Amari watched as snow continued to flutter past her vision through the window. She then sighed as the one thing ran in her mind, the same thing she always dreaded every year.
“Tomorrow’s my birthday…” Amari muttered out. Amari wasn’t looking forward to one more step to womanhood as all she could link it to was Baxter. “Ain’t nothing to celebrate for…don’t have anyone to do it with…” She thought to herself. “Probably gon’ be helpin’ with the juke joint tomorrow.” Amari then rests her head on her hand while she continues to stare at the world in despair and subtle anger. Smoke walks into the living room to see Amari at the window. “Lil’ lady…” He calls out, grabbing Amari’s attention. “I’m ready to help with the juke joint today.” Amari tells Smoke. Smoke shook his head. “Don’t worry ‘bout the juke joint today.” Smoke assures her. “It’s too cold for you to be out there for hours ‘n I’on want you to catch a cold again.” He explained. “Then…what can I do?” Amari asked, being so used to the routine that it almost shocked her that Smoke changed it. “Stack is goin’ into the town for a bit ‘n might need some help with some things.” Smoke replied. “Think you can do it?” He asks Amari. Amari felt her heart jump a little—still not fully used to being alone with any man let alone the twins. “W-why can’t you do it?” Amari asked, trying to keep a calm demeanor despite being anxious.
“Annie ‘n I need to work on sumthin’ back here.” Smoke replied. “Plus, you might get along with Stack.” He adds in. Amari frowned. “Who said I might get along with anyone here?” Amari asked. “I told you I ain’t finna stick around here for long.” She states. Smoke cocked an eyebrow—challenged. “Alrigh’, then…there’s the door.” Smoke tells Amari, motioning to the door. Amari raised her eyebrows—baffled—while Smoke stood there with a straight face, not faltering at all. Amari quickly caved as she let out an exhale—admitting defeat. “Alrigh’, I’ll go but I need to use the bathroom first.” Amari replied as she stepped away from the window sill and walked past Smoke. When she got to the kitchen, Amari peeked over her shoulder to see if Smoke was near her. He wasn’t. Amari then dips into the kitchen and quickly grabs a knife—not too big for it to be noticeable but also not too small for it to cause minimal damage. Amari tucks the knife into her dress pocket then slips out of the kitchen, trying her hardest to act natural.
“Alright, I’m ready.” Amari announced to Smoke. Smoke nods as he escorts Amari out the door where Stack was waiting, leaning against his car. “Huh, she finally came out willingly?” Stack joked. “Took some…convincin’.” Smoke replied. “Now, you be good ‘n listen to what he tells you.” He lectures Amari. Amari was tuned out a bit as she stood there frozen—petrified that she was gonna have to spend God knows how long with a man by herself. Her palms began to sweat despite being out in the snowy weather while her legs shook. “Hey.” Smoke spoke, snapping Amari out of it. “Did you hear what I said?” Smoke asks her. Amari nods her head, lying that she understood. Amari had to mentally hype herself up before she began to slowly walk to the car while Smoke and Stack watched her. Each step felt like 5 steps to Amari while the twins’ gazes only made the walk feel like she’s been walking for a mile to the car. When she finally reached the car, she tried to get into the backseat, but Stack stopped her.
“You ain’t gotta sit in the back.” He assured her. “Gon’ git in the front.” Stack tells Amari. Not wanting to start an argument, Amari complied—both annoyed and a bit afraid that Smoke would kick her out if she ever made the smallest complaint. “We just gonna go to the Chow’s real quick ‘n then stop by Messenger’s for a spell.” Stack explained to both Amari and Smoke as he started up the car. Amari didn’t say a word while Stack pulled off. Smoke watched as they pulled off then went back into the house, where Annie was waiting for him.
