That's Just Your Luck

Does anyone even read these? I'm Roxy. I just moved to Cali and am currently just trying to find a different perspective on everything.

[shatteredsense]

The Violet Diaries: Page 10

      Fuck. I'm so confused. I don't know what happened. Everything went wrong. Absolutely everything! I, I don't even know what to think. Addie died on Halloween. Constance dragged me to her house, yelling about how Addie went to show me her "pretty girl" costume and got hit by a car. I feel like shit. I feel like it's my fault, but I had no clue she was coming over. That's just how it’s always been, and just when it felt like my head was already spinning, shit just got more confusing. Constance told me that Tate is her son. Tate is her fucking son, and he never even bothered to tell me. All those times he told me about how his mother was a bitch and didn’t care about him, and she’s been living right goddamn next to me.

   No wonder Addie knew so much about him. That's her brother. Poor, Addie. She didn't deserve that- nobody does. Constance just made me feel even worse about it. I can tell that it wasn't her intention; she was breaking down and had to let some feelings out. She told me that when a parent dies, a child feels its own mortality, but when a child dies, it's immortality that a parent loses- immortality that has left with Addie. I kept telling her how sorry I was, how I would never try to hurt Addie, but she just replied that she knew I was trying to be kind.  Unlike me, she knows it’s not my fault. As if that wasn't enough to take in, she made me promise not to tell Tate about Addie’s death. How do you not tell someone that their own sibling has died? How the hell am I supposed to keep that a secret? She said that he's too sensitive, that he doesn't have the steel that protects one against the “horrors of this world”. She said that I'm lucky to possess it, and that he probably craves my strength and is "taken with me" because of that. I don't know how I could possibly ever face him again. So much happened on Halloween, and I don't really know how to piece it all together.

[shatteredsense]

The Violet Diaries: Page 9

The day that Tate stops wanting to meet in our dark, dank basement will be a goddamn miracle. I get that my dad would freak out if he saw him in the house, but you know, we could always meet anywhere else but in this shithole. At least I know tomorrow will be different. He asked me out. My first date, and it’s on Halloween of course. Should I be surprised?

He kissed me, too.  Well, before this starts sounding really lame let me just point out how he decided to be a complete asshole and try to scare the shit out of me first! He was wearing that weird, kinky rubber suit shit that I could have sworn my dad threw out weeks ago. I didn’t even know it was him; he had some mask on.  After what my mom and I went through weeks ago with the home invasion, I thought it was those assholes trying to get me again, but no, it was just Tate deciding that this was the best possible way to flirt with a girl. Worst part is I think it worked…..

[shatteredsense]

There's Something

Really weird about the library. Of course I remember Craig telling me about what happened there in '94, but there's still a certain presence that lingers there. I just don't understand how no one else in the school could notice. People go about like it's completely normal how thick the air feels, how you can feel the tension, maybe even sadness.

  I ditched class today just so I could get some quiet time away from the morons I’m forced to share a classroom with. The library was completely empty except for this one librarian that is always there, and he never looks happy. I guess no one really does. I was trying to read some more of Violet's passages in her diary, but it felt like someone was behind me, watching me. I could hear footsteps near the bookcases, but there was no one around. I'm not really sure what's going on. I'd say it was haunted, but it's not like I’d know the answer for sure AND it's not like that would intimidate me anyway. Speaking of intimidating, I haven't gone back to the Murder House in a while. The murder house. God, what a name.  It'll be weird going back now that I know more about it, but it'll probably be very smart too if I want to figure out the secret of the house itself. For now, the only thing that can help me is what Violet left behind, whether it was meant for me or not.

[shatteredsense]

The Violet Diaries: Page 8

I swear, if Addie keeps breaking into the house my dad is gonna freak the fuck out. Then again, I really wouldn’t mind seeing him pissed off, just not at Addie. She’s really sweet- definitely unpredictable. We didn’t have neighbors like that in Boston. It was pretty quiet and calm, I guess.  We wouldn’t have a fancy alarm system like we do now.    She scared the shit out of me today though. She was hiding under my bed and just jumped out saying how she wanted me to make her a “pretty girl”. I wish she knew that she already is, but I also knew that it meant a lot to her for me to sit there and pamper her. Apparently, she knows Tate- which I had no clue about. She thought he was my boyfriend, but at this point I’m not even sure what he is. He’s my friend? A friend that just so happens to sneak into my house all the time….. Well, look at that! Addie and Tate have that in common.

