The Freedom Fighters: I am man, therefore I am lion.
A silent epidemic of epic proportions is occurring, and has been occurring for many years, in the dating world. It is the syndrome of the freedom-fighting man. Not the ballsy kind of freedom fighter out to overthrow their government based on a moral standpoint. No, this is a kind of freedom-fighter out to overthrow anyone who clashes against their own constant search for liberation.
These are men in their late twenties/early thirties who are utterly desperate to hang on to their sense of freedom (i.e. lack of commitment to any other human being) no matter who or what obstacles stand in the way. The freedom-fighters come in various forms. However, for now, let’s address the first one; the I-have-a-penis-so-it-is-my-biological-nature-to-spread-my-seed-and-seek-freedom guy. This is an extremely common argument, it translates to something like this: I am man, therefore I am a lion: I can fuck, hunt and roam the pride lands as freely as I like. Based on this argument men can justify flings, one-night stands, open relationships and a general lack of commitment that is often difficult to dispute as a female.
However there seems to be some missing links in the logic of the primal man argument. If man functions on pure instinct, does this not mean he should also be regularly going head-to-head in aggressive battles with other men, partaking in infanticide, spraying street corners to mark his territory and ravaging at decaying carcasses? Yes, we witness it in the animal kingdom but didn’t that pesky little field known as science once prove that humans have enhanced capacities for logical reasoning comparative to our animal counterparts?
I am not here to argue that this biological nature doesn’t exist. It certainly does. As does a human’s right to have as many intimate relationships as they wish. The problem arises when the freedom-fighters use the excuse of their biological nature to condone their lack of consideration for the other person in the situation. A primal desire to copulate with as many people as possible, does not equate to a wildcard that enables a man to dismiss the needs of the other person involved. It is this kind of assumption, resulting in inconsideration, where inequality exists. Because men are using the ‘I am a primal being’ card, they are not only assuming the primal behaviours of lovin’ freely, but also of not-giving-a-fuck about their mate beyond hormonal satisfaction.
Men prove each day, in almost everything they do, that they are more than their caveman instincts. They are doing themselves a disservice by using the excuse that they cannot function on any level other than that of their biological nature. They would be unsuccessful members of society if they could not conduct business like humans, walk down the street like humans and eat food like humans. So why, when it comes to dating, is it okay for men to regress to a caveman code of conduct?
Because, it is a quick and easy way to get out of any sense of responsibility that may require extra energy, time, or (god-forbid) compromise needed to be considerate of another persons needs. In addition it grants them the right to engage in any form of encounter guilt-free, as their biological rights as a man seemingly trump everything else.
This justification that men are inherently controlled by biology and nothing more is completely illogical. A man has the right to be with as many women as he wants, but it’s time that that right stop being lazily and cheaply justified by caveman instinct that often result in the emotional neglect of their partners. We as humans have evolved beyond this, we can be considerate of the needs of both parties involved. We have minds that can think beyond the desires of our genitals; we aren’t lions, we are humans. It’s time we found a little more humanity in the dating scene.
