moon child @shakethatasstrology - Tumblr Blog

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What makes the signs laugh

Aries: when people fall/get hurt

Taurus: dry humor

Gemini: clever & relevant comebacks

Cancer: dumb puns

Leo: relatable jokes/humor

Virgo: anti-jokes

Libra: terrible jokes/dumb humor

Scorpio: self-deprecating humor

Sagittarius: light humor

Capricorn: when people make mistakes/naivety

Aquarius: Bo Burnham

Pisces: sarcasm

The signs as Genres

Thriller with no real story line: Scorpio, Aquarius, Aries

Action with a bunch of unnecessary murders: Capricorn, Taurus, Libra

Romantic comedy with an airport scene at the end: Cancer, Pisces, Leo

Teen romance where someone who is depressed finds love: Sagittarius, Gemini, Virgo

"Make love, not war": Cancer, Libra, Aquarius, Scorpio, Taurus, Pisces,

"Fuck love, lets fight": Aries, Capricorn, Leo, Virgo, Sagittarius, Gemini

Dancing with the Signs

Aries: The good dancer that occasionally dances sexually

Taurus: The ok dancer that dances to all the up beat songs

Gemini: Forever showing their inner stripper only without taking any clothes off (well depends on who they're with)

Cancer: Can't dance, does the "Sprinkler"

Leo: Great dancer! Always with the beat of a song

Virgo: Much like Cancer they're not the greatest but they're better at dancing than Cancer

Libra: The shuffling dancer that doesn't move much then stands next to a punch bowl for the rest of the night

Scorpio: Like Leo they're great dancers and love dancing, will constantly pull you on to the dance floor

Sagittarius: Never dances. Unless they're by themselves.

Capricorn: Will stay by the punch bowl and talk to Libra when they're around

Aquarius: Can't dance. Dancing with Cancer and doing the Robot

Pisces: Good dancers, usually dances with Aries or Scorpio. They're the real party animals

mf-martian

savage or chill?

chill af. never tries to come at you with the drama. : aquarius, sagittarius, pisces

a savage with no chill: cancer, libra, gemini

seems chill but is actually saying savage shit behind ya back: virgo, taurus, scorpio

100 % FUCKING SAVAGE: capricorn, leo, aries

The signs as halsey lyrics

Aries : Goddamn right, you should be scared of me.

Taurus : All we do is think about the feelings that we hide, all we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign. Sick and full of pride.

Gemini : Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me ? Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me ?

Cancer : I found God. I found him in a lover. When his hair falls in his face and his hands so cold they shake

Leo : I'm a wanderess, I'm a one night stand, don't belong to no city, don't belong to no man.

Virgo : You were red and you liked me because I was blue. You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky and you decided purple just wasn't for you

Libra : They think I'm insane, they think my lover is strange but I don't have to fucking tell them anything.

Scorpio : My demons are begging me to open up my mouth. I need them mechanically make the words come out

Sagittarius : Let's cause a little trouble. Oh, you make me feel so weak. I bet you kiss your knuckles, right before they touch my cheek.

Capricorn : I keep a close watch on this heart of mine. I keep my eyes wide open all the time. I keep the ends out for the tie that binds.

Aquarius : I'm off the deep end, sleeping, all night through the weekend. Saying that I love him but I know I'm gonna leave him.

Pisces : We're the underdogs in this world alone, I'm a believer, got a fever running through my bones.

fleuhrent

The Signs as Popular Blondes

Cher Horowitz:

Libra, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Gemini

Elle Woods:

Virgo, Capricorn, Scorpio, Pisces

Regina George:

Leo, Taurus, Aries, Cancer

nightwingandchill-blog-deactiva

When you pass the signs in the street

Is too busy panicking over the state of their lives to notice you:

Gemini, Virgo, Libra, Capricorn

Notices you but gives you the ‘approach me and they’ll never find your body’ look:

Taurus, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius

Notices you and tries to smile but misjudges it and ends up looking like they’re peeing a little:

Aries, Cancer, Leo, Pisces

aesthrolgy

Hey My children, Here are compatibility charts because we don't answer them so just save the picture of your sign's chart PLEASE

Aries:

Taurus:

Gemini:

Cancer:

Leo:

Virgo:

Libra:

Scorpio:

Sagittarius:

Capricorn:

Aquarius:

Pisces:

Quick Handy one for all signs:

(Here is a link to where all except the last screenshots come from)

You are a hero! Direct all compatibility questions to these charts here!

i swear to god my aries roommate is sometimes so needlessly bitchy my sensitive cancer ass can’t understand OR handle it. like wtf.... seriously today i said “wow i really don’t want to do this textbook reading” and she HAS to turn it into a sneaky sassy fight by arguing with me about how it won’t even be bad.. like all i said was i didn’t want to do it??????? why must u make me look bad for no reason? and the other day. she forgot something at the house so she ran back while we waited at the bus stop. she ran back, and i was like “omg i’m so hot” because it was like 30 degrees and she’s like “shut the EFF up i just ran home ok” and i’m like ???? why so extra? why so angry? it’s not MY fault u forgot something. all i said was a harmless comment about my body temperature like cool ur aries ass and CALM DOWN

#im sorry about the rant #i swear i dont hate her #but i cant handle her meanness

Which people see which signs

Rising: strangers, acquaintances; it's how others perceive you at first.

