The first shartmaster

I shart myself at night 😈

[lesvegas]

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

[lesvegas]

literally how it feels

[crabussy]

I bet it feels real good to be a sailing ship when they tighten the rigging

[crabussy]

wrong. everyone get more perverted about marine vessels now and I'm not kidding

[crabussy]

this post reaching Actual Ship Captains is beyond delightful holy moly

[talon-dragonbeast]

daily affirmations for college students

im doing great

my teeth and claws are very sharp

i can kill ai with my mind

the professor is more scared of me than i am of them

theres no surprise test on friday

no one can tell i have a tumblr blog

my roommates dont hate me

salmon burguers on sale

[infectiouspiss]

everyone line up i've got one bottle of testosterone gel and there's 17,000 of you i'm about to pull a move not seen since jesus did the bread and fish glitch 2000 years ago

[1percentcharge]

momentarily had the thought “shout out to my platonic harem” and then remembered that’s called friends

[mxjackparker]

some of you need to re-learn the word "selfish" and stop calling everyone a fucking narcissist

[muttsys-deactivated20260425]

Anyone else noticing theres no websites anymore. You never go to website.com anymore its always some bullshit like "go to the smeeple app store and download the flubi app" i dont want toooo what ever happened to websites. I do not like it

[anistarrose]

my only religious belief is that there is no afterlife except for the ublock origin team who are going to heaven and the youtube anti-adblock team who are going to hell

[bloodiegawz]

well at least im not 11 or 12 or 13 or 14 or 15 or 16 or 17 or 18 or one of those awful years

[johnathandarksouls]

Fie, I remember my teen years, t’was when I was a squire. Terrible thing those years. I am Johnathan Darksouls

[bloodiegawz]

i know you always have my back johnathan darksouls

[gumi-megpoidd]

"theyre giving he man pronouns" is one of the funniest things ive heard recently. i cant stop thinking about it. he man. the man with a pronoun in his name. he. theyre giving he man pronouns. incredible

[chimaerakitten]

Look if a garment is like. Wool or silk. And it’s like, don’t put me in the fucking wash. I’m like yeah of course ma’am I shall lightly dab you with a damp cloth and air you out so you don’t get stinky. But when a polyester garment is like “hand wash only” I’m like who the FUCK do you think you are. You’re plastic. Get in the drum.

[5bi5]

Yelling “we got company” right before being attacked by a horde of enemies probably feels good as fuck for an action protagonist

[gobusto]

saw someone mix up "abysmal" and "abyssal" today, so as a reminder:

her skills are abysmal = she is unskilled

her skills are abyssal = her abilities draw upon the forbidden power of the dark void

[thornrings]

[heavymetalhazard]

oh my god

[dogpuppy]

[babushkaat]