Bad boy, good lips - part 17
I’M BACK GUYS! First of all I just want to thank those of you who have been patiently waiting for me to keep writing. I’ve been very busy in the past couple of months (I SAW ONE DIRECTION LIVE JUNE 19TH IN OSLO AND IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE OMG) but I have to admit I have missed this a lot. The whole writing-thing. And if any of you still want me to continue I will, and I will try to do it more often. Again, thank you for staying - I really appreciatie it. Here is part 17, I hope you like it!
“Can we locate where we went wrong?”
PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7 PART 8 PART 9 PART 10 PART 11 PART 12 PART 13 PART 14 PART 15 PART 16 MASTERLIST
Jack let go of my hand and turned around to face the girl behind us. “Leigh,” he breathed and I could see his fists tighten and his jaw clench. I let my fingertips brush gently over his fist and he seemed to be more relaxed with my touch. He clearly had something against her. “So, is it okay if I take over?” she asked him, raising her eyebrow. “Oh, I am actually dancing with (Y/N) righ-” he started but I cut him off before he got to finish the sentence. “It’s okay,” I assured her with a friendly smile on my lips as her eyes met mine. “Thanks,” she said and turned to face Gilinsky again. Jack looked at me and I gave him a nod and a weak smile as I left into the crowd.
(Y/N) disappeared in the crowded room and I felt an ache in my chest. I shouldn’t have done that, but what could I do? (Y/N) basically made me dance with her. I wanted to dance with (Y/N) though, only her. She was my date and the only girl I had eyes for. If Leigh even thought about me and her again she was wrong. I had (Y/N) and I wouldn’t risk her for the world. Before I got to think about it any longer, Leigh took my hand and pulled me towards her. As she started moving to the music she looked at me. “I’ve missed you,” she smiled. Leigh is my ex-girlfriend. We had this thing for about a year and I was absolutely heartbroken after she left. I did not love Leigh in the way I loved (Y/N), but I cared about her enough to feel heartbroken and betrayed when she left me for New York. And what better time is there for her to come back than when I’d gotten her off my mind and when I was genuinely happy? Her arms snuck around my neck and I placed my hands around her waist.
“Don’t you miss me?” she asked when she noticed I hadn’t told her I missed her too. “Um, yeah,” I answered - not sure wether I was lying or not. Sure, things had been hot and heavy between Leigh and I, but we did not have the same passion as (Y/N) and I. And I loved (Y/N), only her. “Are you happy I’m back?” she asked. I let her question slip by and raised an eyebrow. “Are you back for good?” I breathed. “Not for good, I’ll take the last year of high school here, then I don’t know where I’ll go,” she shrugged. What? No, no, no. This would not make things easy for anyone. This would definitely make things intense between Sam and I and Leigh would definitely mess things up with (Y/N). “Oh,” I answered. “Aren’t you glad? We could hook up again, I know you love how rough I am,” she smirked and traced her fingertips over my chest. It had been a while since I had sex. (Y/N) and I hadn’t gone the whole way yet. The furthest we had gone together sexually was her touching my crotch over the jeans I was wearing. (Y/N) took losing her virginity very seriously and I admired her for that - but I had my needs too. Every time I was trying to talk to her about this theme, she rejected me. But I wouldn’t do anything stupid, hurting her once was the worst thing I had ever done and I would not do that to her or myself again. (Y/N) was good for me. She helped me function, she helped me sleep at night. I coudn’t remember the last time I slept alone, and I didn’t want to remember either. So if going slow was what it took to stay with her, I would do it.
“I have a girlfriend, Leigh,” I said sternly. “Who, her?” Leigh giggled and pointed towards (Y/N). “Yes,” I answer. “Isn’t she a little too innocent for you?” she smirked. “She’s perfect,” I answered. “Look at you, loverboy. Who thought Jack Gilinsky would be all sweet and lovey dovey over a girl?” she teases. “I’m not sweet,” I sad through gritted teeth. Sure I could be happy and opened up around (Y/N). I could be romantic but I was not sweet. “Prove it,” she smirked and before I managed to do anything she kissed me. Her hand found it’s way down to my crotch. What a snake. And the second I realize something is wrong, I felt something grow in my pants, and worse was that I was on my way to actually kiss her back.
My eyes were focused on Jack and the girl as I sat by a table, watching her every move on my boy. Who was she and why the hell was she smiling and giggling like that? Jealousy bubbled in my veins and I pressed my lips together as I watched her slide her skinny arms around his neck. His strong arms found their way to her waist and I kept thinking that it was supposed to be me. She was perfect looking though. Her long, blonde hair was perfectly curned down her back. The dress she was wearing showed her every curve. Her face looked like porcelain and her legs were long and skinny. She was everything I was not, and I kind of wished I looked like her. She looked like a goddess standing there in front of my boy. Both of them were what people would call “goals” and I could easily see them together - the thought of them together made my heart sink in my chest.