“You sure it was a good idea to send her out with Stack?” Annie questioned Smoke–uneasy. “It was the only way to keep her out of the house for a bit.” Smoke replied. “Now, how we gon’ do this cake?”He asked. Annie goes into the refrigerator to get the ingredients. “It is nice that you doin’ this for the lil’ girl…but I gotta ask why.” Annie stated. “‘N how’d you know when her birthday is?” “I…don’t.” Smoke replied. “She said that her birthday is in January ‘n that’s about it.” He explained. “So, I wanted to do sumthin’ for her.” Annie smiles at Smoke. “Why you ain’t ask her?” She questioned. “That girl’s pretty tight lipped when it comes to certain stuff.” Smoke replied. “I doubt she’d be open about sumthin’ as basic as her birthday.” “While I do think that it’s a nice gesture…don’t you think this would be a bad idea?” Annie wondered. “What ‘chu mean?” Smoke asked. “You talkin’ about the time when lil’ girl says that she was taken away from her parents?” He recalled. “Her parents were taken away from her.” Annie corrected. “What’s the difference?” Smoke asked. “Smoke, you’ve shot people before ‘n you ‘n Stack were workin’ for some mob boss back in Chicago.” Annie pointed out. “You should know what I mean by that.” She adds. When Annie said that, it finally clicked to Smoke. He pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Why I ain’t think of that sooner?” He muttered out. “She told me when she came here a few months ago.” Annie explained. “She told you? Just you?” Smoke asked. “Well, from what I remembered, I did ask about her parents ‘n she told me that they died but I ain’t think they were murdered ‘til she ran out the house last week.” Annie explained. “Whoever she was with befo’ she came here, they probably the same ones who killed her parents.” She concluded. Smoke felt his heart break after hearing that. “No, no, that can’t be righ’.” Smoke denied. “Her parents had to have done sumthin’ to get killed.” “Elijah, how could you say that!?” Annie asked. “‘F anythin’, the girl wouldn’t be here let alone feelin’ like she has to survive every single day ‘n away from them folks she was with.” She pointed out. “But what does her parents have to do with the folks she was with?” Smoke asked. “One or both of ‘em have to have been involved with ‘em or sumthin’.” Smoke pointed out. “Smoke I get that but the girl has had her parents killed ‘n she probably was forced into that life of crime…not just ‘cause she wants to but because she had to.” Annie stated. “No child should be livin’ that life, not even her.” “I know…” Smoke muttered out. “What I also noticed ‘bout her is that she don’t take kindly to bein’ in water nor any man touchin’ her.” He pointed out.
“That child is hurtin’...” Annie sighed out. “She told me befo’ that a girl child is never safe in a room full of men ‘n it only took one man to show her that.” Smoke balled up his fists while remembering the screams and cries that escaped from Amari’s mouth before. Once he put two and two together, anger, the urge to kill, and sympathy wrapped around Smoke. “‘F I ever find out who they are…I swear I’ll kill ‘em.” Smoke growled out. “Who could do that to a lil’ girl ‘n for God knows how long?” “That’s sumthin’ I was thinkin’ of as well…” Annie replied. “One that scared me was that what ‘f she didn’t come to the Delta ‘n y’all didn’t find her…that lil’ girl could’ve been dead.” Annie felt her throat go dry at the thought of Amari getting killed. Smoke lets out a deep exhale. “One thing I’m tryin’ to do right now, I want lil’ lady to be safe with me, me, Stack ‘n anyone else we know.” Smoke tells Annie. “Last thing I want is for her to stay here ‘n she’s scared of me.” Annie places her hands on Smoke’s shoulders in a calming manner. “She gon’ be okay…but righ’ now…let’s just be patient with her.” Annie tells Smoke.
“I promise lil’ lady…you’re safe here ‘n I ain’t gon’ let no one hurt you.” Smoke thought to himself, swearing protection to Amari.
“You’ve been quiet this whole time lil’ rat.” Stack stated while keeping his eyes on the road. Amari was just looking at the blankets of snow that covered up the ground, ignoring Stack’s statement. Amari was mentally far from the real world while Stack was still trying to strike up a conversation with Amari. All of a sudden, Amari noticed the sky turning dark black like a storm was about to happen. Amari raised her head up as the wind began to pick up on speed.
“Is it ‘posed to storm today?” Amari thought to herself.
CRACK!
The lighting flashed through the air and Amari caught a glimpse of Baxter in the sky—eyes black and soulless and mouth stretched into an evil grin showing teeth—staring at Amari with that same predator-like stare. Amari just stared back at Baxter with the same feared look in her brown eyes while her heart began to race.
“Well, well, well, someone’s got a birthday coming up, eh?” Baxter asked—voice dark like a demon. “When I get my hands on you…” He chuckled out. “You gon’ be mine…my woman.”
Stack noticed Amari zoned out with a petrified look on her face. His eyebrows furrowed as he called out to Amari. “Streetrat? Streetrat!” Stack yelled out, trying to get her attention. No response as Amari continued to look at the sky like it was something that was trying to get her.
