The Very Basics of Not Killing Your Computer
If you have a laptop DO NOT use it on a soft surface like a pillow or on a blanket, itāll block the vents on your computer and make it get really fucking hot inside.
If you have a desktop you gotta open it up and blow out the dust sometimes.
If you are moving your laptop in a bag turn the laptop off. Donāt put it to sleep, donāt just shut the screen, turn it off, because otherwise itās in the bag generating heat and thereās nowhere for the heat to go in the bag. OFF. Not sleep. OFF.
Okay I know that should be obvious but drop damage to your hard drive is bad bad news. Be as careful as you can to set your computer gently on flat surfaces; donāt leave it hanging out on a bed where it can get knocked off, donāt set it on the roof of your car. And yes, just dropping it a couple inches can kill your hard drive or totally shatter your screen.
DONāT PUT SHIT ON YOUR KEYBOARD
Look Iāve seen four people ruin their laptops because they had a pen on the keyboard and closed the laptop and it fucked up the screen and the keyboard and it sucks so much and you feel awful after it happens because itās so avoidable just donāt put things on your keyboard and always check that your laptop is clear before you close it.
PROTECT YOUR PORTS ON YOUR LAPTOP
Youāve only got one power jack and a limited number of other inputs on your computer and if they detach from the motherboard youāre fucked. USB ports get damaged because people use them a lot and eventually it weakens the connection and then they just stop working and it sucks. You can get around this with USB ports by using a USB hub to connect things like your keyboard and mouse.
For your power plug you just gotta be careful. Avoid tripping over the cord at all costs, donāt yank the plug out of the computer. It will SUCK VERY MUCH A LOT if you have to buy a new computer because the power port lost contact with the motherboard.
Donāt move your computer with things plugged into it. Take the power cord off before you put your laptop in the bag, take out the USB mouse dongle, do not travel with little nubby bits sticking out of your computer that can easily get caught or get tweaked or snap off inside of the thing.
(I really canāt emphasize enough that most of the āit will cost more than itās worth to fix thisā laptops I see are because of USB ports and power jacks. People donāt seem to know that this isnāt something that can be fixed easily; a broken power jack is a āremove the motherboard and resoldier componentsā job, not a āplug a new one in in fifteen minutesā job and most computer repair shops arenāt going to solder things for you and if they DO itās going to be very expensive)
RESTART YOUR SHIT AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH AND JUST LET THE FUCKING UPDATES RUN
You should probably restart more than once a month but whatever. This is actually something that I consider part of reducing heat stress because when your processor is straining to keep up with all the background bullshit thatās running from a program you opened three weeks ago itās going to use up resources and get hot and look just restart it once in a while.
Also the updates are almost always okay and safe and generally running updates is a good and secure thing to do (though maybe follow a blog dedicated to the OS you run because if there IS a problem with the updates that blog will probably talk about it before the update gets forced on your computer)
Yes you should probably be running an antivirus.
Sophos is free and itās fine. But donāt pay for it - if youāre using Sophos use the free version.
If youāre looking for something paid and a little more comprehensive I recommend ESET - get the cheap version, renewals cost less than the initial purchase, and feel free to get a multi-year version, the credentials follow your email not the computer so if your computer dies before your license expires you can install the license on a new computer.
DO NOT INSTALL NORTON OR MCAFEE THEY ARE EXPENSIVE BULLSHIT. Kaspersky is whatever. Itās less bullshit than Norton or McAfee but not as good as ESET for about the same cost.
If you think youāve got a virus run the free version of Malwarebytes and get your shit cleaned.
KEEP LIQUIDS THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOUR COMPUTER
Again this should be obvious and yet. But seriously, just make a rule for yourself that drinks arenāt allowed on the same table as your computer and youāll save yourself a lot of headaches.
PLUG YOUR COMPUTER INTO A UPS
Okay I fucking hate amazon but hereās a thing you should be using, just search the rest of the internet for āsurge protector/UPSā and youāll find something that isnāt from amazon - APC is a solid brand for this.
Basically you want a fat surge protector that has a little bit of a battery backup and you want to plug your computer (desktop OR laptop) into that instead of into the wall. The benefit of this is twofold:
1) if thereās a power surge the UPS will prevent your computerās power supply from getting fried and possibly frying parts of your motherboard
2) if thereās a power outage and youāre *at* your computer youāll have enough time to save what youāre working on before your computer loses power (like, youāll maybe only have a minute or two on a small UPS but thatās still time to hit CTRL+S and keep from losing work)
At a bare, bare minimum your computer should be plugged into a surge protector but NOT directly into the wall.
[we interrupt this yelling for me to tell you that Western Digital has apparently released their new My Passport line and Iām obligated to inform you that you can get a 2.5ā³ USB 3.0 backup drive with FIVE FUCKING TERABYTES OF STORAGE for $130. Or you can get 4TB for $93. Or you can get 1TB for $53. basically what Iām saying is that it is not only cheap computer season it is also cheap hard drive season.]
[also if youāre getting a backup drive get western digital not seagate seagate fucking sucks and has a much higher failure rate]
Uh, okay, anyway - Do an image backup of your computer every once in a while so that if you get infected or your hard drive dies or whatever you can just restore from backup and move on like nothing happened.
HEREāS HOW TO DO AN IMAGE BACKUP.
SAVE YOURSELF THE WEAR AND TEAR
You know what is cheap? USB Keyboards and USB mice. You know what is not cheap? Fixing the touchpad on a laptop or replacing a laptop keyboard.
Get yourself a USB hub, a USB Keyboard and a USB Mouse (wired or wireless, doesnāt matter) and if youāre using your laptop at home plug *that* into your computer.
Also if your keyboard on your laptop breaks itās fine just to use a USB keyboard instead I promise; if the screen breaks itās also usually cheaper and easier to get a used or inexpensive monitor than it is to replace the screen. Your laptop is basically just a very small version of whatever bullshit is going on inside a desktop, if the peripherals break but the core components are fine you can just use it like a desktop.
Unless itās a piece of shit that doesnāt have any USB ports or video out in which case you got ripped off, friend, demand functionality in your devices Iām sorry.
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