Let's Adore and Endure Each Other.
"We begin our way with firm decision to learn and to understand everything
The endless corridors with endless niches, each of which we must observe
Next turn gives us a new perspective with new niches
And at the end of the way - the last glance at all what we have gone through" Alexander Brodsky.
I went to Europe.
I remember being young and naive, and deciding that I was going to move to France, four or five years ago. I remember talking to a cousin who had recently moved there, and decided this was what I needed to do. Not too long after this decision, I met Remy. He was the cute, smart and funny boy from France. Sometimes, it's easy to forget how much is really out there. When you spend your days stuck in a bubble, in a routine, you start to live with blinders on. Remy though, he dropped out of the sky and reminded me that the world goes on further than the borders of Canada - and he made me want to go out into the world so badly, that it drove me insane.
Not long after I met Remy, I also met C. Who shrunk my world to the size of a heart shaped box. I became obsessed with the idea of him, and forget everything except the sound of his voice. I lost all my ambition, my desire to see the world and because of this, I eventually lost him too.
But one day, I woke up, and I decided to take it all back. I decided that I would go to Europe, on my own terms, and finally accomplish what I had wanted to do so many years ago - before I let love swallow me whole.
So I hopped on a plane and jetted off on an adventure. Slightly terrified, but ready. I remember, years back, when C had said he was going to move to Iceland to study - and I had blindly offered to go with him anywhere. Flash forward several years later - I found myself in Iceland, all alone. I stared out the airport window, at the complete nothingness that Iceland appeared to be. I had flown for hours, and imagined it to be a Nordic paradise. When I arrived it was 6am, it was pitch black and it was the most beautiful darkness I had ever seen. The only thing I could think of was "Fuck you! Fuck you, for saying I would never go anywhere, never amount to anything, that I had no drive! HERE I AM! I am fulfilling my dreams, and your dreams, and you are no where and you are nothing!" I said this to myself, and I laughed at how much hostility I was harbouring. But then a certain kind of calm washed over me. I was ready to just let go, and see where this trip would take me.
So I went down to the airport washroom, wiped the tears off my cheeks and I laughed. I was in Iceland, crying in an airport bathroom stall that was bigger than my apartment, and fitted with the most modern and up to date fixtures I had ever seen. The two hours total I spent in Iceland were surreal. Almost like I was only there in a dream, and when I awoke, I was in London Heathrow. I was talking to a security agent about the nature of my trip in the UK.
"I'm here to show my ex-boyfriend how much of a fucking idiot he is." I said to the woman. She high-fived me, stamped my passport, and everyone clapped as I walked through customs.
Then I woke up again. "I'm here for work. Looking to transfer to our local office here. Visiting some friends." She stared blankly at me, stamped my passport, and told me to have a nice day.
So I claimed my bag, and met up with Louis - and together he and I boarded the Eurostar with two bottles of vino (yes, on the Eurostar you can bring your own wine) and we set sail for Paris.
I won't go through the small details. Paris was beautiful, and it was all mine. It was everything that I wanted, and needed it to be - and I would not have changed a thing. We explored the city, we drank wine, we ate bread and cheese, and stayed up talking until dawn. Paris was romantic and mysterious, and all the things dreams are made of.
My first official French meal. I made the mistake of ordering the Fish of the Day. As a Newfoundlander, but still as a wuss, I love fish - but I expect all the work to be done for me. This was a real game changer (but was delicious.)
The obligatory "I stood under the Eiffel Tower" shot. I didn't go up, and I didn't get a photo taken with it because I simply am not that kind of tourist. But years ago, I promised myself I would stand under it one day. And it happened, and it was as beautiful as you would expect it to be.
That time we realized every house in France does not have a French Press coffee maker, so we had to craft our own. One plastic cup, two coffee filters, one hair elastic, one pot, boiling water, and coffee grounds. It was surprisingly delicious, and we were impressed with ourselves.
Finally reuniting with my cousin after years of telling her I would come one day, and finally meeting her husband Vince. It was wonderful to catch up, and even 10 years later, it was easy to tell that we would always be close.
One of the views from Gare du Nord train station. The simple elegance and beauty of France's architecture is undeniable. After being in Buenos Aires already this year, it was easy to see why BA is called the Paris of the Americas.
This one speaks for itself, the Arc De Triomphe in all her glory.
The picturesque view from the balcony of a friend's apartment we visited during our stay in Paris. Every inch of this city screams romance.