“Happy birthday Amari…” Baxter spoke in a low voice. “May you continue to become somethin’ that Capone ‘n I will always control…”
“No…no…I ain’t a woman! I ain’t becomin’ a woman!” Amari thought to herself. Amari then feels a hand grab her. Thinking it was Baxter, Amari flailed and screamed which startled Stack. “NO!” Amari screamed out. Stack almost swerved off the road from that reaction. “I ain’t a woman! I don’t wanna become a woman!” Amari shrieked out as she began to blindly hit Stack. “Hey! Hey! Cut it out ‘fore you make us crash!” Stack yelled trying to grab at Amari’s wrists with one hand while the other was still on the wheel. Tears began to form into Amari’s eyes–blinding her version even more—as she continued to hit at Stack, not fully out from her hallucination of Baxter. Stack finally got ahold of one of Amari’s wrist as he screamed out,
“STOP IT!”
Amari finally opened her eyes to see Stack staring at her. The angry look on Stack’s face immediately shifted to a concerned look once he got a good look at the tears in Amari’s eyes. “Is she…cryin’?” Stack thought to himself. Amari then snapped her head to the road to see a tree up ahead. “HEY! WATCH OUT!” Amari screamed while pointing at the road. Stack grabbed the wheel with both hands and swerved away from the tree—avoiding the impending crash. Both Stack and Amari then shared the feeling of fear as they both panted while Stack could hear his heartbeat in his ears. Stack then turns to Amari to yell at her but then notices the same tear faced and scared look on Amari’s face.
“Hey, are you ok-” Stack reached out to Amari again, but Amari flinched. “Don’t…touch me.” She spoke in a stern voice. “Don’t you ever touch me Baxter!” She yelled. Stack was dumbfounded. “Who the hell is Baxter?” Stack asked. Amari didn’t answer as she held herself tight like she was physically trying to keep herself together. Stack finally left Amari alone but something was still fresh in Stack’s mind.
“Who the hell is Baxter?”
“Capone! You got a visitor!” The CO called out while opening up the cell. Baxter raised his head up from the bottom bunk as Capone got down from the top. “Who is it?” Baxter asked Capone. “It’s probably one of the fellas.” Capone replied as he walked out of the cell to the visitation room. Behind the plexiglass window on the other side was one of Capone’s goons, Brick. Capone picked up the phone.
“Start talkin’.” Capone spoke. “Anythin’ regarding Streetrat?” He asked. “No sir.” Brick replied. “She hasn’t come back to the hideout.” He informs him. Capone clenched his fist at the disappointing news. “Dammit…” He gritted out. “So she’s really gone for good here huh?” Capone asked. “What about the others?” He questioned. “Still waitin’ for your return.” Brick replied. “How’s the plan?” He asked. “Baxter ‘n I got acquainted with some Italian suckers.” Capone replied. “Promised ‘em that I’d pay them ‘f they help bust us out of here.” He adds. Brick chuckled. “You better hope they ain’t the type to kill.” He playfully warns Capone. “Eh, I ain’t afraid of some punks.” Capone scoffed. Brick then clears his throat.
“But boss, when we got back to the hideout…” Brick begins as he pulls out a small journal. “We found this.” Capone raised an eyebrow—confused. “It’s just some small notebook.” He pointed out. “It has Streetrat’s name in it.” Brick replied. “It’s like her diary or something.” He adds. “Maybe we could find something linked to her whereabouts.” Brick suggested. Capone was silent for a beat—pondering—before he spoke. “Lemme see that book.” He orders Brick. Brick puts the journal in the drawer to send it to Capone on the other side. Capone grabbed the journal and flipped through the pages—confirming that it really was Amari’s journal—then smiled to himself.
“Capone! It’s time to go back!” The CO called out. Capone gets up from his seat while bidding Brick farewell. When he got back to the cell, Baxter was sitting on the bottom bunk.
“What’s that?” Baxter asked.
“Something that’ll help us find Streetrat.”
“Slim!” Stack called out. Delta Slim was on the piano playing when he turned around to see Stack and Amari. Delta Slim then smiled as he got off the piano. “Y’know we ain’t open today.” He stated—jestering. “Had to come see you for a spell.” Stack chuckled out. Delta Slim’s eyes then land on Amari. “Say, didn’t I see you from somewhere?” Delta Slim asked. “We…met at the train station a few months ago.” Amari mumbled out. Delta Slim snapped his fingers. “That’s righ’!” He exclaimed. “Damn, you’re still here? Thought you went back to Chicago.” Delta Slim stated. Amari just shook her head. “Not much of a talker huh?” Delta Slim asked. Amari didn’t answer. Stack cleared his throat.