Sun: acquaintances, friends, family; it's you, your personality.

Moon: close friends, family; it's your inner self and emotions, that you usually only reveal to people close to you.

Venus: romantic partners; it's how you love, how you are in relationships.

Mars: enemies, sexual partners; it's what you're like in bed, and how you deal with anger and people you don't like.

Midheaven: bosses, teachers, people you want to impress; it's how you want people to see you.

Jupiter and Saturn: people a little older than you; these planets stay in each sign longer than the personal planets, and they explain differences between different classes in school.

Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto: people much older than you; these planets take many years to change signs, and they describe your generation as a whole.

pagingme

Pros + Cons of Your Mars Sign

Mars in Aries: (Rules Aries!!!) Excitable, leader, Doesn't hold grudges, accomplishes work in a timely fashion, listens to their instincts, Playful in bed, bold // Highly competitive, aggressive, selfish, impatient, may lack a sense of self control, becomes irritated when others fail to keep up with them

Mars in Taurus: PATIENT, Extremely goal oriented, Calm and levelheaded 99% of the time, Can endure through and through, Slow to anger, sensual in bed // STUBBORN, sometimes has bouts of laziness, greedy, susceptible to getting stuck in a rut, jealous,

Mars in Gemini: Multitasking ho, absorbs knowledge like a sponge,passionate debaters, unparalleled mental stamina, GOOD WITH THEIR HANDS IN MANY WAYS// ALWAYS BORED Y Y'ALL ALWAYS BORED??? Prone to severe bouts of anxiety (Gemini mars is all about the mind, so it is easy to fall into the pitfalls of anxiety), Lacks stamina for long term projects, scatters their energy everywhere, prone to using harsh, abusive language when provoked

Mars in Cancer: Passionate, protective of other people's emotions (and their own), nurturing, dependable, form emotional bonds with their partners that allow them to thrive in the bedroom // PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE, direct their anger inward, overly protects their emotions, argumentative, struggles with letting go of loved ones/ friends, emotional outbursts

Mars in Leo: Strong desire to create, tries not to get too angry in order to spare others of their anger, loves pleasure (especially sex, hot damn), very proud, AMBITIOUS// Egocentric, self righteous, impatient, small-minded,polarizing

Mars in Virgo: GETS SHIT DONE !! Has the ability to make someone angry solely by speaking in a calm manner, perceptive--picks and chooses what they are mad about, systematic, wants the perfect sex life--therefore are open to experimenting in the bedroom// Critical, Knows exactly what to say to get under your skin, easily annoyed by pet peeves, feel worthless if they do not accomplish enough in the daytime, can be nosy about other people's sex lives, can be submissive in bed

Mars in Libra: Excellent team player, Charms anger out of others,Gives you the benefit of the doubt, congenial, Does not want to resort to aggression to express their emotions towards a situation,role players in bed // PROCRASTINATORS, represses their anger, martyr complex, runs away from situations, does not know what to do with themselves after they are confronted, gossipy, defames others

Mars in Scorpio: Strong af, passionate in bed and in their life goals, easily can hide their anger from others, exudes a powerful/seductive vibe, magnetic, quietly competitive, instinctive, can completely refrain from sex (or any indulgence of that matter)// Passive-aggressive, has the ability to manipulative others without the other person realizing, struggles with leaving controlling relationships, explosive anger, control freak

Mars in Sagittarius: LIFE OF THE PARTY, very spiritual, strong beliefs, excellent teachers, resilient, confident, knows their potential,killer in the bedroom, love to give their all in bed they could go all day // Sharp-tongued, tends to exaggerate, self righteous, can be known as a "crusader" when they can go soapboxes about certain topics

Mars in Capricorn: AMBITIOUS AF,follows through, never acts without thinking, never lets emotions get in the way of what they want, disciplined, independent// Shrewd, inconsiderate of others especially when they want something, has a hard time forgiving and forgetting, resentful, irritable

Mars in Aquarius: REBELLIOUS AF, rule breaker, expresses their energy in a unique manner, excitable, extremely unique leader, works well in large groups// Pretentious, likes to pick fights, too "nonchalant" if someone is yelling at them, feel trapped easily, surprisingly SO FREAKING STUBBORN !!

Mars in Pisces: Literally that protagonist's best friend, does not need to be #1 all the time, GOES WITH THE FLOW FR, sensitive to their environment, makes bedroom life a living fantasy, sensual// Kind of a doormat, not really ambitious, timid, can kinda be afraid of everything, overly idealistic, over-indulgent (drugs and alchohol included in this), lazy