Before Addie left, she told me that he wanted to meet me in the basement at midnight. How romantic. Is that a line that all boys use? He’s lucky I like him.

    The last time I saw him was a few days after that home invasion bullshit. He saw me smoking outside in the yard, and of course that happened to be the moment my dad wanted to talk. He thinks I’m traumatized about what happened to us.  I really don’t care. My mom and I kicked some ass; we’re survivors. Meanwhile, my dad acts like some scared, little boy trying to run from all of his problems (or fuck them). That actually may have been too harsh… I shouldn’t even feel bad for him! Tate thinks differently. He says that my dad’s great, and that I’m lucky because he cares. It really makes me wonder what terrible memories he has of his dad since he considers MINE to be dad of the year. I guess I could ask him tonight, in the creepy smelly basement. Fun.

[shatteredsense]

The Violet Diaries: Page 7

Honestly, is my dad good for anything? Why the fuck does my mom even try so hard to keep their marriage together? The sex can't be that great. Oh, but wait, that's right. She's pregnant again. See, I already know that, but she didn't even bother to tell me.

   I'm not mad at her though, not after what we just went through. I gotta say, my mom kicked some ass. I used to think she was weak, but maybe surviving home invasions are more of her forte. Yeah, I haven't mentioned that yet have I?  Somehow these three assholes got inside of our house and decided it was our lucky day, that we were chosen as the lead players of some creepy ritual shit they had planned- the final act consisting of us being dead.

  Things got so intense and crazy; I really thought they were gonna kill us. Somehow, I got away from one of the people and ran towards the kitchen when Tate grabbed me out of nowhere. How he got in I don't know, but it doesn't really matter to me anyway. He saved me. He told me to get them to the basement, and that's what I did. He just took care of the rest. It’s not like I was gonna stick around to see what he did. I just ran upstairs to get my mom and get the fuck out of there.

   When my dad got back from his trip to Boston, we had to answer a shitload of questions from some cops. Luckily he didn't drag Tate into any of that, but he really has some fucking nerve. He's still trying to convince me that Tate is dangerous and that I should be scared of him, when in reality, the only reason I’m still here is because of Tate. I feel safe with him. Where was my dad, huh? Nowhere to be found. He should just move back to Boston and take his bullshit with him.

[shatteredsense]

The Violet Diaries: Page 5

I messed up. I messed up so badly. I don’t even know where to begin other than Leah hates me, probably even more than before, and Tate is a fucking psycho. What did I get myself into?! I should have never let Leah go into that basement. Something attacked her. It felt like one second I was guiding her downstairs, all part of this so-called harmless prank, and the next second Tate is fucking pushing her to the ground.

He’s crazy. He just kept standing there laughing at her, and this fucking thing, this thing I can’t even describe just comes out of nowhere. It cut Leah, and she ran out of my house crying with blood on her face. I didn’t realize that was part of the plan! I don’t know what to do. Sure Leah was a bitch, but I didn’t want to hurt her! I just wanted to scare the shit out of her, and now I’m sure she’ll be scarred for life-in more ways than one.

It makes complete sense why Tate is seeing my dad. He’s insane, and I never want to see him again. How could he get me involved in this? There’s nothing really left for me to do. I can’t just keep stressing tonight. I need to go to sleep.

[shatteredsense]

The Violet Diaries: Page 4

Ugh, I hate her! Who the hell does she think she is?! I’m not afraid of her, and I don’t plan on putting up with her bullshit. As if my day wasn’t fucked up enough,( i actually caught my dad putting the moves on our old maid), Leah and her two minions thought they could just jump me in school. I’ve clearly made quite the impression there. Does Leah really think that she can just harass me and get away with it? Think again, asshole.

I snuck Tate in tonight, and I told him everything. He said he’ll help me out. According to him, the best thing to do is scare the shit out of her. It’ll be a public service to Westfield ‘cause she’ll learn her fucking lesson.