“You still good with them keys, Slim?” He asks. “That depends.” Delta Slim replied. “I’ll give you $20 to come play at our new juke joint…once it gets done.” Stack offered. “Yeah, I wish I could.” Delta Slim declined. “Imma be here at Messenger’s every saturday like I usually am.” He adds. “Probably the only place I’ll be at ‘til my final days.” Delta Slim muttered out. Stack smirked to himself. “Y’know Slim, I’ll accept that.” He replied. Stack then reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small sack. Amari’s eyes grew wide when Stack pulled out a bottle of beer.
“That…that beer.” Amari thought to herself. “I’ve seen it before!” However, Amari wasn’t the only one who was focused on the beer. Delta Slim’s eyes were stuck on the bottle in Stack’s hand like it was a diamond. When Stack opened the bottle with a crack, Delta Slim exclaimed—interest full piqued. “What ‘chu got there boy?” He asks Stack. “Oh, this?” Stack begins. “This an Irish beer.” That’s when it clicked with Amari.
“Streetrat!” Capone calls out to Amari. “Hurry up with them crates of liquor!” He barked. 15 year old Amari groaned as she lowered down to pick up the crate of liquor. “Where the hell did Capone get this kinda liquor?” Amari muttered to herself. Baxter was right next to her carrying a crate. “He knows a few folks who do it.” He replied. “What did he get?” Amari asked. “Just some Irish beer ‘n some Italian wine.” Baxter replied. “Best kind there is here in Chicago.” “What’s he plannin’ to do with it?” Amari asked. “Enough with the questions.” Baxter replied in a stern voice. “It’s not like you ‘bout to get some.”
Before Stack could take a sip, Delta Slim stopped him. “You sayin’ that’s beer?” Delta Slim asked. Amari raised an eyebrow at Delta Slim. “He’s a drinker huh?” She thought to herself. “I reckon’ money ain’t the only thing that talks to this old man.” “Chicago didn’t bring us back to the Delta empty handed.” Stack replied as he handed the bottle to Delta Slim. “Gimme that.” Delta Slim chuckled out while accepting the beer bottle. Delta Slim examined the bottle for a second before taking a sip. Amari watched Delta Slim’s reaction to the taste of the Irish beer. Delta Slim was in pure ecstasy. “My goodness…” He muttered out. Stack chuckled at his successful attempt of bribery. “I got ‘bout 500 of those bottles, ice cold.” Stack stated. “So how ‘bout I pay ya $40 ‘n all the beer you could drink when the juke joint is complete.” He offered.
Delta Slim looks up at Stack for a minute before…
“Alrigh’, cake is done.” Annie announced as she pulled the cake out of the oven. “‘F she rejects the cake then we gon’ give it to Cornbread.” Smoke nods his head as he looks out the window to see the sky turning into a navy blue color. “She still out with Stack, I hope they alrigh’.” Smoke thought to himself before he walked out the door. He made his way over to the small baby grave then crouched down to dust the snow away. He noticed that Annie replaced the bottle of milk then sighed. “Always there for our baby.” Smoke thought to himself. Amari then pops up in Smoke’s head. Instead of her usual cold and stoic face, she was smiling—bright like the sun itself. Smoke then stands up to see the same happy Amari running at him with open arms—inviting him to a hug. Smoke was stunned at first but his arms instinctively stuck out ready to accept the hug. Once Amari came in contact with Smoke, she vanished into the thin air. Smoke just looked at his hands like he was still trying to grasp the emptiness.
“You thinkin’ about her…aren’t you?”
Smoke turned around to see Annie. “I…I’on know.” Smoke replied. “But sumthin’ about that girl just makes me feel some type of way.” He admits. “That she’s like one of your own?” Annie asked. “How the fuck did you know that?” Smoke asked. “You comin’ out here to check on our baby ‘n then I saw you holdin’ your arms out like you acceptin’ a hug.” Annie explained. Smoke hung his arms to his side. “Come back inside ‘fore you catch cold.” Annie tells Smoke as he follows her inside. “It’s not like I’m tryin’ to replace our daughter but…part of me wants to protect that lil’ girl.” Smoke admitted. “I’ve never met a young girl so scared of life to where she has to fight all the time to survive.” He adds. “She kinda reminds me of…of…”
Annie places her hands on his shoulders. “I know Elijah…I know…” She spoke in a soothing voice. “Let’s just hope that she’ll come around soon.” Annie mumbled against Smoke’s neck. “I know you’re doin’ all this for her ‘n I know she will soon.” Smoke pecks Annie’s lips then wraps his arms around her waist. “In my eyes, with her, it’s like she’s one of our own.” Annie admits. Smoke presses his forehead against hers.
“It feels like she’s one of our own.” Smoke thought to himself.