Sam showed up and sat down beside me. “Good evening beautiful,” he smiled and I turned my head around so my eyes met his. A smile appeared on my lips, I really had missed him. “Good evening handsome,” I said and put my arms around him. “I’ve missed you,” I whispered into his shoulder. My eyes started watering up as he hugged tighter. “I’ve missed you too,” he mumbeled as he kissed the top of my head softly. “Sam?” I asked and looked up at him. His dark eyes shone like stars, he was beautiful. “Nothing has changed between us, right?” I asked him and he shook his head no. “No, you’re still my best friend,” he smiled and I pecked his cheek softly. “Where’s Gilinsky?” he asked as I let go. His arm was still around me. “Oh, he’s dancing with some girl he knew from before,” I shrugged and pointed towards them. He looked over and her eyes widened, almost like he recognized the girl from somewhere. The look in his eyes suddenly changed and I could see his jaw clench. “Leigh,” he mumbled through gritted teeth. “Who is she?” curiosity and jealousy took over my voice. Both Sam and Jack had some connection with her, and to be honest it was kind of bothering me. “She’s an old... friend,” he told me and by the way he used the word ‘friend’ I knew that something intense was going on. “(Y/N), you should keep an eye on your man. You don’t know the things that snake is capable of doing,” he almost hissed and when I glanced over at the girl and Jack I was suprised to see her with her tounge down his throat. He pushed her away and a relief spread in my chest. “What is wrong with you? I have a girlfriend!” I could hear him shout as he turned around and started walking towards me. His eyes were impossible to read, but they were darker than they had been when I was dancing with him earlier. Were they filled with lust or anger? I couldn’t tell, but this sure didn’t seem like something Jack was happy about.
When he got to our table he took my hand in his and I stood up. “What the heck are you doing with your arms around my girl?” he growled at Sam. “I was just catching up with her. She’s one of my best friends you know,” Sam answered quietly. “Well that doesn’t give you the fucking right to cuddle up to her like that!” he shouted. “Jack, you need to calm down. Sam is my best friend. I am allowed to hug him too, you know,” I told him. His eyes met mine and every single emotion flashed in his eyes. “We are leaving, Bambi,” he growled. “Wait!” I heard the voice of the girl who just had her tounge down my boyfriend’s throat and it pushed me over the edge. “My god, will you leave him alone?” I shouted at her. “Both of them, please. They seem to have something against you, so please find something better to do. Jack is my boyfriend and that does not give you the right to push your tounge down his throat!” I shouted, all I earned in return was a smirk. “The only thing they have against me is the fact that they’re both still in love with me and I’m sure your boyfriend enjoyed me kissing him quite a lot. His crotch sure did,” she said, hinting to the bulge in Jack’s pants. “I mean, I just touched it and before I knew it it was there and he was kissing me back,” she shrugged. I didn’t know what to say or do, my eyes found their way to his face and he was staring at the ground. Nausea took over and I didn’t know what felt the worst - that the two most important boys in my life were in love with another girl or the fact that Jack was really turned on by her. Had I ever turned him on like this? “In love with you?” I asked, my voice shaky. She sat down and I did the same. I was not leaving until I had some information about all of this. “Didn’t you know? Both Sam and Jack were madly in love with me a year ago. They fought constantly about who I belonged to..” she started and I was absolutely speechless. “But I got tired of all the drama with them, so I left and both of them were devastastated when I left,” she continued and I could feel the air around all of us thicken. “I’m sure they both still like me,” she grinned. “Is this true?” I said, my voice shaky as I looked at both the guys in front of me. Sam didn’t say anything but Jack broke in. “I can explain,” he mumbled. I felt... betrayed. All that had happened between Sam, Jack and Leigh sounded just like what happened with me and the boys - was it history repeating itself? Because I surely did not want to be something just to get both of them to think of something else than her. If that was what both of them thought of me I’d rather leave. “Do you still like her? Would you like to sleep with her? And am I just something for you to think of anything else but her?” the questions fell out of my mouth just like a waterfall as tears showed up in the corners of my eyes. His silence was taken as a yes and I just shook my head. “You’re unbelievable,” I sighed and started walking towards the enterance - I was not staying a second longer.
