Arie D. @shesaried - Tumblr Blog

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“Focus on you. People wake up with different feelings everyday.”

— Unknown

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shesaried

As I’ve grown older as a woman, I’ve begun to understand how cheap it is and how dehumanizing it can be, to only be seen or lusted for because of your outer beauty.

When thinking of the opportunities and experiences that were presented and given to me because of the privilege that comes with being very beautiful, I often am hit with the reality that most people who provided such experiences only wanted me to show up as who they wanted me to be. Rather, it was being acquired for love, sexual desires, a void, or to be used; a multitude of them preferred me as their premeditated idea. Ideas that were principally attached to hypersexualization, fantasies, patriarchy, and mainly how I can be used to make their lives more pleasurable. As I come more into this womanhood, I further realize the privilege of beauty is a double-edged sword. I too fell victim to the belief that, as a woman, I am most worthy when I make myself palatable for others to indulge in me. The more I unravel this illusion, the more I've come to know that the best thing I’ve done for myself as a woman is to choose what is most authentic to my femininity and define what that means for me. Much as I do love my outer beauty, there is no comparison—and I mean absolutely no comparison—to the beauty that lies behind my flesh. I also know that not everyone will see it that way, and I’ve begun to truly understand how amazing it is to be deliberately seen and desired for what doesn't just meet the eye. There is something very honorary about knowing that the people who do see me will make space for me the way I make space for myself.