Delta Slim happily played on the piano while Stack chuckled. “We gon’ make some money at this new juke joint.” Stack thought to himself. Stack then peeked over his shoulder to see Amari sitting at one of the tables. His face softened at the sight of Amari looking sad, like the world failed her. Stack grew nervous but he slowly strides over to Amari. Amari raised her head up when she saw Stack’s shadow in her vision. “Hey lil’ rat.” Stack greets. Amari just nods her head at him. Stack then pulls up a seat in front of her. “You’ve been quiet all day compared to the slick talk you always gave me ‘n Smoke.” He pointed out. “Where did you get that beer?” Amari asks Stack. Stack was a bit taken aback but he answers, “From Chicago. Have you seen it before?” Amari nods her head. “It was sumthin’ that the man I was with always had stored in the hideout.” She replied. Stack just nods his head, understanding what she said. “Well…me ‘n Smoke we stole that from some folks we used to work with back in Chicago.” Stack explained while fiddling with his thumbs. “Decided to sell it when we complete the juke joint.” He adds. All of sudden, Stack’s story began to feel familiar. “Wait…” She begins. “Who were the folks you stole from?” Amari asked. “Oh, it was from both the Irish mob ‘n Italian mafia.” Stack replied. “Smoke stole the beer from the mob, I stole the wine from the mafia.” He explained. “Do you know who the leaders were?” Amari asked. “Not really.” Stack replied. “All I know is that the man they were connected with was Chicago’s notorious gangster.” He adds in. “His name was-”
“Al Capone.” Amari cuts him off. Stack was baffled at Amari’s quick response. “Y-yeah, that was him.” He stammered out. “How did you know that?” “‘Cause he was the man I ran away from.” Amari replied. Stack thought for a second before it finally pieced together in his head. “You worked for Capone!?” Stack yelled out. Amari nods her head. Stack then slams his hand down on the table. “That’s where I knew you from!” Stack exclaimed. “‘Cause ever since I saw you, you just felt familiar like I’ve seen you befo’ ‘n I couldn’t figure out where or when.” He explained. “I somewhat remember you.” Amari admits. “I think I had to be 12 when you saw me.” “Yeah, you were in the corner drenched head to toe.” Stack pointed out. “That sounds ‘bout right.” Amari agreed. “It was a year after Capone ‘n them took me in…after my parents died.” She explained. “They…killed them, did they?” Stack asks Amari. “I remember whenever we mention your parents, you get pretty hot about it.” He recalls. Amari nods her head.
“My dad used to be Capone’s righ’ hand man before the other guy took over.” Amari stated. “I’on know what made Capone want to kill my dad, but I wouldn’t be surprised ‘f he was framed for sumthin’.” Amari continued. “‘Cused ‘im of stealin’ the liquor when my daddy was innocent ‘n they decided to take me in instead of killin’ me right there with my mama ‘n daddy.” She adds. Stack could hear the cracking in Amari’s voice. “If I were to have known I was gon’ be forced into a life of crime…I’d be better off dead with ‘em.” Amari cracked. “Capone took away my parents…’n his right hand man right now…took away my sanity ‘n my innocence.” That last sentence really grabbed Stack’s attention.
“Innocence? What ‘chu mean?” Stack asked. Amari then bit her lip as her eyes began to sting with tears beginning to form. Based on that reaction, Stack realized what Amari meant by her innocence. Anger was brewing inside of Stack as he thought to himself, “Those sick sons of bitches…who does some sick shit like that to a lil’ ass girl!?” Stack watched as Amari sat there with tears sliding down her face as if she was mentally reliving that same trauma for the nth time in her life. “Everyday…I had to fight, kill, ‘n steal in order to survive…” Amari croaked out. “I had to do the dirty work while still gettin’ beat for even the smallest screw up…” She continued. “Beaten…drowned…but ain’t nuthin’ worse then…when they took away the two things that I had been trying to keep close to myself ‘til life says otherwise ‘n it’s sumthin’ I AIN’T NEVER GON’ GET BACK!” Amari screamed out, catching Delta Slim’s attention as he stopped playing the piano. Amari's hands grew shaky—filled with both rage and recurring grief. “I ain’t proud that I’m here ‘n how I ended up where I ended up…but ‘f they still rottin’ in that jail right now then I have no regrets at all.” Amari spoke–voice low and filled with despair. Stack exhaled deeply through his nose.
