an amalgamation of shanes autism and ilyas sarcasm

emme | they/them | fka hauntedhistorian be freaky but first and foremost be kind thinkin’ queer thoughts 💭 | minors dni

[myshangel]

MyShane does not play about ilyas depression btw. he just doesn’t. its not a joke to him and he doesn’t treat it as such. if he needs to lock all the medications in the house in the safe he will. if sveta needs to come and stay with them then shane will pay for her flights. if he needs to go on IR then shane will support him. he doesn’t play abt his husband’s health

[myshangel]

like. he's taking the locks off the bathroom doors . he's calling in sick to look after him he's washing his hair for him. if he hears one too many jokes he's saying "hey, you've said that a few times this week, can we talk about it?"

he takes it so seriously. SO seriously. he runs a mental health charity let's be so for real he has soooo many resources at his disposal and he uses them!!!!;

[shanezero]

Soooo hey to anyone I have here too 👋 🥰

Hoping they reinstate me/give me Threads access back at some point, things are so quiet w/o y’all!

[penandinkprincess]

laughing about the idea of ilya doing one of those puppy buzzfeed interviews and then anya sniffing him when he gets home and feeling SO betrayed

and shane meanwhile is having a great time pressing the accelerator on this guilt trip

cuddling anya and just, "i know, huh? papa left and played with WHO KNOWS HOW MANY other dogs, and the whole time you were here missing him"

ilya, who is lowkey devastated: "hollander, this is not a joke."

"no, it isn't, huh, anya? you're so, so sad now."

"...hollander PLEASE. anya, i am sorry-"

"it seems like he's saying something, but we can't hear cheaters, can we, anya?"

"HOLLANDER"

[penandinkprincess]

I'm very attached to shane got his autism from one or both of his parents but none of them are diagnosed because it presents the very funny idea of their house naturally having habits/accomodations that are normal for them and thus never get brought up but that of course ilya wouldn't know about

like they're all used to calling out a warning before something loud ("blender!") just as a heads up because yes of course you would warn everyone around you about incoming loud noise

which means one day ilya is helping clean up a potted plant that got knocked over but turns on the vacuum without a warning, making yuna and shane look at him like he just betrayed them

and ilya is just ????

[ilyapricot]

Can u watch them for me I need to go to the store rq

[miscelium]

reasons shane and ilya should be evenly matched in size, height, weight, build, strength, athleticism, etc. in canon and in fanon

i find it hot

they’re comparable generationally talented first line center professional hockey players

positioning shane as smaller/shorter/daintier than his white dom top boyfriend perpetuates racial, gender, and sexual stereotypes

i personally find it REALLY hot

when he chooses to, shane can physically overpower ilya (hockey, shoving ilya into walls i.e. vegas rooftop and stairwell scenes) but when he wants to submit in bed, he allows himself to be pushed, carried, held down, etc. because they both like it and want it

feminist scholar jane ward: "queer circuits of desire do not rely on the erotic encounter of opposites"

they can wear each other's clothes in a cozy boyfriend hoodie "give. i miss your boring laundry smell" "why the fuck are all your clothes dry clean hand wash only" long distance yearning way or post-game sweat damp base layer horny way or "gross now i have cum on my sweats i'm stealing yours" "okei yay ♥" fondly annoyed way

in conclusion have i mentioned i think it’s really hot

[shanezero]

Shane Hollander is a capital-F Freak and he’ll remind you multiple times actually because he’s very passionate about capitalizing proper nouns

[shanezero]

let’s test things out here, shall we?

shane hollander’s nightly flossing routine starts first with carefully plucking a singular pube from ilya rozanov’s brimming bush

send post

[shanezero]

hey, pals! 👋

for those linking up over here as well, here’s the community to join for tHRiends:

https://www.tumblr.com/communities/everything-heated-rivalry

[shanezero]

so… is modern tumblr cooler than you know who?

we can say cum???

[shanezero]

Man, I haven’t been on tumblr since the 2010s

Takin’ a temperature check over here—how are y’all doin’? We’re gettin’ spit-roasted to infinity by the algo over on threads 🫠