[shatteredmv21]

Everyone talks about setting goals at the beginning of the year or reflecting them at the end but no one talks about setting them in the middle of the year, when you’re still figuring things out and quietly hoping life will change.

So here’s mine.

My goal is to establish atleast one emotional connection. Someone who truly sees me and makes me feel like I don’t have to carry life alone.

[shatteredmv21]

[shatteredmv21]

[shatteredmv21]

There is a time and place for feelings. I’m not saying to ignore your feelings or suppress them. Just avoid the emotional reactions. Handle your emotions in private so you can react in the best way possible. If you are feeling a very very strong emotion, do not act on that emotion. Instead find an outlet for yourself, whether it’s journaling, going to gym, drawing art or doing something creative. Do something to distract yourself from the emotional reactions temporarily until you can find a resolution that makes sense.

[shatteredmv21]

If pennywise shape-shifted into my biggest fear it’ll probably be my parents 😕

[shatteredmv21]

There’s nothing more overwhelming than living with people who make me feel guilty for what I’m feeling. I’m sorry, but I can’t always react the way you expect me to…I can’t be smiling and happy all the time. I have days where I feel sad too and that’s okay… guilt tripping won’t help. If I’m sad just let me be sad.

[lost-ang3l]

𝒟ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝓀𝓃ℴ𝓌 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓉ℴ 𝒹ℴ 𝓃ℴ𝓌

[shatteredmv21]

Please. Reach out to me

Show me that you miss me

Show me that you’re interested in me

Reciprocate

[shatteredmv21]

[shatteredmv21]

I choose me

[shatteredmv21]

I’ve recently turned 22, and after reflecting on my teenage years, I feel so behind compared to my peers. Which is how I’ve always felt. Because of my parents I didn’t really get a chance to ‘develop’, so I missed a lot of milestones. I didn’t really start going through those milestones until I was 20. And I didn’t have someone to hold my hand either and felt so alone. I feel like I haven’t started catching up on things until very recently which is rather embarrassing if you think about it. LOL what’s wrong with me nbdjwidghdjdbeeb sxvvxebevstdshshegydsgdhehedg

I tried explaining this to someone and they said that most 20 year olds are ‘immature’. But I was trying to find the words for it. It’s not that I was immature because of lack of knowledge and experience, I was immature in the development of myself and identity. Like I have no hobbies, lack clear goals, no strong friendships or community, no strong emotional connections, and just all around no sense of self. Coupled with my parents never teaching me how to take care of myself and threatening abandonment if I try to go out on my own. Right now I feel like I’m at a place I was supposed to be at 18 and I’m 22 💀

Am I cooked? 😭

[shatteredmv21]

Don’t get upset when a person talks bad about you. They have to talk about you. Cause when they talk about themselves nobody listens.

[shatteredmv21]

The problem is you want it now. But it takes small steps to get there.

[shatteredmv21]

I deserve a life where i wake up and don’t owe anyone an explanation just for existing the way i want to.

[shatteredmv21]

[shatteredmv21]

4 days clean from Instagram

[shatteredmv21]

It’s fucking exhausting being me. If I could get a surgery to remove a part of my brain, I’d do it. Even if it meant losing a part of who I am…