“No child should be goin’ through that shit.” Stack thought to himself. Delta Slim walks over to the table. “Stack, is she alrigh’?” Delta Slim asked. Stack didn’t say a word as he sat there letting Amari’s tragedy and trauma play out in his head. Delta Slim pulls up a chair and sits in front of Amari. “Lil’ missy, what’s wrong?” Delta Slim asks Amari. Amari couldn’t form a sentence as she continued to hiccup and sob while Delta Slim watched her. Stack then gets up. “Slim, I’mma get her outta here.” He tells Delta Slim—voice sounding serious. “I’ll be back ‘nother time, c’mon Streetrat.” Amari gets up from the table and slowly trudges along behind Stack as Delta Slim sat there and watched. Once they left, Delta Slim thought to himself,
“That’s the look of a girl that’s hurtin’.”
The ride back to the house felt quiet. Nothing compared to earlier but this time it was both Amari and Stack who were quiet as mice. Stack was trying to contain his anger but whenever he looked over at Amari—who was asleep and tuckered out from crying—the rage only grew stronger. “How could Capone allow that shit to happen?” Stack thought to himself. “Why he felt the need to take in a lil’ girl ‘n then use ‘n abuse her?” Stack then thought of Smoke and how he would’ve reacted if he found out. “Smoke would’ve driven back to Chicago to kill Capone.” He thought to himself. When Stack reached the house, Smoke was standing by the door—waiting for their arrival. Stack scooped the slumbering teenager up and began to carry her into the house. Smoke noticed the tear stains on Amari’s mocha colored cheeks and furrowed his eyebrows. When Stack gently set Amari down on the couch he turned to Smoke.
“Was she cryin’?” Smoke whispered out. Stack nods his head. “She had a lot to get off her chest.” He explained in a low voice. Stack then motions for Smoke to walk outside. When the twins were on the porch, Stack ripped the band aid off immediately. “That girl worked for Capone.” Stack stated with no hesitation. Smoke looked at his younger twin like he had grown a second head. “What?” Smoke replied. “She told me.” Stack briefly explained. “Streetrat’s parents were killed by Capone ‘n Capone took her in ‘n made her one of his goons.” He adds. Smoke just stood there—stunned. “‘N she told you all of that?” Smoke asked. “I wouldn’t be sayin’ this ‘f I was bullshittin’.” Stack replied—face frowned into a serious look. “This whole time I was wonderin’ why she felt so familiar ‘n she remembers us, well, mainly me, ‘cause I remember seein’ her drenched head to toe when she was younger.” He explained. “Her comin’ here wasn’t on purpose but it wasn’t an accident either…she saw an opportunity to escape ‘n she took it.” Stack adds. Smoke just stood there quietly as he tried to process all the information Stack threw at him.
“My God…” Smoke muttered out. “This is probably why she didn’t take men too kindly in the beginning.” He points out. “Smoke…they beat that girl, drowned her, ‘n one of ‘em even raped that girl.” Stack explained. If that didn’t set Smoke off, Stack doesn't know what would. “Her father used to work for Capone, huh?” Smoke asked. “Did she ever tell you his name?” He questioned. Stack shook his head no. “Nah, but whenever I look at her she reminds me of this one man named…what was it? It started with an A.” Stack pondered. Then it hit Smoke. “Adam!” He exclaimed. “I remember he was one of the nicest ones there.” Smoke reminisces. “Streetrat says that he was accused of stealin’ the liquor that we stole ‘n Capone killed ‘im straight up.” Stack recalled. “But from what I remembered, he was Capone’s righ’ hand man ‘round that time.” Smoke remembered. “So, why the hell would he steal from the man who always had his back?” He questioned. “That’s the thing; he didn’t ‘n he had no reason to ‘cause he always tried to provide for his kid.” Stack pointed out. “Which is lil’ lady.” Smoke points out, referring to Amari. The twins didn’t know which feeling they were feeling the most in their bodies: Sympathy or anger. Smoke’s hands shook with the intent to kill. Smoke then deeply exhaled to calm down.
“Y’know sumthin’...in a way lil’ lady reminds me of someone…” Smoke begins. Stack looks at his dear older twin in the eyes. “I know ‘xactly what ‘chu saying too.” Stack agrees while nodding his head. Smoke pulls Stack in for a big hug while Stack lets out a deep exhale—relaxed at the loving embrace of his older brother.
“I told myself…that I was gon’ protect that girl from now on.” Smoke mumbled out. Stack hums. “You ain’t gotta worry ‘bout that.” He assures Smoke. “I got her…I got her in a way you always had me…” Stack declared.
“We both do…” Smoke stated.
Amari woke up to the beam of sunlight hitting her face. The sunlight felt like a reminder to Amari on what day it is.
