catharsis → serendipity.

[everyone is like "you need to know who you are" -- what a fcking cliché]

[sheddingtears]

9 Days in Iceland

preface ; Solo travel has always been at the back of my mind ever since I started working and accumulated enough disposable income to go on trips. I’ve always been an ‘independent-to-a-fault’ kind of gal (in the words of my ex) – being more than just comfortable with being on my own and getting lost in my thoughts. The idea of traveling alone and forcing myself to learn and becoming capable of…

View On WordPress

[sheddingtears]

9 Days in Côte-Nord and Gaspésie

9 Days in Côte-Nord and Gaspésie

preface ;

I was going through photos taken from a recent road-trip, with an excited thought of all the things I’d be showing to my friends and colleagues when I realized: most of these pictures likely won’t be seen by anyone. Save for the lucky few shots chosen to be edited then showcased on Instagram, the rest of the few hundreds photos will stay forever hidden in a digital folder…

View On WordPress

[sheddingtears]

我没有真正考虑的唯一原因是因为我知道妈妈会崩溃的。 否则，我很久以前就会离开这里。

[sheddingtears]

i just got into a conversation with this lovely elderly man who started talking about the current state of politics and how he’s writing a book where he claims that it’s mathematically impossible to achieve democracy and how social media is severely tied to capitalism with use of manipulation and hypnotism and when we shook hands he was like, ‘i can usually read people when i shake their hands’, and held my hand for far too long but then he continues to say how i’m sure of myself but i think too much and that barrier is what instils fear in me so i need to break that barrier down and he kept on going and going and it was interesting and inspiring to see such an old and interesting man talk so passionately.

lmao. my sunday was great.

[sheddingtears]

"i am who i am, because of them"

“i am who i am, because of them”

i was walking up lower simcoe street to my office this morning when utada hikaru’s passion started playing. a cold wave of sick nostalgia washed over me as it suddenly hit me–it’s ended. kingdom hearts has finally come to an end and there’s no going back.

View On WordPress

[sheddingtears]

little reminders of you getting old #90

when you have to scroll longer than you’re used to down the list of years to select your birth-year.

[sheddingtears]

sundrop;

my dad likes to take us to one of his favourite fishing spots across town. it’s supposed to be a secret spot though every time we drive by, the tiny curved shore is lined with amateur fishermen hoping for the catch of the day. the numbers peak mid-afternoon but by dawn, it dwindles down to just a few floaters and hooks in the creek and that’s when dad steps in to try the waters.

mom and i tend to…

View On WordPress

[sheddingtears]

i’m so tired of social obligations and responsibilities.

[sheddingtears]

today i found out that a colleague of mine just got promoted to a higher pay grade—meaning 7-10k jump. congrats to him but what i’m salty about is the fact he went into his current team just 4 months ago and started smooching with the sr managers and directors, taking the time to have coffee chats and making connections instead of doing actual work, and now he’s fully signed.

i mean. yes we all need to network and this is an unfair world where only the players who know how to play the game right wins—but FCUK does that irk me.

[sheddingtears]

it’s 4:34am and the last clearest memory of when i stayed up this late was that time when i was still in university, when i was staying up late finishing up a math assignment. i remember a content peace that ran through me as i was staring out my window. the same sort of wonder i now felt but heavier because now, there are so many obligations and expectations for me to fulfill. because the evening before, i just let a mother of two get drunk on a full bottle of wine and proceed to smoke w33d and we all should’ve been more responsible than that.

i looked at my fb messenger and alex was online. it took me back to a one of those times when i was truly happy—that summer when i took japanese101 with tim and andrew and we had a blast in that class and when tim and i became so much closer, and i remember taking the final exam and walking out with tim and alex and then cruising around waterloo in alex’s car as the three of us hunted for pokémon. then we got bubble tea. and met up with matt. and we were so happy. i was so so happy in my own element, with the people i love.

and it’s not the same anymore. i feel grateful and lucky and blessed but i don’t have that carefree joy. i want that back, i want to experience it one more time. be a little reckless, a little wild.

good night.

[sheddingtears]

To keep pace, an overwhelming majority of Canadian employers have turned to co-ops, internships and other forms of work-integrated learning. The survey of hiring managers in 95 large companies found 86% use such programs, up from 76% two years ago. Those firms are also spending more on training, with 51% budgeting more than $1,000 per employee per year, up from 46% in 2016. In return, employers are demanding more; 70% said their expectations of new grads are higher today than five years ago, largely because of tech-driven changes in the workplace. What exactly are they demanding? Teamwork, communications, problem-solving, analysis and resilience—skills that are in short supply. Pretty much every employer said that while they’re happy with the numeracy, literacy and technical skills of recent grads, they’re less satisfied with the business acumen and “human skills” they’re seeing. Hey, Alexa, isn’t that ironic?

—J. Stackhouse on companies investing in human capital for the future

[sheddingtears]

money goes where politics grow, politics grow where religion goes; religion goes where politics go, and politics go where money grows.

[sheddingtears]

世界上曾经有这么一个人，就眼皮能动，思想却在遨游太空。而很多人身强力壮，但是思想却一辈子都瘫在轮椅上。

—Dad

(There once in this world lived a man who could only move his eyelids, but his mind was travelling in infinite space. And while there are many people who are healthy and strong, their minds are forever bound to a wheelchair)

[sheddingtears]

work advice: don’t ever be too competent in your job, especially in the beginning. because everyone will see how good you are and yes, they might appreciate you for it but they will do so by giving you more work and come to ask you for questions and soon, you’ll be the subject matter expert for EVERYTHING and u don’t want that unless your salary matches you unofficial position as SME (ie. director). now i’m not saying to not do good work—pick your battles, tease them, do just enough to show you’re good at what u do but not too much so others don’t fucking come to you for every single simple question because they can’t be bothered to read or think or do the work themselves.

play the game right.

[sheddingtears]

“if you wrap your hands around the kettle, will it make it boil faster?”

—alex

[sheddingtears]

there’s a guy in my company named hawk and if that’s not a cool name, i don’t know what is.

[sheddingtears]

littler reminders of you getting old #492

when a survey asks for your age and you have to pause a second to think about the number