really love how the naruto history is , like straight up a bunch of bullshit strung up together
1-like the earliest we know of is the warring clans era aka when countries and feudal lords paid shinobi clans money to settle their bullshit and what we can guess here is that
a. countries had 0 military power if they were paying mercenary clans to beat the shit out of each other instead , fire country is that huge with 0 army and no ever tried to take over through the border
b. the senju-uchiha fight is total bullshit since again these people were being paid to do this shit so no weird alien incarnation involved, also I'm inclined to believe that the senju are actually nomadic they are related to the uzumakis but the uzumakis show much more cultural connection with uzushio that the senju ever did with the land of fire , which means these people did not know each other before they both got a well constant pay from 2 rich dumbasses who really hate each other which means the long clan hate bullshit is like 3 generations tops, anyway madara and hashi decide to stop fighting and establish konoha by idk killing their employers getting big boss hi no kuni in but like hashi really wanted a place where kids don't die so he established a military stronghold , idk what the logic is but good for you man (also can we please talk about the bullshit that is konohas city scaping , yeah we could guess none of these people are engineers hashi was on drugs when he made it)
2- so we started the village buisness where more clans actually start moving into konoha and also the other shinobi clans in other countries decide that mercenary village is the shit and copy konoha, and in this stage shinobi stopped being random mercenaries and started becoming a state's army , I would also guess that this is when people with no clans started joining the forces and getting trained , it is also the stage the daimyos discovered they have actual armies and shit now and so they started throwing them at each other like a pokemon battle which is the start of the 1st war , madara was like wtf dude and then he had his fight with hashi got stuck in the cave bla bla bla , but more importantly it was actually a very good oportunity for propaganda by the daimyos since you know their new military has years of clan history that they care about much more than the village so whats's better than war to establish a nationalistic identity with you and the military general picked by you as leading important figures , an actually good political move that explains why tf are these op people obsessed with protecting some random dumbass so no notes , tobirama dies and choses hiruzen as a successor , the people on this mission made konohas 1st council which held significant political power , anyways these people decide to sign the 20 yr peace papers and root was formed around here as hiruzen relied on the council especially when he was training a team while being the hokage
3-now you have the weirdest phase imo aka the 2nd war , 1st of all hiruzen was hokage back then which means either he or the daimyo declared war on ame, suna and iwa for some fuckass reason , and even if it was the daimyo why did they not kill him , shinobi are presumably the only military force they could taje over the land of fire at any fucking moment, also danzo is not a warmongerer do you want me to believe that if he believes that the war will hurt konoha he wont do shit , this guys allegiance is not to hi no kuni its for konoha , also shinobi have literal genjutsu if they did not want to kill the guy they couldve ouldve sent one of the uchihas to control him with genjutsu and stop the war , anyways what makes this even more fucking insane is that konoha has 0 actual borders with suna and iwa and so they fought in ame but again I need you to remember that nagato said it was a war konoha started, hiruzen wtf what the actual fuck why did you start a fucking war what are we even doing here why is hanzo a bad guy why is he even trying to stop the akatsuki when he randomly had 3 world powers fighting in his backyard , anyways this war 0 actual political effect which is hilarious because konoha is cited as a victor which means they entered a war with 2 superpowers in ame , won the war but they never took ame as it is ruled by nagato in the series , or maybe nagato and konan took over like around the crush as konoha was weakened idk man , anyways this war was important to a few characters
a. the sannin got their name and tsunade became the greatest medical ninja in the world introducing reforms that got implemented during the war only I would guess since we never see any of the other medics she trained , jiraya at one point decides to choose love not war and goes to train the ame trio which must've caused a really funny discussion oro and tsu had with their teacher back home
hiruzen : where tf is jiraya we have a war
tsunade and orochimaru : ok so we were on our way back and then some random orphans appeared and he decided to leave and become a single father of 3 we don't know dude
then tsunade tells him that she too is actually leaving later since her dan and naoki both are dead and she has 0 fucks to give ig
b. kakashis dad killed sasoris parents and so chiyo hates his ass now but this is not really important , the thing that matters is that all this lead to the sakura vs sasori fight so thank you kakashis dad ,he probably became popular in this period too which will have no future consequence on his mental health
c. this one is my personal hc but I think biwako was from suna and her marriage to hiruzen happened as some part of the peace treaty since sarutobi was more friendly than diplomatic with the kazekage which is weird so my own personal explanation , orochi was the only student left back then and thats why he decided to invade from suna because he knew about his teachers marriage
3- anyways after the 2nd war uzushio was destroyed at some point by a coordinated attack after kushina moved to konoha , kumo was trying to steal the 9 tails , and then konoha and iwa went back at it again this time in kusa , suna fought and I would guess on konohas side , kiri was also fighting konoha , and so was kumo except for random battles with iwa idk man these people are lunatics , minato became prominent here and it set up the whole series by rin kiling herself here are some important parts , also kakashis dad caused this one somehow and idk konoha and iwa just seem to like beating the shit out of each other man I don't think he had anything to do with this
a. konoha was doing really fucking badly until kanabi bridge , there obito was thought to be killed while he was having fun time with great gramps madara
b. kiri decided to nuke konoha by sealing their only available nuke into rin , these guys do not have 2 bijuu they chose to lose their strongest power here for some reason , that plan went really badly because rin is a fucking freak
c. like 4 of the swordsmen had nothing better to do during the war than hang around konoha and try to kill random genin 12yr olds who were alone in the forest without their teacher for reasons , anyways this was really fucking dumb since kiri lost great fire power as they can't easily train swordsmen , they also where having the kids kill each other during the war , also both yagura and rin where the sanbis jinchuriki at the same time this really is where shit gets confusing
d. minato killed like idk 50/100 iwa shinobi and ended the war which made him a top choice for konohas next hokage
e. orochi joined root , tutored anko and started doing human experimentations , met kabuto (who killed nono in iwa which means during the 3rd war) but he did his hashirama cells 60 babies thing during the war and yamato was one of these babies but also kakashi was like 10 which means yamato must be like 16 during the series but he is kakashis age and yeah dont think much about that
f. sasori got popular in this war but god knows who suna was fighting
g. ao got his byakugan here too and idk kiri and kumo were allies against konoha so kumo was like "we want a byakugan too" and so they tried to kidnap baby hinata after the war ended and the 12 were born
4 - minato was picked as hokage , orochi deserted , fugaku was mad , the clan murders started in kiri and other places for reasons , ame was now fully controlled by the akatsuki , yagura who looks like a fucking tween was getting mind controlled by obito , the hyuuga affair happened under A as raikage presumably , then a few years later I would guess obito decided to stick a bomb on baby naruto because he had bad vibes , minato and kushina died , the 3rd is back in office
5- sai and his bro in root and hiruzen tells danzo to disband root kakashi saved yamato from root , all danzo stuff from now
6- the whole shisui thing but like I'm pretty sure the anime made the aburame guy shinos cousins whos around his age and so danzo sent some 5yr old to kill shisui in the anime but I'm not sure since I skipped the itachi fillers because I don't like him
7- uchiha massacre , itachi tortures his 7yr old bro for the village and joins the akatsuki who are currently controlling ame and the rest is history
there are probably many more details that I forgot but this post is a work of pure memory and checking characters from each of these eras so yeah