“Well, happy birthday to me.” Amari thought to herself. “Which is sumthin’ I would say ‘f things weren’t like this.” Amari slowly rises up and finds herself on the couch. “Stack must’ve carried me inside.” She thought to herself as she slid off the couch. Amari then notices the house being quiet but then glances at the window to see that the truck was still there. “Hmm, they still here.” Amari muttered out. Amari opens the door, letting the ice cold wind hit her face—making her fully awake—as she looks around for either Smoke or Annie. Amari squinted her eyes to see Smoke and Stack crouched down a few feet away. She walked—shoes crunching against the snow—to check on them. Smoke didn’t react or anything but he could feel Amari’s presence.
“You up, huh?” Smoke asked. Stack turned around to see Amari and the feeling of anger and sympathy returned. “You slept well?” Stack asks Amari—trying to be nice. Amari just nods her head. Smoke then gets up from the snow, revealing the small grave to Amari. “What’s that?” Amari asked, pointing at the grave. Smoke looked at the grave then back at Amari. “My…angel.” Smoke replied. Amari looked at him confused but then she realized what Smoke was referring to as his angel. “Y-you had a kid?” Amari asked, a bit stunned at the fact. Smoke nods his head. “Thought you knew or Annie at least told ya.” Smoke stated. Amari shook her head. “No, I ain’t know that you were a father.” Amari replied. Smoke inhaled before he spoke again. “Me ‘n Annie lost her when she was a baby ‘n before me ‘n Stack came to Chicago.” He explained. “You…you had a daughter?” Amari asked. Smoke nods his head again. Smoke watches the sad look form on Amari’s face as he walks towards her. Amari stumbled back a bit.
“Annie made you sumthin’ yesterday.” Smoke tells Amari, changing the subject. “We know that your birthday is in January but we don’t know when.” Amari’s depression returned after hearing that. “It’s…today actually.” She muttered out. Stack’s eyes grew wide. “Oh, um, happy birthday?” He tells Amari in an uneasy tone. Amari just nods before she walks off back to the house. “That girl ain’t neva gon’ have a happy birthday again in her life.” Smoke commented. Stack shook his head as he walked into the house to see Amari sitting at the table with her head hanging low.
“Is this why you were so quiet yesterday?” Stack asked, pulling up a chair. Amari raised her head up at him. “You were quiet one minute but the minute I grabbed your attention, you tried to fight me like I was tryin’ to rob you.” Stack explained. Amari sighs. “I’m…sorry.” She apologized. Stack was a little surprised at the apology but he kept a calm face. “After the story you told me, it all makes sense now.” He stated. Amari didn’t say a word at first but then she spoke again. “It…fucked me up.” Amari muttered out. “They…fucked me up…” She specified. “I…want my daddy back…my mama too…” Amari’s voice cracked. Stack wanted to hug Amari but knew that wouldn’t result in anything good. “You don’t understand what it’s like to lose your parents ‘n then live to only be beaten.” Amari cried out. “Actually…I do.” Stack replied. Amari wiped her eyes—clearing her vision—to see the serious look on Stack’s face.
“I know what it’s like to lose a parent ‘n be alive only to be beaten almost to death.” Stack begins. “The only difference is that…my father…our father…was the one who almost beat me to death.” He revealed. Amari blinked away her tears as Stack went on with his monologue.
“Smoke ‘n I lost our mama when she gave birth to us…died righ’ after she had me. We had a close friend of hers look after us like we were her own…but that ain’t saved our pa the grief of losin’ our mama. That grief instantly turned into resentment, mainly towards me since I was the one who killed her ‘n our pa decided to make that a reminder everyday ‘n everytime he sees my face. Every yell, every insult, every punch ‘n kick were reminders that I took away the one woman he loved ‘n to him, those felt like wishes of him wantin’ me dead instead of her. Smoke had to be the one to take the beatings for me sometimes. Had to dress like me or had to shield me from it. One day, that was the last time pa ever put his hands on me. All I remember was our pa knockin’ me out cold ‘n when I came to, Smoke was halfway done buryin’ him. Our pa may be dead, but even Smoke ‘n I both knew that killin’ him wasn’t gon’ bring her back ‘n that was from then on, I had no one to trust other than Smoke himself. So, yeah, I understand the feelin’ of losin’ parents ‘n livin’ in nothin’ but beatings.”
