apprentices on the loose

shar blog unedited

[sharblogunedited]

I NEED THESE TORSOS. THESE LEATHERY LADY TORSOS.

SHAR CALL CENTER

[pilottcandidate-deactivated2013]

Visit Original Link

this is it, my greatest contribution to the internet

[clitoralqueen]

IM GOING TO PISS MY PANTS

[trumpetangst]

Oh. my. god.

[sharblogunedited]

This just got played in the Shar call center. Applause.

[animation-s]

[colonelunicorn-blog]

One Christmas I received a calendar from my sister of awkwardly close RDJ headshots. I hung it up for a bit, but it was uncomfortable and weird. The perfect gift. After the year, I always saved it. “There must be a use for these Robert Downey Jr. faces” I would say. “Don’t throw this away.”

I was right.

[worldaccordingwrites]

I HATE BEING A YOUNG WRITER BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE WORLD YET AND MY STORIES LACK REALISM. LIKE WHAT IF A CHARACTER NEEDS TO FILE HIS OR HER TAXES? I DON’T KNOW HOW ONE GOES ABOUT FILING TAXES! YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA OF HOW CONCERNED I AM ABOUT KNOWING HOW TO FILE TAXES.

[secretly-shady]

I love you for putting this into words. 

[whatshouldwecallme]

Me every day when I get home from work

[sharblogunedited]

YUP

[sharblogunedited]

I made this. I'm so hilariously witty.

[hallucinosims]

Guess what month it is

[tcliu-deactivated20130725]

[sharblogunedited]

I think I will make a great differentiated identity disorder Alice in Wonderland. 

[sharblogunedited]

Hi, thank you for calling Shar Music, this is Sharblogunedited, how may I help you?

Customer: I've known my child needed a violin since July, but I chose to wait until today to order it and we need it by tomorrow, can you do that?

Sharblogunedited: Yes, that shipping will cost $40.

Customer: WHAT? WHY? That's SO MUCH MONEY.

Sharblogunedited: Yes, it is. We have to pay that much to the shippers. We recognize that that is a lot of money, which is why we ask you to pay for it. Because it is a lot.

Customer: Why can't you do it for free? You're horrible. This is a horrible company. Everything about you is horrible. You kill kittens.

Sharblogunedited: Yes. Yes we do. Astute observation.

[yourmaineventer]

Fuck The Police.

[psych-facts]

Being a perfectionist can result in depression and a lot of stress.

  (via psych-facts)

[givemetrills-deactivated2016010]

how do you know when you have enough concert black?

you don’t. you never have enough

[mofomotion]

[sharblogunedited]

YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED.

I LOVE HALLOWEEN.

[whiskey-daydreams]

[a-fudging-assbutt-deactivated20]

HALLOWEEN IN 25 DAYS