by the way.

Benvolio: I should hope so… and what were you like as a gnome.

Mercutio: I didn’t get a gnome. I like to think I would be a flower, the very pink of courtesy.

Benvolio: Ugh, why are you like this?!

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Mercutio: I have a question.

Benvolio: It's 2 AM. Go to sleep.

Mercutio: So, if I were to go and rob the Capulet manor right now with a few weapons involved, but I apologized sincerely for it afterwards, would it still count as armed robbery and a crime?

Benvolio: Yes, Mercutio. Sincere apologies don't make it legal.

Mercutio: Oh. So, sincere apologies are useless.

Benvolio: That is not at all what I said.