After Stack finished, Amari felt like something in her had died. Amari stared into Stack’s eyes that were shaded by the wide brim of his fedora hat and could see the look of returning guilt. “It…wasn’t your fault.” Amari spoke. “That’s how life goes.” Stack lifts his head up a bit. “Can you say the same for yours?” He asks her. Amari grew quiet before she spoke again. “I…wanna say it, but I couldn’t.” She admits. “I can’t say that my parents dyin’ was my fault…but me stayin’ with Capone ‘n bein’ in a life of crime, that was my fault there.” Amari explained. “But didn’t you say before that you only did it to survive?” Stack recalled. “Yeah it was, but I feel like I should’ve died along with my parents.” Amari replied. “Then I wouldn’t be where I’m at right now.” “Everyone has regrets in our lives, includin’ me ‘n Smoke.” Stack stated. “You think he wanted to go to war ‘n Chicago after he ‘n Annie lost their child?” He asked. “I…pitched the idea ‘cause I wanted us to find freedom in the form of sumthin’.” Stack admits. “Thought that we could find freedom anywhere within the world besides death but now, I regret ever bringin’ Smoke out of the Delta ‘f it meant that he had to leave behind Annie like that.” He adds.
“To me, freedom feels nonexistent.” Amari stated. “Only death could’ve been my idea of freedom but why I ain’t do it, I’on know.” She continued. “Maybe I was just hopin’ Capone would’ve taken me out already but he needed me alive for reasons I’on even know.” Amari explained. “I reckon’ he knew that keepin’ me alive was a fate worse than death.” “Do you ever have those thoughts?” Stack asked. “Of dyin’?” Amari asked. “When I first started workin’ for Capone yes…but now, I decided to live long enough ‘til I can figure a way out of Capone’s clutches ‘n I reckon’ life provided it for me when I got on that train the day Capone got caught.” She explained. “Didn’t expect to be here but I’d rather start from the bottom of the barrel by myself than to be under someone’s thumb.” Stack nods his head, understanding Amari’s ideology of self living and freedom.
“Y’know sumthin’ kid?” Stack begins. “You’ve been livin’ a life where you had no one to protect you or look after you.” He stated. “Tell me sumthin’ I don’t know.” Amari replied. “But…now that you’re here…’n now that I know your story, I honestly don’t want you to go back to Chicago.” Stack admits. “Wasn’t plannin’ to ‘cause ain’t nuthin’ for me back there.” Amari shrugs her shoulders. “But here, it just feels different.” She admits. “Like, o’course I’m under y’all’s thumb now but…Smoke ‘n Annie, they allowed me in their house, fed me food, put some new clothes on my back…it almost felt like I wasn’t in y’all depth at all.” Amari explained. “Even after everythin’ whenever all this is happenin’...it feels like home.” “Yeah, ‘pecially after learnin’ that Smoke was a father too huh?” Stack asked. Amari nods her head. “Smoke always had a soft spot for kids, even after the one he lost.” Stack informs Amari. “That explains a lot.” Amari commented. It was quiet for a second before Stack placed his hand on the table.
“Hey kid, just know this…you ain’t gotta feel like you have to fight or steal to survive.” Stack assured her. “Smoke ‘n I said this the other night, we wanna protect you from now on.” He adds in. “Thanks but no.” Amari declined. “This is non-negotiable.” Stack stated. Amari grumbled. “But kid, we wanna know ‘f you trust us to protect you.” Stack continued. “Do you trust us?” He asks Amari. Amari looked down to see Stack had his hand stuck out—inviting her to grab. Amari raised a shaky hand up until her small hand wrapped around Stack’s large calloused palm—feeling the warmth of his hand.
“I accept.” Amari finally spoke.
“‘F that’s the case, you still wanna eat your birthday cake?” Both of them heard a gruff voice ask. Amari and Stack whirled around to see Smoke standing by the door. “How long were you righ’ there?” Stack asked Smoke. “Long enough to hear y’all lil’ heart to heart.” Smoke replied as he strides in. Smoke opened up the refrigerator and pulled out the cake that was covered in white vanilla icing. When Smoke set it down, Amari looks up at him then says the one thing that changed the relationship between them.
“Amari.”
Smoke looked at her confused.
“Beg ya pardon?” Smoke asked.
“Amari…that’s my name.” Amari repeated. Smoke looks at Amari for a second—hoping that she was pulling his leg—but then kneels down in front of her.
Beautiful fanart of Smoke & Stack Twins by @miriam__kara Final outcome + WIP stages
Medium: Charcoal + Graphite
I used this piece to warm up after a long break from drawing. It was challenging, but it definitely served its purpose. Watching Sinners really inspired me and pushed me to pick up drawing again. Here’s to making more art this year 🤞🏾
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