I don’t know what Tate has planned exactly. He just told me to get her to my house and he’d handle the rest. It’s almost too easy. All I have to do is tell her that I have drugs and that she can get her free fix at my house. What an idiot. I know she’ll fall for it so hard.

[shatteredsense]

So, It Wasn't A Burglar

At my window last night. It was Craig, and he looked really worried, and even though I've only known him for short amount of time, this was not a look I was used to. He said that he had kept something a secret from me, and not because he felt like being an ass, but because he didn't want to hurt someone else's feelings, that someone being Leah.

  The girl that harassed Violet, the girl who tried to make her life a living hell, that girl was Leah. She was there through everything, according to Craig. They eventually became friends, and Violet would go to the skate park to talk. The skate park that I go to, she went there too. Leah barely spoke to anyone for a long time after Violet disappeared. She would say maybe a few words here and there with Craig, but she talked to me. Maybe she saw a little bit of Violet in me and felt like she had her old friend back? I don't know. It's not like I could ask her. She hates me now for bringing her to the house. It makes sense. Who wants to be brought to the house of someone they used to know, someone who disappeared without a trace? Since I don't think Leah will be giving me answers anytime soon, the only solution is the journal and to keep on reading it.

[shatteredsense]

The Violet Diaries: Page 2

First day of school was complete bullshit. No surprise there. It only took me a day to see how fake everyone is at Westfield. The first group of people I saw we’re some girls talking about how coked up they got at some party where they slept with the whole senior class. It gets worse. That asshole, Leah I think her name was, tried to get me to eat my cigarette because I “shouldn’t have been smoking outside”. What does it even matter to you? What the hell is wrong with the people here?

Oh, but there’s more! This rant isn’t over yet. We just moved here, and my dad already had a patient in the house. First of all, I’m not even sure why he thinks it’s a smart idea to let his patients into our house. It’s like he’s just trying to constantly prove how much of an idiot he is. He had some Kurt Cobain wannabe show up at our house, and then the fucker had the nerve to not only walk in on me in the bathroom (cutting myself ,which I really shouldn’t do anymore), but then say that I’m “doing it wrong”! Well maybe I wasn’t trying to kill myself, asshole. At least I don’t think I was.

[shatteredsense]

The Violet Diaries: Page 1

“Aww thanks! You’re the best, Dad- a new journal for this lovely, new town that we’re moving to. You’re so considerate!”

Was that what he wanted to hear? ‘Cause maybe if he really was considerate we wouldn’t be forced to move in the first place. Not that I’d ever award him Dad of the year, but really? Aren’t psychiatrists supposed to know how to solve your problems and not just create more? I can’t even tell if I’m more pissed off at my dad or my mom. Why the hell did she stay with him? He cheated. You’re supposed to kick his slimy ass to the curb, not allow him to stay and promise you whatever bullshit he can come up with.

 "Honey, I swear we can start again. I’ll be better, I promise. We can move to California, far from everything".

Yeah, far from Hayden. That’s right, I know all about her. Wife has a miscarriage; pathetic husband decides to sleep with one of his desperate students instead of helping his grieving wife. Fuck, can we get any more like some clich&eacute shitty soap opera?

It’s time to see the house. Can’t wait to see what this hell hole will look like.

[shatteredsense]

Sleeping Is For The

Normal people in the world. Clearly, I am not normal.  Ugh, I don't think anyone understands how frustrating it can be to lie in bed, looking around in the dark just waiting to fall asleep and not having that happen for hours. It makes me want to throw a tantrum like I’m four years old again. I even resorted to taking a walk around the neighborhood thinking that it would help. Of course it didn't. Although, I did find out something new. I was doing my usual "stalking the murder house" routine when I saw that there were a few lights on in the house. I figured it was that realtor lady, but then I saw a few lights go off and others go on upstairs. There were two cars in the driveway, and the “for sale” sign was gone. Someone actually moved into the murder house! Shit! Well, if I thought that I seemed creepy lurking around an abandoned house, it ought to look worse now that a family has actually moved in! They have no idea what that house is hiding. Then again, I don't know the full story yet either.

