Sleepy headachey middle of the night thoughts so can't words well but thinking about
Something something yeah cat king is helping Edwin open to love and sexuality open expression and exploration
[Side note: recently heard in a vid Brennan Lee Mulligan say something like "people are like gems and their relationships reflect different facets of them" Hell yeah perfectly said and it's why I love all character interactions]
And yeah my brain kinda zooming out that to a general theme with Edwin in relating to from my most-likely-autistic and/or idk black-and-white thinking, strict routine, controlled environment, limited outside experience or enrichment or trying new things etc things i struggle with
Thinking about how ck is one of multiple changing Edwin's ways (like Crystal as catalyst, Niko as gentle making space for his discoveries etc) and ck really inviting Edwin to the New Experiences, Curiosity, Passion etc of it all which includes romance and sex but also just like. Stopping work early tonight to go out to a dance on the town, guilt-free etc
And me thinking in my own pov how anxiety-inducing it sounds to break routine and risk others seeing incompetence in new experiences like Edwin might as well
How it should be fun but can feel like falling off a cliff. But he craves something more. And cat king is inviting him to fly with it
Something something it's good for him but can be uncomfortable (because of his own hangups), and ck is having fun opening him up like a puzzle box
Like what would it mean to throw caution to the wind and really embrace life? Claw what moments of joy you can from it, if you let yourself?
I feel like that's a lot of what the dynamic of ck entering edwin's life brings
Can you let some of the rigid structures you built fall away without falling apart? If you let your walls soften, will you be safe?
Can you trust this guy to teach you how to leave your comfort zone without stranding you there?
And that's kind of the natural conflict of Edwin's relationship with Charles vs his relationship with Cat King in my opinion. Not that either relationship is bad for him but that there are parts to each supporting him in different zones he's in.
Like Charles loves/accepts/supports Edwin where he is and is happy to live with him in his comfort zone, though he does nudge for growth (boxing scene). That's the pattern Edwin's had with him all these years and that's how they both maintain a stable home together thus far. And it's probably one of those things where Edwin hasn't thought or felt the need to change much beyond that.
But ck comes in as a new person outside the pattern and beckons him out of the comfort zone more directly without stepping in too soon if that makes sense? Cylfyidit idk if this coming out the way I want it to
But like yeah neither is wrong just kinda the timing and different needs at the time
So it prompts a sort of growth in Edwin that challenges him and he's pursuing it with some trepidation but also excitement i think
And idk I feel like maybe this is also partially how some fans interpret ck negatively cuz he is bringing a sort of discomfort to Edwin imo but it's not to me a really intrusive sort, more of a growth out of comfort zone sort
Another sort of Call to Adventure that Edwin wants to take, even if he's hesitant about it