“Bambi!” Jack shouted repeatly after me but I kept ignoring him - I didn’t want this anymore. All Jack did was hurting me, and all I wanted was a healthy, relaxed relationship. What was between us was the exact opposite. When there was nothing but silence I was sure he had given up. A sigh escaped my lips, I wasn’t quite sure what I was expecting. Him running after me or that he just stayed inside with her? The air was cold and snow flakes fell down on my bare shoulders. As soon as they met my skin they turned into drops of water, it was all so quiet and beautiful. I just wished my day had went by like that. A hand suddenly touched my wrist and I stopped walking. Warmth spread around in my body by the touch of his hand, Gilinsky. “I can explain,” Jack breathed. “What is there to explain? You clearly want her,” I shrugged, tears streaming down my face. “That’s the thing (Y/N), I don’t want her. I want you!” he said, taking my hand in his and intertwining our fingers. “I heard what she said, the whole you being in love with her thing. I thought you said you’d never been in a relationship before!” I shouted and pulled my hand away. “I haven’t. I was only in love with Leigh, we never became anything. She liked swerving between Sam and I and I have no idea about how I didn’t realize that at the time,” he explained. “Do you have feelings for her?” I asked, my voice was burning with curiosity and my eyes with sadness and anger. He didn’t say anything at first and I felt my heart sink. Jack inhaled a deep breath of the ice cold air. “There is some unsolved feelings between us,” he nodded. “Do you love her?” I asked and looked him straight in the eye. My body was shaking, both because I was cold and because I was angy, sad and hurt. Please don’t tell me this is not just a game to you.
“I don’t love her,” he answered. “Do you love me?” I asked and I was honestly scared of what was going to be his answer. “More than anything,” he said and I felt relief spread in my chest. “You love me, but you want her?” I asked. “I don’t want her, I only want you!” he shouted. “Then how do you explain that?” I murmured, hinting to the bulge in his pants - suprised it was still there. A cough escaped his lips and he looked at me, cheeks red as cherries. “I don’t know. I’m a soon to be 18 year old who hasn’t been laid in months. I have my needs and this thing is sort of uncontrollable. So when a girl touches me there I can’t help it. It would’ve happened no matter who the girl was,” he explained. “Well, that helps alot,” I rolled my eyes at him. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just telling you that I can’t control myself at all times. I want you though,” he said. “Well, you coul’ve just told me...” I half-whispered. “That’s the thing, (Y/N)! I have told you, several times. But you just keep pushing the subject away!” he almost snapped. “You know how I feel about losing my virginity. I want it to be special. I want it to be with someone I love and someone I know loves me back. Someone who won’t leave,” I say. “You don’t love me?” he asked with a trembling voice. “Of course I love you,” I said and cupped his face with my hands. “I love you more than anything,” I whispered. “Then what’s the problem? Because you know I love you,” he raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure that we’ll stay together. You know, one of us always end up hurt and what if it’s enough one day? That we can’t take it anymore? I want to be in a relationship where I know I won’t get hurt and be left alone before I’m doing this,” I tell him and the look in his eyes had changed. “Don’t you say that,” he quickly responded. “I’m just saying that we don’t know where we are standing in a year from now. We both go to college, maybe not even the same one. We don’t know what the future brings,” I explained. “Please stop,” he begged. “What?” I asked, raising my eyebrow. “Please just don’t talk about the future,” he whispered. I just nodded. “I’m sorry (Y/N),” he whispered and you could hear the crack in his voice. “Me too, I shoud’ve been more open to suggestions. Let’s make a deal. I’ll be more open minded about exploring each other’s body and when I’m not comfortable you will not push me to do it,” I tell him and and he frowned at me. “I woudn’t push you into doing anything you are not comfortable doing baby,” he whispered and my skin heated by his words. “You know that, right?” he asked and lifted my chin up with his index finger. I nodded in response and he smiled. “Good.”
We just stood in silence for a while, looking at each other before Jack spoke. “So are we good?” “Yes,” I replied and the smile on his lips grew significantly. “You know, we never got to finish our dance inside..” he smirked at me. “Oh, I’m not going in there again...” I sighed and a chuckle escaped his lips. “Alright then. We could just take it here?” he suggested. “What?” “Dance with me,” he whispered and his words were automatically on repeat inside my head. A smile pushed the corners of my mouth upwards and I put my arms around his neck. His hands found their way to my waist and he pulled me closer to him. My chin rested on his shoulder and he placed his lips by my ear. The warm breath of his was tickling my earlobe and the smile on my lips grew noticeably. He hummed the melody on ‘I wont give up’ by Jason Mraz into my ear as we swayed from side to side. “I won’t hurt you again, I promise,” he whispered as the song ended. “Don’t promise something you can’t keep, honey,” I winked and earned a chuckle. “I really do love you,” he smiled and pulled me into his warm embrace. My head rested on his chest and a sigh left my mouth. “You make me miserable, Jack Gilinsky. But I love you too, and I wouldn’t change this for the world.” I couldn’t see his face but I was one hundred precent sure he was smiling, his warm breath stroke against the hairs on top of my head. Although we fought half the time we were together and he always made me cry, he also made me the happiest I had been in forever. The feelings he gave me was unlike the feelings anybody had ever made me get and I knew by now that I really did love him. “You are the best thing that’s ever been mine,” he quiety whispered into the silent night.
Okay so this is it. I really hope you liked it. Um, five notes then I’ll post the next part? Anyways I am open for suggestions and if you want go follow me on Wattpad! (ac: literallypayne) Thank you once again for staying and reading and yeah - I love y’all. xx