[shatteredsense]

The Violet Diaries: Page 6

  There's this really awesome skate park near my house. It used to be an abandoned pool until the skaters took over and completely redecorated the place. There are Christmas lights all over and tattered, vintage lamps. This was where Leah wanted to meet. She wanted to tell me what she saw that night. I'm just surprised she wanted to talk to me at all.

   I almost didn't recognize her. She had this big, purple hat on and was smoking. Too ironic, but once the smoke cleared I got a better look at her face and the bandage covering her whole cheek.

    "What attacked me wasn't human."

She said the cuts were deep. She kept rambling about the mouth she saw. I didn't want to admit it to her, but I saw it too. I tried to convince her that Tate was just trying to terrify her and found some creepy mask to use, but she didn't care. She insisted that what she saw was beyond what anyone could imagine. She got really serious for a moment, and asked

"Do you believe in the devil?"

I said no.

I could see the color leaving her face, "I do. I've looked into his eyes."

[shatteredsense]

Song Of The Day: Promise and the Monster- Spine

[shatteredsense]

Not What I Was Expecting

   But it does help explain things. Leah hadn’t told me anything about, Violet, hell, she never even brought her up. In a way, I think she might have. She did say I reminded her of someone, but how was I supposed to guess she was talking about Violet?

   Something happened to her in that basement, something so bad that the mere sight of the house scared her. She’s completely disappeared. I’ve seen her at the skate park a few times, but then she just leaves when she sees me there. I want to tell her I’m sorry; I want to tell her what I know. I want to tell her everything I’ve been doing- my obsession with the Murder House. The thing is, how do I explain to her that I broke in to the very own house that she’s afraid of and stole her old friend’s diary because it just so happened to still be in there a year later? Maybe I shouldn’t say anything at all, or maybe I just need to take a walk and clear my mind.

[shatteredsense]

Song Of The Day: Mona- Trouble On The Way

"Oooh, we got it all. There's trouble on the way."

[shatteredsense]

A Glimpse

When I was younger, I think I was too curious for my own good (some might say I'm still the same way). I remember reading a girl's journal and not caring that those were her private thoughts and memories; I just kept reading because I wanted to know what she really thought and felt. It's not the same case with Violet's journal. The more I read, the guiltier I feel. I don't know how I can help her or if she even needs my help at all!

 I can't lie though. It was kind of nice to see that she hated Westfield just as much as I do. My parents thought I was just exaggerating, but little do they know the hell they're forcing me to endure- the hell that Violet had to endure too. It seems like her dad didn’t really give a shit about her either, like that Tate kid was the only person she could really talk to around here. Then of course, in a perfect turn of events, she's not even allowed to see him anymore! Such bullshit!

  Anyway... there's someone throwing rocks at my window right now. What the fuck. I could have sworn that type of shit only happened in movies.....

[shatteredsense]

The Violet Diaries: Page 3

His name is Tate. I guess I was wrong about him. He’s not lame; he’s kind of like me actually. He had a session today, and I couldn’t help but try to see what was going on, what he was saying to my dad. I just wanted to know why he was there. I tried to get him to tell me why, but all he said was “Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to. You’re smarter than that.”

He told me about how he went to Westfield, too and how he got kicked out of there. I don’t see him really fitting in with their designer bullshit anyway.

I talked to him about how I cut myself, which isn’t really the greatest conversation starter, but he’s the one who brought it up. His first cut was when he was ten when his asshole dad walked out on him and his family. I don’t know what it is about him, but I just felt like telling him everything- probably too much. I mean, I even told him how my dad cheated on my mom after her brutal miscarriage. You know what his response was to me?

    “If you love someone, you should never hurt them. Never.”

He gets me; it’s weird. I guess he’s my first friend here. It’s not like I care about making friends in this bullshit town anyway, but he seems like he’s, I don’t know, actually interested in talking to me. He held my wrist.

    “I’m sorry”

He touched my scars, and said he was sorry. It had nothing to do with him yet his apology felt more genuine than anything my dad has ever said. He just stared into my eyes like he could feel my pain and just as I was trying to think of something witty to say, my dad barges into my room telling me that Tate has to leave. He kicks him out of my own room! Maybe he was just angry that someone around this house was actually capable of being a decent human being. Apparently, I’m not allowed to see Tate anymore, but his word never meant much to me anyway.