My Metal Gear Solid Story
So, this is a little bit of a sad story, a bit long, a little drawn out, but it's exactly the way I want it to be. There are a few spoilers to the Metal Gear Solid franchise in this post, so read it at your own caution. And a spoiler into my life, and why I am the way that I am. So, when I was young boy, my father took me into the city to see a Marching Band. Just kidding, my dad came home one day with a couple of games for my brother and I. We had just gotten a Playstation 1, and we still had our SNES, and he brought home a Mickey Mouse game for me (which honestly was really rad, I want to find it again) and a copy of Metal Gear Solid for my brother. Obviously, seeing as 3D graphics were the new thing, I was way more intrigued about the new game that he had gotten, and the fact that it had fully voiced cut scenes, animation, and so many more amazing things. However, I was way too young to understand the plot and storyline behind the game, so I just watched him and enjoyed what I had seen. However, it wasn't watching my brother play that was impressive, it was watching my cousin Jeff play through the game like he had a strategy guide on the back of his hand. He was so good at the game, he knew where to find every little secret in the game, how to unlock the stealth camouflage, how to get the infinite ammo bandana, how not to fail at Revolver Ocelot's torture chamber, everything. I started to associate the main character, Solid Snake, with him. I would always associate the way that Snake moved, talked, acted reminded me of Jeff, and it was a really neat way to personify a character with a real life role model. However, on February 5th, 2010, my cousin Jeff took his own life. To this day, we still aren't too sure exactly what caused him to do so, but we were all devastated. We had lost a cousin, a brother, a friend. I wanted to find out a way to properly memorialize him, and I wasn't too sure exactly how I could do so. I still honestly haven't thought of the best way to do so, but about 3 years back, I wanted to embark on my own personal Metal Gear Solid journey, where I was going to plan on playing through every one one of the games, with the memory of Jeff in my mind. After completing the first couple games in the chronological timeline, I had finally gotten to the moment that I was honestly dreading a little bit: Metal Gear Solid on the Playstation One. I had never played through it before, besides watching my brother and cousin play through it when I was younger, so I was not ready for the memories to begin flooding back in. While I was playing, that is exactly what they did, but in the best of ways. I remembered where he would get the secret items, the best weapons, and how to properly beat Revolver Ocelot's torture chamber, and every little thing in between. It was a bit of a surreal experience, but I really loved every second of it. It also had brought some great memories of time that I had spent with my brother and cousin when I was younger, as well as seeing that characterization of Jeff on the screen as Snake was a great thing to help with my grief. However, that enjoyment turned back into sorrow by the time that I had gotten to the end of the final game in the chronological timeline, Metal Gear Solid 4. In this iteration, you play as "Old Snake", Solid Snake who is finally starting to feel and look the way that he should after the effects of FoxDie are taking over his system. After saving the world from Nuclear Devastation again, you are treated to what the Guinness Book of World Records as the longest cutscene in a video game. You get to see how everyone's life has turned out since the largest threat to complete world domination has been taken control of, how Meryl and Johnny are happily married, how Otacon and Sunny are happy together, and how Snake wants to take his own life. Wait, I thought this was going to be a happy ending? I thought that things were going to turn out okay for our hero? Well, they do, technically, but what happens before that point is what drove me to the point of absolute hysterics. After seeing Snake contemplate his life, and decide that he wants to take his own life, watching him drop to his knees and put a loaded pistol in his mouth was bad enough, but hearing the clack of his teeth as he clamps them down onto the barrel of the pistol drove me absolutely insane. After a camera pan up towards the sky, you hear the familiar, final blast of a bullet escaping the chamber, and into the skull of the hero. To say I was in tears was an absolute understatement, as I was in almost hysterics from this whole debacle. Not only losing my cousin to suicide, watching a character that I had associated with him do the same was weirdly devastating, as well. However, things do get a little bit better in the end, as you learn that Snake did not commit suicide, but it was still a horrific episode for me, but in the end, made me appreciate the vision that I was given through this journey. It felt a lot like I was replaying these games with someone who is no longer here, and it was really a great feeling, even through the ending of the final chapter. Every February since 2012, I have made it a goal to play through Metal Gear Solid on the Playstation in memory of Jeff, and it helps me cope, even to this day. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes, you need a little bit of a distraction to help you cope on the days that you miss someone the most. I am so thankful to him that he had introduced me to such a wonderful series, and I am glad that I have something to remember him by, all of these years later. The best is yet to come, Jeff.