My two french boys; Louis (on the right), and Remy, the Original French Boy (on the left).
After a hard goodbye, we hopped on the train and Louis and I headed back to London. Where I would spend 7 days wandering on my own through all the sights and sounds of London. Every day, I fell more and more in love with it's nooks and crannies. London is an amazingly hypnotic city. There is a market around every corner, and every 10 steps you have an iconic view. There was never a moment where I felt bored, or lonely, or out of place. London swept me off my feet with it's cobblestone streets, draped in history, and it's pale grey sky. The mist sits on the city nearly 24/7, but in a way that seems to grow on you, and appreciate those sunny skies when they do shine through.
Rose Garden walk in Kensington Gardens.
A stroll through Kensington Gardens. The paths seem to go on forever.
Kensington Palace, home of Will and Kate. The gates were beautiful, but the palace wasn't really 'that' awe-inspiring
A cafe patio in Borough Market.
St. Paul's Cathedral.
Photos do not do this justice. The carvings, and sheer size of this place is something you need to see to believe. (Note: This photo was taken from the top, front seat of a classic double decker bus. A truly scary experience)
Street art in Shoreditch.
Market stall in Camden Market. This was one of the most insane markets I have ever been to. It seems to twist and turn forever.
A classic touristy view of the Tower Bridge. Like most people, I thought THIS was the 'London Bridge.' Little did I know, the London Bridge is actually a completely lack lustre bridge located about a mile away from here.
The ACTUAL London Bridge.
More street art from Shoreditch. Some pretty good advice, if I do say so myself.
The men lined up on the left side of the street are Curry Pushers. They all work of the line of curry restaurants that sit side by side on Brick Lane. Each storefront window has a sign that says 'BEST CURRY IN LONDON!" Don't be fooled though, the longer you hold out, the better deal you can find. Our best deal was 2 pints, 1 starter, 1 main, 1 rice, and 1 naan for 12GBP. Not too bad for a Saturday night out!
Shakespeare's Globe Theatre. A true bucket list destination for me.
The entrance to Borough Market.
Really though, the entire time you're in London, you'll just feel like you're in a Harry Potter movie. I had to keep myself in check because I get really excited when I meet people with accents back home, and in a place where EVERYONE is British, my loins were burning. (Ahem, overshare.)
The poppies at the Tower of London. An amazing tribute to the the centenary of WWI. As someone who comes from a military family, this in particular was one of my favourite things to see in London. Each poppy is placed to represent a life lost in the war - and this doesn't even begin to do just the sheer number of poppies that have been placed, which look like a river of blood, seeping from the windows of the tower.
A quote, on a sketch done by Alexander Brodsky. "The Intelligent Market"
Brodsky's work was my favourite exhibit I saw at the Tate Museum.
The details of London don't really matter. It was all for me. It was seven days of my feet on the pavement, and my head in the clouds. I walked for hours, and saw one thousand other things that I didn't bother to capture in photographs. I'm not usually the type of tourist who needs to catch everything on film, but this was one of the most therapeutic vacations I've ever had. I was reunited with people who meant the absolute world to me, and that was worth more than the cost of a few plane tickets.
To me, Paris was more than a place on my bucket list, the City of Lights was something I gave to myself as proof I was ready for a clean break and a new start. South America reminded me that romance is a necessary evil, and Europe reminded me that a broken heart will eventually mend. Had I never dated Corbin, I may have wound up in London and Paris years ago - but I would have never appreciated the way I did this time around. I've come to learn that there is no need to rush into the things you think you need at the time, because if it's supposed to happen, it will all fall into place eventually.
All you need is just a little patience.
The sunrise at the airport in Reykjavik, on my stop-over home. I was finally able to see the landscape of Iceland, and it was beautiful.The perfect way to end the trip of a lifetime, and a reminder of what is to come.
Paris and London were everything that I needed them to be. While it was, by far, the most expensive trip I have ever taken, what I took away from it was priceless.
I remember when I moved to Toronto, I imagined I'd be here forever. I fell for a few men a long the way, moved apartments a handful of times, met some amazing people, and almost ran off to India. In the end though, things always seem to turn out for the best. So now, I'm sitting on the cusp of the newest chapter of my life. A Scottish passport application is all that is standing between myself and London. Seeing as I've already gotten rid of my apartment as of January 1st, let's hope they don't deny my citizenship.
Keep your fingers crossed for me, boys and girls.
