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@sheslostcontrol
Get What.
I think the Stones had it all figured out in July of 1969. I tend to chronicle my life into songs, “Can’t Always Get What You Want” having been around for more years than it hasn’t. I found myself reaching for the tune as if it was on a medicinal shelf. When you wake up in the morning with a lump still embedded in your throat there isn’t much else one can do other than reach for a record. This…
POV
This morning between meetings I took the two dogs I’m watching for a walkAs we turned a corner, a loud bark made us look towards a windowTwo sets of eyes stared back at us, belonging to a young boy and his dogTheir faces were both pressed up against the glassTheir eyes straining to see all of the view just outside the thin paneOutside!The barking slowly turned from protective to longingI watched…
July
It is the kind of day where your ice cream begins to melt before your lips reach the spoon. My mouth welcomes the familiar comfort of the taste as I hasten my pace to make it back to my air conditioned car. The street is lined with beach traffic. Car after car in varying states of glee or distress waiting their turn to turn left onto the highway. I try to guess about their lives through a…
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To Noah
I turn 25 tomorrow. I have seen 9129 sunrises and sunsets. I have graduated from college. I’ve traveled to Europe. I’ve held my nephew. I’ve lived on my own. I’ve been in love. I’ve had tomorrow. The Starbucks cups turn red in October, a sign of the impending holiday season. We lost you to the cancer on September 22, and I remember thinking of all of the trivial aspects of life that you…
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Inside - Bo Burnham
Inside – Bo Burnham
Before I watch this film 100 more times, I wanted to get this out into the universe. Take a moment to collect myself on my lunch break, and thank Mr. Bo Burnham. ‘Inside’ helped me collectively process the parts of these last 16 months we will never get back. I found myself crying during ‘All Eyes on Me’ when he repeats Its almost over. Its just begun. The phrases paired together are already…
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SINGLE ✓ 30-35 ✓ NO CHILDREN ✓
SINGLE ✓ 30-35 ✓ NO CHILDREN ✓
There are some things you just can’t fully understand until they are your reality. Marriage. Kids. Divorce. Losing a parent. Losing a child. You don’t understand. And you don’t. There is no substitute for any of those things becoming a reality. In 2020, we came to understand what it meant to live through a pandemic. Especially in the beginning, we were vulnerable in a way that many of us had…
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World Mental Health Day [2020]
World Mental Health Day [2020]
Hindsight is 2020. On Mental Health Day 2020, in my 32nd year, I have found that phrase to be quite true. For almost an entire year now, most of us have longed for the days we didn’t quite cherish the way we should have. In the midst of this madness, it is funny how emotional the simple memory of sitting next to a stranger in a movie theatre makes me. Or dare I say even sitting on the crowded N…
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Looking from a window above
Looking from a window above
Nothing could have prepared us for this year. What was normal before now seems like a fever dream. The ability to destress after a long day anywhere but your own room. To walk freely sans mask, taking your pick of which restaurant to dine in at the end of a long week.
I had become so accustomed to my creature comforts. The AMC theatre, my Indian food – table-for-1, the bus loop from my…
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A letter to Dean Preston of San Francisco April 15th , 2020
I wrote an unanswered letter to a Dean Preston ([email protected]) in April regarding the 800+ tents recently distributed to homeless during Covid-19 and the result that as well as the ever worsening homeless crisis has had on San Francisco. Mr. Preston seems to love the limelight but ignore inquiries from concerned citizens about the realities of his decisions. Tonight he’s once again…
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Black Squares and White Privilege
Black Squares and White Privilege
Lessons in humility are perhaps some of the most important. Today it came in the form of a black square. While many of us had good intentions, I have learned in my own journey to allyship that is not always about what you meant. Words have meaning and we are responsible for what we say and post, even if what we were trying to accomplish isn’t what is conveyed.
Though there were noble elements…
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Sobriety is not for everyone. And thats ok!
Since there have been a lot of articles and posts about how much people are drinking during the shelter in place, a lot of the non-drinking communities have had a lot to say.
One of the most important things I’ve realized in my own 652 days of sobriety is that it is my decision. It’s what works for me. While I know it can be disarming to see other people have a mimosa or “wine down” it is not…
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Alone, Together.
Might I distract you from impending panic with another form of the sort. Dating in the age of apps has seemingly obliterated any sense of normal. It can feel like another planet at times. Summing myself up in five sentences or less? Knowing I’m passionate about ice cream and a certain chain of gas stations over most things?
Even WITH booze dating can feel like you’re being buried alive. To be…
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Modern /- (Love)
Might I distract you from impending panic with another form of the sort. Dating in the age of apps has seemingly obliterated any sense of normal. It can feel like another planet at times. Summing myself up in five sentences or less? Knowing I’m passionate about ice cream and a certain chain of gas stations over most things?
Even WITH booze dating can feel like you’re being buried alive. To be…
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#twitterforgood
Yesterday at the final day of a team event for Twitter, I was able to volunteer at Yes Prep – Gulfton. YES Prep is an open-enrollment public charter school system serving students in grades six through twelve in Houston’s most underserved communities. Their principal, Oscar Romano welcomed all 50 or so of the Twitter employees into their gym and shared that he had been the son of two immigrants…
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10.31.19.
Halloween has always been fascinating to me. When I was 8 my Dad took me to see the Nightmare Before Christmas and he still remembers how flushed I was when we left. He knew at this point that when I really loved a movie I’d look like I had a fever coming out of the theater. I felt it in my whole heart. My whole little kid body.
When I got older, I realized it wasn’t just movies I loved with…
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Out of the Darkness - American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
Out of the Darkness – American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
This will be most personal thing I’ve ever wrote. Appropriate seeing that aged 31 is the most personal I’ve ever felt. A few months ago my best friend stared at me from across the table of a restaurant she’d driven 45 miles to get to in order to give me a hug. I’d recently decided I was through with drinking. Final Final. Done. She’d listened to me explain myself, nodding and reminding me she…
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The Wolf.
I enter the maze every day around this time
Brake lights illuminating then disappearing
Same bend in the curve
But today something feels different
The pace is slower
They’re stopping to see you
You.
The white mass at the edge of the divide
Your coat is matted and wet with the afternoon’s rain
Likely the culprit of your demise
I’m holding my breath waiting my turn
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